Archive for the ‘Useless Crap’ Category
I thought today I’d live up to this blogs name by providing a few items of really useless information which you could no doubt live without. I need to have a fun posting day for a change that will provide absolutely no useful content to any discussion about anything at all. How’s that for a total and complete disclaimer.
I’ve always been a huge trivia fan and anytime I find a few tidbits that are new to me I immediately send them along to you. So sit back in your nice soft chair with your refreshment of choice and read on.
1. Potatoes have more chromosomes than humans do – 48 versus 46.
2. The steam rising from a cup of hot coffee contains the same amount of antioxidants as three oranges.
3. Cleavage has nothing to do with breast size or shape. Women with concave ribcages exhibit cleavage, while those with convex ribcages don’t.
4. There are roughly 144,000 mosquitos for every person on earth.
5. Dr. Seuss wrote Green Eggs and Ham after his editor challenged him to produce a book using fewer than 50 words.
6. William McKinley was the first president to ride in an electric car – the ambulance that took him to the hospital after he was shot by an assassin.
7. In 2004, the glossy Ikea catalogue overtook the Bible as the world’s most distributed publication.
8. The Bible is the most shoplifted book in the world.
9. The actress Liz Sheridan, best known for her portrayal of Jerry Seinfeld’s TV mother, was briefly engaged to James Dean.
10. One of every five meals in America are eaten in cars.
11. The largest human cell is the female ovum. The smallest is the male sperm.
12. You can tell the temperature by listening to a cricket chirp. For the temperature in degrees Fahrenheit, count the number of chirps in 15 seconds and add 37.
13. In the summer of 1967, Jimi Hendrix was the opening act for the Monkees seven times.
14. A falling object travels slower at the equator than it does at the North and South poles.
15. Winston Churchill had a heart attack in the White House while straining to open a window.
So there you have it. Fifteen more golden nuggets of useless information to use up what space you have left in your memory banks. The month of March is sure to be long and boring and to make it complete I’ll send a few more tidbits your way in a few weeks. I just know your thrilled.
In my travels this year everyone seems to be talking a great deal about the flu, getting flu shots, and health issues in general. They don’t call this time of the year Cold & Flu Season for nothing I suppose.
As a society we’ve been slowly and steadily introduced to a plethora of drugs that will seemingly cure all of our ills (we hope). The costs keep rising and rising for these drugs with no end in sight (if the drug companies having anything to say about it). Prescription drugs have become the new necessities of life and a major addiction for our entire society. It’s all we seem to talk about or think about after decades of thorough and constant advertising propaganda.
My mother introduced me to herb growing many years ago and ever since I’ve had a really nice herb garden wherever I’ve lived. I grow dozens of culinary herbs and I’m already planning additions to my garden for this year. I try to use as many fresh herbs as I can in our food preparations during the summer months and dry and store enough to get us through each winter. It makes the food much more flavorful and is likely a healthy practice (we hope).
Being a huge reader I’ve developed a habit of buying old books at yard sales and discount bookstores concerning herb lore and their varied medicinal uses. About twenty years ago I stumbled on a copy of a very old book, Culpeper’s Complete Herbal – written in 1653, that contains hundreds of plants and their dosages used for medicinal purposes. For centuries that book was probably used for remedies to ease symptoms of many every day minor illnesses.
I decided to do a little more research and thought I might pass along a few of these outdated and quirky remedies that may have been the basis for some of our current day solutions. Here are a few:
After all of these years our current well educated doctors are still no closer to discovering a remedy for the common cold. It’s the same old thing, "drink lots of liquids, bed rest, and take an aspirin every four hours." The ancients believed in the use of medicinal herbs. They actually brewed willow bark to help ease headaches and cold symptoms. It was later synthesized into the modern day aspirin we use today. Maybe they were smarter than we give them credit for, or maybe not. Here’s a sore throat remedy that you will just love:
Take a wool sock, a dirty (stinky and smelly) wool sock worn by someone who is obviously strong and healthy. It must be a sock from a member of the opposite sex and should be turned inside out and tied around the neck. The foot part of the sock should cover the sorest spot of the throat and left there overnight. In the morning remove the sock and wash (please). Your sore throat and fever should be eased somewhat. (Yikes!)
