This post will be rather shorter than my usual efforts due in part to a rather unpleasant afternoon ahead of me. I’m two hours away from my seventh colonoscope (that’s right, I said seven) and my mind is wandering elsewhere (like right around my ass). That being said I’d like to quickly entertain you with some interesting quotes concerning our society’s obsession with TV. I’m addicted myself and have a love/hate relationship with my addiction and all of my TV’s. Here’s what some profession media types think.
Anonymous TV Quote
“The electronic device that intersperses gory slaughter with the brushing of teeth.”
Woody Allen
In California, they don’t throw their garbage away – they make it into TV shows.”
Daid Frost
“TV is an invention that permits you to be entertained in your living room by people you wouldn’t have in your home.”
Samuel Goldwyn
“Why should people go out and pay to see bad films when they can stay at home and see bad television for nothing?”
T.S. Eliot
Television is a medium of entertainment which permits millions of people to listen to the same joke at the same time and yet remain lonesome.”
Lily Tomlin
“If you read a lot of books, your considered well read. But if you watch a lot of TV, you’re not considered well viewed.”
Frank Zappa
I can’t understand why anybody would want to devote their life to a cause like dope. It’s the most boring pastime I can think of. It ranks a close second to television.”
Groucho Marx
“I find television very educating. Every time someone turns on the set I go into the other room and read a book.”
I really have to agree with most of these critics and at the same time I feel I’ve just been royally chastised for enjoying my addiction. Although, I shouldn’t be too surprised. I’ve had a number of addictions over the years and there were always plenty of so-called experts around to offer their opinions. So, to remain consistent I’ll ignore these experts like I’ve ignored all the others. They have their nerve!
Do you consider yourself a food addict? Unfortunately every human being on the planet is, like it or not. We’re obsessed with food for our entire lives and without it we would cease to exist. That’s obviously an addiction I can and have learned to live with.
As I watch TV everyday the constant stream of food-related instructional programming is enough to drive me up the wall. Never in my life did I imagine just how wrong I’ve been eating and drinking and truly enjoying myself. Actually if the experts are right, everything that I eat is unhealthy, lacking nutritional value, and will eventually kill me. Fifteen years ago eggs were the killer and a few years later, whoops, all of a sudden a couple of eggs a week is no problem. Drinking coffee is bad and then it’s good. Eating sugar is dangerous and then it’s good in moderate amounts. Drinking soda is bad, turn it into diet soda, then it’s good, closely examine the sweetener in the diet soda, and then it’s bad again.
I’ve been convinced over the years that all of these so-called experts haven’t got a clue. Every expert that I can find tells me of food products that are bad. The problem is, I can find just as many that will tell me that they aren’t. Don’t even get me started on all of the other things these alleged experts tell us. Don’t drink the water, don’t breathe the air, why not just drop over dead and get it over with.
I’m not here to try and explain their motives, their inaccuracies, or their self-righteousness. I’m just saying that even the dumbest person I know can eventually figure out how ridiculous it all is. Now I’m going to fill your head with some ridiculous food-related information that is just as educational as all of the nonsense supplied from food manufacturers and also from our friendly know-it-all government. Let’s get started.
500 million Hostess Twinkies are sold every year.
In America, Coca-Cola out sells Pepsi. In Saudi Arabia and Quebec, the opposite is true.
The average ear of corn has 800 kernels.
Black olives contain 10 to 30% more oil than green olives.
Watermelon is a vegetable.
The national drink of Iceland is a potato schnapps called Black Death.
M&M’s were named after candy developers Forrest Mars and Bruce Murrie.
The Marquis De Sade loved chocolate so much he had it sent to him in prison.
The Aztecs considered avocados an aphrodisiac.
I’ll bet my information is just as factual as all of those expert’s and a helluva lot more interesting and silly.
I think it’s time for a serious rant about this wonderful but addictive society we’re all members of. For years we’ve been slowly retrained to believe that every bad thing we do isn’t our fault. It’s the fault of our parents, our teachers, our bad friends, and last but not least, because of our genetic predisposition for addiction. What it’s finally come down to in this country is the fact that we are not permitted to like anything too much.
