Today is Sunday, a day to relax and enjoy some trivia. It’s also necessary for me to help celebrate a family birthday, so I too can relax and enjoy this little bit of sunshine we’re having. It won’t be long before the snow flies. Enjoy . . .
A Crocodiles tongue is attached to the roof of its mouth.
A group of larks is called an exaltation.
A kangaroo can’t jump unless its tail is touching the ground.
A male emperor moth can smell a female emperor moth up to 7 miles away.
A man had the hiccups for 69 years.
A millipede has 4 legs on each segment of it’s body.
A mole can dig over 250 feet of tunnel in a single night.
A monkey was once tried and convicted for smoking a cigarette in South Bend, Indiana.
A noisy restaurant is 100,000 times as loud as a watch ticking. Rock Concert 1,000,000,000 times as loud. Loud headphones 10,000,000,000. Shotgun blast 1,000,000,000,000
A person at rest generates as much heat as a 100watt light bulb
A group of owls is called a parliament.
A pregnant goldfish is called a twit.
A quarter of Russia is covered by forest.
A raisin dropped in a glass of fresh champagne will bounce up and down continually from the bottom of the glass to the top.
A rat can last longer without water than a camel.
A rhinoceros’ horn is made of compacted hair.
A Saudi Arabian woman can get a divorce if her husband doesn’t give her coffee
A shark can detect one part of blood in 100 million parts of water.
A group of ravens is called a murder.
A shark can grow a new set of teeth in a week
A silicon chip a quarter inch square has the capacity of the orignal 1949 ENIAC computer, which occupied a city block.
A sizable oak tree, during the typical growing season, gives off 28,000 gallons of moisture.
A snail can have about 25,000 teeth
A group of toads is called a knot.
About 300 million cells die in your body every minute.
I’m sitting here today and enjoying my weekend. With winter bearing down on us and those delicious cold winter nights in my immediate future, I’m excited. Today I want to talk about sleeping naked. Sleeping naked is something that I’ve done my entire life except for a couple of years in the Army and a month here and there while in training as a police officer. I absolutely love it but I’ve been unable to do it for the last 18 months. Following my many issues with my cancer diagnosis I’ve been forced to sleep in a pair of shorts. I don’t think I need to explain why. Since most of my medical nightmares are ending my body is finally returning to normal and I’m about to give up the shorts and really enjoy this winter and the cold nights the way they ought to be enjoyed.
Over the years I’ve wasted many hours attempting to explain to certain individuals that sleeping naked is the only way to go. Why is it that most people become so set in their ways they can’t change no matter how good the argument might be for them to do so. Sleeping naked just seems to me to be the most natural and comfortable way to become completely rested. I’ve known some people who came to bed dressed for battle. One in particular loves wearing a long-sleeved T-shirt, full-length sweatpants, and usually a pair of totally unfashionable and ugly socks. Who in God’s name could possibly relax and get a good nights sleep dressed in an outfit like that? It’s even more of an issue if you’re coming to bed expecting a sexual encounter. It would take 20 minutes to find everything you’re looking for.
Nudity is the main issue I suppose. Why are people so repressed sexually and consumed with body image? I’ve known drop-dead gorgeous women who were so attractive they could’ve have any man they wanted for a sexual partner. They still choose to hide under the covers and are fearful of being seen naked. The old saying “if you’ve got it, flaunt it.” apparently doesn’t apply to everyone. On the reverse side of this issue I’ve known a few women who were anything but runway models and they spent more time naked than I did. Don’t even get me started about the arguments I’ve had about whether the lights in the bedroom should be on or off. It’s just nuts!
There’ve been famous people throughout history who loved being naked and weren’t afraid to admit it. Even one of our illustrious forefathers, Benjamin Franklin, when ambassador to France, was known to take on a daily basis what he called an “air bath”. He once wrote to the French physician, Jacques Barbeu-Duborg, describing it: “I rise early almost every morning and sit in my chamber, without any clothes whatever, half an hour or an hour, according to the season, either reading or writing.” On more than one occasion over the years I’ve tested his theory and I’m here to tell you he was absolutely right. It’s just a simple fact that doing things naked is way better than doing it clothed.
