Well, it’s Sunday and the Steeler game has been canceled until Monday due to weather concerns. It’s a little annoying but not all that surprising for anyone who’s ever been in Buffalo during the winter. In my previous life as a regional manager for a national chain I was assigned stores in Buffalo and Niagara Falls. I swear to God that every time I made a trip there during the winter, I ended up getting snowed in and spending an extra day or two in order to give the citizens time to clean up the snow, open the roads, and allow me to fly the hell out of there. Buffalo is a nice town (sarcasm) but not a place I’d like to spend any extra time in. I’ve been to Niagara Falls and unfortunately if you’ve seen one waterfall you’ve seen them all. With that being said and since my day has been interrupted, I thought I’d get a little silly. Everyone seems to love the limericks I post so I offer you a few odd ball limericks today. These are tongue twister limericks written by a gentleman named Lou Brooks in 2009 in a book of the same name. Enjoy . . .
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Nosy Rose got closed in a closet of clothes,
The clothes closet closed on Rose’s red rosy nose,
She tweaked on her beak,
For over a week,
Rose’s nosy red nose now hangs close to her toes.
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Walt walked and talked on his wife’s walkie-talkie,
Walt’s wife’s walkie-talkie made Walt’s talky-talk squawky.
Wide awake while Walt walked,
Was what Walt was while he talked,
While Walt’s wife walked her way to Milwaukee.
Two of these should be sufficient. Trying to get a computer program to type these as I speak is ridiculous. Here’s a description of my day in a nutshell.
The internet has become famous for anonymous facts claiming to be true as well and out-and-out fake news and scams of all kinds. Here are ten facts that are surprising and amazingly TRUE.
More tickets were sold to see the movie Gone With the Wind in theaters than people living in America at its release.
John Lennon signed the official paperwork formalizing the split of the Beatles while staying at a Disney World hotel.
Yoda from the movie Star Wars, cookie monster from Sesame Street, and Miss Piggy from the Muppet Show were all voiced by the same person.
The leading role in the movie Forrest Gump was originally offered to John Travolta.
Leonardo DiCaprio didn’t draw the sketch of Kate Winslet in Titanic, but director James Cameron did.
Gene Roddenberry originally wanted Patrick Stewart to wear a wig for his iconic Star Trek role as Captain Jean-Luc Picard.
Stephen Spielberg submitted Schindler’s List as his final project for film school.
Brad Pitt’s first acting gig was dressing up as a giant chicken.
The NFL, NBA, and MLB have all had one player win the championship MVP while playing for the losing team.
Violet Jessop was the one passenger who was aboard both the Titanic and its sister ship the Britannic when they were sunk.
As the title suggests here are a few humorous stories and one gratuitous limerick. They’re all pearls of wisdom and I hope they help make you a little wiser. Here goes . . .
Once Yogi Berra, in his younger days, was in a batting slump. The manager felt this was because he was swinging at too many bad pitches. He therefore called Yogi to one side during a slow day in the schedule and gave him an intensive course in judging incoming baseball to determine whether they were outside the strike zone. Yogi’s batting promptly grew even worse, he said “It’s this judging of balls. I just can’t hit and think at the same time.”
And here’s a limerick for all of you aficionados:
To moralists, sex is a sin
Yet Nature suggests we begin.
She arranged it, no doubt,
That a fellow juts out
In the place where a damsel juts in.
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A friend of mine was on a plane. It had achieved a high and steady flight and was set on autopilot. The pilot stretched, yawned, and said, “What I need now is a cup of coffee and a blow job. “What the pilot didn’t know was that the public address system was still on, and his words were heard throughout the plane. A stewardess hurriedly ran forward to the cockpit to tell the pilot to shut off the PA system before he committed any further indiscretions. As she ran by, an elderly female passenger yelled out, “Don’t forget, honey. He wants coffee, too.”
Julius Caesar was once asked what kind of death was the best. He gave the best conceivable answer, for he said, “A sudden one.” Unfortunately for Caesar he was assassinated the next day – suddenly.
An irate woman once told Winston Churchill, when he was a young man and temporarily sporting a small mustache, “Young man, I like neither your politics nor your mustache.” To which Churchill replied, “Madam, you are not likely to come into contact with either.”
I seem to be on a sports mission this week even though I’m not a devoted sports fan. Fortunately, or unfortunately I have a family member who is a professional sports analyst and as I watch him a lot of sports information and misinformation has made its way into my brain. I then decided to look for some of the more obscure and interesting facts about baseball that you may never have heard before. I think you’ll find them interesting.
