Author Archive
It’s another cold and gray October day here in Maine. It was a frigid night and this morning everything was covered with a heavy frost. Since my better-half refuses to turn on the heat until later in the month I found it necessary last night to jack up my electric blanket to level six. It keeps the bed nice and toasty but I also seem to wake up every few hours when I feel my face beginning to freeze. I knew it was really cold in the house when the cat crawled into bed with me at 4 am and refused to leave. Now that I’m fully awake and have had my first cup of coffee it’s time to mention a variety of items which could possibly bore you to tears.
Yesterday we attended the second birthday party for the better-half’s grandson. It was a festive occasion for the family and friends who attended and we were surrounded by a gaggle of children who really were enjoying themselves. There were games for the kids, gift bags, and a pumpkin decorating session that was hilarious. It was a great day for all of the kids and even for some of the adults. I took over a hundred pictures that will need to be reviewed later today and that should keep me busy for a while. I’ll only post this one which shows the aftermath. The bigger the mess the better the party, right?

After saying our goodbyes to the birthday boy we left the party and decided to take a short drive through the woods to find some decent fall foliage photos. The entire morning had been cloudy and gray but as we pulled out of the driveway the sun came shining through the clouds. I’ll always wonder whether it would have gotten cloudy and gray once again if we’d have returned to the party. I hate coincidents like that. Here are a few of the photo’s from our ride.


This is a rare picture of the seldom seen “Red Breasted Maine Moron”. That’s anyone who water skis in Maine in October.

Now that Fall has officially arrived most of our outdoor activities will be curtailed through the Winter months. I’ve been posting journal entries for some months now documenting our Summer activities and it’s been a lot of fun. Since I’m not a person who enjoys frolicking in the snow my future journal entries may be limited. No snowmobiling, no ice skating, no skiing, no bobsledding, no hunting, and no ice fishing pictures. I think it’s time to return this blog to discussions of politics and politicians, trivia of all kinds, and the continuing criticisms of all things Hollywood. The celebrities have gotten a Summer pass from me and I feel the need to lash out at them once again.
I’m also in the process of setting up a Twitter page for this blog and will begin publicizing my postings there as well. I may even consider returning to Facebook sometime soon. I feel completely reenergized after a great Summer and I’m ready for the mid-year elections and all that that entails.

We’ve reached mid-October and I’m starting to see indications of that holiday freight train that is rumbling full speed towards us. I was tasked with an errand last night that required me to pickup my better-half who was attending a wedding of a co-worked in a town north of here. Darkness had fallen and our trip home took us through a number of neighborhoods and small towns. We were within a quarter mile of home when I spotted something that sent a cold shiver down my spine . . . a lighted Christmas tree in front of a neighbor’s home. These neighbors are the newest members of our little community and are folks who love to celebrate each and every holiday with decorations of all sorts hanging from trees, shrubs, and anything else that doesn’t move too much. It can be cute but also it’s also more than a little annoying just like that tree was last night.

During some of my shopping forays in recent weeks I’ve observed the expected Halloween and Thanksgiving craziness but Christmas rearing it’s ugly head this early in October is ridiculous. Having worked for many rears for retail companies I understand the management mentality in getting the jump on competitors. It just seems they’ve all picked up some of the more bothersome bad habits of the king of all retailers, Walmart. They seem to think that anything that Walmart does automatically become the final word in making money. Having spent six months in a Walmart management training program allows me to proclaim that Walmart is just as screwed up as any other company. Their saving grace secret is their size. When you’re as big as Walmart it’s much easier to hide your screw ups and bad decisions.

I have a sneaking suspicion that Sam Walton is probably spinning in his grave after watching what has gone on with his company. On my first day at Sam’s Club I was handed a paperback book on the life and times of their founder Sam Walton. I was ordered to read that book immediately and was questioned heavily on it’s contents throughout the training period. Almost all of the training tapes that were in use were tapes made by Walton himself who at the time had been dead for more than ten years. I was being trained by a dead guy in Walmart’s lame attempt to brainwash me into their world of retail. Just before my graduation from that training program I was on my way to work and wishing I wasn’t. Ten minutes after I arrived I walked into the General Manger’s office and resigned. I walked away and never looked back. They only succeeded in making me unhappy, miserable, and just a little crazy. I’ve never regretted my decision.

