This summer is passing quickly and the time seems to be flying by like never before. It’s amazing to me how our sense of time changes as a person ages. As a young child the days seemed long and the summers seemed to last forever. That summer school break always felt like a year to me. During my working lifetime things seemed to drag on and on endlessly except when I was vacationing. Work was always a definite time slower.
“How did it get so late so soon? Its night before its afternoon. December is here before its June. My goodness how the time has flewn. How did it get so late so soon?” ~ Dr. Seuss
After retirement I discovered something I never expected. Time has virtually ceased to be a part of my life. Shortly after retiring I discarded that timepiece I’d worn on my arm in many variations for five and half decades. That damn device that I looked at and worried over a thousand times a day. Most of us never realize what a hold the watch has over us and how obsessed we’ve become in wearing them. Not only do humans require a watch they won’t hesitate to spend thirty of forty thousand dollars for that extra special Rolex.
I’ve been a rather clumsy person since a very young age and that clumsiness made my ownership of hundreds of watches my curse and Rolex ownership a joke. It seemed that the more expensive the device I wore the quicker it became damaged or destroyed once it was strapped to my arm. In my twenties I became a Timex owner only because it made wearing a timepiece affordable.
“At the end of your life, you will never regret not having passed one more test, not winning one more verdict or not closing one more deal. You will regret time not spent with a husband, a friend, a child, or a parent.” ~ Barbara Bush
I can also remember that feeling I had when I was without a watch. It caused me a great deal of stress and concern and on those days when I wasn’t wearing one I was almost panicky. We were raised to know the time and to live by it in all circumstances. The words "Don’t be late!" and "Be on time!" were the mantra for an entire society. We were raised to always be aware of the time and to live our lives by that watch on our wrist. I remember many occasions when I became pissed off with a partner or spouse who continued to be late for appointments which in turn caused some really nasty arguments.
“Time is the coin of your life. It is the only coin you have, and only you can determine how it will be spent. Be careful lest you let other people spend it for you.” ~Carl Sandburg
It’s been six years since I stopped wearing a watch but you can never really escape this obsession. I do relish those weeks that go by and I’m forced to ask my better-half over and over again, “Honey, what day is it?”. That’s a real form of freedom and a dash of mental health I’ve never had before. Unfortunately for the rest of you the ever vigilant manufacturers of this world continue to create a myriad of products that almost always include a digital clock. The coffee maker, the stove, the TV, the stereo, the VCR, a ball point pen, the computer, the IPad, IPod’s of all sizes, and even on a reproduction of a 1930’s classic radio. It’s apparent we can’t live without timing ourselves. A clock in every room, next to our beds, and everywhere else. Even my favorite digital camera insists on getting involved by telling me the time on each and every photograph I take.
The more I think about our societies obsession with time the more I realize that my obsession that causes me to fret over that problem is just a time obsession of another sort. As a last thought on Time I refer you to Mr. Steven Wright who puts it all into perspective for me:
“I went to a restaurant that serves ‘breakfast at any time’. So I ordered French Toast during the Renaissance.”
TIME TO GO!
Now that my better-half has returned home from her trip our lives have slowly normalized somewhat. She has returned to work after much whining and complaining and is back to her old self. I’ve returned to my projects again after pretty much ignoring them for a week. Don’t forget her vacation was also my vacation.
The garden is growing wild and today I finally spent three hours on my hands and knees pulling weeds. Don’t misunderstand me, I pulled thousands of weeds, enough to fill the trailer pulled by my lawn tractor. It was extremely hot and in just a few minutes I sweat through my clothing. I have to admit it felt pretty good to be digging in the dirt because it’s one of those times that allows my body to do it’s routine work and all the while my mind is elsewhere. It takes a good hour of this kind of work to calm me down and allow me to really relax. It’s unfortunate that I didn’t discover this outlet a few decades earlier than I actually did. Once again my father was right but I wasn’t listening as usual.