How’s that for a disgusting bit of healthcare. I think I’d prefer the smell of Vicks to a nasty old sock worn by better-half. It might cure my sore throat but my eye’s would water for a week. Now for an interesting tip on dealing with a pesky toothache:
Just split open a nutshell, dig out the meat but be sure to keep the two items intact. Put a dead spider in one half and close up the shell. Hang it around your neck and as long as you’re wearing it, no more toothaches. (This one is not for me). Now for a really ancient hiccup cure:
The ancient Chinese were ahead of their time in dealing with hiccups. They suggested to gulp nine swallows of water without taking a breath. You should at the same time press a spot on the back of your neck where it meets the torso. Modern scientists later determined that was actually the location of the phrenic nerve which when pressed can stop the impulse to hiccup.
Wart remedies are one of my favorites. When I was a kid I had a wart on my index finger that would not go away and it drove me crazy. An elderly Slovak lady who lived in my neighborhood told me to cut a potato in half. Then take a penny and rub both sides of it on the potato halves. Next I was to rub the penny on the wart using both sides of the coin. Finally I was to throw the penny away where it could never be found by anyone. I followed her instructions to the letter and within two week the wart dried up and fell off. I was dumbfounded.
I certainly don’t recommend or endorse any of these ancient remedies, just passing them along as a public service. Some are silly, some don’t work and some do but either way they’re still interesting.
Have a wonderful Cough and Cold season and save all those stinky socks.
Do you ever use sarcasm as a means to quiet people who irritate you? Have you ever been accused of being a lesser person because your sarcastic? Do people that don’t understand sarcasm cause you to step back a bit and begin to wonder what it was early in their life that they missed? If you said yes to any of these questions then you are probably an honest-to-God quick witted and funny person like me.
It’s time for those of us blessed with superior sarcasm skills to stand up with our heads held high and proclaim to the world "I’m sarcastic, your not, life sucks so deal with it.” Jealousy is a terrible thing and if I remember correctly it is one of the Seven Deadly Sins and not something to be all that proud of.
I’ve often been accused of being “a sarcastic SOB” and I’ve put up with the ignorant and sometime condescending comments for years. I’ll no longer tolerate that kind of treatment by anyone ever again. No more Mr. Nice Guy, "I’m sarcastic, it isn’t going to change, so either get over it or stay the hell away from me.”
I began developing my sarcasm superpower at age ten when I discovered that I could deflect parents, adults, and bullies with sarcasm which in turn kept me from being beaten, spanked, and bothered. It didn’t always work but I decided I needed to develop the skill further because it had real potential.
In junior high school I tried to get along with my first and only bully. Unfortunately I was a bit of a runt which allowed the bully to think I was stupid, weak, and non threatening. As we all know most bullies love to target someone who is weak or appears to be weak for constant ridicule and physical intimidation. My bully was three years older than me, had been left back a couple of times, out weighed me by forty pounds, and fortunately for me was as dumb as a bag of rocks.
I remember clearly the first time I used sarcasm on him. When I told him sarcastically, “You must think your the biggest, badest, and smartest SOB in this effing school?”. He appeared to be flattered and just couldn’t stop grinning and swaggering around the school yard. He actually thought I complimented him which instantly transformed me into a possible candidate to join his entourage of morons and suck ups. I declined membership and after two years of being kicked around and having my possessions stolen, I was finally free to enjoy the rest of Junior High and High School without that asshole causing me further difficulties.