This isn’t a rant just about Walmart but a general disappointment with the cynical approach taken by almost every retailer. I think we can thank Wall Street and the Harvard Business School for a lot of these issues. The stock market virtually requires companies to meet expectations regardless of the methods used. The Harvard MBA’s that I’ve been involved with over the years were all young bean-counters of the worst sort. They’d gut a company, fire any number of employees, cut benefits, just about anything to help meet those Wall Street projections. People are just numbers to them and are treated accordingly. Is it any wonder things are the way they are.
So after saying all of that I hope you’re prepared for the avalanche of Christmas nonsense headed your way. Ten glorious weeks of Santa Clause, presents, endless TV commercials, and a hit to your wallet that will be larger than ever before. Oh yeah, I recently heard a nasty rumor that once upon a time Christmas had something to do with religion. How stupid am I?

It’s raining, it cloudy, it’s gray, and I’m suffering from a total lack of interest in just about everything. This change of seasons gets me down every year and has done so for as long as I can remember. It’s sort of become a really annoying tradition for me. I’ve always been told by others that traditions are the backbone of everything and with that in mind I guess I’ll celebrate that tradition with this new tradition.
You know what that means . . . . more totally useless information. There’s really no way to categorize this kind of stuff and I won’t even try. I’ll just put it out there for your enjoyment and you can decide if it’s worth your time or not. So, there will be no photographs today because I’m too preoccupied with being bored to be taking pictures. Let’s get started.
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28% of Africa is wilderness while 38% of North America is wilderness.
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On November 29, 2000, Pope John Paul II was made an honorary Harlem Globetrotter.
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Heavyweight boxing champion, Ken Norton, was rejected for the role of Apollo Creed in the 1976 film Rocky because he made the star Sylvester Stallone look too small.
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The largest fruit crop on earth is grapes – followed by bananas.
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No one knows exactly why a duck’s quack doesn’t echo.

I’m on my third cup of coffee, still in bed, and munching on a miniature lemon/poppy seed muffin. I just don’t get these small versions of normal muffins. People are only kidding themselves if they think it’s healthier to only eat these tiny little useless muffins instead of the real thing. Give me a big full sized, fat, sugary, crunchy muffin with two inches of frosting on it any day of the week. If you’re going to eat something sinful don’t mess around, go for it. Revel in the wickedness of your evil deeds. Forgive me but I seem to have wandered off the reservation a little due to the influences of this destructive and dangerous sugar I just ingested. Back to the point of this posting which as you should know is "there is no point".
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Actress Farrah Fawcett had a tap named after her – the gold plated Farrah Fawcet.
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The snow scenes in the film It’s a Wonderful Life were shot during a record heat wave in southern California.
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As of 2002, rats in New York outnumbered humans by twelve to one.
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A pigs orgasm lasts for thirty minutes.
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When press tycoon William Randolph Hearst sent a telegram to a leading astronomer asking if there was life on Mars and to please cable a thousand words on the subject, he received the reply, “Nobody knows,” repeated five hundred times.

It’s only proper when posting some useless information to end that posting with a big bang or three. There’s nothing better than a few really raunchy and bawdy limericks to kick start your day. Enjoy.
The derriere Doris displays
In the park never fails to amaze;
She flounces and bounces
Those wonderful ounces,
And old men are ecstatic for days.
* * *
There was a young virgin named Jeanie
Whose dad was an absolute meanie;
When he’d fashioned a hatch,
With a latch, for her snatch –
She could only be had by Houdini!
* * *
I’d rather have fingers than toes.
I’d rather have ears than a nose.
And, a happy erection
Brought just to perfection
Makes me terribly sad when it goes.
HAVE A GREAT DAY
With the weather slowly but surely changing from Fall to Winter the final work to harvest the last of the herbs and to compost the garden needed to be done. My better-half had the day off and we both knew we had a few hours of hard work ahead of us. It was the last of our major tasks for the Fall.

