Archive for the ‘Bitch & Complain’ Category
‘Don’t Screw With Us Night-Owls’
I must be losing what’s left of my mind. Sit back and let me explain. Most people are either early morning people or night-owls. For as long as I can remember I’ve been a night-owl. I loved being out and about when everyone else was at home in their warm beds. Even when I was working those nine-to-five jobs I always managed to stay awake until at least midnight and still make it to work on time without any problem. My best years were those as a police officer when I could work as many overnights as I wanted. Those days are sadly gone forever as you shall see.
This morning was a perfect example of my new life. My better-half works some ungodly shifts but more often than not she begins work at 05:30 am. That requires her to bound out of bed in her ridiculously upbeat manner at 4:00 am to begin her endless pre-work preparations. As quiet as she tries to be she still manages to wake me up almost every day. Slowly over the last few years I’ve been quietly forced to adopt her work schedule whether I like it or not.
Fortunately I went to bed early enough last night that being awakened at 4:00 am was annoying but workable. I actually was awakened at 3:45 am when the damn cat decided it was time to be fed. So I made the coffee, fed the cat, visited the facilities and quickly returned to my warm bed. I tried desperately to go back to sleep but nothing doing. I was wide awake with nothing to do and nowhere to go. Thanks a lot lovey!
I turned on the tube and what do I find but a Styx rock concert on AXS TV. I poured a large coffee, pulled the bed covers tightly around me, and settled down for the next two hours and rocked my life away. That group sounded as good today as it did way back when. The better-half left sometime during the concert giving me the required peck on the cheek as she ran for the door. Twenty minutes later she called in a tizzy to tell me she’d forgotten her bag full of paperwork that she needed it and could I bring it to her as soon as possible.
‘Before’
‘After’
Of course, I finished watching the concert, then I got dressed and did fifty minutes on the treadmill. There’s something very wrong with sweating through your clothing at 6:00 am. I finished with the treadmill, hit the shower, and then decided to deliver her work supplies to her. Of course she also demanded in her oh so nice way a Dunkin Donuts coffee which required me to make yet another stop. Isn’t love grand?
So after all of that I arrived at her store with all of the paperwork and her coffee. I made the visit as short as possible and quickly left after reciprocating with an obligatory kiss on her cheek. I stood outside in the parking lot for a second and glanced down at my phone, it was only 8:45 am. That’s just so wrong on so many levels. What the hell was I becoming? She’s turning me into a morning person and I can’t seem to stop her. Is my life over? Woe is me!
I drove directly home, parked the car, and marched my ass back to the bedroom. The next two hours were heaven on earth and that little nap was even better than those famous afternoon power naps everyone’s always raving about. I was sure the rest of the day would be a real yawner but I needed to remember one important thing. I’d be able to get up tomorrow morning and do it all over again.
Someone just shoot me now, please!
I’m not sure how it happened but we’re enjoying one gorgeous Indian Summer day. The sun is shining, the day is crystal clear, and the wind is blowing with a slight chill. My better-half is again on a day off and again obsessing about chores around the house until I want to scream. We’ve been house bound for a week and days off are meant to be DAYS OFF. It took some doing but I strong-armed her into getting out for some picture taking and a ride along coast.
I have to admit it was one of my best ideas ever. The beaches were empty of tourists and the first one we visited was peaceful and quiet and highly enjoyable.
As we traveled south we stopped occasionally to snap a few pics and all the while I was directing us towards the Kennebunkport area. We normally visit that town once or twice each summer but this year we were just too busy. I was planning a nice surprise lunch at Federal Jack’s Restaurant and a leisurely stroll around town to window shop. Federal Jack’s is also the home of the Shipyard Brewing Company, a perennial favorite of my better-half who is responsible for keeping their shares of stock at such a high level.
My side-story for today started six years ago and involved a plate of bad mussels at a nearby restaurant which will remain nameless (Olive Garden), a few drinks, followed by three hours of projectile vomiting where I’m sure I set a new world record for distance. Since that time I’ve been unable to look at, think about or eat mussels. Over the last few months I’ve found myself tempted to try some once again but always chickened out. I was determined today to finally get that food monkey off my back. My order of mussels was delivered, consumed, and thoroughly enjoyed.
‘Before’
“After”
They were so briny and garlicky, I was in hog heaven. I’m so happy to have mussels returned to the top of my favorite food’s list. It’s been a long time coming and a big hooray for me. We did our stroll through town, enjoyed some window shopping, and then returned to the car for the ride home. A slow and easy ride north along the coast road.
All in all it was a wonderful day and I’m glad we took advantage of it. The next trip to this area will probable involve snow, ice, parka’s, tassel hats, and gloves. There’s nothing more fun or colder than walking the beach in January and February.
One last photograph that I stumbled upon as we were passing a very old cemetery. This is the place my late father, the golfer, would have wanted to be buried. It’s not often you can see a golf course and ball washer from your plot.
I’m still waiting . . . . for what you might ask . . . . for dryness. This last week here in Maine was like the monsoon season in India except for the bone chilling icy cold nights. I mentioned in a recent post about all the effing leaves I’ve been dealing with and I’m here to tell you it hasn’t gotten any better. Not only do we have more leaves than before but they’re now soaking wet. There’s nothing harder than trying to rake giant piles of wet leaves because they refuse to cooperate. I’m only bringing it up again because it’s my one and only chore for today and I just don’t want to do it.
