Archive for April 2015
With a major warming trend gripping Maine I was swept away with a huge dose of Spring Fever this week. I moved my grill from storage, cleaned it up, and cooked my first feast for 2015. I spent some quality time on the deck reading one of my favorite books with my favorite lazy cat. Life was slowly improving and I began to throw off those Winter doldrums.
I decided that since a great deal of the snow had disappeared I’d take a trip to the coast to look around a little. I worked my way up the coast to the inlet where the great Scarborough Marsh empties into the Atlantic Ocean. This inlet is populated by a large number of lobster boats and their owners and is the area where you can buy the freshest lobsters in town. There was a lot of activity in the harbor with the boats being cleaned and readied for the warmer weather.
As you can see by these photos it was a gray day but slowly showing some signs of Spring. I should have known better than to get my hopes up because the weather in Maine is nothing if not fickle.
I awoke yesterday prepared to face the day and to begin the cleanup of my yard and garden. How stupid am I? I walked to my bedroom window, looked out, and saw an overnight deposit of four inches of snow. WTF!
Now I’m once again depressed and irritated. While listening to the radio today I heard about the Freezing Rain Alert for tomorrow where high winds, sleet, and power outages are expected. What did we ever do to deserve this I wonder?
I think it’s time for me to sit quietly, sip a glass of my favorite brandy, and relax so my head doesn’t explode.
Over the years I’ve read on a number of occasions about people with addictive personalities. These are people who are drawn to addictive behavior and activities for some unknown reason and can’t ever stop being addicted to something. I’ve finally decided to admit that I may be one of them.
My first major addiction started when I was just turning twelve years of age. Both of my parents were smokers and so were my grandparents. This was before anyone was aware of the dangers of smoking and we all thought it was pretty cool. Most of my friends smoked as well and we spent more time stealing cigarettes from our families than we did actually smoking them. I was so good at taking their cigarettes they never had a clue. It wasn’t until many years later that I told them about it and we all had a laugh or two. It was either steal from them or take a chance of being caught shoplifting in a store.
There was and still is a price to pay for such behavior and I soon found out what karma was all about. My best friend at the time was my partner in crime and karma reared it’s ugly head in the following incident we were involved in. It occurred at our elementary school where we accidentally started a fire in a nearby field while sneaking a cigarette that burned that field just prior to the annual Easter egg hunt. Lots of fried eggs, firemen, and police officers are all I remember about that day. Karma can be a real bitch.
Marijuana was next on my list and I did my best to smoke as much of it as possible over a five year period. I slowly weaned myself from both marijuana and cigarettes and finally kicked both nasty habits. I dabbled with alcohol as well a for a while but I could never get into the projectile vomiting thing.
After cleaning up my act I fell into two new addictions which I still have to this day. I’m John and I’m a chocoholic and caffeine addict. I just can’t stay away from these wonderful things and I promise I never will. Unfortunately it may require that I be buried with a bag of Hersey kisses and a hot cup of Hazelnut coffee. I won’t even get into my bacon issues which are even worse. It seems like every addiction I’ve ever had has been bad for me and that pisses me off. Why can’t I find a really healthy addiction?
My latest and possibly most boring addiction won’t kill me but it does irritate and annoy me. It’s called Words With Friends, a computerized take off of the old Scrabble game and is played on Smart Phones and Tablets.
I’ve tried on a number of occasions to quit but I keep getting pulled back into it by my friends and family members. It’s maddening at times because it requires that I respond in a reasonable fashion to their game play. There have been times that I’ve had as many as ten games going on at the same time and at that point it becomes more of a chore than fun. I want to stop but the ever present peer pressure to continue is there and plays heavily on my competitiveness. It becomes even more ridiculous when friends and family members become upset with me if I decline to play or if don’t do an immediate rematch.
I need to find a new addiction and fast. I’ve never been addicted to sex like some people but I could easily be pulled in that direction. Even that seems like too much work if you think about it. I want a lazier addiction that I can enjoy without it becoming strenuous.
I’m being forced to continue my never-ending search but in the meantime does anyone out there know a good four letter word that contains a "Q", an "X", and a "J"?
Where’s that twelve step program when you need one?
I’m posting late today because it’s just been one of “those” days. I had the day planned out and thought I’d be free and clear of all my chores before noon. Boy was I ever mistaken.
You need to understand one important thing when you listen to me whine about my day. I may be the clumsiest person you’ve ever heard about. I walk into things, fall over things, slip and fall on ice, and also slip and fall on dry pavement. It’s a curse but after so many years I’ve made a number of adjustments in my behavior to protect myself. I forgot to pay attention today and the day was one damn thing after another.
I planned on changing the oil in my lawn tractor today and after reading the users manual I was filled with confidence and sure it would be an easy fix. I entered my work area and fired up the mower to pull it outside. Who forgot that a large window was leaning against the front of the mower. I traveled no more than six inches when I heard the loud crash. Glass everywhere and that special window I’d been saving for more than a year for another project was destroyed. Ten wasted minutes doing the cleanup and I suffered only a minor cut on my hand which bled for twenty minutes.
