Archive for the ‘beer’ Tag
Here’s my second installment of Beer Trivia that I faithfully promised my better-half I would post in order to get my butt out of the dog house. I’m hoping this will be sufficient to put me back into her good graces. I know, I’m so whipped I can hardly stand it. I feel my manhood slowly slipping away until nothing will be left but a screaming little girl with five o’clock shadow.
I hope all of you beer lovers out there find these tidbits interesting. I may never understand it because I’m really not a beer lover. I’m not even a beer liker. Here, goes.
-
In the past English pub crawlers had a whistle baked into the rim of their ceramic cups. When they needed a refill, they used the whistle to get some service. "Wet your whistle" is the phrase inspired by this practice.
-
In the Czech Republic, beer is cheaper than Coke. A half liter at a local pub costs just 30 cents while a half liter of Coke costs 85 cents. Beer is a little more expensive than club soda (which costs 29 cents, for a half liter).
-
A labeorphilist is a collector of beer bottles.
-
A tegestologist is a collector of beer mats.
-
A flood of beer swept through the streets of St. Giles, England, on 17 October 1814. Caused by a rupture in a brewery tank containing 3500 barrels of beer, the tidal wave killed nine people and demolished two houses.
-
The first six-pack of beer was produced by the Pabst Brewery in the 1940s. The brewery conducted numerous studies, which found six cans were the ideal weight for the average housewife to carry home from the store.
-
In eleventh-century England, a bride would distribute ale to her wedding guests in exchange for donations to the newlyweds. This brew, known as Bride Ale, is the origin of the word ‘bridal’.
-
One method of checking a beer’s quality is the way in which the foam adheres to the side of the glass after each sip. Beer connoisseurs call this “Brussels lace.”
-
1888: Citizens of Munich took to the streets and rioted after a beer price increase was announced.
-
Czechs drink the most beer in the world per capita – an average of 160 liters a year per person.
-
In old England, inns paid a government tax known as a ‘scot’ for serving beer. Beer lovers who left town to drink at rural pubs were said to be drinking ‘scot free’.
-
Beer recipes have been found on Babylonian clay tablets from over 6000 years ago.
-
Guinness sells an average of 7 million glasses a day worldwide.
-
The British Army supplied its men with a cash allowance for beer, considered a vital nutritional staple on long overseas missions. With this allowance of one penny, soldiers enjoyed six pints of ale every day.
-
In ancient Egypt, two containers of beer were the minimum wage for a day’s labour.
-
A barrel contains 31 gallons of beer. What Americans commonly refer to as a keg is actually 15.5 gallons, or a half-barrel.
-
A 12 oz. of a typical American pale lager actually has fewer calories than 2 percent milk or apple juice.
-
The world’s strongest beer is ‘Samuel Adams’ Triple Bock, which has reached 17% alcohol by volume. To obtain this level, however, they had to use a champagne yeast.
-
The ’33’ on a bottle of Rolling Rock was originally a printer’s error. It refers to the 33 words in the original slogan. It has generated enough mystery over the years that the company left it in the label.
That finishes my penance for writing a lengthy posting on female breasts. I’m not saying this kind of circumstance won’t happen again but I promise to do do my best to behave. I haven’t had much success with that since about the age of three but I’ll continue to try.
I think I’m in the proverbial dog house after yesterdays posting on female breasts. My better-half was not too pleased with that posting so I’ve got to be punished. It’s something that happens between us every time I step out of line which occurs more often than I care to admit.
I’ve been thinking of possible ways to calm the waters but my choices are somewhat limited. I finally realized that the thing she loves most in this world (after me I hope) is beer. What could I possibly write about beer to make her happy. Besides giving her a case of cold beer wrapped in a ribbon I actually considered having a tap installed on the kitchen sink. Hot water, cold water, and beer at the ready for quick access. I decided that was a little more than she actually deserved after putting me on the defensive like this.
My solution is the beer trivia collection that follows. I found so many interesting beer facts that this will be Beer List #1. I’ll follow with the second half of the list in a week or so. Hopefully this will end the cold shoulder treatment and get me back into her good graces. We shall see.
