Archive for the ‘Useless Crap’ Category
Are you a real movie fan? Do you prefer old movies or do you wait patiently for the new ones to arrive. For most of my life I was an occasional movie watcher but it was never something all that important to me. I never went out of my way to spend money or my time in searching out movies to watch. It wasn’t until cable TV came into it’s own with the Turner Classic Movie Network that I discovered how much I’d missed and in more cases what I was glad I missed.
What I did discover was that going to movie theaters and paying the big prices was no longer all that necessary. One of my pet peeves has always been people who refuse to shut up while in a movie theater. On many occasions I found myself exchanging rather harsh words with a few of those ignorant individuals who obviously had no respect for other moviegoers. The result of those incidents have kept me from almost all movie theaters ever since. The up-side to that is I’m able to watch many more movies than I normally would have in the privacy of my home without any annoying interruptions. For me it’s worth waiting a few extra months until a movie goes to DVD where I can then watch it at home and truly enjoy it.
We’ve all had those times watching movies where we’ve been touched by a scene that was so well done and meaningful that we’ll remember it forever. In recent years I’ve become much more of a movie aficionado that I ever thought I could. There are thousands of movies available from all genres but unfortunately only a small percentage are worth seeing more than once. With all of the TV channels and other resources the number of movies readily available for viewing is almost unlimited.
I’ve also discovered that certain movies have stuck with me in a more permanent way. There are a certain few movies that I can sit and watch over and over again and enjoy them just as much as the first time I saw them. These special movies are few in number and from different genres and aren’t dependent on any specific actor or actress. If I see one of them listed or I chance upon one accidentally, any other programs are immediately forgotten and I begin watching it again. It’s like spending time with an old friend. Here’s my top ten list in no particular order of importance.
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Ben-Hur
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Young Frankenstein
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Avatar
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The Shootist
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Under Siege
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Notting Hill
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Star Wars (The First Movie)
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The Shooter
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Robin Hood (With Errol Flynn)
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Star Trek – The Voyage Home
There appears to be no rhyme or reason for that list and no other common denominators I can find. I own many of them on DVD and have been known to sneak away if I have an hour or two of quiet time to just sit and enjoy. I appreciate them more each year because they help me forget the hundreds and hundreds of really bad movies that the cable stations continue to play over and over again.
Stick me on a desert island with my 100 favorite books and these movies and you’ll never see my fat ass again.
I had a hour of free time today so I decided to take a trip down memory lane. My better-half has gotten it into her head to do a little redecorating of the house. She’s started using one of my own favorite terms against me, "think outside the box." I’ve been trying for years to convince her to leave her comfort zone and use her creative abilities and now I’m afraid I may have created a monster.
For years I’ve gone through creative periods myself and produced art works that are considered unusual by some and well "outside the box" to others. Many of those pieces were discarded as I moved from place to place over the years and I regret that. Fortunately, many others I did save and have been moving them around with me for decades.
After I moved into this house I laid claim to a very small and unused room where I now store many of these pieces. My better-half has requested that I look through the room for anything interesting she could use in her redecorating efforts. I began today by slowing pulling out each piece to determine condition and suitability. It was like a really weird trip down memory lane. As I looked at each piece the exact memories of when it was made come rushing back. I was able to remember people and places I thought I’d forgotten. I was very surprised just how quickly and vividly those memories came rushing back. I guess it’s my own version of a poor man’s time travel machine. It appears to be true that the brain keeps all of our experiences stored away in it’s attic awaiting retrieval.
One of my most involved projects took me years to complete. It was a series of twenty collages varying in size from a few inches to four feet in length. These collages contain tidbits of my life that I began saving when I enlisted in the Army. They contain bits and pieces of my life collected over many years with photos of old friends, , family, love letters, newspaper articles, mementos, and just about anything else you can think of. The entire project was called " My Life Panels".
I spent almost all of my time yesterday just sitting and reading these panels, seeing forgotten old friends, and remembering details of my rather interesting life. I’ll have to continue this process at a later time because today I’ve become totally distracted. It might be easier and go a little quicker if I have my better-half involved. She’s always had the ability to keep me from becoming too sidetracked.
I can look back now and thank myself for a job well done. I truthfully never expected the day to come when I’d be using the panels in this way. I think I did good.
I must be losing my touch. As I’ve always made clear to one and all, I hate shopping. I also realize that a certain amount of it must take place whether I like it or not. I’ve slowly developed over the years into a standard male shopper as described on many occasions by women. First I determine what I need, then I look at the cost, then I travel to where it’s available, and then purchase it. Not much fooling around or standing in the aisles trying to decide about the color, size, and price. I do that before I get there, buy the thing, and get the hell out of there.
