I’m going to introduce you today to a man who was famous for writing limericks, Mr. David McCord. He was also a philanthropist, writer, and poet who held honorary degrees from 22 universities. He was famous for his work in teaching children to write poetry. This first limerick is a short instruction on who to structure a limerick.
David McCord
The limerick’s lively to write:
Five lines to it – all nice and tight.
Two long ones, two trick
Little short ones, then quick
As a flash here’s the last one in sight.
There are 13 limericks published over fifty years ago and were Mr. McCord’s attempt to explain and teach how to write a limerick. Here are the first four. I’ll post a few each day until the entire collection is in your hands. Maybe they will encourage you to write a few of your own.
There once was a scarecrow named Joel
Who couldn’t scare crows, save his soul.
But the crows put the scare
Into Joel. He’s not there
Anymore. That’s his hat on the pole.
💥💥💥
“There was an old man” of wherever
You like, thus the limerick never
Accounts for the young:
You will find him unsung
Whether stupid, wise, foolish, or clever.
A Rare Non-Dirty Nantucket Limerick
There was a young man let me say,
Of West Pumpkinville, Maine, USA.
You tell me there’s not
Such a place? Thanks a lot.
I forget what he did anyway.
💥💥💥
Take the curious case of Tom Pettigrew
And Hetty, his sister. When Hettigrew
As tall as a tree
She came just to Tom’s knee.
And did Tom keep on growing? You bettigrew.
That’s lesson number one for today. If you read them carefully, he gives excellent rhyming tips and how exactly to structure the limerick. More to follow tomorrow.
“Great art is more than a transient refreshment. It is something which adds to the permanent richness of the soul’s self-attainment. It justifies itself both by its immediate enjoyment, and also by its discipline of the inmost being. Its discipline is not distinct from enjoyment but by reason of it. It transforms the soul into the permanent realization of values extending beyond its former self.”
Facing mandatory retirement in London, and upon being offered an appointment at Harvard, Whitehead moved to the United States in 1924. Given his prior training in mathematics, it was sometimes joked that the first philosophy lectures he ever attended were those he himself delivered in his new role as Professor of Philosophy.
I’m a huge fan of all things weird and unusual. The odder the better. I do know that many people who read my posts sometimes question the information I provide. I won’t say what I’m thinking but “KMA” immediately comes to mind. Anyone who lives with, near, or is part of the human race should realize that the weirder the facts, the more likely they are true. This is a weird, strange and odd planet and no one should be surprised by anything. Here’s my contribution for today.
Hippopotamus sweat is pink. It’s a combination of clear sweat and reddish hipposudoric acid secreted by the hippo. It helps protect them from sunburn and harmful bacteria.
Killer whales eat deer. It’s been reported in Alaska that deer are sometimes snatched by the orca’s when they attempt to take a dip in the water.
Thousands of human beings travel thousands of miles in the Fall to watch leaves die. Weird? Yes. True? Yes.
Bananas are technically berries. Strawberries and raspberries are not.
An average size human being could swim through the veins of a blue whale. The average whale’s heart is the size of a car.
Although the earth is 70% water, just 1% of it is considered drinkable.
Algae and plankton produce more oxygen than trees.
There are more trees on earth than there are stars in the Milky Way. Astronomers estimate that there are approximately 200-400 billion stars in the Milky Way, while scientists say the Earth contains 3 trillion trees.
Marijuana and the hops in your beer come from the same plant family. The Cannabaceae family also contains plants known as hackberries.
Samuel L. Jackson once held Martin Luther King Sr. hostage. During his college days, Jackson was part of a group that held the Morehead College Board of Trustees hostage. MLK Sr. was one of them.
When I’m writing this blog, I continuously edit myself because I make tons of errors in spelling and grammar. It concerns me only because I don’t care to look like a moron when I’m posting some of my material. I wish I could say the same for everyone, but I can’t. As I read through my research material, I continually find mistakes, obvious mistakes, that have made it through three levels of editors and finally published and released to the public. It boggles my mind some of the things I’ve read in recent weeks and I’m going to share some of them with you now. It still amazes me how people rely on newspapers and their alleged accuracy. It’s time for some really stupid headlines.