When I was growing up we had addictions but in my opinion they were the real deal, drugs and alcohol. It wasn’t until the liberals and courts opened Pandora’s Box and decided that those addictions were really just serious medical conditions. That’s when our real problems began. Those terrible addictions were first declared a sickness, then an excuse for a disability check, and now it’s become the rationale for every bit of bad behavior you can think of. If you like candy too much, you’re addicted to candy. If you like scratching your ass, you’re labeled an addictive ass scratcher. It’s the current trend to label any activity someone likes a little too much as an addiction.
It’s not our fault that we drink too much, take illicit drugs, steal, murder, rape, and assault our children. We can’t help it, it’s a medical issue. We should never be prosecuted or jailed for our bad behavior, just cut us a government disability check because we’re addicted. We’ve become a society that just can’t or won’t deal with personal responsibility.
Government and courts are as responsible as anyone for this. You can commit heinous crimes against society but before you can be convicted you’re required to meet with lawyers, therapists, counselors, priests, nuns, and every once in a while an actual member of law enforcement. You can meet with law enforcement but the Miranda ruling forbids you from talking to them without an attorney present.
The nanny state has made it impossible to deter crime by consistently attempting to remove all of the tools available to law enforcement. If the liberals have their way they would abolish the death penalty and take away all rights from the citizenry to own and carry weapons for their own protection. That will put us all at the mercy of the criminal element who will be armed and dangerous and preying on us at will.
I could easily list three hundred addictions currently available for people to help them escape responsibility. I won’t list them all because most right-thinking people already know how big the list is and what’s on it.
I’ve had my own set of terribly dangerous addictions that I’m forced to deal with everyday. I love eating good food, drinking good wine, watching beautiful women, playing video games, and many others. I’m sure it won’t be long before I’ll also be able to collect a big fat disability check for these terrible addictions.
Maybe under the Biden Administration I can find the help that I obviously need. Maybe I should just turn myself in to the authorities before I’m forced by my medical conditions to commit a crime of some sort. Then I’ll be eligible for free therapy sessions (court-mandated) that will cost the taxpayers thousands of dollars. I’ll get a free court appointed attorney who’ll take me by the hand and lead me to the promised land of free money, free food, and freedom from prosecution due to my medical difficulties. Isn’t America wonderful? Land of the free, not hardly, and home of the brave, not hardly. The only bravery I see these days is from those citizens who’ve volunteered to serve their country by wearing the uniform of our military.
I haven’ t posted anything since the start of the year and I’m feeling a little guilty. Having a blog is like having an ungratful child. It’s a lot of work for which I receive virtually no gratitude. I especially miss the less than friendly emails received from my more liberal readers. My life has been empty without their caustic comments and endless political preaching. I’ve relegated them to a dustly shelf in my mancave where everything that bores me is stored.
Enough of that . . . On to other matters concerning my newest and least satisfying addiction. I’ve known for sometime that I have an addictive personality. As a very young man I had a tremendous taste for beer. It got me into some trouble in my teens and I had to finally let it go. No more of that nasty brew. Then in my twenties I turned my attention to cigarettes and the occasion toke of giggle weed. Both of which hung on until my thirites when I saw the light and quit smoking everything. No more happiness weed and no more cigarettes. I got healthy, hit the gym, and finally (according to my mother) turned myself into a beautiful and productive person.
As the years rolled along I ended my addiction to marriage and lived a rather raucous and crazy few years filled with wine women and song. Yes I’d finally discovered a taste for wine and women but no matter what I did I couldn’t carry a tune. As is usual the combination of wine and women got me into considerable trouble as well. I finally met, fell in love, and settled down with the love-of-my-life, stopped drinking wine and turned instead to brandy.
The next to go was the damn brandy. While I enjoyed the brandy drinking experience it was rather boring and I had to stop. I hate spending that kind of money on alcohol that tastes great but I get no glow. No glow means you got to go and it did. So currently I’ve reduced my addictions to just three. My woman is here to stay, thats #1, and thank god for a continuous supply of Jack Daniels (thats #2). I’ve limited myself to just two or three Jack & Pepsi’s a week (and maybe a few more if we have visitors). Things seem to be working out perfectly almost . . .