Let me throw a few quotes into the mix just to make things interesting:
“What spirit is so empty and blind, that it cannot recognize the fact that the foot is more noble than the shoe, and skin more beautiful than the garment with which it is clothed?” Michelangelo
“I come from a country where you don’t wear clothes most of the year. Nudity is the most natural state. I was born nude and I hope to be buried nude.” Elle MacPherson
“Government, like dress, is the badge of lost innocence.” Thomas Paine, ‘Common Sense
“I get it, man, I do. Sleeping next to a naked woman is one of the best things about being a man, if not the best. But as a woman I don’t want to do it. I need a barrier of pajamas. When I woke up this morning naked, I just felt gross. Men sleep naked, I think, because they are sweaty human beings who perspire like a Tour de France cyclist through the night. Have you ever smelled a guys sweaty sheets?” Anonymous
I suppose that last quote embodies everything I disagree with in one paragraph. Everyone is entitled to their opinion but OMG could that opinion reflect any more inaccuracies and biases? I’m willing to stand up and say “Men are not sweatier or grosser than women .”Have you ever smelled a guys sweaty sheets?” What arrogance. Women smell the same as men and if they’re the least bit concerned with their partner’s body odor, tell them to get up and take a shower. Join them if you must and have a little fun while you’re at it. If everyone takes a bath or shower and then “stinky” is no longer an issue. You make love, roll your butt out of bed and take another shower if you must. Common courtesy is the most important thing when sharing your bed and a bit of bodily fluid whether clothed or unclothed.
I am a proud citizen of the great state of Maine. I’ve lived here now for 21 years and it’s even more interesting than you might think. As in every other state in the United States, Maine has its peculiarities. Some people may think they’re stupid and others might consider them quaint but that’s just an individual’s judgment call. The state of Maine has been around a long time and has many laws on the books that are absolutely ridiculous. Fortunately most of the ones I’m going to introduce you to now are not enforced. Thank god.
In Maine, it’s illegal to step out of an airplane once it’s in flight.
In Maine you will be fined if your holiday lights are left up any later than January 14.
In Augusta, it is illegal to walk down the street playing the violin.
In Freeport, don’t you dare “expectorate” out of any second story window.
In Wells, Maine, you may not place an advertisement in the cemetery.
In Maine, it is illegal to keep an armadillo as a pet.
In Waterville, it’s illegal to blow your nose in public.
In Portland, you better not use a feather duster to tickle under the chin of a woman.
In Rumford, it is illegal to bite a landlord under any circumstances.
In Portland, shoe laces must be tied when walking down the street.
In Hollowell, it is illegal to park your horse “up wind” on a windy day.
In South Berwick, it is illegal to park in front of Dunkin’ Donuts.
In Waterboro, dog leashes may not be over 8 feet in length.
So much for their host of stupid laws, let’s look now at what some Mainers consider tourist attractions. Who am I to dispute these kind of crazy claims. If nothing else these tourist attractions are worth a few yucks.
Maine experiences the first sunrise in the US, you should go to Mars Hill, Cadillac Mountain, or Lubek to properly start your day..
Maine is the closest state to Africa.
A giant boot outside L.L. Bean in Freeport, Maine is a size 400 (Extra Wide).
On US Route 1, 7 miles south of the intersection with US Route 2 in Houlton, you’ll find a tree decked out with pairs of hanging shoes.
The world’s largest Paul Bunyan statue is a roadside attraction in Bangor, Maine.
On Peaks Island, there is an entire museum devoted to umbrella covers.
Well, I think that’s enough excitement for me for a while. You should rush right out and make reservations to come to this glorious state next summer to seek out these incredibly silly tourist attractions. Having that much fun could be hazardous to your health.
Lobsters, Lighthouses, Scenic Shorelines, and one small Amusement Park
I’m sitting here in my man-cave reading a novel that is quite romantic. I’m not a usual reader of romance novels but there’s a reason I’m reading this one. For the last nine days in a row my better-half has requested my presence to watch Rom-Coms after dinner. I have to admit that I enjoy some of them but the great majority are kind of trashy and stupid. She insists that these movies are the epitome of romance, I couldn’t disagree more. Over the years I’ve been called many things, some good and some not so good by a variety of ladies. I can honestly say I have never been called romantic and again I disagree with them as well. In my opinion women should not be the final word on whether a man is romantic or not. On one or two occasions I’ve actually had women call me out in front of others for being unromantic, and for the last time I again absolutely disagree.
I recall an old movie that I thoroughly enjoyed watching starring Steve Martin and Daryl Hannah called Roxanne. It was a mushy silly takeoff on some Shakespearean story and at one point in the story Steve Martin serenaded Daryl Hannah at her bedroom window. If that’s a requirement for being identified as romantic, forget about it. I may be a lot of things but a singer I’m not. If I attempted to serenade a woman two things would immediately occur. First, she would cover her ears and slam the window shut. Secondly, the police would arrest me for “disturbing the peace” and “being a public nuisance”. So scratch serenading off my list of romantic things I could do.
I love reading but reading Shakespeare and stuffy poetry aloud to a woman I’ve just become interested in isn’t going to happen either. I’m more likely to recite some of my own poetry which is usually funny and a little off-color. You know what I mean, “There once was a man from Nantucket . . .”. Strike two for me. Maybe my critics were right after all. Allow me to continue my thought processes before you make your final decision.
I’ve been known to create a CD or two filled with romantic Lionel Richie love songs which I must say works like a charm. I’ve also been known to send flowers on occasion but unfortunately only to my mother on Mother’s Day.