Abner Doubleday
Though a U. S. Army officer, Abner Doubleday, is generally hailed as having invented baseball at Cooperstown, New York, in 1839. Games called baseball, embodying the idea of hitting a ball and running bases were mentioned in English publications as early as 1744 and later in America 14 years before the Declaration of Independence.
During the baseball rivalries between the two major leagues in the 1890’s, the Pittsburgh Nationals, taking advantage of a technicality, signed a player from another club. For that reason, the Nationals president, J. Palmer O’Neill, and his club later became known as the Pittsburgh Pirates
Hugh L. Daily
Between 1882 and 1887, Hugh L. Daily played second base, shortstop, and pitched for several major league baseball teams. As a pitcher, he won 74 games, including a no-hitter, and he registered a long-standing record of striking out 19 batters in a game. Not bad for a man with only one arm.
The first formal rules for playing baseball required the winning team to score 21 runs.
Hoyt Wilhelm
The famous knuckleball baseball pitcher Hoyt Wilhelm hit a homerun in his very first time at bat in the major leagues, and never hit another in more than 400 times at bat in a 20-year career. In his second season, he hit a triple and never had another, and two doubles and hit only one more of them. His career batting average was .088.
Ty Cobb
Ty Cobb, of the Detroit Tigers played slightly more than a score of baseball seasons in the American League. He banged out 4,191 hits and posted a lifetime batting average of .367.
To boost attendance, the St. Louis Browns of the American League signed up a midget in the 1951 season. Eddie Gaedel was 3’7″ tall and wore uniform number 1/8th. He went to bat only once, in a game against the Detroit Tigers, and walked on four pitches. Midgets are now banned by the major leagues.
Babe Ruth
For 62 years, baseball’s greatest slugger, Babe Ruth, alone held the record (nine) for pitching the most one-season shutouts in the American League. In 1978 he became the co-holder, with Ron Guidry, of the record.
Growing up I was expected to play as much sports as possible by my ever so athletic father. I completed one year of varsity basketball which I absolutely hated and two years of football which ended with my being unconscious on the sidelines after being drilled by a rather large and muscular defensive player. Baseball was always my main thing, and I began playing at seven years of age and played until I went off to college. Unfortunately for me the college I attended had no baseball team and that really pissed me off as well. I had many coaches throughout the years and was required to sit and listen to endless “pep talks” prior to our games and endless criticisms if and when we lost. There were only one or two coaches who actually took the time to create and deliver a pep talk that accomplished what they wanted. A few others believed in blatant terrorism and threats to help motivate us to a victory. Today’s post is a short story about some real coaches with real methods that showed real results.
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Coaches use all kinds of psychology to lift the spirits of their players. Notre Dame football coach Knute Rockne once refused to sit with his team in the second half of a game. He sat up in the stands, which got the team so fired up they went out onto the field and wonthe game.
One of the most unusual pep talks was delivered by coach Dana X. Bible during the Indiana-Nebraska football game of 1936. Nebraska was losing, 9-0, at halftime. Coach Bible looked scornfully around the dressing room and berated the players unmercifully. “You don’t have the desire to win!” he thundered. “You don’t have the courage to fight back!” Then he said, “The first eleven players who go out that door will start the second half and the rest of you will sit on the bench.” Immediately, the fired-up team jumped to their feet trying to quickly reach the door. But Bible got there first and barred the way. “That’s not good enough,” he snarled. “You’re not ready to win.” A slugging match followed with teammates who really liked each other pushing and shoving, and then scrambling for the door. It became a free-for-all but finally, eleven players managed to squirm through. Bible immediately put those eleven on the field and they beat Indiana 14-9.
I’m a bit of a history lover but that usually involves old history like the Romans, Egyptians, and the Greeks. Today I thought I’d go into the past back to 1940. That’s well before my time and I’m pretty sure there aren’t many people left who were born in 1940. I’m also sure you’ve heard many people say it was always better back in “the good old days.”, so let’s find out.
The top three radio shows of 1940 were The Adventures of Ellery Queen, Edgar Bergen and Charlie McCarthy, and Fibber McGee and Molly. I wonder if they were appreciated by their audience as much as some of the TV shows are today.
1940 was also the first and only year for the production of the Mercury 8, a new model car. Also available was the Chevrolet Special Deluxe Sport Sedan, the new Ford V-8, and the Buick Super Model 51 Four-Door Sedan.
It was the year of the World’s Fair held at Flushing Meadows-Corona Park in New York and was the largest world’s fair at that time.
Because of the war there were shortages of many things but one of the first new items to return to the stores was a new product, nylon stockings. They went on sale for the first time on May 15, 1940.
