There once was a woman named Bess
For whom holiday cooking meant stress.
Five puddings, ten turkeys
And a thousand beef jerkeys –
Bess did tend to cook to excess!
Archive for the ‘limerick’ Tag
🌲Christmas Limerick🌲 4 comments
🌲Christmas Limerick🌲 Leave a comment
With the holidays on the horizon,
I placed 20 calls to Verizon.
They stuck me on hold
Til my dinner got cold.
And I still absolutely despise them.
🌲Christmas Limerick🌲 Leave a comment
When Rudolph got hurt in a fight
He couldn’t lead Santa that night
Too much Christmas cheer
And eggnog, and beer,
His red nose was shiny, all right!
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The Bad Elf
There was an elf too tired to work,
He called Santa a big fat jerk.
He grabbed up some toys,
Making almost no noise
And fled to Club Med with a clerk.
🌲Christmas Limerick🌲 Leave a comment
Old Santa got drunk on warm ale
“I’m too old for Christmas” his wail
“But what of the toys
For the good girls and boys?”
“I’ll have Amazon send them by mail!”
11/28/2021 🌲Christmas Limerick🌲 Leave a comment
I thought I would kick off the Christmas season with a proper limerick: 26 Shopping days to go . . .
There was an old elf named Bing
He was good at only one thing
He was clumsy with tools
And broke all the rules
But boy could that son-of-a-bitch sing.
🍗Thanksgiving Limerick🍗 2 comments
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11/22/2021 🍗Thanksgiving Limerick🍗 Leave a comment
11/21/2021 ***1st X-Mas Limerick Alert*** Leave a comment
The drinks left for him by each bed,
Had gone straight to old Santa’s head;
He was found off the road,
With an upside-down load,
And himself slumped, dead drunk, in his sled!
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