My last remaining addiction is without a doubt the worst. I’ve rid myself of a major television addiction 2 years ago when I could no longer stand watching 10 minutes of commercials every half hour. I told Dish Network to cancel my account and signed up immediately with Netflix and Amazon for streaming service. Unfortuneately streaming is a double-edged sword. Being generous I estimate that both streaming services are 80% crap and only 20% of their movies are worth watching unless you want to pay a fee. My newest and worst addiction is to this endless supply of terrible, crappy, and ridiculous movies.
SOMEONE PLEASE HELP ME
I’m in dire need of some sort of 12 step program to get me away from this TV. My greatest fear these days is that my better-half will find me alone in the dark, slumped over in my favorite chair, clutching the remote. Dead from dehydration, boredom, and felony eye-slaughter.
As with most people of my generation, I’m addicted to television. A TV addiction is much like a heroin addiction. All the while your doing it you know it’s no good for you but you can’t stop yourself. We’re unfortunate in that we were born before TV and were hooked at an early age when it became readily available to the masses.
I remember those days with a B&W TV screen the size of a cereal box turned toward the dining room table so we could all watch as we ate our meal. A large antenna on the roof that rotated 360 degrees to help us pick up the signal. Three fantastic networks held our attention for years and made the TV our friend. It was on constantly in the house more for the company it provided than for the enjoyment of what was being aired.
As things progressed over the years my addiction really took hold and I was lost. The only thing that kept me from being lost forever was my time in the Army. I was located in a somewhat isolated part of South Korean and we had no television whatsoever. Two years which allowed me to kick the habit and resume a normal life (if you consider the Army a normal life). It was quite the shock to my system when I finally returned home. The TV at home was now in color, the screen was three times as big, and there were so many more programs to watch. It was all I could do to control myself.
As the years went by it became a love/hate relationship. Most of the programing was garbage and I found myself watching things that were ridiculous. That has continued unabated until now as I sit and watch a few hundred HD channels filled with more and more crap. Since there doesn’t seem to be any kind of rehab available for this addiction I guess I’ll continue to watch, be disgusted with myself and the programming, and continue to bitch and complain about the increasing costs.
I’ve always enjoyed trashing most of the pop culture nonsense that the airwaves and cables deliver to me every day and I hope that continues. I was shocked and pleasantly surprised when I recently stumbled onto a program I actually liked and will continue to watch. It’s a program on the Sundance Channel called “The Approval Matrix”.
‘Host: Neal Brennan’
Neal Brennan is someone I’ve never heard of and and I knew absolutely nothing of the backstory of how the Approval Matrix originated. Finding out it was a product of New York Magazine would normally have put me off a bit but surprise, surprise, it didn’t. I found myself captivated almost immediately by the format, the variety of guest commentators, and the subject matter. We now have a show that will help us determine what is cool, what isn’t and why.
Watching Brennan deliver his lines is priceless. It seems as if the writers are channeling Dennis Miller but at half speed. It’s smart comedy for those people who are willing to pay close attention.
Finally I have a smart and funny show to bookmark and to watch religiously.
I’ve been a coffee addict in a serious way since my time in the U.S. Army. During those years my Army buddies and I drank a great quantity of what was called coffee. It was strong and thick and black as night. It was really just a poor man’s substitute for “speed. It would keep you alert for hours on end while patrolling or carousing in the nearby villages until all hours. It was as important to us as the food we ate and there was an endless supply available in the mess hall around the clock.
I returned to the states to resume my civilian life and within a short time became a member of the Pennsylvania State Police. The coffee was a little weaker but we drank it constantly as we patrolled both at night and during the day. And no, donuts weren’t as prevalent as the media and stand-up up comics would lead you to believe. It was all about the caffeine.
I come by my coffee addiction honestly and it still remains an important part of my existence to this day. Just as a point of information I feel the need to reiterate; I hate Starbucks. They’ve made coffee a yuppie joke to those of us who are real coffee drinkers.
With International Coffee Day approaching on September 29 I thought you might find a little coffee trivia interesting since it’s been an important commodity for millions of people throughout the centuries. Here we go. . .
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Once in the past, coffee was believed to be the devil’s drink. Pope Vincent III heard about it and decided to taste it. He enjoyed it so much he baptized it, saying "Coffee is so delicious it would be a pity to let the infidels (Muslims) have exclusive use of it."
Both the American Revolution and the French Revolution were born in coffee houses. The American Revolution was developed by patriots who were customers in the Green Dragon (some say it was the Green Lion) Public House in London. The infamous French Revolution in 1789 was spurred on by Camille Desmoulins’s verbal campaign in coffeehouses.