I decided then and there that using wit, sarcasm, and glib remarks was a valuable tool and became determined to refine it and become “All I could be”. If used properly along with smiles and clever conversation it can also get you laid every so often which was a accidental and pleasant discovery. That in itself justified all of the time and effort I put into becoming a virtual “sarcasm machine”.
As always when I write about things I try to research the meanings of the words I’m using. The alleged intellectuals responsible for compiling dictionaries and encyclopedias describe sarcasm very clinically and for the most part in a negative fashion:
In sarcasm, ridicule or mockery is used harshly, often crudely and contemptuously, for destructive purposes. It may be used in an indirect manner, and have the form of irony, as in "What a fine musician you turned out to be!" or it may be used in the form of a direct statement, "You couldn’t play one piece correctly if you had two assistants." The distinctive quality of sarcasm is present in the spoken word and manifested chiefly by vocal intonation . . .
Hostile, critical comments may be expressed in an ironic way, such as saying "don’t work too hard" to a lazy worker. The use of irony introduces an element of humour which may make the criticism seem more polite and less aggressive. Sarcasm can frequently be unnoticed in print form, oftentimes requiring the intonation or tone of voice to indicate the quip.
Viewing sarcasm as a negative really doesn’t get to the truth of it. There are some people, highly intelligent and educated, who just don’t get sarcasm. I try not to be disrespectful during those occasional conversations with them because I never want to be perceived as mean or rude. I like a lot of laughter in my life and when the people around me don’t bring anything to the table then it’s up to me to create some and I do, sometimes at their expense.
SO TO ALL OF YOU OUT THERE, HAVE A WONDERFUL AND GLORIOUS DAY (Sarcasm Off)
I feel so blessed today. In less than two weeks I survived the Storm of the Century and then almost immediately I survived that asteroid that just missed us. I’m a bit of a science nerd and will read anything remotely related to NASA or space travel. I was certainly intrigued when the announcement was made a few weeks ago that an object of this size would do the closest fly-by of the earth ever recorded.
I know just enough about our government and it’s propaganda arm to be a little concerned and skeptical when they say there was no chance of a collision. In my opinion if they were aware that a collision was imminent they wouldn’t tell us anyway. Anarchy and panic would certainly occur if that kind of an announcement were ever made.
So I sat patiently before my TV watching the asteroid live and in black and white as it zoomed on by almost directly over Indonesia. The NASA channel in it’s continuously boring fashion with absolutely no sound and with unrecognizable pictures did nothing to put my mind at ease. After the meteor strikes over Russia the previous day I wasn’t completely convinced we had nothing to worry about.
I suppose the day will arrive eventually when a huge one will hit us and I pray it’s thousands of years from now when technology will hopefully make it a non-problem. I’m not sure about many things but I’m reasonably confident that it will occur someday. I sure hope I’m not around to see it.
Enough about the damn asteroid. How about hearing some completely boring and useless information about my returning again to my remodeling project. I finally reframed the new opening that will eventually lead into my bedroom and I left the drywall intact to keep the dirt and dust from filling the rest of the house. One more bit of framing on the closet and I’ll be ready to begin hanging dry wall. I’ve been taking my time with this damn project but I’m still ahead of the schedule I set for myself. I just wish working with drywall wasn’t so messy. I spend more time cleaning up than actually constructing anything.
I also spent a couple of hours going through a few hundred photographs taken during the last snow storm. Some of them are very cool especially those showing my better-half on her maiden voyage with that big red snow thrower. I caught that look of sheer panic on her face as she began and later the big smile on her face as she conquered her fears and really started enjoying herself. Pretty damn cool if I do say so myself. I used the first photo as my new screensaver because it makes me smile every time I see it.
We’re having visitors tonight with one of them being the new grand child. Eat dinner, a few games of Hearts, and some quality time with the little guy. Not too bad at all.
Tonight I’m sitting alone in my bedroom writing this posting because I’ve been officially banished from the living room by my better-half. I suppose this is my punishment for refusing to watch the red carpet nonsense prior to the Grammy’s.