The 1940 college football season ended with the University of Minnesota Golden Gophers being named the national champions and Stanford in second place. The Heisman Trophy winner was Michigan halfback Tom Harmon. In the National Football League, the Chicago Bears defeated the Washington Redskins 73-0 in one of the most one-sided games in professional football history.
Here some facts and figures of 1940. The president of the United States was Franklin D. Roosevelt, and the vice president was John Nance Garner. The population of the United States was 132,122,000, and the average salary for a full-time employee was $1200. per year. The minimum wage per hour was $.30.
On May 15, 1940, the first McDonald’s restaurant is opened in San Bernardino, California by brothers Dick and Mac McDonald.
On January 31, 1940, Ida M. Fuller became the first American citizen to receive a Social Security check. Her first check was for $22.54.
On January 17, 1940, Eleanor Roosevelt publicly endorsed birth control in a statement that she was not against the “planning of children”.
Now let’s get down to the important stuff. Here are the average costs for many of their everyday foodstuffs and we can only wish to have these prices back again. A loaf of bread was $.08, a pound of bacon was $.27, a dozen eggs was $.33, a gallon of milk was $.26, 1 pound of coffee was $.21, gasoline was $.11 per gallon, postage stamps were .03, the average car cost was $990.00, and a single-family home averaged just $2938.00.
Being a lover of baseball, I enjoy every facet of the game. That includes some of the craziest and outrageous quotes when these superstars and broadcasters step up to the microphone. Yogi Berra was made famous by his confusing and hilarious quips, but he isn’t alone. Here are a few quotes that will make you smile a little and hopefully laugh out loud a lot.
“Well, I see in the game in Minnesota thar Terry Felton has relieved himself on the mound in the second inning.” Fred White, sportscaster for the Kansas City Royals
Folks, this is perfect weather for today’s game. Not a breath of fresh air. Curt Gowdy, sportscaster
All I said was that the trades were stupid and dumb, and they took that and blew it all out of proportion. Ron Davis, Minnesota Twins pitcher
If Jesus were on the field, he’d be pitching inside and breaking up double plays. He’d be high fiving the other guys. Tim Burke, Montral Expo pitcher
I am throwing twice as hard as I ever did. It’s just not getting there as fast. Lefty Gomez, NY Yankee pitcher
I prefer fast food. Rocky Bridges, infielder, when asked why he wouldn’t eat snails
Always root for the winner. That way you won’t be disappointed. Tug McGraw
Raise the urinals. Darrel Chaney,Braves infielder, on how to keep the team on it’s toes
I lost it in the sun. Billy Loes, Brooklyn pitcher, after fumbling a grounder
Sometimes they write what I say and not what I mean. Pedro Guerrero, NL infielder and outfielder
I thought on this rainy day we should revisit some retro baseball stories. These are two of my favorites and one of the many reasons I love baseball so much. The first story is something that was called The Five-Base Hit. The second is a story about a debt owed to Albert “Chief” Bender, an old-time pitcher. I hope you enjoy them.
Strange things happen in professional baseball, but even stranger things can happen in amateur sandlot ball. Harry Hardner was involved in one of the most peculiar plays possible in baseball.
Hardner’s Walnut Street team played on a field in Milwaukee that had no fences. No matter how far the ball was hit, it was in play until the pitcher had it back in his glove. In one game Hardner got a fat pitch and drove it far over the outfielder’s head. Hardner raced around the bags happily.
Just as Hardner crossed the plate, a teammate who was coaching at first base began shouting, “Run to first! “Run to first! The teammate and the opponent’s first baseman noticed that Hardner had failed to touch first on his way around the base paths.
Tired as he was, Hardner took off for first base again just as the ball came in from the outfield. He slid hard into the bag just as the throw arrived. The umpire called him safe. He was given credit for just a single. But his teammates always called it a five-base hit.
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One of baseball’s greatest pitchers was an Indian named Albert “Chief” Bender, who pitched for the Philadelphia Athletics and Phillies. Bender won 208 games in the majors, but his own favorite story concerned a game he lost as a bush-leaguer. In 1901 Bender agreed to pitch his first professional game for the Dillsburg, Pennsylvania, team. He was to be paid five dollars. Even Bender had to laugh when he saw where the game would be played. It was a hayfield, with a cabbage patch in the outfield. Bender himself hit a home run into the cabbage patch, but he lost the game in the 10th inning. Afterward the manager handed the “Chief” $3.20 and said “we don’t have enough money. I’ll give you the rest the next time I see you.” 41 years later the “Chief” was being interviewed by Ed Pollock a reporter for the Philadelphia Bulletin. Bender recited the story and surprise, surprise, a few days later a letter and small canvas bag reached the Bulletin. The letter read in part:
Dear Sir: In going over our records we have an outstanding amount due you from the summer of 1901. Not knowing your whereabouts nor having seen you for all these years, we were unable to remit. The cabbages were harvested and sold later that year, giving us a small surplus. We are enclosing the money reserved for you.