Vincent Van Gogh was a big frequenter of the café society and famously said “I have tried to show the café as a place where one can go mad.”
An interesting Turkish law decreed that it was quite acceptable for a woman to ask for a divorce if her husband failed to provide her with adequate coffee rations.
Coffee was denounced by many religious leaders as the drink of Satan. Coffee houses were known as “hotbeds of sedition”. In the 1700’s many coffee houses were ordered to close.
There are 900 different flavors of Arabica. Complex and very volatile, they deteriorate if exposed to air and light.
The original blend called "Maxwell House" got its name from The Maxwell House Hotel, where it was first served in Nashville Tennessee in 1886 (also where Teddy Roosevelt was heard to say "good to the last drop", creating the Maxwell House slogan).
In 1732, at the height of his creative genius, Johann Sebastian Bach wrote the Cantata No. 211 or Coffee Cantata. It is considered by many to be a work of perfection.
In Turkey, bridegrooms were once required to make a promise during their wedding ceremonies to always provide their new wives with coffee. Failure to do so would be grounds for divorce (no pun intended).
The second most widely used product in the world after oil.
It is a living to more than 100 million people.
It is consumed at the rate of 1400 million cups per day.
The world’s second most popular drink after water.
Beethoven, a known coffee lover, was not only particular about his music. He was also particular about his coffee brew. He always wanted 60 beans for each cup of his coffee.
Today, there must be 10,000 coffee shops in Venice alone! (In the year 1763, there were already over 200 coffee shops in Venice)
Cappuccino derived its name due to its similarity in color to the robes of an order of Monks called the Capuchins.
Well-known performers such as Joan Baez and Bob Dylan began their careers performing in coffeehouses. Another singer, Lightnin’ Hopkins, complained about his woman’s neglect with her domestic situation because of her coffeehouse socializing in his 1969 song, Coffeehouse Blues.
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Well there you have it. Every thing you always wanted to know about coffee but were afraid to ask. It’s now time for me to get back to my new friend, the K-Kup coffee maker, for a hot and sweet cup of vanilla/biscotti. Man that’s the cats ass.
These days it’s become chic to announce your addiction, get your 15 minutes of attention, and then check into some over priced and ridiculous rehab center. It apparently makes a person something of a celebrity when they can gain sympathy for having the good sense to go to rehab. It’s a lot of nonsense to be sure but it is what it is, you get to be the final judge. It"s worked for more celebrities than I could possibly name but Lindsey Lohan and Charlie Sheen immediately come to mind.
I need to step up myself. Being a former smoker I realize just what an addiction is and how difficult it can be to stop. It’s been some thirty years since I last smoked but as one addiction is disposed of others then become a real possibility. I drank a little too much for a time but eventually was able to put that behind me and there were a few other minor things like green M&M’s, chocolate of any kind, and Tootsie pops. I seem to require at least one ongoing addiction at all times.
About fifteen years ago I became hooked on something new which has become my all time biggest addiction and there doesn’t appear to be any rehab facility anywhere to address this problem. The first step in any twelve step program is to admit you have a problem and I’m here today to do just that. Here it comes. I AM ADDICTED TO JALAPEÑO PEPPERS!!!!! I feel so much better now that I’ve finally shouted that out to the entire world (meaning this blog).
Yesterday I was running errands and doing some food shopping when I drove past my favorite Vietnamese market. I stop there often because they carry a huge assortment of southeast Asian spices and food products that I was introduced to while serving in the Far East for a few years. They also carry a wide assortment of fruits and veggies priced well below other food retailers in the area. What did I find? They were having a huge sale on jalapeños and I was immediately caught up in the excitement of the moment. I was out of control with desire and immediately purchased twelve pounds of some of the most beautiful jalapeno peppers I’ve ever seen. I made the purchase and couldn’t wait to speed home with my peppers .
I decided to pickle and can them as quickly as possible. I currently eat at least a jar a week and when your buying them off-the-shelf from a Walmart or Hannaford it can get a little pricey. I had enough peppers to fill at least twelve pint jars which would tide me over through a couple of months during the upcoming winter. I took a few minutes to develop a recipe for a brine, wrote it all down, and checked my canning supplies to be sure I had a sufficient number of jars to get the job done. With my jalapeño peppers in one hand and a cutting board in the other I was ready to begin.