This is what happens every year and believe me I accept this isolation gladly. My life has never been so boring that I need a night of Beyoncé, Jayzee, Jennifer Lopez, and all of the other alleged musical geniuses. I’d make two exceptions if I could. If someone could arrange to have Taylor Swift and/or Katy Perry stop at my place tonight I’d do everything in my power to keep them entertained. To quote a old song I that I love: “wishing and hoping, singing and praying, planning and dreaming. . .
Today was a bit of a let down after the weekend storm but everything is business as usual in the area. It doesn’t take long for people living in Maine to bounce back because we’re used to a lot of snow and are well prepared to handle it. I guess it’s always a good thing to have a few days of excitement. It keeps things interesting and gives us a few war stories for the next year or two.
I finished making and canning my batch of Tropical Salsa this morning. I thought it was pretty good but it isn’t officially edible until approved by my better-half. If I can get her to actually admit she likes it then I’m golden. I’ll be sending a few samples around tomorrow to some friends for what will be a brutal but honest evaluation. I really think it will make an excellent side dish for quite a few of our sea food dishes.
Now that I have a few hours of quiet time thanks to the Grammy’s I can do some reading. I decided I wanted to read something with a story that’s long, detailed, and in depth. So I’m going to retread the trilogy by the late Stieg Larsson which is a complex set of lengthy mysteries totaling approximately 2180 pages. The first book has received a lot of press in recent months with a movie already made. The books are; The Girl With the Dragon Tattoo, The Girl Who Played With Fire, and The Girl Who Kicked the Hornets Nest. I first read the stories last summer but didn’t take the time to really enjoy them. This time I’ll read it slowly and really savor the incredible details of the stories and their characters. That should keep me reading until the winter is just about over.
I’m planning a tour of the general area tomorrow to take a few photos and walk the beaches for a while. I can get a better idea of just how bad the storm was and hopefully document some of the damage.
It’s a cold night and I’m snuggled in a warm bed with my IPad. Very nice.
Just sitting around today waiting for the next uppercut from Mother Nature who is sending another huge snow storm our way. I sure hope those alleged weathermen and women are wrong but you know how that goes. When they say it will be sunny and fair they’re almost always wrong. When they say it will sleet or snow, they’re almost always right. If we get the 16-24 inches they’re predicting it will be a long few days of snow blowing, shoveling, and waiting for the roads to be cleared.
Yesterday’s posting seems to have struck a nerve in some quarters. Closest to home my better-half was less than thrilled about being mentioned in what she thought was a somewhat derogatory manner. I kept trying to explain to her that every time I refer to her in a post, it’s complimentary. She just doesn’t realize after all of our time together when I ‘m being serious and when I’m being funny. She’s thinks I should be more careful when discussing our personal life but I just can’t seem to help myself. Our life together is great but at times it’s also hysterically funny. She’s either purposely giving me a bad time or she’s all of a sudden lost her sense of humor. Truthfully I think she’s trying to be sarcastic and hasn’t quite gotten the hang of it yet. She’s a sarcastic work in progress.
I had a great half hour of meditation this afternoon (as described yesterday) which always makes me feel terrific. My cat has picked up the habit of climbing onto the meditation platform (couch) while I’m meditating (napping) and stretching out to his full length and purring like crazy. That tells me he’s found his "happy place" which is probably somewhere near the Portland fish market. He so loves his seafood.
We both then retired to my man-cave for an hour of tax preparation. After a great deal of bitching and profanity the cat left in a huff as I finally e-filed my returns. That damn cat’s getting way too sensitive in his old age and needs to lighten up a little. There was a time when he would only respond to "Hey Dumb Ass", so I just don’t get his recent snotty attitude. I suppose he’s just feeling the "tax time" pressures vicariously through me. Dumb ass cat.