It was hard labor for a while as we shoveled compost into our small trailer and delivered it to the garden. Not only does the compost reenergize the soil but it also helps to refill the frames with much needed soil.

We filled the trailer three times which allowed us to cover the entire garden with approximately three inches of compost. We took special precautions with the rhubarb and asparagus because they require additional protection from the coming snow and cold weather.

In a day or so I’ll add some lime to the compost as well as a general fertilizer. Then I’ll rototill the entire mixture thoroughly and let it sit until Spring.
I wanted to dry and store more herbs but a surprise hard frost last week killed off ninety percent of my basil plants. Fortunately I harvested some of the plants before the frost but it still irritates me to see any of them go to waste. Mother Nature always seems to get her fair share of things whether we like it or now.

It’s difficult here in Maine for cold-sensitive plants to survive the winter but I’ll never stop trying to find a way. Instead of harvesting all of the Rosemary and Parsley I decided to compost the plants heavily and then later in the season cover them with a thick layer of leaves. I’m hoping that for once I can have a Rosemary plant that survives the Winter and is able to get larger and stronger each year. Probably just wishful thinking but we shall see.

‘Harvested, Cleaned’
Only about fifty percent of this parsley was harvested in the hopes that it would retain enough energy to regrow in the Spring. I cleaned and washed the parsley, removed the stems, and placed everything into the dehydrator. In four hours it will be dry enough to crush and place into air tight jar for later use.

‘And Dried’
Our harvested black beans have also been dried and stored. There seems to be more than enough for a few good meals. It was our first year growing them and we haven’t decided whether to plant them again next year.
Once all of the days labor was completed we sat down to relax, have a drink, and discuss possible improvements and repairs of the garden for next year. One of the most interesting possibilities is the construction of a much larger cold frame that will be eight feet long and two feet wide. This would allow us to grow a variety of lettuces and radishes well into late October and even early November. Anything we can do to extend the growing season is well worth the effort.
We’re almost ready for that damn snow. Bring it on…..
This third installment of Fair day will be my last lame attempt to take you there. I wish I had some sort of smell-a-vision to really help tell the whole story but since I don’t, I’ll do the best I can with pictures.

We’ve visited the animal barns in the last installment but there was so much more to see than just that. I was extremely interested in the foods being offered since I’ve spent the last year on a rather strict eating regime. This was a day for me to misbehave a little and the choices were numerous. Here’s a brief collection of those possibilities.






Here are two of my sins for the day . . . .

“Deep fried veggies.’

‘Funnel Cake’
I was also dragged kicking and screaming by my better-half to an endless number of exhibits of things that held no interest for me. Just being a cooperative partner can be trying at times. There was no end of the shopping possibilities and she wasn’t about to miss any. Thank God we only have one grandson to buy for. If I hear or see anything with Mickey Mouse on it any time soon I may run screaming into the night.
“This was the only place that convinced me to spend my money.’
Now here’s a montage of photo’s of a host of other things that piqued my interest as we roamed around.





This one last photo will further explain just how I felt after ten hours of walking, sweating, and rubbing elbows with those huge crowds of other hot, sweaty and smelly human beings. I was totally exhausted and was just about done with Fair Day for this year.

‘Suicide by hippo.’
But there’s always next year to do it all over again . . . . . .


In this installment we’ll continue our journey through the huge crowds of people and make our way to visit the huge crowds of animals. I couldn’t possibly post all of the animal photos I took. The number and variety was amazing and the better-half made sure we saw each and every one of them. Here’s a montage:


‘Shave and a haircut.’

‘Llamas, I’m not a big fan.’

‘Clean as a whistle.’