I put on two pair of latex gloves to protect my hands, I plopped my ass in front of the TV, and watched a movie while slicing the jalapeños. That’s what we call a night of relaxation in this house. An hour or so later the job was done and the peppers stored in the refrigerator to await canning tomorrow. Thank God for latex gloves!
It’s now tomorrow and here are the jalapenos fresh from their water bath. In a month or so they’ll be ready to eat whenever I get the craving. I’ll keep my eyes open to purchase more if I can find them because I can never have enough. That’s how an addiction works.
Over the years I’ve become addicted to coffee in all of it’s forms. From expresso to roasted coffee beans covered in chocolate, I love it all. It started when I was in the Army and accelerated once I left the service and became a police officer. I like it hot and strong and always desire just one more steaming cup. With all of the activity taking place this Spring it really helps me to stay focused and offers that boast of energy I absolutely require.
One of the better purchases I’ve made in recent months was a K-Kup coffee maker. I now can change the type and flavor of coffee at a moments notice and I maintain a nice assortment of coffees and teas for my enjoyment. I’m in a caffeine heaven.
As a change today rather than offering a journal entry I thought I’d pass along a little coffee trivia I’ve collected. It’s way more interesting than you might think. Enjoy the following with a nice mug of your favorite brew.
The United States is the world’s largest consumer of coffee, importing 16 to 20 million bags annually (2.5 million pounds), representing one-third of all coffee exported. More than half of the United States population consumes coffee. The typical coffee drinker has 3.4 cups of coffee per day. That translates into more than 450,000,000 cups of coffee daily.
Legend has it a 9th-century Ethiopian goat herder discovered coffee by accident when he noticed how crazy the beans were making his goats.
New Yorkers drink almost 7 times more coffee than other cities in the US.
The lethal dose of caffeine is roughly 100 cups of coffee.5. A French doctor in the 1600s suggested Cafe Au Laits for patients, inspiring people to begin adding milk to coffee.
Espresso is regulated by the Italian government because it is considered an essential part of their daily life
In the 1600s there was a controversy over whether or not Catholics could drink coffee, luckily Pope Clement VIII said it was okay.
After the decaffeinating process, processing companies no longer throw the caffeine away; they sell it to pharmaceutical companies.
Coffee is the most popular beverage worldwide with over 400 billion cups consumed each year.
Coffee lends its popularity to the fact that just about all flavors mix well with it.
Here is a recipe from: ‘Kitchen Directory and American Housewife’ (1844) "Use a tablespoonful ground to a pint of boiling water [less than a quarter of what we would use today]. Boil in tin pot twenty to twenty-five minutes. If boiled longer it will not taste fresh and lively. Let stand four or five minutes to settle, pour off grounds into a coffee pot or urn. Put fish skin or isinglass size of a nine-pence in pot when put on to boil or else the white and shell of half an egg to a couple of quarts of coffee."
“My New Best Friend”
The United States is the world’s largest consumer of coffee, importing 16 to 20 million bags annually (2.5 million pounds), representing one-third of all coffee exported. More than half of the United States population consumes coffee. The typical coffee drinker has 3.4 cups of coffee per day. That translates into more than 450,000,000 cups of coffee daily.
LESS caffeine than medium roasts. The longer a coffee is roasted, the more caffeine burns off during the process.
During the American Civil War the Union soldiers were issued eight pounds of ground roasted coffee as part of their personal ration of one hundred pounds of food. And they had another choice: ten pounds of green coffee beans.
During World War II the U.S. government used 260 million pounds of instant coffee.
If you like your espresso coffee sweet, you should use granulated sugar, which dissolves more quickly, rather than sugar cubes; white sugar rather than brown sugar or candy; and real sugar rather than sweeteners which alter the taste of the coffee.
In 1727, as a result of seedlings smuggled from Paris, coffee plants first were cultivated in Brazil. Brazil is presently by far the world’s largest producer of coffee.
In the 14th century, the Arabs started to cultivate coffee plants. The first commercially grown and harvested coffee originated in the Arabian Peninsula near the port of Mocha.
In the 16th century, Turkish women could divorce their husbands if the man failed to keep his family’s pot filled with coffee.