I would also like to send out a quick thank you to a few of my newest followers. Welcome to the blog that’s just “full of it”. I hope you enjoy your visits here and come back as often as possible. Thanks go out to: hayleyhobson, happsters, evanstang, puravidaeh, craftedincarhardtt, russelldeasley, hollisplample, and silkroadcollector. If the rest of you get a chance please give their blogs and profiles a look see. I’m sure you’ll enjoy them as much as I do.
I guess it’s time for me to gas up the snow thrower and begin preparations for the storm that’s scheduled to start sometime early tomorrow. Winter in Maine is a trip but I never said it was always a good trip.
And a big Happy Groundhog Day to you all. I almost decided to wear my full body gopher costume for the day but my better-half put her foot down. She refused to allow me to leave the house dressed like that. She told me in no uncertain terms that I’d just have to be happy with what I wrote yesterday. She can be such a buzz kill at times.
So instead I resumed my remodeling project and worked at it for most of the day. All of the electrical has been rerouted, installed and working as expected. The insulation has been replaced with care and repaired in certain spots as well. The new vapor barrier has been installed and finally allows me to get on with the reframing of the closet and the new opening into my bedroom. I’m still on schedule with final completion slated for sometime in late April.
My Harry Potter obsession seems to be winding down. In the the last two months I’ve read all of the books and seen all of the movies and it’s been a great undertaking. All that remains now is the two X-box LEGO Harry Potter games which are sure to be difficult and time consuming. I’ll probably be working on those two games well into the Fall but as with all obsessions I can’t wait to get started.
I surprised my better-half this afternoon with a Ground Hog Day night on the town in Portland. There’s nothing less exciting than a night on the town on a cold February night in Portland, ME. Luck was with us when surprise, surprise we found a decent parking spot almost immediately. Anyone who lives here knows what a miracle that was. We made our way down Commercial street to the Dry Dock bar, tavern, and meeting place for all those people terribly bored with the winter weather. The second surprise was an extremely nice and competent waitress which doesn’t happen all that often either. Surprise number three, the food. Without question this was the best little meal I can ever remember having. It was three plates of appetizers with each one more delicious than the last. Pork Wings followed by Crab Rangoon followed by hot and spicy Chicken Wings. Add to that a decent glass of Cabernet for me and a Shipyard beer for the better-half and you’ve got a great night going on. The place was an old building with the classic store front windows where you can sit and watch the world go by. You can bet we’ll be returning here often.
We returned home for some quiet time and if my luck holds I’ll be chasing my better-half around the house until she lets me catch her. As always it’s all about the chase.
Have a great weekend chasing whoever it is you chase.
Doing a lot of reading through these freezing cold months is something I look forward to every year. With little or no outside work to do I can read two or three books a week with no trouble. I purposely buy books to be saved for these months and I try to make them as diverse as I can.
That being said, if you’ve read this blog or my previous blog, Anti-Stupidity Central, you know how much I tend to ridicule celebrities and the people who worship them. There is always so much hype and lies about their lives it’s difficult to sort through it all to find the truth. During my weekly reading this week I discovered a source who supplied me with some truth about celebrities that they can’t deny or spin or tell untruths about. The following information concerns those celebrities who have passed on with some interesting facts on how that occurred.
SAMMY DAVIS JR. (1925-1990)
Don’t wives ever listen? Sammy Davis Jr. wanted his coffin closed because he wanted no one to see his cancer-ravaged body. His wife Altovise had an open casket and hired a photographer to snap pictures. Later when she discovered his estate owed millions in back taxes she had him exhumed and removed $70,000.00 of jewelry from his body. She died in 2009 at the same age as Sammy. Ahhhh, ain’t true love wonderful?
MERV GRIFFIN (1925-2007)
His final resting place is Westwood Cemetery, Los Angeles. At the time of his death on August 12, he was a billionaire. He was clever and guarded at evading questions about his sexuality, telling the NY Times, “I tell everyone that I’m a quarter sexual. I will do anything with anyone for a quarter.” His epithet reads ‘I Will Not Be Right Back After This Message’.