‘Huge !!!’
If the Fair were held a little closer to our home I suspect we’d spend multiple days just roaming around the animal barns. Attending the many events where animals are displayed for judging would easily take an entire day. We were a little pickier this year in what we attended but as always because of my better-half’s love of pigs we took these pictures.

‘One happy pig.’


‘Many happy piglets.’
It’s now approaching the noon hour and we made our way to a small grandstand to watch the skillet throwing contest. I’m a big fan because the contest is a tongue-in-cheek throwback to the good old days of farm shows. I’ve captured a number of entrants as they tossed their skillets into the air but the last one was the big winner of the day. She was also the returning champion from last year’s Fair and to be as kind as possible she was more than a little scary.

‘Going . . . .’

‘Going . . . .’

‘ Gone !!!!, The winner and still champion.’
I took a quick picture of this guy who was either bored to death or just plain exhausted. He was sitting on his four wheeler with hundreds of people walking by and was dead asleep.

I knew exactly how he felt because it was the same malady that struck me as I sat listening to this Country and Western group while my better-half wandered around on her own shopping for more Fair junk.

My final installment from the Fair will be posted in two days and will include a variety of random shots taken throughout the day. Lots of food stops shopping kiosks, and hours of people watching. Come back to visit.
My body is talking to me this morning and it isn’t all that happy. Fryeburg Fair Day has come and gone for another year leaving us walking wounded behind. I’m going to post our Fair Day over the next few days because I have a lot of photos I’d like to share which should help give you a real feel for the place. The ride to Fryeburg was uneventful but the closer we got to the fairgrounds the more the traffic increased as you can see.


Being the simple person that I am I thought I’d start our day at the main entrance to the fairgrounds. This is one of the few events where I don’t mind paying a $10.00 entry fee. It’s worth every penny of that $.80 an hour it’s costing me. That’s a good deal anytime.

Yesterday was a day of smells. Twelve hours of smelly crowds, really smelly animals, and the aroma of deep fried everything. If you ever wanted to deep-fry a particular item, you could find a booth selling it here at the Fair. There’s nothing like the smell of old and hot cooking grease at 8:30 in the morning.

‘You don’t see signs like this too much anymore.’
If you like crowds this is the place to be. I’ve been coming to this event for seven years and my better-half for almost fifteen. In our opinion the crowd today is the largest either of us have ever seen. The fact that it’s Woodsmen Day is probably part of the explanation. It’s the day for axe throwing, log rolling, tree climbing, and an assortment of other events for the wannabe lumberjack. If you like beards and flannel shirts this is where you need to be.


I’m not sure exactly sure just how large the fairground is but with all of the campgrounds surrounding the place it must cover at least 100 acres or so. That’s an uneducated guess so those of you from Fryeburg who may be reading this shouldn’t get your panties in a knot if it’s a little inaccurate. To put it simply, the place is huge !!!!!


We normally start our visit with the area set aside for the little kids. Pony rides and small merry-go-rounds right next door to Old McDonald’s petting zoo. The little ones seem to love getting in there for a little "hands on" with the baby animals.



‘They love milking the plastic cow.’
Before doing anything else we stopped for our traditional Fair Day breakfast meal. A large order of greasy French Fries, vinegar, and ketchup will certainly get the old heart started on these cool Fall mornings. Another hour or so of wandering around is next on our agenda before we head for the animal barns. My better-half waits all year to return here to visit all of her animal friends. I swear she must have been born a farmer in a previous life. My next posting will offer up an assortment of animal pictures and a few other interesting events like the skillet toss.
That’s it for today, installment two will post in 2 days and if you have an interest in farm animals, stop back to visit.
With most of the gardening chores completed things have slowed down around here a bit. Who am I kidding? We’re just killing time until the day the “Fair” opens. That would be the Fair held every year in Fryeburg, Maine. It’s by far the largest event in the state and it’s a week long party for the many thousands of attendees from all over the country. We’ll be attending next week and it will be twelve hours of farm animals, large crowds, crazy good food, and hundreds and hundreds of photographs. So like I said we’re just killing time until the Fair.