Many men have been criticized many times for this kind of shopping by our female counterparts. They seem to think that any way but their way was somehow incorrect. It’s useless to argue with them because as well as being the all-time best shoppers, they’re also always right about everything. It’s a heavy burden to bear but they manage to pull it off perfectly. Just ask any women and she’ll explain it to you in great, great detail.
I have been searching for a certain product for what seems like forever and I’m at my wits end. I’ve searched on-line and found dozens of the item but at a cost that is ridiculous once the shipping and handling charges are added in. Once on-line shopping was eliminated as a possibility I proceeded to find a local vendor for what I hoped would be a cheaper price. I’ve talked to a number of them so far with no luck. I thought by buying local I could eliminate the shipping expenses and still get a decent price. I couldn’t have been more wrong.
All I’m looking for is an simple 18 inch glass circle at least one quarter inch thick. I guess the simpler an item is the more difficult it can be to find. That makes no sense to me but it appears to be the reality of my situation. With each negative result I’m slowly being pushed into considering a method of shopping I’m not all that comfortable with, flea markets and yard sales.
For more than a few years I’ve been included in my better-half’s shopping forays into hundreds of garages and homes in southern Maine as she digs through the cast off items of their owners. I’ve always been a little put off by that but she seems to thrive on it. To me it’s like shopping at a Goodwill retail store. I have serious issues with shopping anywhere where a lot of my own things may be for sale. It’s just creepy.
I visited a few of the big box stores today with no luck. They’ll sell you a square piece of glass in a second but ask for a round piece and it’s like the end of the world. They get that stupid look on their faces and begin their song and dance on why they don’t have them available. I also visited a number of other retailers and again had no luck. My last resort was a local glass company who advertises every kind of glass known to man and they’ll cut it to order. On-line I would have been charged approximately $25.00 for the item and an additional $23.00 to ship it. This local retailer offered me what he considers to be his best deal. I can have my simple piece of 18 inch glass for a mere pittance, $51.00.
I have that nagging suspicion in the back of my mind that I’m being manipulated. The bottom line for me is this. I’m not paying fifty bucks for an eighteen inch piece of glass regardless of the seller. I didn’t think it could happen but I’m left without a solution to my problem. My better-half must be subconsciously laughing her ass off because she already knows I’ll be requesting her help in finding this thing. I see thousands of other people’s things in other people’s garages that I’ll be forced to paw through in my search for this piece of glass.
Ugh!
You are disgusting! I wish I had a dollar for ever time someone has said that to me. Normally it’s a women who has been raised and brainwashed into believing that all men are the most crude and disgusting animals on the planet. I understand their feelings to a point but I hate people who broad brush groups with facts that may or may not be true.
I don’t find myself any more or any less disgusting than most women. As human beings our entire everyday existence is disgusting. I’m about to lay some facts on you that you’ve probably never heard. You women out there who insist that men are more disgusting than women, pay attention. We get out of bed every morning just like you and go about our life doing all the little normal things that you do. We brush our hair, we sleep in a bed, we go to the bathroom, and a thousand other things that all of us humans pay little or no attention to. If you’re one of those obsessive/compulsive folks with issues about germs and dirt you might want to stop reading now. This is sure to upset you more than just a little. And ladies, after reading the following list you may have to rethink calling us men disgusting. All human beings are disgusting in one way or another including yourselves.
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An average person’s yearly fast food intake will contain 12 pubic hairs.
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Most of the dust underneath your bed is actually your own dead skin.
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A hard working adult sweats up to 4 gallons per day.
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A toothbrush within 6 feet of a toilet can get airborne bacteria from flushing.
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According to U.S. FDA standards, 1 cup of orange juice is allowed to contain 10 fruit fly eggs, but only 2 maggots.
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An average adult produces about half a liter of flatulent gas per day, resulting in an average of about fourteen occurrences of flatulence a day.
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Every day, the average person swallows about a quart of mucous.
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More than 40,000 parasites and 250 types of bacteria are exchanged during a typical French kiss.
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One in three motorists pick their nose while driving.
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The average office desk has 400 times more bacteria than a toilet.
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There are more bacteria in your mouth than there are people in the world.
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You inhale about 700,000 of your own skin flakes each day.
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On a daily average you will inhale 1 liter of others anal gasses.
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An average person will consume 12 pubic hairs in their fast food annually.