In the year 1790, there were two firsts in the United States; the first wholesale coffee roasting company, and the first newspaper advertisement featuring coffee.
Jamaica Blue Mountain is often regarded as the best coffee in the world.
Lloyd’s of London began as Edward Lloyd’s coffeehouse.
“Decaf is like masturbating with an oven mitt!” ~Robin Williams
Well we’re in day three of the Coffee Trivia marathon. I’ve explained in detail all of my past addictions, MY history with coffee over the years and finally today I’ll address my current coffee situation.
“I never drink coffee at lunch. I find it keeps me awake for the afternoon.” ~Ronald Reagan
I’m in the throes of a weight-loss program which while needed is nonetheless annoying and difficult. The diet I’ve been restricted to is not easy and leaves me very few food items that are fulfilling and satisfying. I kid people when I tell them my diet consists of radishes, pudding, cashews, cereal, water, and above all coffee. Coffee is and remains my one luxury item and regardless of what any Doctor tells me it will be the last thing I ever give up.
That being said, I’d like introduce you to my two new best friends. My weight-loss program would never be as successful as it’s been without these devices.
They allow me the luxury of a large number of options in preparing my coffee and it’s helped me work through this ungodly diet. As you can also see the variety of coffee’s available is incredible and I’m really enjoying tasting as many different types and styles as I can find.
So now I’ll continue my seemingly endless list of coffee trivia. I hope you’ve learned a little about coffee and it’s tremendous effect on the world’s economy as well as the huge number of employees it supports worldwide. It appears I’m not the only coffee addict on this planet. I’m just one of many millions who loves the bean. Enjoy.
“Still One of the Best”
65 countries in the world grow coffee. They are all along the equator, within the tropics.
After they are roasted, and when the coffee beans begin to cool, they release about 700 chemical substances that make up the vaporizing aromas.
Beethoven who was a coffee lover, was so particular about his coffee that he always counted 60 beans each cup when he prepared his brew.
Before roasting, some green coffee beans are stored for years, and experts believe that certain beans improve with age, when stored properly.
Before the first French cafe in the late 1700’s, coffee was sold by street vendors in Europe, in the Arab fashion. The Arabs were the forerunners of the sidewalk espresso carts of today.
Brazil accounts for almost 1/3 of the world’s coffee production, producing over 3-1/3 billion pounds of coffee each year.
In 1675 Charles II, King of England issued a proclamation banning Coffee Houses. He said that they were places where people met to plot against him.
30% of coffee drinkers in US added a sweetener of some kind to their coffee, compared with 57% in UK.
October 1st is official “Coffee Day” in Japan.
Scientists have discovered more than 800 different aromatic compounds in coffee.
“The more complicated the order, the bigger the asshole. If you walk into a Starbucks and order a ‘decaf grandee, half soy, half low-fat, iced vanilla, double-shot, gingerbread cappuccino, extra dry, light ice, with one Sweet-n’-Low and one NutraSweet,’ ooooh, you’re a huge asshole.” ~ George Carlin
Black coffee with no sugar contains no calories.
Coffee represents 75% of all the caffeine consumed in the United States.
Coffee sacks are usually made of hemp and weigh approximately 132 pounds when they are full of green coffee beans. It takes over 600,000 beans to fill a coffee sack.
Coffee trees are evergreen and grow to heights above 15 feet but are normally pruned to around 8 feet in order to facilitate harvesting.
Coffee trees are self-pollinating.
Coffee trees produce highly aromatic, short-lived flowers producing a scent between jasmine and orange. These blossoms produce cranberry-sized coffee cherries. It takes four to five years to yield a commercial harvest.
75% of the world’s coffee comes from the Coffea Arabica plant.
Drinking a single cup of coffee that has been brewing for 20 minutes provides the body with 300 phytochemicals which act as antioxidants and stay in the body for up to a month.
In days gone by, Turkish bridegroom had to promise that they would always provide their new wives with coffee.
Worldwide, more 1400 millions cups of coffee are drunk every day.
This will be the final installment of the Coffee Trivia postings. I have to admit that I’ve collected enough information for a few more but I don’t want to overdue it. Possibly in the near future I’ll put together additional ones but I’ll let enough time pass so as not to bore everyone.