JOHN WAYNE (1907-1979)
The Duke died of stomach cancer on June 11 and on his deathbed, he converted to Catholicism, and requested his tombstone to read, ‘Feo, Fuerte, y Normal’, a Spanish phrase meaning “ugly, strong, and dignified.” His grave remained unmarked for more than twenty years.
MEL BLANC (1908-1989)
Mel Blanc was known as the man of a thousand voices for more than fifty-two years, including Daffy Duck, Porky Pig, Yosemite Sam, Wile E. Coyote, and Barney Rubble. He died on July 10 of heart disease and was buried in a grave with the inscription, ‘That’s All Folks’, as stipulated in his will.
JOAN HACKETT (1934-1983)
She was laid to rest in Hollywood Forever Cemetery after losing her battle with ovarian cancer. She checked herself out of the hospital shortly before her death to host a party at her home for Carrie Fisher and Paul Simon. She so loved to get her beauty sleep that she was left resting quietly in Crypt 2314 with the epithet, ‘Go Away – I’m Asleep’.
And last but certainly not least:
RODNEY DANGERFIELD (1921-2004)
His final resting place is Westwood Memorial Park in Los Angeles. You just have to love a guy who at eighty-two was still smoking pot. During the Reagan years he even once got stoned in the White House. He also, in 2002, got stoned in the hospital bathroom after having a heart attack scare. He died on October 5 from complications from heart-valve replacement. His tombstone reads "’There Goes The Neighborhood’. To me he was one of the funniest bastards who ever lived and has definitely earned my respect.
So there you have it. A small dose of graveside humor that can’t be disputed, denied, or spun. If only the ones still living could be as open and forthright.
I’ve always been highly skeptical about statistics and how the numbers are so easily manipulated to suit whatever parameters the publisher of them desires. So I sit here today in January enjoying a little Sunday quiet time catching up on my reading. I purchased a book recently that uses the term “Number Freaking”. I love the term and as I began to scan through the book I knew almost immediately this book would forever remain in my personal library. It’s funny in part but also not so funny because it verifies most of my fears about statistics. Crunch the numbers until they say what you want them to say. Ask any politician.
I really don’t want to go negative today. I think we all need a good laugh when we can get one and I’ll supply you with one free of charge this morning. The following statistics are humorous and as always here on this blog, gender neutral. I’ve listed one for the ladies and a second one for the men.
In 1988 Paul L. Jamison and Paul H. Gebhard published an analysis in the Journal for Sex Research of the data collected by Kinsey on penis size. Here is some good or bad news depending on who you are. These numbers are averages measured in inches.
Flaccid Length – 3.89
Flaccid circumference – 3.75
Erect Length – 6.21
Erect Circumference – 4.85
Erectile increase in length – 2.30
Erectile increase in circumference (girth) – 1.11Average erectile angle – 15 degrees above the horizon
Average erect diameter – 1.24
Average time to achieve an erection – 3-8 seconds
Women in Kinsey’s studies also stated that on average they took just under four minutes to achieve orgasm while masturbating. With a partner it took them between ten and twenty minutes.
How are you guys measuring up so far? Some good, some bad, and some OMG, “Help me Lord”. Now to the next step. These are stats on length of erection by age and minutes.
16-20 – 12.00
21-25 – 42.88
26-30 – 53.09
31-35 – 47.24
36-40 – 40.62
41-45 – 31.07
46-50 – 29.02
51-55 – 21.62
56-60 – 26.67
61-65 – 19.50
66-70 – 07.00
71-?? – 00.00
While these stats are averages, I might have to take some issue with them but really, what do I know? These are the facts man! Let’s move on to more statistics which may be of interest to the men out there.