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If you swim one hour in a public pool you will intake 1/12 liters of urine.
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Diarrhea induced E.Coli was found on 10% of coffee mugs in the U.S.
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Annually you will shake hands with 6 men who have recently masturbated and did not wash their hands.
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Through contact with door knobs, counter tops, and other daily objects your hand will come in contact with 15 penises a day.
I think I’ve made my point in as a disgusting way as I can. Everyone now stand up near your computer, laptop, tablet, or smart phone and repeat after me. WE ARE ALL DISGUSTING! Thank you for your attention.
Just as a common courtesy I thought I’d let everyone know that as I ended yesterday’s posting I was hoping and praying for a really sexy massage but a little worried about a threatened enema. I received neither and on one hand I’m happy and the other hand not so much. It was an all or nothing deal and I had to turn it down because I’m chicken.
It’s always been that way for me. it’s never someone just offering me a nice kiss on the cheek but someone promising that kiss then kicking me in the balls as well. Carrot and stick all at the same time. If you can avoid that situation I would highly recommend it.
Since I’m still under the weather I’ll spend my day today on the computer continuing the sorting and cataloging of my photographs. I’ve almost completed the job which has taken just about forever but ever time I return home with my camera I have another hundred or so photo’s to review and sort. And no I don’t keep everything. If I take a hundred photos from my camera I may keep twenty-five. A quick skim through them usually reveals very quickly which ones just suck and have no real value.
My standard routine is to take at least four shots of every photograph. It still amazes me how much difference takes place in just a second or two from the last one. As a general rule the very first snap usually is the keeper. Not always but more often than not. It just goes to show that my first thoughts and actions in that specific moment were correct, most of the time.
I may spend a little time today playing with my Photoshop program. I normally don’t edit my photographs because I want them exactly as they were when taken. I’ll on occasion edit a few as a novelty and print them up for friends and family but in my opinion untouched photo’s are always the way to go. I’m still something of a novice with Photoshop but it’s fun to play around with which can only increase my proficiency.
I’m hoping by tomorrow I’ll be permitted to leave the house. Just between you and me, regardless of the warden’s wishes, I’ll be getting out of here for a few hours. A little fresh air can only help and even if it doesn’t, so what. I have to admit that I’m a terrible patient and even though my better-half is trying to help I still can occasionally be a pain in the ass. Hard to believe I know.
Well, tomorrow is another day with the promise of sunny weather, a quick and undetected escape from this house, and freedom, freedom, freedom.
This has been a slow news day for me. I was so excited to complete my room remodel that I celebrated a little too much and got stupid a whole lot. The sun was shining, the temperature was in the high sixties, and I was on the deck catching some rays and loving life. Portions of our deck are protected from the wind so I was hot and sweaty in the sun but then when the wind shifted the temperature dropped about fifteen degrees. I didn’t let it phase me or so I thought.
Last night at nine I started feeling a bit flushed and then a little clammy. Right as I was going to bed I felt that well known indicator of bad things to come, a scratchy throat. I hoped and prayed I was wrong but I knew I wasn’t. At three in the morning I woke up coughing and with a light fever. At four I was awakened because I was having difficulty breathing from congestion in my head and chest. It was quickly becoming a really bad day.
I seem to have lost the good health battle to a rather fast moving virus of some sort. I honestly don’t think it’s the flu because of the speed at which it’s progressing. I’ve been low on energy all day today and been doing all of the normal run-of-the-mill remedies to help myself through this. Lots of liquids, rest, an occasional throat lozenge, and a few Tylenol. It’s now four in the afternoon and things are status quo.
I hate being sick and confined to bed but my better-half (the female warden of this prison) has laid down the law. I’m in freaking jail with no chance of parole at least until the fever breaks. I’ll only be allowed out to play with the other kids after I start feeling better and when I stop being a whinny baby (her choice of words, not mine).
So this posting will lack my normal sarcastic bent because my head hurts and I’m in dire need of a lengthy but loving back rub. The warden says if I’m good I can watch some TV and she’ll make me some chicken soup. Screw the soup, I want a really detailed and thorough sponge bath with all the trimmings. It would lower my rising temperature, clean my filthy body, and give me a cheap thrill or two if she does it just right.
So that’s it for today. I can see the warden heading my way with that Nurse Ratched look on her face. I hope she’s not going to try that enema thing again. LOL
This is the day to celebrate. My remodeled room is for all intents and purposes completed. I’ll be adding all the pretty little bells and whistles over the next few weeks like a new fan, outlet covers, a closet organizer, and a new heater cover but the tough stuff is done. It’s been a long winter working on this room but I succeeded in getting it done on time and within budget. All of you will also be glad to know that I won’t be boring you with any further bitching and complaining about it, a Win/Win for us all.