Today I’ve been completing a number of small projects which required very little effort on my part. As I was walking through the house I remembered one thing that I absolutely had to do sooner rather than later. It was time for the Concord grape wine to be bottled. It’s been almost three months in the making and the fermentation has finally stopped.

The final product is a beautiful dry ruby red wine with an unbelievable bouquet. So it’s a half hour of washing bottles and making my usual mess. I tend to be a bit clumsy and if I don’t spill at least one bottle of wine in the process I just don’t feel like I’ve accomplished anything.

There’s nothing like siphoning wine through a little plastic tube, spilling it on the floor, down your leg, and onto nearby books, papers, and house pets. Curiosity may have killed the cat but in this house a good squirt of wine onto a persistently nosy cat is as good as it gets.

After filling and corking nineteen bottles it was then time to put on the fancy gold PVC covers. This requires a large pot of boiling water into which the bottle tops are quickly dipped causing the cover to shrink and seal the corks. It’s imperative that the bottle not remain in the hot water for more than a few seconds or there will be trouble. That truth became immediately evident when my first cool glass bottle was held into the boiling water for more than four or five seconds and the top exploded. Now I’m down to eighteen bottles but with a much better understanding of things I shouldn’t do.


I finished the remainder of the job but held back another bottle for the better-half and I to have with dinner. I poured myself a large glassful and waited for her arrival from work. I found out in the middle of the second glass that there was definitely a sufficient amount of alcohol in the wine. I had a wonderful glow on which translated to my canceling dinner. There was no way I could safely cook without possibly burning down the house.

When the better-half arrived home she drank a couple of mouthfuls of the wine, declared it delicious, and then immediately opened a beer (she isn’t much of a wine lover). She made her own meal and I ended up having an off-the-cuff snack consisting of Wheat Thins, a dab of Smart Balance and peanut butter with a dash of triple berry jam.

This batch of wine has passed my final acid test. Any wine that can make me eat this slop for dinner contains more than enough alcohol. I tested it with my vinometer and it contain just a hair more than 9 percent. That makes for an excellent batch of 18 proof red wine, more than enough to make almost any food edible.
I’m not entirely sure how to handle all this beautiful weather. I suppose this is what used to be called an “Indian Summer”. I don’t know why it’s so damn nice but I certainly intend to enjoy it.
The better-half and I decided to make a day of it after her early morning doctors appointment. She received loads of good news about her health which put us both in a great mood. As we were leaving the doctors office I had a brainstorm that was totally not something I would ever do. I spontaneously headed north from Portland to take her shopping in Freeport, Maine, known for it’s endless supply of outlet stores and L.L.Bean.

Freeport is a place I’ve always tried to avoid but I figured what the hell. I gave her control of our day and followed along like the good little boy that I am. We visited a thrift shop and a number of ridiculous tourist traps looking at all things Moose. Not only are the gifts a little lame the prices are ridiculous. I remember a time when visiting outlets meant cheaper than normal prices and it’s too bad that tradition has slowly faded away.



‘One of My Favorites’
We made the obligatory stop at L.L. Bean’s to look around a bit. It’s quite the place to visit but if you intend to shop there bring lots of credit cards. It’ll be a cold day in hell when I spend $90.00 for a pair of jeans or $350.00 for a plain brown leather bomber jacket. Insanity from the front door all the way through the huge building. I decided not to spend any money there and just cruised around the buildings and grounds snapping a few pictures.




As lunch time rolled around I was starving. We stopped at a little hole-in-the-wall restaurant that specializes in seafood and chowder. The better-half settled for clam chowder while I dug into a plate of fish & chips. It was incredibly good and that lunch stop became the best part of our day. We left feeling good and ready for a quick walk through town and then a long and leisurely ride home.

