Archive for August 2022
I feel the need to distribute a little more useless information today. There seems to a never-ending supply which I will happily make available to as many people as possible. Some of this information was also supplied by my all-time favorite writer, Isaac Azimov.
- The foundations of the great European cathedrals go down as far as 40 or 50 feet. In some instances, they form a mass of stone as great as that of the visible building above the ground.
- While Columbus was seeking new worlds to the West, Italian engineers were rebuilding the Kremlin in Moscow.
- The number of possible ways of playing just the first four movies on each side in a game of chess is 318,979,564,000.
- There were more than 100 distinct ethnic groups in the old Soviet Union.
- The Pacific Ocean fills nearly a complete hemisphere of the Earth’s surface.
- Because of the story in Genesis that Eve had been created out of Adam’s rib, it was widely believed during the Middle Ages that men had one fewer rib than women.
- Immediately after the end of the American Revolution, Congress abolished the United States Army, the Navy, and the Marine Corps, leaving the Congress itself as the only national government organization. They feared a standing army.
- When Thomas Jefferson became president, in 1801, 20% of the people in the United States were slaves. There were 5 million people in all.
- It was only in 1968 – 43 years after the Scopes “monkey trial” – that the state of Tennessee abolished its anti-evolution law and accepted the doctrine of evolution.
- “Red Tape” the rigid application of regulations and routine, resulting in the delay in getting business done, got its name from the color of the tape that was commonly used to tie official papers. The term was in use as early as 1658.
Well, for all of you trivia lovers out there you’ve just received your daily fix of totally useless information. My supply never seems to run low and more will definitely follow.
ENJOY YOUR WEEK
I decided that it was time to post a few limericks collected from a small and damaged book I discovered some months ago. It was published in 1980 and contains over 150 of the lewdest limericks I’ve ever seen. The great majority are so nasty I wouldn’t dare post them here, but I’ve found four of the more acceptable ones to give you an idea what I’m dealing with. Tell the kids to leave the room. Rated at least an “R”.
A worried young man from Stamboul
Discovered red spots on his tool.
Said the doctor, a cynic,
“Get out of my clinic!
Just wipe off the lipstick, you fool.
🍆🍩🍆
In the Garden of Eden lay Adam,
Complacently stroking his madam,
And so loud was his mirth
For on all of the earth
There were only two balls – and he had’em.
🍩🍆🍩
There was a young girl in Berlin
Who was fucked by an elderly Finn.
Though he diddled his best,
And fucked her with zest,
She kept asking, “Hey, Pop, is it in?”
🍆🍩🍆
There was a young man from Purdue
Who was only just learning to screw,
But he hadn’t the knack,
And he got too far back
In the right church, but the wrong pew.
🍩🍆🍩
AND THESE WERE THE TAME ONES
As I was looking through some old boxes and albums recently, I time traveled back to the days of my youth. Trust me it was a long, long, long time ago – circa 1946. So, in celebration of my recent birthday I put together this quick summary of the year I was born.
- It was peace time in American after World War II but that didn’t slow the politicians down too much. President Truman seized the mines after employees rejected government-negotiated contracts and costly strikes hit General Motors, Ford, General Electric, along with meatpackers, musicians, longshoremen, railroad workers, coffin makers, and in Washington, DC, taxi drivers.
- The Army and Navy were granted permission to manufacture atomic weapons.
- On May 2, in San Francisco, Marines landed on Alcatraz to battle armed convicts in an attempted jailbreak.
- Pacific tidal wave kills 205 in Hawaii.
- On July 1 the United States detonated a bomb, the Bikini Helena, beneath the Pacific at the bikini atoll.
- In France, the Cannes Film Festival was held for the first time, after its debut was rudely delayed by Hitler’s invasion of Poland.
- Admiral Byrd led an expedition to the south pole.
- Penicillin was synthesized for the first time by a United States chemist Vincent Du Vignea.
- The three top billboard stars were Perry Como, Dinah Shore, and Frankie Carle.
- In baseball, it was the American League over the National League, 12 to 0, in the annual All-Star game.
- In pro football, the Chicago Bears bagged the National Football League title for a record sixth time.
- The movie It’s a Wonderful Life debuted.
- The top box office celebrity was Bing Crosby.
- Consumers in New York reported eating horse meat as America’s meat and poultry supplies hit an all-time low. While poultry prices reached a dollar a pound, ceiling prices on choice cuts of horse were $.17-$.21 per pound.
- On a shopping spree Cashmere and wool mufflers cost $6.50. 16mm movie projectors were $56.75. A party dress cost $14.95. A set of hickory skis came in at $9.95. A fancy Stetson felt hat could set you back a whopping $6.00.
And last and most importantly: I was born on August 8 (Baby Boomers Rule!).