Police Suspicious After Body Found in a Graveyard
Male infertility Can Be Passed on to Children
Iraq Head Seeks Arms
Plane Too Close to Ground, Crash Probe
Two Convicts Evade Noose, Jury Hung
Can you believe this stuff? I can’t. Now I want to move on to some other things that I’ve noticed on websites like Craigslist. It’s apparent to me that editing is not permitted on these sites and here’s the results:
Free Yorkshire Terrier: eight years old. Unpleasant little dog.
Georgia Peaches – California grown -$.89 per pound
Joining nudist colony, must sell washer and dryer – $300
Wanted: 50 girls for stripping machine operators in factory.
Dog for sale: Eats anything and is fond of children.
That’s about enough for me. As Ron White always says, “You can’t fix stupid”.
I’m normally not one to celebrate holidays on this blog but I think celebrating the 4th of July is important. So let me climb up on my “soap box” for a few minutes. I’m a former vet who enlisted in the army in the 60’s and served two and a half years overseas. It changed my life forever, for the better I might add. Independence Day is celebrated as the day we forced our independence on the Brits. Without servicemen that would never would have happened. I celebrate this day by honoring the men and women who served this country in the past and the men and women of the future.
For the last 4 days I’ve been watching a Netflix special called Dateline World War II. The program is 80 short episodes chronicling the war from the 1930’s to the final day with the surrender of Japan. This documentary is a collection of films taken by photographers from both the Allies and the Axis countries. It’s impossible to spend this many hours and see the murderous, hateful, destruction and loss of life without being affected. Numerous times while I was bingeing the series I had to stop and to take a time out. I made it through the 80 episodes in 5 days and have an even greater appreciation of this country than before.
For those generations like mine that came into existence because of World War II (the baby boomers), it’s a reminder of what our parents and their generation went through to ensure our independence. I come from a proud family that had a grandfather seriously injured in France during WW I, my father and uncle serving on destroyer escorts fighting U-Boats to get supplies to England in WW II, and I’m the third generation.
I would hope some of our generation and members of the generations that followed would take the time to watch this documentary. It’s hard to know where your country’s headed unless you have some idea of where it’s been.
ENJOY YOUR INDEPENDENCE – WE’VE PAID A HEAVY PRICE TO KEEP IT
As always, I offer up more questionable poetry. Some people like this style and some do not. To me that makes for what I call “bad poetry”. If everyone loves and understands it, then it’s “good poetry”.
😞❤️😞
I rush down the highway of my life. Hoping that things I need and desire, will follow. To feel, see and experience, the love, hate and strife. Hear words that mean something and nothing, hollow.
The need to experience and taste it remains key. The search for the reverse of me continues, can never cease. Passing years and people have changed how I am able to see. My mysterious other self demands fairness, the ultimate release.
A quantity known but not known comes to me after flirting. Near hopes end a miracle occurs and love blossoms, smell the flowers. Feel intense love, caring and gentleness, no more hurting. That for which we all search is now mine and hers, ours.
The years of love and caring release me from my chains. My life quest finally realized, my soul with its mate. Melting together, love and tenderness growing my heart can’t explain. My lover has taught me, what counts is love, not hate.
YOU’VE JUST RECEIVED YOUR DAILY DOSE OF BLAHHHHHHHH!
Hipsterism seems to be a subculture primarily identified by pretentious and what they think is trendy fashion. Oh yeah, don’t forget their obsession for beards and moustaches of all sorts (guys only). If you like skinny jeans, vintage clothes, indie and alternative music, then you’re likely to be labeled a hipster. To some that term isn’t complimentary but just a sarcastic description.
In general, I have no problem with stepping outside the box to become rebellious in an interesting way. I also think that their interests in the gentrification of many of our urban areas is drastically needed. Hipsters appear to have been given a bad rap by many and accused of being fake in their so-called rebellion.
I’d like to address that criticism because it’s coming from generations of hippies, goth’s, punk rockers, New Agers, Steam Punkers, Grungers, Beatniks, and LGBTIQI’s. It’s time to let the hipsters have their moment in the spotlight. Everyone knows that just as all of these other subcultures, hipsters will have their place in history. Twenty years from now the next few countercultures will find themselves being compared by their parents and grandparents, to the hipster movement. Diversity rules in all things whether we all like it or not. Live your life and let the hipsters have their moment.