In the canvas bag was a three-cent piece with the date 1864, a two-cent piece, two dimes dated 1875, 23 nickels, and 40 Indian-head pennies. The change added up to a $1.80, the exact amount Bender was owed. But the Dillsburg team was really being generous. The coins were very rare and worth a great deal more than their face value.
Being a lover of baseball for most of my life I try to find unusual stories in a game that has been around forever. In most sports you see some games that are considered “tied” with overtime then ordered and special rules making it rather annoying at times. I decided to find out if there ever was truly a tied game in professional baseball. Believe it or not I found that game and coincidentally it involves my home team the Pittsburgh Pirates. Here’s the story.
On August 13, 1910, the Pittsburgh Pirates played the Brooklyn Dodgers. After nine innings the game was tied, but darkness stopped play. The nine inning statistics showed that each team had scored eight runs on 13 hits and committed two errors. Both clubs had sent 38 men to the plate, both sets of fielders were credited with 27 putouts and 12 assists. There were five strikeouts recorded against each team, and each side had given up three walks. It was the evenest game ever played.
Many things occurred in the early years of baseball and were funny and ridiculous at times. Sometimes the players were funny and just as many times the managers were even funnier. Here’s a story from the 1880’s concerning the antics of Brooklyn club president Charles R Byrnes.
What happens when the team doesn’t like one of their own players? Pitcher Johnny “Phenomenal” Smith of Brooklyn found out that it doesn’t pay to be too cocky. Smith was a rookie, and he boasted about his skills at every opportunity. On June 17, 1885, when Smith was pitching, his teammates decided to teach him a valuable lesson. They committed 20 errors, and the Brooklyn team was defeated, 18-5. Phenomenal Smith was angry, but Brooklyn club president Charles Byrnes was even angrier. He threatened to fire every player on the team if they tried such a stunt again. The following day Brooklyn won the game and committed no errors. That’s what I call a serious pep talk.
I thought today I’d touch on sports again since it’s that time of the year when so many sport finals are being played. I thought I’d start off with a little tidbit on basketball, a sport that I’m not all that crazy about. I have a grandson who is absolutely nuts for basketball, so this is in his honor and anyone else that loves the sport as much he does.
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How far does a basketball player run during a game? The distance can vary greatly, but some years ago Ben Peck, a coach at Middlebury, Vermont, decided to find out. He put pedometers on the feet of all of his players. Here are the results:Overall, his team traveled a total of 24.01 miles, 11.97 in the first half and 12.04 in the second half. Forward Fred Lapham ran the farthest, 5.31 miles. The other forward, Tom Neidhart, covered 5.14 miles. Center Bob Adsit ran 4.25 miles. The guards averaged 2.66 miles each.
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Now Back to Baseball.
In 1876 a pitcher named Joe Borden of Boston Hurled the first no-hitter in the history of the National League. But Borden couldn’t leave well enough alone. Soon after the game he changed his style of pitching and began to lose his stuff. Borden went steadily downhill, and by the end of the season he was no longer a pitcher – he was the club’s groundskeeper.
Many pitchers have gone into the ninth inning working on a no-hitter, only to see it spoiled. On April 7, 1918, Odis “Doc” Crandall of the Los Angeles Angels had a perfect game going against Salt Lake City. With two out in the ninth inning, not a man had reached base. Then Doc’s brother, Karl Crandall, came to bat. He dumped a dinky base hit just over the infielders’ heads. This is the only case on record where a pitcher’s no-hitter was broken up by his own brother.
One of the most famous of all poems is “Casey at the Bat”, which was written by Ernest Thayer. It has been read by millions and recited by dozens of actors. In the poem, Casey, a great slugger, comes to bat with his team behind in the ninth inning. There are two outs and runners on base. Casey can win the game with a home run but unfortunately strikes out. A great deal is known about Casey’s team from Mudville. The poem names and describes the four batters ahead of Casey – Cooney, Barrows, Flynn and Jimmy Blake. The poet didn’t pay much attention to the other team, however. The pitcher who faced down “the Mighty Casey” and struck him out was never given a name.
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