As you can see the frames are slowing filling with beautiful green plants of all kinds. I’ll probably begin picking, blanching, and freezing kale this week. After it’s washed and blanched I can cut it into strips and freeze it. It’ll make for some really flavorful soups this coming winter.
I was forced out of necessity to take the pruning shears to the mint patches. They grow so damn fast and if not properly controlled will take over the entire garden. It makes working out here really pleasant when all you can smell is the aroma of peppermint and spearmint. From the looks of things it’s going to be an unbelievable year for the herbs. I replanted a number of oregano plants after losing a few last winter and the way these things are growing I’ll eventually have enough dried and stored to last me for two winters.
After all of the weeding was completed I returned to the houses to take a quick shower, make a close check for any of Mother Nature’s little friends (ticks), and to rehydrate. The next thing on the agenda was to rack off the dandelion wine once again. It’s clearing nicely and the color is spectacular. Now, if it only ends up tasting as good as it looks. I’ve been disappointed a few times in the past when a gorgeous batch of wine has ended up tasting like battery acid. I’m crossing my fingers again and hoping for the best.
We’re expecting a beautiful weekend and I’m sure we’ll be visiting the beach and hitting a few yard sales and flea markets. The better-half has the weekend off for a change and we can have a little quality time together. Sunday is approaching and we’re looking forward to babysitting the grandson for a few hours to give his parents a little breather and some alone time together. It’s something all of us need. We just have to search out those things that’ll give our minds a little peace and quiet. I consider my self fortunate to have a number of outlets like that to clear my mind and keep me mentally calm and fresh.
In just a few short weeks the festivals will begin in earnest. Almost every weekend from now until mid- October has a festival of some sort scheduled somewhere in Maine. Every small town and community has one and it’s a great way to support the local farmers and artisans. Good food, beautiful summer weather, and communities who love to celebrate and share their community spirit with visitors. It doesn’t get much better than that.
Every guy loves ogling beautiful women and that includes me. It’s been that way forever and I don’t see it changing any time soon. Woman claim to dislike being stared at but do they really mean it? Victoria Secret’s success has made that claim a little less believable. I’ve had them try to tell me that they wear makeup, revealing clothing, and expensive hair styling just to look good for other women. Do you buy that? Not a chance. They want to be stared at, whistled at, and ogled just as much as the men enjoy doing it. It’s that famous “dance” that the sexes do in a age old mating ritual. If you look good then your choice of mates increases exponentially.
I must say that it’s a fine line for a woman to walk. If you get too revealing you look like a slut. Most guys looking for a serious relationship wouldn’t be drawn to the slutty woman but also wouldn’t hesitate making the occasional booty call to one after a night of drinking and increasing horniness. What most women don’t seem to get is the desire by many men for an attractive, well behaved, and friendly woman who sheds those attributes upon entering the bedroom and turns into a sex crazed slut. I know it isn’t rally fair to all of you women but unfortunately it remains true.
There’s a rule of thumb you’ve probably heard, KISS (Keep It Simple Stupid”. Over the years I’ve developed five simple and easy rules for women to help them have a modicum of success in attracting a possible long term mate.
Rule 1 – Look good but not too good. Just slutty enough to make his mouth water and to keep his fantasies percolating.
Rule 2 – Be flirty but not too dirty or off color. Just a hint of the “bad girl” is usually enough to drive most men over the edge.
Rule 3 – Drink enough but don’t get sloppy drunk. No one wants to have the woman they’re hoping to have sex with throwing up on them. Don’t laugh, it’s happened to me.
Rule 4 – Lay off that constant stream of foul language except in the bedroom. Be coy at first and then turn into that bedroom slut he’s been hoping and searching and wishing for.
Rule 5 – You may be more sexually experienced than he is but don’t show off. Save some of your better moves for later when he’ll thinks he’s the reason you’ve decided to do them.
I’ve always been partial to women who look good but not too good. I love a woman who wears her hair long because I find long hair very sexy. It’s an old Victorian fantasy of mine where you spend a great deal of time peeling off layers of clothing and after all that work she lets down her hair down and you’re good to go. Gives me the shivers just thinking about it.