IT’S FUN TO LOOK BACK, BUT NEVER TO GO BACK
I’m a huge collector of useless information and have been for many years. The more obscure the information the better I like it. These following tidbits contain true information that is not well known but still very interesting. I could write a paragraph on each item to explain the sources but it’s entirely too much work for me. Any blog that writes long and involved articles has a problem. The longer it takes to read my entry the less people will read it. It’s just a fact of life for any blogger.
- The United States imprisons more of its population than any other country.
- Barbie is based on a German sex doll.
- One in three American homeless men is a military veteran.
- The government can take your property without even charging you with a crime.
- Cigarette butts are the most common type of litter.
- The Patriot Act is used in cases that have nothing to do with terrorism.
- Well over 300,000 tons of chemical weapons have been dumped in the sea.
- Out of every 100 people, ten weren’t fathered by the man they believed is dad.
- Head transplants on monkeys have already been performed.
- For over 100 years, almost every discharge of waste into US waters has been illegal.
The book is 50 Things You’re Not Supposed to Know authored by Russ Kick. It makes for an interesting read.
I HOPE YOU’RE ALL SURVIVING THIS DAMN HEATWAVE
I am a longtime lover of feet. When most guys were scoping out boobs and butts, I was looking for women wearing sandles. I’m not sure why or when I developed this love of feet, but it started at a very young age. Over the years it has been a wonderful addition to my dating repertoire. With that in mind here are some odd facts about feet you may not have been aware of. Read on and be converted you butt loving and boob loving men (or women). It’s all good.
- The world’s tallest man, Robert Pershing Wadlow (8’11”) wore size 37 shoes.
- In many Asian countries is considered the height of rudeness to let the soles of your feet face another person.
- Your foot and ankle together contain 26 bones.
- The Achilles tendon is the longest and strongest tendon in your foot. The tendon is named after the Greek warrior who was killed when he was hit there with an arrow.
- The skin on the soles of your feet is .2 inches (5 mm) thick.
- Athletes foot can cause intense itching and pain. It is a fungus that grows between your toes because it likes the dark, moist conditions found there.
- It takes 20 muscles to hold each of your feet together and allow them to move as in dancing, running, and skipping.
- Getting “cold feet” means you want to back down or walk away from something you had planned to do.
- Your toes can get into lots of trouble. You could have hammer toes, claw toes, and overlapping toes, not to mention ingrown toenails. In some cases, people have been known to have their second toe a half inch or longer than the big toe (you know who you are).
- If you have fallen arches, the arch of your foot has flattened. The entire sole of your foot is on the ground, so you don’t have a natural shock absorber system as you walk.
There you have a few oddities about feet. Most of the things I mentioned are a rarity and doesn’t do anything to disturb my foot fetish. I remain as always, a dedicated (disturbingly so) lover of women’s feet. Add to that bright red, blood red nail polish and I’m yours for the taking. LOL
EVERYONE NEEDS AT LEAST ONE INTERESTING FETISH
My favorite word today is “Raunchy”. It’s not a word that’s heard too often these days, but I’ll do my best to do it justice. Another of my favorite things are riddles. As a kid we enjoyed them, and they were always fun. I’ll merge them together and give you ten “Raunchy Riddles” from the 1980’s. Here we go.
What’s the difference between a porcupine and a Porche? The porcupine has pricks on the outside.
How fast can a girl go when she’s having sex? 68 . . . If she went 69, she’d blow a rod.
What do you call a Mexican with a vasectomy? A dry Martinez.
Why did the girl take a bath in peroxide? Because she heard that on the whole gentlemen prefer blonds
What can a girl put behind her ears to make her look sexy? Her knees.
What’s the difference between an epileptic corn husker and a hooker with diarrhea? An epileptic corn husker shucks between fits.
Why don’t men mind women claiming to be the foundation of our country? Because they know who laid the foundation.
What’s worse than a centipede with athletes’ foot? Captain Hook with jock itch.
What’s the French method of self-defense? Tung Fu
Why was the Duchess on her knees? She was down for the Count.
DON’T YOU JUST LOVE THE 80’S?
I’ll be the history fanatic today offering you a few facts that most people haven’t heard or read about. So, no run-of-the-mill stuff today. I hope you enjoy them.
1900
In Brussels, a young anarchist made an assassination attempt on the Prince of Wales. (Future King Edward VII). His Royal Highness reputedly explained, “Fuck it, I’ve taken a bullet.”, although he was in fact untouched.
1902
So numerous were the mistresses of Edward VII that at his coronation a special pew, known as the “loose box” was reserved for them.
1904
The French physician and psychiatrist, Madeleine Pelletier, A cross-dressing celibate feminist, became a Freemason, joining the Novell Jerusalem lodge.