Quite a few times in the past I’ve given IOU’s to various women for foot rubs. I’ve been complimented numerous times about my delicate and sensitive touch but I’ve never fully explained to most of them about my harmless but fun foot fetish. That’s my little secret.
Body massages are always a great approach for intimacy with many wonderful advantages available if done properly. Just so you know, I can massage with the best of them. So give me some points for that.
Taking a woman to dinner can be a pleasurable experience as well. It’s also a pretty good way to guilt them into sex. Spend $20 for the meal and you’ll likely get a long leisurely French kiss at the door. Spend $50 and you get an invitation to come in and play “slap and tickle” on the couch for a while. Spend over $100 for the meal and purchase an expensive bottle of wine and you’ll be swept into the “Promised Land” on the ‘Wings of Angels”. Been there and done that too.
Take them to a movie after that good meal and make sure it’s a tear-jerking “chick flick” and your golden. Dropping a few tears during the love scenes is perfect. Pretend to wipe the tears from your cheek so she can’t see you doing it, but make sure she does. A good meal, a bottle of good wine, a mushy movie, and a tear or two, and she’s yours for the asking. Now, if that’s not romance I don’t know what is.
So what have we learned about me. I like good food and good wine – Check! I like movies – Check! I like to spend time with women – Check! I write off-color and funny poetry – Check! I like massaging the naked bodies and feet of women – Check! I can drop a tear or two if necessary – Check! I like sex – Check! I can sleep over or go home immediately after sex – Your choice!
I know that some of you are going to find this hard to believe but as a child of two I was a serious problem for my mother and father. The term “Terrible Two’s” really meant something to them as they reminded me so often over the years. I was a bit rebellious even then and stayed that way for most of my adult life. In 1948 I was two years old and it was also a year of transition for the country due to the end of World War II. Here are a few facts and figures from 1948 for your amusement.
Harry S. Truman was named President of the United States but never appointed a vice president when he first took over the office after the death of FDR. The population of the United States at the time was 146,631,000.
The number of births recorded in that year were 3,637,000.
There were 563,000 males graduated from high school as did 627,000 females.
Average salary for a full-time employee was $2900.00 and the minimum wage per hour was $.40.
The Cleveland Indians defeated the Boston Braves in the World Series.
And in NFL news, the Philadelphia Eagles defeated the Chicago Cardinals to win the championship..
The PGA championship was won by Ben Hogan.
The popular word game Scrabble made its debut in 1948 and soon became the source of stimulation and fun for families on cold winter nights. Many of the favorite toys of the time were interactive and included Lincoln Logs, the game Cootie, Jack-in-the-Box, model airplanes, and electric trains.
The Hallicrafter Company developed and marketed a small television with a 4 inch screen (B&W Only) that was more affordable and convenient for some families.
Terry Bradshaw, of the Pittsburgh Steelers, was born on September 2. Ozzy Osbourne, rock singer and musician, was born on December 3. Samuel L Jackson, actor, was born on December 21 and Orville Wright, aviation pioneer, died on January 30, 1948.
Here are some prices you can hardly believe: a loaf of bread-$.14, a pound of bacon-$.77, a pound of butter-$.87, a dozen eggs-$.72, a gallon of milk-$.44, 10 pounds of potatoes-$.57, a pound of coffee-$.51, 5 pounds of sugar-$.47, 1 gallon of gasoline-$.26, movie tickets-$.36, postage stamps-three cents, and average family car-$1250, and last but not least a single-family home-$7700.00
During a Yankee Stadium anniversary event on June 13, 1948, Babe Ruth stepped to the microphone, thanked friends and fans for their support, and retired. On August 16, at 8:01 p.m. he passed away.
The 1948 Winter Olympics were held in St. Moritz, Switzerland, and were the first Olympics since 1936, due to World War II.
The Summer Olympics were also revived, with London hosting the games. For the first time the games were televised allowing Americans to view athletes from the United States and 58 other nations. Germany and Japan however were barred from participating. The United States closed the games with 84 medals, 38 of which were gold, making America by far the top medal winning nation.
On May 14, 1948, Israel declared its independence, technically ending it’s civil war, but the conflict between Arab and Israeli groups continued.
The World Health Organization was established on April 7, 1948.
The Lone Ranger, The Green Hornet, The Adventures of Sam Spade, and Inner Sanctum, were some of the favorite radio stars and shows of 1948.
The top hit song of the year was “Buttons and Bows” by Dinah Shore.
Some of the most popular movies for the year were Abbott and Costello Meet Frankenstein, Fort Apache, Key Largo, The Three Musketeers, and The Treasure of Sierra Madre.
So ended my Terrible Two’s which allowed me to move up to my Terrible Three’s and then my Terrible Fours. I pretty much stayed “Terrible” until Monday of last week.
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