“With the narrower silhouette, emphasis was placed on the bust, waist and hips. A corset was used to help mold the body to the desired shape.
“Skirts were supported by a hybrid of the bustle and crinoline or hooped petticoat sometimes called a “crinolette”. The crinolette itself was quickly superseded by the true bustle, which was sufficient for supporting the drapery and train at the back of the skirt.”
“The Victorian Version of the J-LO look.”
Well back to topic. I’ve had dealings with a few women in my life and they’ve fallen into any number of different categories. Beautiful, fugly, and all points in between. Each one was a totally different experience, some good and some really effing bad. They can try and deny their innate desire to attract men but down deep in their hearts they know its the truth. They want a good man in a good relationship with kids, a dog, and the white picket fence. After all of that they also want to be the biggest slut they can be in the bedroom and have a man who’ll appreciate it.
SURPRISE LADIES . . . THAT’S WHAT WE WANT TOO
The monsoons of Arthur have finally left this area and are on their way to Nova Scotia. Three and a half days of rain were badly needed but OMG. My nice little garden and the better-half’s flower gardens look like the jungles of Vietnam. It’s hard to believe that they can grow so quickly when doused with copious amounts of water. You’ll see with today’s photo’s that I may need a machete to get around in there.
I planted a variety of kale plants this year that a week ago were four inches high. Today they measuring almost 14 inches. I’ll be harvesting them sooner than expected and the freezer will be filled very quickly.
The herbs are out of control as well and it’s obvious I’ll be able to restock a large part of my dried herb collection and be more prepared than ever for the coming Winter.
I harvested almost three pounds of rhubarb seeds yesterday which I’m slowly drying in one of the cold frames. After a few days of direct sunlight they should be ready for storage until next Spring. I plan on planting as many as possible around the property because my goal is to have a huge patch of rhubarb within the next two years.
The better-half’s flowers are beginning to bloom everywhere. The assorted colors of these day lilies makes picture taking a real pleasure. I especially love the dark red ones.
I normally plant three zucchini plants each year and harvest probably 5 or 6 zucchini’s per plant. This year I was given a great deal on plants and ended up buying a few extra. As you can see I’ll be knee deep in zucchini in just a few weeks.
I’d like to keep posting but I’ve got three hours of weeding and general maintenance in that garden. The better-half returns tomorrow morning from her trip and I’d like to get these tasks out of the way before then.
My week of freedom is almost over and in a another two days things will be back to what we call normal with the arrival of my better-half from LA. My week of loafing is ending and thankfully so has the rain and wind of Arthur. It wasn’t until the third day of rain I even knew about Arthur because I was ignoring the television as much as possible. My only connection to the outside world was my phone and I was desperately trying to ignore that as well. I spent a lot of time on the Internet trying to resolve issues with the Adobe Corporation and a purchase I made. Here’s my sad story which should be a warning to you all about their company and it’s approach to customer service.
Last week I made the mistake of attempting to buy software on-line and to download it direct to my computer. I’ve been using Adobe’s Photoshop Elements for years to catalogue and store my photographs. I decided that maybe it was time to convert from Photoshop Elements 7 to the new version Photoshop Elements 12. That was my first mistake.
I checked a few retailers on-line and found the price to be hovering around $100.00. I told my better-half that I wasn’t comfortable with downloading the program directly and I drove to Best Buy to see if they had it in stock. I found Adobe’s Premiere Elements 12 and made the purchase for $75.00. I headed home very proud of the money I’d saved. I got home, installed the software and surprise, surprise, it was the wrong product. Adobe in it’s typical retailer wisdom named two products in a similar fashion and I was I unobservant enough to fall for it.
Premiere Elements 12 is a program for cataloging and editing videos and not still photographs. I felt stupid and a bit embarrassed by my mistake and decided to let it go and take the loss. But Adobe suckered me a second time with a pop-up add during the install to download the product I was actually looking for a price of an additional $99.00. Being frustrated and pissed off I gave them my credit card number and began the download. I’d now spent $180.00 dollars.