In order to celebrate this accomplishment my better-half came up with a perfect solution. She felt it was necessary to make the rounds of area antique shops to look for a few things to put in the new room. Since this room was remodeled primarily for her use she desperately needed one large piece of furniture and a number of smaller decorative items. Who was I to argue?
We didn’t go very far from home for our first stop and while I’m not a big shopping fan I entered the building with the best of intentions. It was filled to the brim with just about everything you could think of making it a long drawn out effort to see everything in one short visit. I may not be a career shopper like my better-half but I can still spot a good item from a distance. I saw a small desk that must have been close to eighty years old being used to display many other smaller items. Since we both decided we would be decorating the room a little more eclectically, I thought it would make an excellent vanity for all her lotions, jewelry, and the ton of other female accessories she owns. Normally when I make these kinds of suggestions, she will just smile, pat me on the head, and tell me it’s just not her style.
She stood there for five minutes checking it out. Without saying a word she walked around it, touched it, smelled it, and then told me to measure it. She walked away to another area of the store to look at something and said nothing further. I measured the desk, she nodded, but continued her shopping. I figured that was an unspoken "No thank you".
Then I was dragged nearby to look at a 1955 era dinette set. It had an oval table, four chairs and a leaf to extend the length of the table. I love Retro but I didn’t think she’d be all that interested in that sort of thing. This dinette set was in almost new condition and would fit perfectly in our kitchen’s breakfast nook. She had me measure the table size and when I was finished we walked to the main checkout area to talk with the store’s owner. In five minutes she talked the owner into dropping the price of the dinette set fifty bucks and then told the women we were going home to do a few room measurements but would return shortly.
We drove to our house, took the required measurements, and immediately returned to the store. We bought both items without any further discussion and after a couple of trips later had everything back at our home. To say I was stunned is a huge understatement. I’ve known her for more years than I like to admit but this was the very first time she made this kind of decision in such short order. Her usual decision making process is to not make a decision. Over the years on a number of occasions we missed out on really good buys because she wanted to wait and think about it for a while. We’d return the next day and find the items purchased and gone.
In my opinion any progress made in these matters is a good thing. It was a huge shock to see her so taken with something that she could deny her urge to wait. It’s nice to know that no matter how well or how long you know someone, they can still surprise you.
It was a great day, we made two excellent purchases, and we’ll be enjoying them for years to come. Good for us.
Another sunny and warm day here in Maine. I’m already getting spoiled by all this good weather and it isn’t even May yet. I wasn’t all that motivated today but after a couple of cups of good coffee I was raring to go. I had a few errands to run and decided to get them out of the way early.
I first made my way to my favorite book store to return a few paperbacks and to buy a few more. When you read as much as I do it can get very expensive very quickly so a cute little store like this is a god send. I returned five novels and repurchased six new ones for a grand total of $13.00. As always I also get fifteen or twenty minutes of excellent and intelligent conversation at no cost. It’s nice to find a person who is well read and can speak on almost any subject and keep it interesting.
After returning home with my bag of guilt, that once-a-month fast food sin I permit myself, I sat on the deck and ate a thick, greasy, juicy, luscious, and heartwarming hamburger. I can’t even explain what an evil pleasure it gives me along with some salty, oily, and scrumptious french fries. You know when the slop your eating and clogging your arteries with is good when you‘re required to wipe your hands and arms to remove the excess salt and oil. Soooooo effing good!
After partaking of my weaknesses for bad food the guilt was almost unbearable (I did say almost). I decided as penance that I needed to do something worthwhile today which led me to the workshop for primer and painting supplies. I primed a section of my remodeled room, got paint all over me, and then said the hell with it. I cleaned up, took a shower, and settled into the living room with my X-Box. Nothing like a couple of hours of roaming through the world of Harry Potter to relax a person. It was great as always.
My better-half came home from work and surprise, surprise, neither of us felt much like cooking. Into the car and off to our favorite sports bar, The Strike Zone. It just so happened to be “all you can eat” haddock night. So in the spirit of the moment we sat there with a couple of good drinks and stuffed ourselves with all the haddock we could eat and it was incredible. There was one low point to the evening which will require me to drop a note to the chef on my next visit. They have the absolute worst coleslaw I’ve ever tasted in my entire life. Any person serving coleslaw that tastes that bad should be beaten and then arrested and then have his ass kicked again.