The remainder of the day was kind of blah. The weather was sunny but the day was what could be called "in between". The trees have started to change color but aren’t quite there yet for those vivid colors everyone loves. While it’s sunny it’s also very chilly verging on uncomfortable. We’ll have to try this trip again in a few weeks when the foliage is worth photographing. Her are a few blah photos from that ride home.


Just another day here in paradise. Hanging around waiting for the leaves to change and the snow to fly.

I’ve been a coffee addict in a serious way since my time in the U.S. Army. During those years my Army buddies and I drank a great quantity of what was called coffee. It was strong and thick and black as night. It was really just a poor man’s substitute for “speed. It would keep you alert for hours on end while patrolling or carousing in the nearby villages until all hours. It was as important to us as the food we ate and there was an endless supply available in the mess hall around the clock.
I returned to the states to resume my civilian life and within a short time became a member of the Pennsylvania State Police. The coffee was a little weaker but we drank it constantly as we patrolled both at night and during the day. And no, donuts weren’t as prevalent as the media and stand-up up comics would lead you to believe. It was all about the caffeine.

I come by my coffee addiction honestly and it still remains an important part of my existence to this day. Just as a point of information I feel the need to reiterate; I hate Starbucks. They’ve made coffee a yuppie joke to those of us who are real coffee drinkers.
With International Coffee Day approaching on September 29 I thought you might find a little coffee trivia interesting since it’s been an important commodity for millions of people throughout the centuries. Here we go. . .
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Once in the past, coffee was believed to be the devil’s drink. Pope Vincent III heard about it and decided to taste it. He enjoyed it so much he baptized it, saying "Coffee is so delicious it would be a pity to let the infidels (Muslims) have exclusive use of it."
Both the American Revolution and the French Revolution were born in coffee houses. The American Revolution was developed by patriots who were customers in the Green Dragon (some say it was the Green Lion) Public House in London. The infamous French Revolution in 1789 was spurred on by Camille Desmoulins’s verbal campaign in coffeehouses.
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Vincent Van Gogh was a big frequenter of the café society and famously said “I have tried to show the café as a place where one can go mad.”
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An interesting Turkish law decreed that it was quite acceptable for a woman to ask for a divorce if her husband failed to provide her with adequate coffee rations.
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Coffee was denounced by many religious leaders as the drink of Satan. Coffee houses were known as “hotbeds of sedition”. In the 1700’s many coffee houses were ordered to close.
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There are 900 different flavors of Arabica. Complex and very volatile, they deteriorate if exposed to air and light.
The original blend called "Maxwell House" got its name from The Maxwell House Hotel, where it was first served in Nashville Tennessee in 1886 (also where Teddy Roosevelt was heard to say "good to the last drop", creating the Maxwell House slogan).
In 1732, at the height of his creative genius, Johann Sebastian Bach wrote the Cantata No. 211 or Coffee Cantata. It is considered by many to be a work of perfection.
In Turkey, bridegrooms were once required to make a promise during their wedding ceremonies to always provide their new wives with coffee. Failure to do so would be grounds for divorce (no pun intended).
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The second most widely used product in the world after oil.
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It is a living to more than 100 million people.
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It is consumed at the rate of 1400 million cups per day.
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The world’s second most popular drink after water.
Beethoven, a known coffee lover, was not only particular about his music. He was also particular about his coffee brew. He always wanted 60 beans for each cup of his coffee.
Today, there must be 10,000 coffee shops in Venice alone! (In the year 1763, there were already over 200 coffee shops in Venice)
Cappuccino derived its name due to its similarity in color to the robes of an order of Monks called the Capuchins.
Well-known performers such as Joan Baez and Bob Dylan began their careers performing in coffeehouses. Another singer, Lightnin’ Hopkins, complained about his woman’s neglect with her domestic situation because of her coffeehouse socializing in his 1969 song, Coffeehouse Blues.
* * *

Well there you have it. Every thing you always wanted to know about coffee but were afraid to ask. It’s now time for me to get back to my new friend, the K-Kup coffee maker, for a hot and sweet cup of vanilla/biscotti. Man that’s the cats ass.