“That’s something that annoys the hell out of me- I mean if somebody says the coffee’s all ready and it isn’t” ― J.D. Salinger, The Catcher in the Rye
Yesterday in Coffee Trivia I I had quite a lot to say about my previous addictions as well as my fondness for coffee. Today you’ll receive more useless coffee information that I’m required to supply because of my addiction. All addictions have a downside and besides tasting wonderful so does coffee. It gives me that extra energy burst and ability to talk for long periods of time without taking a breath. Lucky you, your here for the lecture.
My love affair with coffee didn’t start at an early age like you might think. I wasn’t permitted to drink all that much coffee as a kid because my father felt it might effect my ability to play sports. Once I left for college his control over my beverage intake was finally at an end. I found coffee to be that best friend I’d been missing. The love affair began in earnest at that time and I’ve never looked back, not once. At the time I lived with five other guys in an apartment and there wasn’t a minute of the day that the coffee pot wasn’t full, steaming hot, and available for drinking. We never kept track but I can almost bet we drank more coffee than alcohol during those years and that’s saying something.
I eventually left school and enlisted in the army since the draft board was hot on my heels. For the next three years both in the United States and overseas I drank enough coffee to float a battleship. There’s nothing like Army coffee, it can almost eat the enamel right off your teeth. I won’t even begin to try and explain how the Korean’s made their coffee, it was indescribable. I also learned how to make instant coffee from C-ration packets and it sucked so bad I was forced to cut my coffee consumption in the field by 10%. For me that was a major concession.
Skipping ahead a few years and all of a sudden I’m a police officer working in a profession that is known for coffee and donuts. I was never too concerned with the donuts but I thrived on the coffee for seven years. I carried a thermos of hot coffee in the car with me and I’d stop when necessary to refill during my shift. Night shifts were another story altogether. My partner and I were never without a steaming hot coffee in the car or during our lunch stops at restaurants.
So you can see how my addiction to coffee has been the one consistent thing in my life for decades. All of my other addictions were just distractions but my love of coffee remains constant and still does. So let’s get this show on the road. I thought I knew a lot about coffee but I really had no clue. Some of these facts are humorous and some aren’t but they’re all interesting. I’ve found so much information on coffee I may be forced to increase the number of Coffee Trivia postings to four or five.
Flavored coffees are created after the roasting process by applying flavored oils specially created to use on coffee beans.
Frederick the great had his coffee made with champagne and a bit of mustard.
Hard Bean means the coffee was grown at an altitude above 5000 feet.
Hawaii is the only state of the United States in which coffee is commercially grown. Hawaii features an annual Kona Festival, coffee picking contest. Each year the winner becomes a state celebrity. In Hawaii coffee is harvested between November and April.
The Nicaraguan Margogpipe is the largest of all coffee beans.
It takes 40 coffee beans to make an espresso.
One coffee tree yields less than half a kilo of coffee per year.
A coffee tree lives for between 60 and 70 years.
By 1850, the manual coffee grinder found its way to most upper middle class kitchens of the U.S.
Coffee is the second most traded commodity in the world (oil is the first.)
“It is inhumane, in my opinion, to force people who have a genuine medical need for coffee to wait in line behind people who apparently view it as some kind of recreational activity.” ― Dave Barry
Brazil produces around 40% of the world’s coffee supply.
A Belgian named George Washington invented instant coffee in 1906.
Coffee has been used as a beverage for over 700 years.
Coffee as a medicine reached its highest and lowest point in the 1600’s in England. Wild medical contraptions to administer a mixture of coffee and an assortment of heated butter, honey, and oil, became treatments for the sick. Soon tea replaced coffee as the national beverage.
Coffee beans are similar to grapes that produce wine in that they are affected by the temperature, soil conditions, altitude, rainfall, drainage and degree of ripeness when picked.
“There are three intolerable things in life – cold coffee, lukewarm champagne, and overexcited women…” ― Orson Welles
Brewed espresso has 2.5% fat, while filtered coffee contains 0.6% fat.
Johan Sebastian Bach wrote an opera about a woman who was addicted to coffee.
There is a way to brew coffee with marijuana in it and it is described as producing a “dreamy” kind of coffee buzz.
More than 20 million people worldwide, work in the coffee industry.
There are two species of coffee plant: Arabica and Robusta.
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