I wish I could be a kinder and gentler person but but when someone screws up my coleslaw it really pisses me off. I think I may need some food style anger management.
My drywall frustration continued again today shortly after I started priming the ceiling. I’m enough of a realist to understand that no matter how hard you try it’s almost impossible to do a remodeling project in an old house that is just perfect. I accepted that fact and decided early on I would deal with those problems as they occurred. Well, they did.
I purposely made the decision to for this to be a winter project and to take as much time as necessary to do it right. From the first that freaking ceiling was a problem. It wasn’t level and the room wasn’t square but I fixed each issue as best I could and proceeded on. In my heart I knew that no matter what there would be certain areas I could never get perfect.
As soon as I began painting today I discovered a new drywall rule of thumb. Everything good is really bad and everything bad is really good. Every area that I was concerned with turned out perfect and the two areas I was worried the least about became the biggest problems. One area couldn’t be properly fixed and will require additional repair work once the remainder of the room is completed. It’s just so damn frustrating.
Enough with the damn remodel. I finally made my way outside and it was the most gorgeous day so far this month. I managed to complete some of the yard cleanup, chatted with a neighbor or two, and cleared my head of remodeling issues. After my better-half arrived home from work we sat down and began to plan the garden. What and where we should plant, buying additional soil to fill the frames, and a possible expansion of the garden to allow her to plant thirty of forty of the larger species of sunflowers. It was an hour well spent that will make this year’s garden preparation less of a challenge.
One of our neighbors stopped by and he really has a bad case of garden/spring fever. Over the past few summers he and his wife created a basic home garden and discovered how much they enjoyed it. This year their two young daughters, ages five and seven, are becoming more involved. The girls are are ready to jump into things immediately and have already started a few seeds and can’t wait to get a little dirty with their mom and dad in the garden. It should a great summer for all of us exchanging gardening tips and canning techniques. I’m looking forward to my first visit from his girls to talk about our gardens. They’re too cute to be believed.
My book reading goal was reached last night when I completed both my sci-fi and non-fiction novels. I read well into the night and had a great time in the process. Now I can finish the third book at my leisure and take a little time to properly enjoy it.
Slowly but surely I’m making progress.
It seems to me that this one little room remodel has consumed me for a very long time. It continued today much to my chagrin. I thought I’d finally begin the priming and painting to move this project into its final stages but I was wrong again. I decided to do one last up-close inspection before starting to primer and after completing that inspection I put the paint and supplies back in the workshop and returned once again to the joint compound to make a few small repairs. Nothing pisses me off as much as realizing I’m not as meticulous as I thought.
I put down the plastic sheeting one more time, slopped some more joint compound around, and now I’m forced to wait until tomorrow before I can again smooth it out. Another freaking day lost that I could be doing other things but can’t. This project needs to be completed and over. I need to keep in mind that I can’t rush things because if I do I’ll be creating even more problems. So I’ll shut up now and get back to work.
It’s now a few hours later and the minor repairs have been completed to my satisfaction. Of course, my better-half arrived to conduct her own inspection and make a few comments which always makes me a little crazy. She was somewhat kind and took it easy on me because she knew how pissed off I was. So now it’s time to kick back for a few hours and try to change my focus from drywalling and painting to the garden and yard cleanup.
I briefly checked in on the progress of the Boston bombing but there wasn’t much new to hear. I realize it’s too early to expect anything new but like every other citizen of this country I’m angry and want justice and some dark and savage revenge on the fuckers responsible for this outrage. Again I’m forced to wait for results. I’m a very impatient person and waiting makes me effing crazy.
I have a little extra time today to catch up my reading. I normally like to read one book at a time but I find myself with three different books only partially read. I’ve been skipping from one to the other and it’s a little distracting. On top of that, one book is on an e-reader (science fiction), another is a large and bulky hardcover (non-fiction), and the third an old tattered paperback (fiction). It’s effectively ruining all three stories for me and it’s time for me to fix things. I plan on finishing the sci-fi today which should be easy enough with only a couple of hundred pages remaining. Then tomorrow I’ll knock off the non-fiction book after finishing the first coat of primer and paint in this freaking room.
The next few days are expected to be sunny and clear but not particularly warm. I plan on spending some quality time with my camera and maybe walk a few quiet miles through some nearby woods. It’s a little early in the season to expect much in the way of photographs but it’s really more about getting out the house for a few hours. Believe me, it will be a pleasure to take photo’s of anything that isn’t covered with or standing in snow.
C’mon springtime.
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