The concentration of human sperm has fallen 29% recently, from 87 million in a milliliter to just over 62 million. Twenty million sperm a milliliter is the lower limit of normal. At orgasm a man produces around 250 million sperm.
The Penguin Atlas of Human Sexual Behavior claims intercourse takes place, worldwide, 120 million times per day. Assuming an average of one male per coupling and one orgasm per male, the men are producing 300 million billion or 30 quadrillion sperm a day. That would come to (no pun please, this is serious stuff) 90, 000 sperm per minute, or 130 million sperm a day.
Man, that’s a whole lot of sperm. I’m sure these stats are telling us all a few useless bits of information we didn’t know before but so what. As I said at the start you can make of them what you will. Just another pile of useless information from the blog that’s full of it.
Have a wonderful sperm filled day.
Another day spent dealing with snow. Me and my best friend, my new snow thrower, spent some quality time together this morning trying to keep up with a minor snow storm that dumped another four inches of snow on us. I can’t begin to tell you what a great purchase that snow thrower was for me. I was initially telling everyone that if I bought one it might never snow again. As usual my cynical side got the best of me. It’s only the middle of January and I’ve already used it three times and I’m sure there’s more coming.
My better-half is off today and it’s been "task" day for her and by association also for me. Clean this, dust that, pick up those, and on and on it goes. At least in the summer I can escape from these kind of days by taking my camera and disappearing, with her or without her. This snow just complicates matters making disappearing much more difficult. Thankfully our home is large enough where I can actually disappear for short periods and she can’t seem to find me.
After her frenzy of cleaning we made our obligatory visit to the local Walmart. It’s always a fun place to visit when you just want to get out of the house before you scream out loud. Walmart never disappoints no matter when you visit.
We got to the parking lot and between the piles of snow and the puddles of melting snow it was a real mess. I took maybe ten steps from my car and found my first Walmart surprise of the day, a wadded up pair of what appeared to be well worn panty hose just lying there looking up at me. I normally see something like that and then try to imagine under what circumstances someone either throws away or drops their panty hose in a Walmart parking lot. Did some careless woman open her purse to put her panties back on and drop her panty hose. Maybe it was a couple of Walmart associates taking their mid-day break for a quickie in the car. Maybe it was a couple of extremely horny customers who just had to take a jump in the Walmart lot so they could brag to their friends about it. The possibilities are endless but also quite entertaining.
As I entered the store the greeter as always woke up just long enough to hand me a flyer of some sort and then nodded off again. He was a fine looking specimen who was probably seventy years old but looked a hundred. The place was packed as usual with quite the assortment of customers who always seem to be clogging the specific aisle where I’m shopping. I tried to cut down a side aisle to avoid some of them and nearly tripped over some mid-twenties woman sitting on the floor with all her belongings strewn around her reading a freaking magazine. She gave me that look like I was the person doing something wrong. Being the calm and relaxed person that I am I politely asked in my best Walmart voice "Are you sure you have enough room?" I hate when people attempt to ignore me as she tried to do so I continued with "Could you please more your ass so I can get by?" Again I got “the look” but she finally gathered her possessions and moved along. She left the magazine lying on the floor because God forbid she might have strained something important putting it back in the rack.
I saw her later loitering around in the Dunkin Donuts where she was huddled having a heavy duty conversation with a few of her freaky, pierced, and filthy friends. They were discussing the issues of the day concerning the real differences between having an actual Dunkin Donuts mug versus using the environmentally damaging Styrofoam. I again received "the look" as she whispered to her group to tell them what an asshole I was. I immediately got another look from all of them as a group which made me want to take a bow, but I didn’t.
In the back of my mind I was thinking the whole time that just maybe she was the owner of those wadded up panty hose and finding them was a karmic warning for me. Oh well, another minor annoyance sponsored by my local Walmart.
“Life is Good”, or so said on some A-hole’s T-shirt at the pharmacy. I hate being negative but in groups of more than two most people suck.
A beautiful day in the neighborhood.
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