HOW BORING THINGS WOULD BE IF WE WERE ALL THE SAME
A few weeks ago, I posted about some language oddities called malaprops. To quote a reader who responded to that post, “Those things are like fingernails on a blackboard to me.” So, I thought today would be a good day to run some fingernails over that same blackboard, just for the fun of it. This time I’ll give you a list of malaprops written by grade schoolers, high schoolers, and a few college geniuses. I hope you enjoy them as much as I did.
Louis Pasteur discovered a cure for rabbis.
The walls of Notre Dame Cathedral are supported by flying buttocks.
Sir Francis Drake circumcised the world with a 100-foot clipper.
Moses led the Hebrew slaves to the Red Sea, where they made unleavened bread, which is bread made without any ingredients.
People have sex, while nouns have genders.
Christmas is a time for happiness for every child, adult, and adulteress.
Most words are easy to spell once you get the letters write.
The bowels are a, e, i, o, u, and sometimes y.
The climate of the Sahara Desert is so hot that certain areas are cultivated by irritation.
The United States Constitution was adopted to secure domestic hostility.
A few weeks ago, I promised you limerick lovers some really bawdy and rude limericks. I have quite a collection of those, but I hesitate to post them because it would be really bad if any children were to read them. I recently bought a book from an online thrift store which contains 1001 of the rudest limericks I’ve ever seen. I’m still considering whether to post any of them or at least try to find a few that are a little less objectionable.
Just to give you some idea what I’m talking about I thought I would regale you with an erotic poem written by the author of the book, Mr. Ronald Stanza. This little ditty was copied directly from the rear page of his book cover. Good luck.
❤️
Here now is a steamy collection
Of limericks rare. Each selection
Will run for five lines,
Contain marvelous rhymes –
Detailing sex acts of subtle complexion.
🤤🤤🤤
Though often the rhyming is coarse
And the meter is ragged, or worse.
Positions are randy
The sex is jim-dandy
In this book of libidinous verse.
😋😋😋
Some readers may think that it’s crude
To offer for sale what is lewd
But if you’re offended
By what is appended.
We’ll say what you are: you’re a prude!
😏😏😏
For others the thought of an organ
Of sex is a scream. And it’s sure fun
To peep and to poke
And make sex a joke.
If a fault, it’s delightfully human!
🍆🍆🍆🍆🍆
The more I read this little ditty the more I like it. A special thanks goes out to Mr. Ronald Stanza for his fine work. I’ll let you know about the final decision on the week of lewd limericks in a few days, but it isn’t looking good.
I always enjoy looking back at my life and learning things I either never knew or have forgotten. Recently I obtained some literature from the year 1940. That’s a long time ago and I can appreciate that since I was born only six years later. Let’s see what 1940 had to offer its citizens.
Local dime stores were the place to be as a child. Candy and soda pop were the favorites.
Newspaper headline from January: OSKAR SHINDLER BEGINS PROVIDING REFUGE FOR KRAKOW JEWS
Jack Nicklaus was born on January 21st.
Formal dancing, accompanied by the sounds of the big bands of the day, was a great way to conclude a celebrative event.
The Philadelphia Story and Fantasia were the top box office hits. One of Disney’s first animated hits, Pinocchio, was released as a feature-length film.
Tom Brokaw, Ted Koppel, and Fran Tarkington were all born in February.
The use of telephones was in its infancy. Party lines were shared lines and kept everyone in the loop, as those online could quietly listen to any conversations at hand.
Winston Churchill became the Prime Minister of Great Britain.
On May 15, 1940, the first nylon stockings went on sale.
The state of New York hosted the World’s Fair at Flushing Meadows.
On November 7, 1940, the Tacoma Narrows bridge collapsed into the water. The only casualty was a dog sadly left in the car as its owner fled.
FDR was president, the population of the United States was at 132 million, and the average salary for a full-time employee was $1200 a year. The minimum wage was $.30 an hour.
The first McDonald’s restaurant opened on May 15, 1940, in San Bernardino California.
On January 31, 1940, Ida M. Fuller became the first American citizen to receive a Social Security check.
Bread was $.08 a loaf, bacon $.27 a pound, eggs $.33 a dozen, milk $.26 a gallon, coffee $.21 a pound, gasoline $.11 a gallon, a movie ticket was $.24, postage stamps were $ $.03’s, average cars costs $990, and the cost for a single-family home on average was $2938.
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