-
According to The Code of Hammurabi of ancient Babylonia (c. 1750 B.C.) a merchant could be put to death for diluting beer.
-
1810: Munich establishes Oktoberfest as an official celebration.
-
A beer lover or enthusiast is called a cerevisaphile.
-
After consuming buckets of aul (or ale), the Vikings would head fearlessly into battle, often without armor or even shirts. In fact, "berserk" means "bare shirt" in Norse, and eventually took on the meaning of their wild battles.
-
Historians report that during the Middle Ages, when monks were brewing their beer in their monasteries, each monk was allowed to drink 5 quarts of beer a day.
-
A beer a day… Beer was used to treat over 100 illnesses in Egypt, 1600 BC.
-
In the 13th century, King Wenceslas convinced the Pope to revoke an order banning the brewing of beer in Czech territories (no wonder he was known as ‘Good King Wenceslas).
-
In 1116 BC, Chinese imperial edict stated that heaven required people to drink beer.
-
In English pubs, unruly customers were told to mind their own pints and quarts and settle down – and so began the phrase "mind your P’s and Q’s.
-
Before thermometers were invented, brewers would dip a thumb into the mix to find the right temperature for adding yeast. Too cold and the yeast wouldn’t grow; too hot and the yeast would die. This ancient practice is where we get the phrase ‘rule of thumb’.
-
Cenosillicaphobia is the fear of an empty glass.
-
In a Czech beer house, the bartender will refill your glass every time you empty it until you place your coaster on top of your glass, signaling that you have had enough.
-
The first brewery in America was built in Hoboken, New Jersey in 1642.
Germany serves beer ice cream in popsicle form. Its alcoholic content is less than that found in "classic" beer.
-
Saint Arnold, a bishop born in 580, is considered the patron saint of beer. He encouraged people to drink beer instead of water during the Plague.
-
Anheuser-Busch is the largest brewery in the US.
-
If you collect beer bottles you’re a labeorphilist.
-
The most expensive beer in the world? It’s called “Tutankhamen” and is prepared according to the recipe recovered by a group of University of Cambridge archaeologists in Queen Nefertiti’s Temple of the Sun in Egypt. It costs US $52 a bottle, and is produced in limited and numbered edition.
-
The pilgrims landed at Plymouth Rock because they ran out of beer. Although they planned to continue down the east coast, the Mayflower’s log explains the passengers "were hasted ashore and made to drink water that the seamen might have the more beer".
-
The music for "The Star Spangled Banner" was derived from a British drinking song called "Anacreon".
-
Assyrian tablets from 2000 BC stated that Noah was carrying beer aboard the ark.
-
The United States two-dollar bill features three brewers: George Washington, Thomas Jefferson and Samuel Adams. In fact, George Washington installed a brew house on his grounds at Mount Vernon.
-
The longest bar in the world is the 684 foot long New Bulldog in Rock Island, IL.
There you are my darling. A partial list of beer related facts and lore that should stop this madness. Please welcome me back into the fold with a big wet sloppy kiss and a huge hug. I promise to try harder to be the boring and uninteresting person you’re looking for. How’s that for a half-assed apology.
On top of everything else, I really hate beer.
Yesterday’s posting was all about my misadventures in the land of female fantasies. I think I learned a little from some of the comments by my female readers and I appreciate that. I’m pretty sure none of the information will improve my sex life but I do feel a little smarter than I did yesterday. Today is a new day and my interest has changed into a discussion of why men feel fortunate to be men.
It makes no sense for me to try and create a list of men’s sexual fantasies. The list would be endless and as all of you women out there suspect many of the fantasies would be more than a little perverted. So my job today is to explain simply and unprevertedly (my new made up word) why we’re so happy to be men.
After cruising around the net today I found a few interesting sites that contained discussions and suggestions on the reasons why men are happy to be men. Some of the reasons are funny, some are stupid, some are ignorant, and in my humble opinion they’re all true. I’m sure most men will agree that the following list is closer to the truth than we’d like to admit. I found hundreds of reasons articulated by many intelligent and semi-intelligent people but eliminated pages full of the more stupid and senseless. I settled on these twenty to try and make my point. They are listed in no particular order of importance. Just finish this sentence:
WE LOVE BEING MEN BECAUSE . . . . . .