That was the beginning of three days of BS in trying to deal with a company that has turned over the majority of it’s customer service duties to a live on-line chat only. It’s almost impossible to talk to a human being except in chat mode. I was at my wits end because the download wasn’t working as advertised and their method of copy protection was pure insanity. After hours of frustration and waiting on the telephone for forty-five minutes I finally connected with some company representative who’s grasp of the English language was almost non-existent but was to expected when you live in the suburbs of New Delhi, India. I became a bit rude and belligerent and demanded an effing refund since my credit card had been immediately charged $105.00 for that second product.
It took two days for their investigation to verify I didn’t have a working copy of their damn Photoshop software and my refund was finally posted 48 hours later. By then I was feeling highly agitated, used, and abused. The biggest problem in this whole scenario is that their product is the best on the market and I still wanted it. I tried not to think about it anymore because it was sending my blood pressure through the roof.
Another week passed and I was still looking around for a solution to my problem when I found a site that would permit me to upgrade my existing copy of the Adobe Elements 7 at a cost of only $69.99 as a direct download from Adobe. At no time during this fiasco was that option every mentioned to me by Adobe which pissed me off all over again. I refused to be baited a second time with another download and let it go once again.
Two days later I happened upon a deal I couldn’t refuse. eBay came to my rescue when I found a vendor in the Midwest selling a package deal of photo editing software. They offered Adobe Photoshop Elements 12, a Roxio editing program, and a Font package, for $49.00. I made that purchase and it’s now on it’s way to me as we speak.
I have only two things to say to end this rant. Adobe Photoshop software is the best around but the Adobe company and it’s employees suck. That is my humble opinion and I’m positive they could care less. Their approach to business is to make as much money as possible as fast as possible and the hell with the customer. My second comment is a warning for anyone buying on-line. Many companies use the Internet as a device where they can disconnect from their customers. Shop around for the product your wanting to purchase but don’t buy directly from the manufacturer. It’s similar to going to a car dealer to get your car repaired. The only certainty is that you will be overcharged and treated as a second class citizen.
In all my years of Internet crawling and making purchases this was my absolute worst experience. I’m stuck using Adobe software but I won’t buy any new products from them in the future. Just an awful few days that could have been handled easily by a company that actually cared about their customers.
Thanks for nothing Adobe.
I’m sitting here quietly writing this blog on the 4th of July as I try to do every year. I’m thinking about my late grandfather (born on the Fourth of July) and whose birthday we always celebrated along with the country’s. All too often in the past I’ve fallen into the flag waving routine as many others do. I love this country and as always I’m proud to be an American (95% of the time) even though Democrats and Liberals make 100% an unreachable goal. I can accept that because the alternative is unacceptable.
I think on this day we should all be flying the flag and celebrating our independence. As screwed up as we seem to be at times I still wouldn’t want to be living anywhere else. If you do, then your dumber than I imagined. I’ve traveled inside and outside the country enough to know the majority of our people don’t realize just how good they have it. Move to the Middle East, maybe try Africa, how about Indonesia, or even Europe. Count me out. We may have some issues here but compared to the rest of this miserable planet we’ve got it made. Period, end of discussion.
I decided to forego photographs and heart rendering monologues about the United States because they’ve become a bit trite over the years. And secondly no one really gives a damn about what I think anyway. I’d rather hear directly from our forefathers and a few others who seem to have understood things a lot better than most. Listen to them…..