1905
The 25-stone Chelsea goalkeeper, William “Fatty” Folkes, lifted a Port Vale forward off the ground and hurled him into his own goal. The penalty was awarded against Chelsea.
1905
Maurice Garin won the Tour de France, but four months later it was shown that he had traveled some of the route by train rather than by bicycle.
1909
On 12 December, King Leopold II of the Belgians married Caroline Lacroix, a prostitute who had borne him two sons. He died five days later.
1912
As soon as the Titanic went down, the White Star Line, the ship’s owners, stopped the wages of the crew.
1914
On November 4, a British attempt to capture the port of Tanga in German East Africa was repelled when the invaders were attacked by swarms of bees and were obliged to retreat into the sea.
1915
In New York, the French artist Marcel Duchamp submitted a work entitled Fountain to the Salon des Independents, which rejected it. The work comprised a porcelain urinal, signed by “R. Mutt”
Once again here is a collection of what the hell ever”. A mixture of stupid advertisements, bumper stickers, and whatever else I happen to find on my desk. TGIAF (Thank God It’s Almost Friday)
Newspaper Headlines
Statistics Show that Mortality Increases Perceptively in the Military During Wartime
Police Begin Campaign to Run Down Jaywalkers
Miners Refuse to Work After Death
Never Withhold Herpes from Loved One
Squad Helps Dog Bite Victim
😗😗😗
Newspaper Classified Ads
Two wire-mesh butchering gloves, one 5-finger, oine 3-finger, pair: $15.00
Bill’s Septic Cleaning – “We haul American-made products.”
For Sale – An antique desk suitable for lady with thick legs and large drawers.
Tired of cleaning yourself? Let me do it.
Man wanted to work in dynamite factory. Must be willing to travel.
😜😜😜
Malaprops From Grade School and High School Exams
Afterward Moses went up on Mt. Cyanide to get the Ten Commandments.
Most words are easy to spell once you get the words write.
The air is thin high up in the sky. Down here it’s fat.
Flying saucers are just an optical conclusion.
The Greeks invented three kinds of columns: Corinthian, Doric, and Ironic.
😏😏😏
THIS IS GOOD PREP FOR THE WEEKEND
It’s hump day, it’s humid, and a little gray outside. The perfect day to unleash a few adult limericks. I try to behave when posting limericks but today I just don’t care. Let’s let it all hang out and enjoy some lecherous and bawdy poetry. Forward all complaints to someone who cares. I no longer do.
A cheerful young golfer, named Jock,
Gave his ball a 300-yard sock.
It doesn’t sound far
For a chap who shoots par,
But was done with the end of his cock!
😏😏😏
I lost my arm in the Army,
I lost my leg in the Navy,
I lost my balls
Over Niagara Falls,
And I lost my cock in a lady.
😁😁😁
There was a young lady in Reno
Who lost all her dough playing Keno.
But she lay on her back
And opened her crack,
And now she owns the casino.
😊😊😊
There once was a versatile whore,
As expert behind as before.
For a quid you could view her,
And bugger and screw her,
As she stood on her head on the floor.
😜😜😜
Are you human? Has anyone ever honestly asked you that question? If someone ever does, ask for specifics. Being human is a ridiculously hard job since the body seems to be on autopilot most of the time. Breathing, digesting food, eliminating waste, and a host of other things. It goes about the business of keeping us alive and does what’s needed regardless of how we feel. It’s truly the only thing that keeps us alive regardless of how careless and stupid we are. Read on . . .
- Did you know that on average, the whiskers in a man’s beard grow nearly 6 inches per year?
- If you’re a man, and your index finger is shorter than your ring finger your one third more likely to be diagnosed with prostate cancer. Scientists think that men with longer index fingers have lower levels of testosterone, which offers some protection against prostate cancer.
- Human fingernails grow four times faster than their toenails.
- The only places on the human body where hair will not grow are the soles of the feet, palms of the hand, lips, and eyelids (not counting eyelashes).
- Did you know the heart mimics the music you listen to and can trigger physiological changes that increase or decrease your blood pressure?
- Your left lung is slightly larger than your right lung.
- The longest recorded bout of pickups lasted for 68 years. Charles Osborne, a hog farmer from Iowa began hiccupping in 1922 and didn’t stop until 1990 at age 97.
- Right-handed people live, on average, nine years longer than left-handed people.
- Redheads are more likely than other people to be left-handed.
- Human beings can survive longer without food than they can without sleep. The longest any person has gone without sleep not using stimulants or other drugs is 264 hours, or about 11 days. The longest a person has gone without food or water (total starvation) is 73 days.
TAKE CARE OF YOUR BODY, IT’S ALWAYS TAKING CARE OF YO
everyuselessthing.com 