Back to the mower. I jumped back on to move it outside the house and the stupid thing wouldn’t start. I was forced to push the damn thing out of the shop and ended up tearing the leg of my jeans on a protruding screw. I then was on my hands and knees under a workbench looking for a can of oil and as I grabbed the can and stood up I hit the top of my head on the workbench. Nothing serious, I saw a few stars and continued on. That kind of thing doesn’t bother me at all any more. It happens all the time. Swearing at the top of my lungs I quickly stood up and discovered the lid on the oil container hadn’t been tightened and I spilled oil all over my shirt, on the work bench, and onto the floor. Twenty more minutes to clean up that mess and I was ready to begin actual work on the mower.
Now it’s noon time and I haven’t accomplished much of anything. At one in the afternoon I finished the oil change without further incident. I was intending to replace a damaged part on the grass collection system and after two additional minor cuts, a sore finger pinched by a pair of dangerous pliers, I had the old piece removed and the new piece installed.
All in all my day was a total waste of time. I never was able to get the damn mower restarted because I came to find out the battery needs replacing. Off to Lowe’s to drop another $40.00 bucks on a new freaking battery, a quick stop at Rite-Aid for more band aids, and a third stop for an emergency bottle of brandy.
Tomorrow is another day and I’ll try again to accomplish something that won’t require bandages or hospital visits. I can deal with a minor blood loss but anything more serious than that will just piss me off all the more.
So I ‘m posting late this evening and it’s a miracle I didn’t trip over something while walking over to the computer and break a bone or two.
Wish me luck.
Sixty plus degrees. That’s all I have to say about yesterday. I’m just about over this stupid virus that’s been kicking my ass for the last two weeks. Combine that with the warm weather yesterday and guess what you get. The largest most contagious case of Spring Fever ever experienced. I guess the longer and more oppressive the winter the more intense is that first burst of Spring Fever. Man I’ve got it bad.
I spent a good part of the day yesterday just wandering around the yard in a T-shirt with no gloves, no hat, and no parka. As I slowly strolled between the remaining piles of snow I could see that blessed light at the end of the tunnel and no, it isn’t a train coming toward me it’s Summer.
I couldn’t stop myself from going with the feelings and actually started cleaning up the winter debris strewn about the yard. I picked up tree branches and pine cones of which there were thousands. I’ve never seen so many freaking pine cones in my life and they will certainly require an major investment of my time to pick them all up. That should tell you just how bad my Spring Fever really is that I’m actually looking forward to doing it. I find that a little disturbing to say the least.
I then decided to get my riding mower out of mothballs and ready for use this summer. I filled it with gas, checked the oil, and reconnected the battery. I was just standing there enjoying the warm air when I was overcome with love for that stupid tractor. I hate to admit this but I found some rags, soap, and car wax, and went a little crazy. That tractor got a hot bath and a good scrubbing, was dried off, and waxed to a high sheen. How sad is my life?
I need to pace myself a little better or I’m going to lose my mind. I actually found myself drawn to the seed packet display at Walmart a few days ago. They were silently calling to me to buy, buy, buy. I maintained what little control I had left and just “Said No” and walked away. Unfortunately my better-half is worse that I am when it comes to Spring garden purchasing. We both need some sort of twelve step program to help us through the next two months and to keep us from overspending like we do every blessed year.
I just received a giant package in the mail today and had to help the mail carrier bring the box into the house. It’s the new part I ordered a week ago for my sweetheart, the mower. Now she’ll be even prettier than usual as I cruise around the yard making the neighbors oh so jealous.
Eat your hearts out people, if freaking Spring Time.
I suppose I could try and pull some lame April Fool’s joke but I won’t. I already got suckered once today on Facebook. Some moron sent an post that Tom Brady had announced his retirement from the Patriots. A-hole me immediately clicked to the site to read the news and got the big flashing screen with APRIL FOOL on it. It still never feels good making an ass of yourself but you’d think by now I’d be considered a certified expert.
“Sap collections continue.’
We had a new baby arrive this week and on top of all that excitement I received a formal letter from my dentist to announce his retirement. Every thing seems to balance out no matter how stupid it is. Life just continues rolling along and dragging us along as well.
‘Even the court houses allow their trees to be tapped by the locals.’
The flu and virus epidemics running rampant through the family continues apace. All of the youngsters are over the worst of it but we adults are getting hammered hard. We’re all hoping to be on the mend for Easter but who really knows. Maybe grandson #1 will bring us another dose of something from that disease factory they call Day-Care. I know it’s necessary for the kids to build a strong and healthy immune system by catching all of these viruses but c’mon. My immune system has never been required to respond to so many different things in my life. If I survive all this nonsense I should have an immune system strong enough to make me bulletproof.
‘My favorite farm stop for spices, jellies, and home grown fruit.’
The sun is shining during the day but our nights remain below twenty degrees and I’m soooooooo tired of freezing my ass off. I need some warm temps, open windows, and fresh air. I took the grill out of mothballs yesterday and cooked our first burgers and sausages for 2015. They tasted great and were cooked perfectly. I was a little worried that the tassel hat, parka, and gloves might make cooking a bit difficult. What harm can a splash of hot grease do to my new gloves?
With the better-half working an evening shift I think I’ll be chilling a bottle of my pomegranate wine. Then over to Amazon Prime for a movie or two and some total relaxation.
everyuselessthing.com 