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The American Revolution was a beginning, not a consummation. ~Woodrow Wilson
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Freedom has its life in the hearts, the actions, the spirit of men and so it must be daily earned and refreshed – else like a flower cut from its life-giving roots, it will wither and die. ~Dwight D. Eisenhower
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In the truest sense, freedom cannot be bestowed; it must be achieved. ~Franklin D. Roosevelt
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This, then, is the state of the union: free and restless, growing and full of hope. So it was in the beginning. So it shall always be, while God is willing, and we are strong enough to keep the faith. ~Lyndon B. Johnson
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America is much more than a geographical fact. It is a political and moral fact – the first community in which men set out in principle to institutionalize freedom, responsible government, and human equality. ~Adlai Stevenson
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May the sun in his course visit no land more free, more happy, more lovely, than this our own country! ~Daniel Webster
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Where liberty dwells, there is my country. ~Benjamin Franklin
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The winds that blow through the wide sky in these mounts, the winds that sweep from Canada to Mexico, from the Pacific to the Atlantic – have always blown on free men. ~Franklin D. Roosevelt
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My God! How little do my countrymen know what precious blessings they are in possession of, and which no other people on earth enjoy! ~Thomas Jefferson
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We need an America with the wisdom of experience. But we must not let America grow old in spirit. ~Hubert H. Humphrey
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Those who deny freedom to others deserve it not for themselves. ~Abraham Lincoln
I never thought I’d see the day when Bill Clinton was quoted on this blog because I wasn’t a big fan when he was in office and for the most part I’m still not. My grandfather always told that “Even a blind man can find a pearl once in a while”. Here’s Slick Willy’s one and only pearl:
There is nothing wrong with America that cannot be cured by what is right with America. ~William J. Clinton
And finally a quote from my all time favorite quoter who frequently offers up a taste of good old American common sense:
“I prefer liberty with danger to peace with slavery.” ~Anonymous
HAPPY BIRTHDAY AMERICA & YOU TOO GRAMPS
If I sound a little happy today there’s a good reason. I just dropped my better-half at the Portland Jetport (that’s Maine’s way of saying airport) and she’s winging her way to the left coast for a week of fun and frolic with her son. They have quite the trip planned that includes a drive to Las Vegas to see a few shows and lose a few dollars. As I ‘m writing this she should just be landing at O’Hare in Chicago. Then she’s off to LA LA land to enjoy the sunny weather, the warm ocean, and a host of diverse weirdo’s. She should be able to teach them a thing or two about what weirdness is really all about because she’s a pro.
“Remember honey, what happens in Vegas stays in Vegas.”
It’s a vacation for her but it’s also one for yours truly. A total week of no C&W music blaring throughout the house and no one constantly looking over my shoulder. Besides, just mentioning that little tidbit is sure to get a rise out of her. Just to make sure she doesn’t get too upset with my sarcasm I thought I should roam the Internet to collect a few expert opinions and quotations on vacationing separately.
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Taking time alone is a positive sign that the spouses are acknowledging and honoring each other’s careers and likes.
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Taking separate vacations enables a person to understand that spending too much time together may hurt any relationship. “A couple needs time apart as much as time together.”
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“What makes a relationship juicy and exciting are the different perspectives and experiences we bring to it. You need the separateness to appreciate the togetherness.”
In my humble opinion these quotations are almost word for word what I was thinking all along. I’m glad I found an expert or two who were able to word it just the way I was thinking it (sarcasm off).
I see a week of total relaxation. Also, this week will be clothing-optional around the house because I’m in total agreement with good old Benjamin Franklin who was an advocate of what he called "air baths". Amen to that Ben!
I plan on hitting the beach here in Maine a few times and should have quite the collection of photo’s to show for it.
“Remember honey, what happens in Maine also stays in Maine.” LOL
For now the cat and I will spend a great deal of time relaxing on the deck. I’ll be reading a book or two and he’ll be chasing the occasional bird or squirrel. He’s pretty lazy and will probably just end up napping the entire week away in any one of his numerous sleeping spots.
I may break out the margaritas one night and make some smoking hot tacos with a side of salsa or maybe even some kimchee. Eat and drink until I drop then climb into a hot bath with a glass of really good brandy. Now that’s what I call a vacation.
I’d like to keep writing but it’s the first night of my vacation and I want to relax and enjoy it. I may even dig into my bag of fireworks and wake up the damn neighbors in the wee hours of the morning. After all it’s Fourth of July week and I intend to celebrate that birthday all week.