- The world is our urinal and we’re not afraid to use it.
- We can buy condoms without cashiers trying to picture us naked.
- We can rationalize any behavior with the phrase "Screw it."
- We require movie nudity to be female and frontal.
- A week long vacation requires only one suitcase.
- All of our orgasms are real.
- A beer gut doesn’t make us invisible to the opposite sex.
- We have the ability to pee alone.
- No one secretly wonders whether we swallow.
- We can be showered and ready to go in 10 minutes.
- If we’re in our thirties and single, nobody notices or cares.
- We can write our name in the snow.
- We get to think about sex 90% of our waking hours.
- Three pairs of shoes is more than enough.
- We don’t give a rat’s ass if anyone likes our hair.
- We can sit with our knees apart no matter what we’re wearing.
- We don’t have to leave the room to make a crotch adjustment.
- If we retain water, it’s in a alcoholic beverage.
- We’re never not in the mood for sex.
- Porn movies are designed with our mind in mind.
I’ll apologize now to all of you female readers. I actually feel bad for you because some of these reasons are pretty cool but you’ll never get to experience or appreciate them like we men do. You just need to remember that there are just as many pluses in being a woman as a man and I’m sure I could compile a pretty good list. I’ll give it a little more thought over the next few weeks and possibly come back with a list for you ladies.
Shopping in January. The temperature is nineteen degrees with a wind chill of nine degrees. Are we effing crazy? That would be a huge yes. We were out of the house running errands where we rode around in a nice warm car, would run into a nice warm store, and then return to the nice warm car. Sounded like an excellent plan to me but then again, what the hell do I know. Out of the blue my better-half decided to let me know she was jonesing for fresh crabs. Could we swing by the docks in Portland to the fish market and pick up a few? What was I going to say?
As we entered the city there were a surprising number of people roaming the streets. There must have been some kind of political protest going on because we saw a number of folks carrying their home-made signs and waving at passing traffic. It’s nice to see that those “Occupy Portland” idiots have found something to do through the winter. Fortunately the turnout must have been rather low because there didn’t appear to be any delays with traffic flow.
If you’ve ever been to Portland, Maine you must be aware of the constant parking problems. It’s ten times worse in the winter when a large number of parking slots are filled with piles of snow and ice. We got lucky and found a spot after 15 minutes of cruising around. They still get to take a shot at you for parking violations due to a stupid two hour limit on their meters. I firmly believe that the town council and politicians are paid from the parking ticket fund. I saw no less than four meter readers (parking Nazi’s) on one street dropping $25.00 tickets everywhere.
My better-half had the audacity to say “I think we should walk around for a while.” My only reply was “Are you kidding me, it’s effing cold out here. Find a store and go in.” So she did. We were then in and out of a handful of odd little shops with off-beat merchandise and really high prices. We found a place called Pandemonium which is the ultimate shopping experience for over priced crap. I again was placed in a position where I had no choice but to buy something. I found an ugly little pig clock for my better-half’s Valentines Day gift and a bottle of habanero hot sauce with a really scary warning label. The cost of those two items could have kept my car gassed up for two weeks. Highway robbery!
I could see in her eyes what was coming next. It was two in the afternoon and she was dreaming of those stupid crabs and a cold beer. We swung by the fish market where I remained in the car. I hate going in there because even on a good day the smell is awful. She was back in a wink with no crabs. Apparently it’s too cold for crabs too and there were none available, Boo Hoo!
We then arrived at a local tavern, Three Dollar Dewey’s, that we visit whenever we’re in town. A quick drink, some fish and chips, and then home.
I have to admit it was fun to get out of the house for a while. I have one additional question for you women out there. What would possess any women into going out into this cold weather wearing only a cardigan sweater, a pair of black, skin tight leotards, and a pair of Ugg boots. I saw at least four women dressed in that outfit scurrying along bitching and complaining about the cold. I’ve always said I didn’t understand women and I still don’t. You could freeze your Who-Ha right off if you had one.