FLY YOUR FLAG PROUDLY
&
HAVE FUN LOVEY
Do you ever feel the need to get away, to hide from the world, or to avoid the people you care most about? It happens to me periodically for no apparent reason and at odd times. I normally just disappear from the house proper and take refuge in my man-cave but that doesn’t work as well as it once did. It seems that other people, including a rather inquisitive grandson have figured out my secret hide-away. When that happens my last resort is to take my camera and head for the woods.
Yesterday was one of those days when the better-half was working and I was tired of gardens, gardening, household fix-it jobs, and the occasional unexpected telephone call. I told no one where I was going, packed up my gear, turned off my cell and hit the road. It was hot and humid and I didn’t care at all if anyone knew where I was going. After arriving at my destination I parked my car, sprayed myself from head to foot with bug repellent, grabbed my camera and disappeared into the woods. It’s one of the reasons I love living in Maine. There are more woods here than I could ever visit in my lifetime.
I’ll give you a short walk-along as I made my way through a number of trails, two swamps, and my favorite blackberry patch. The bugs were out in large numbers but the repellent kept most of them at bay. Since this Spring has been a wet one the woods are lush and green. I didn’t walk twenty feet before I discovered these wild daisies.
I found a patch of these smaller yellow flowers as well and I have no idea what they are or where they came from. I do know they’re very delicate and love being photographed.
The trails are over grown in places and it was dead quiet. I visit this spot every so often because there are so few people who even know it exists. It’s just me, the bugs, and the occasional wildlife visitor.
I was especially interested in visiting the swamps. It’s a little early for the dragonfly population to be booming but I thought I’d check it out anyway. I’m fascinated by them and have hundreds of photos in my files. Unfortunately the swamps today had almost no dragonflies at all. I found that a little unusual but I’ll try again later in July when it gets a little warmer. As I neared the first swamp I saw this wild Iris just sticking up out the water all by lonesome.
A few steps further on and I almost stepped on this bull frog who was hiding in the weeds near my feet. He refused to move so I took immediate advantage.
I made my way a short distance to the edge of the Scarborough River and Marsh. It’s a thousand acres of a fresh water marsh with a water connection to the open ocean. Beautiful scenery as far as the eye can see.
I followed anther trail that took me along the river and then inland to a second swampy area. Again no dragonflies just another big fat bull frog who refused to look my way. He sat quietly and gave me the cold shoulder until I left the area.
I decided to make my way back to my vehicle and along the way check out my favorite blackberry patch. Over the years this patch has supplied my better-half and I with dozens of jars of delicious jam that is to die for. It’s a huge patch as you can see and it is loaded with berries that should begin ripening in big numbers in a month or so.
That was a photo of the patch but here’s one of the berries I intend to pick and eat in a few weeks. I can’t wait to make more jam and freeze a few quarts of those big fat berries for use on my morning cereal. There’s nothing better.
I headed home with a few dozen photo’s and a better outlook on life. Being in the woods has always supplied me with that clarity of thinking that’s so important.
I still find my life difficult after six years of being retired. First of all I never expected to ever be retired and honestly thought I would have died long before this. For a change it’s nice to be wrong about certain things.
Adjusting my day-to-day existence from being an over achieving workaholic to a gardening, bird watching, and laid back retiree has been interesting and at times distressing. I now understand that my high blood pressure issues were probably responsible for my former fast paced life style and the workaholic obsession.
“The garden is producing already. I just thought I’d brag a little.”
But with my slowed down and medicated lifestyle I’m now a much more calm and controlled person. Yesterday I spent a good part of my day taking photographs. I was able to spend more than an hour taking pictures without ever leaving my yard. I’ve never had the luxury of free time like this and it still makes me feel guilty as if I’m being lazy and unproductive. I’ll show you a few of my photo’s and you can judge for yourself if it was worth my time. After looking at them I found myself very happy with the results and felt the time had been well spent. See what you think.
I’ve placed numerous bird houses on the property and this year we have a number of winged residents living with us. I’ve come to find out that birds can be a vicious bunch. They’re very territorial especially when they’re nesting and protecting newborns. This first photo is of a mother spending twelve hours a day coming and going to feed her recently hatched babies.
This second photo is that same mother protecting those young from an intruder. Two years ago this same bird had two nestlings killed by a bird of the same species. I found their little corpses in the nest after the birds left on their southern migration. I finally had to replace the box because they refused to come near the old one even though I’d cleaned out the old nest and dead babies. The first year after replacing that box they returned and took possession of the new one once again. They seem to be much more protective these days than in the past and rightly so.
Hopefully within a few weeks we’ll have a few little ones making a racket as they mature and prepare to leave the nest. That’s assuming no further catastrophes occur such as other birds or the neighbor’s cat. I might be forced to put a few Be-Be’s in the ass of that damn cat to help them a little if necessary.
I then moved through the garden to an area with freshly blooming day lilies. They are some of my favorite flowers for photographing. The colors are just so vibrant and beautiful I can’t resist them.
Lets get just a little closer to see more of Mother Nature’s finest work.
It’s these things that help keep me sane. I could easily roam for hours taking pictures of anything and everything and never be disappointed.
After a day of doing this I’m not quite so discontented with retirement. Doing things I never thought I’d have the opportunity to do is even cooler than I imagined. I do miss working more than I thought I would but it’s all a matter of adjusting to change. I’m almost there.
A few days I ago my better-half and I were sitting in a local restaurant chatting up one of her co-workers. During that conversation her friend casually asked me if I’d made any New Year’s Resolutions. I can’t remember exactly why she asked but I answered with a yes. Obviously she’s never read this blog because I post them every January for all to see.
We returned home and during the ride I decided to check the archives and do a mid-year review of my resolutions for 2014 just to see how I’ve been doing. Let’s start with this one:
1. Read five books a month.
So far I’m on track with this resolution even though I lost my Kindle reader on my trip to Texas. Now that I’m able to once again read my Kindle books from three additional devices I should have no trouble successfully completing this one.
2. Teach the grandson one curse word per month once he begins talking.
I think I jumped the gun on this one because he has yet to start speaking clearly enough to begin cursing. I may have to wait for 2015 to get this one accomplished. This one is a big FAIL so far.
3. Keep the number of F-bombs below 100 a week.
So far I’m succeeding on this one but just barely. For the year it will be too close to call since it’s difficult not to use my favorite word at every opportunity. The question isn’t using it too much, it’s having too many reasons to use it at all. If people aggravated me less this one would be a snap.
4. Drink less brandy than last year but more than next year.
I’m doing well on this one thanks to my weight loss program. I’ve pretty much given up drinking the hard stuff and have returned to sipping the occasional glass of wine. Boring but healthier.
5. Spend less than $300.00 at Dunkin Donut for the entire year ($25.00 per month).
Since we purchased the K-Kup coffee maker I’ve cut my Dunkin Donut spending by two thirds. I can make excellent coffee at home now and not be forced to spend two dollars a cup elsewhere. Hooray for me.
6. Stop dancing naked near the picture window in the living room. It scares the neighbors if their complaints mean anything at all.
I seem to be failing miserably on this one. I just can’t seem to keep my clothes on and may have flashed my new and smaller ass to the neighbors and a few lucky passersby. I’m trying to behave but I suspect this will be a FAIL once again. One of my better-half’s resolutions is to buy and install window coverings this year but I haven’t seen them yet. I wonder how much the neighbors will complain if they never get to see my ass again.
7. Fight to my last breath to keep chickens and goats from becoming part of my life.
I’m crossing my fingers on this one for now. The better-half has been putting serious pressure on me to get chickens and goats. The negotiations have progressed to where she’s agreeing to no goats if we can just get a few chickens. My negotiating position has remained the same from the beginning – NO FREAKING GOATS OR CHICKENS. For this year I will accomplish this resolution but I’m losing the battle little by little.
If I counted correctly, I’m keeping up with five of my seven resolutions but I suspect I may lose some ground during the remainder of 2014. The road to hell really is paved with good intentions.
How are you doing with yours?
Do you even care?
Probably not!
everyuselessthing.com 