‘Dumb Birds’
As I write this post I’m tightly wrapped in my red dragon blanket, still in bed, sipping my coffee, and looking out the window at another gray and damp day. Most of the trees have dropped their leaves except for a few of the more stubborn oaks. They always seem to hang on a little longer than the others before giving it up for the Winter. As usual I can just make out a few squirrels romping through the nearby tree branches enjoying the last days of Fall. I won’t see much of them again until we have a few warmer than normal days later in the Winter. They’ll sneak out, look around, smell the air, and try to find an acorn or two. Then it’ll be back to their nests to await Spring’s arrival. I guess those squirrels have the right idea. I’m trying to do much the same thing if you think about it. If it’s good enough for a bunch of furry little squirrels then it should work for me as well, right?
Most of the birds have headed south and at times I envy them. The woodpeckers, the blue jays, and chickadees are back in large numbers and will be around for the entire winter. We supply them with plenty of food and suet to help them through the worst of it. It always amazes me that any of them ever survive the Winter. This morning I found our backyard filled with black birds and I’m not sure what they were looking for but they working hard at it.
‘Stupid Birds’
For the first time in a week I can actually see blue skies and the sun. I can remember as a kid how much my friends and I loved climbing onto and under the piles of leaves. My Dad found it amusing for as long as it took him to realize we were making more work for him. Maybe today I’ll revert to an earlier version of myself, pile up some leaves, and dive right in. The smell of those wet leaves should take me right back to age seven for a few minutes. Then reality will set back in and I’ll realize I’m sitting in a pile of wet leaves in the middle of my yard and giving the neighbors a reason to question my sanity.
As I stepped out my back door I received another big surprise. From out of nowhere two chickens arrived at my door and are refusing to leave. Now I’ll be forced to spend time today polling my neighbors to see who they belong to. I’ll never again feel guilty about eating chickens . . . they’re too stupid to live.
“Dumb and Stupid Birds’
Anyone out there interested in a few chicken wings?
It’s just another rainy, crappy, and gray October day here in Maine. It’s a great day to stay in the warm house and to catch up on a million things I’ve been putting off. With that in mind the cat and I retired to the man-cave to relax, watch a little TV, and work on the computer. My better-half has the day off and is enjoying herself in the kitchen. She’s baking cookies, talking on the phone with family members, and preparing Halloween treats for mailing to her kids. It looked like a great day was in the making for both of us.
Just as I was finally beginning to relax my better-half popped into my inner sanctum for a visit. She gave me a kiss and an even bigger hug which while appreciated also told me something was up. She intended to take a short shopping trip and was hinting around for a traveling companion. Before I knew it I was changing my clothes and preparing to face the outside world.
The traffic was heavier than anticipated and people were driving badly as always seems to be the case when the rains come. After traveling for a few minutes she decided the trip would be shortened from three stops to just one. I assumed it was because of the rain but it may have been due to all of my swearing and cursing at passing motorists. We arrived at the store, parked, and began walking towards the entrance. Almost immediately the sky opened up and the rains came. I didn’t realize I could still run that fast but I did. As we entered the store I was told in no uncertain terms that this was to be a short power shopping visit for just a few essential items . . . Yeah right! Forty-five minutes and a full shopping cart later we were on our way towards the door. We could see through the front windows that the rain was coming down even harder than before. I was convinced to bring the car around to the front door where I could pick up her majesty. I reached the car, drove it to the entrance of the store, and we loaded the groceries into the trunk. We were wet and uncomfortable and I could’t wait to get home.
It was more of the same during the drive home. I wish I had a dollar for every horn I heard honking and every finger I saw thrown in anger. It’s amazing to me how people from Maine can drive normally in two feet of snow and a blizzard but can’t deal with a moderate amount of rainfall. I found myself wishing for snow for just a moment but then good sense prevailed.
We arrived home and quickly pulled into the garage to get out of the rain. Within seconds of unloading the first bag of groceries I looked outside and the rain had stopped completely. It never fails . . .
One of the reason I love living in southern Maine is the peace and quiet. There are days when the quiet is absolute except for a few cars occasionally whizzing by. This road we live on has been a nightmare for years and in the winter accidents occur in and around our home quite often. It has quite the collection of potholes of every size and shape along with frost heaves to make things really interesting. For those of you that don’t know, a frost heave is a large mound that erupts beneath the road when the ground begins to freeze in the Fall. Our normal flat potholed road turns into a an amusement park ride. Living here requires that we develop and maintain a good relationship with a competent mechanic. I average a front-end wheel alignment every two years and that doesn’t include the costs for damage to wheel rims and tires. Once Spring arrives the road immediately returns to normal.
I was awakened this morning when my bed and house began vibrating and shaking. At first I thought we were having one of our occasional earthquakes but a glance out the front window explained everything. There was a gigantic machine rolling down the road, spitting smoke in every direction, chewing up asphalt and spitting out a fine black powder.
Apparently the town fathers finally decided to pave our road and of course never notified anyone who lives here. Just one big noisy machine after another beginning a 7 am and lasting the entire day. For most of the day I was forced to stay at home because my driveway was blocked at first by a dump truck and then later by a huge ten ton roller. I was thrilled to see my tax dollars working for me for the first time in a long while. Since Maine is known for it’s over the top approach to spending taxes on welfare for illegals, I never thought it would ever happen so I was stunned. I had finally won the tax lottery.
Here are a series of photos of the big project from start to finish.
Here’s my reward for you for being made to look at my boring pictures. It’s a limerick I wrote with all of the liberals politicians in mind who are determined to oust Republican governor LePage. It would be oh so sweet if LePage was reelected. It would make them crazy and hopefully send them right over the edge once again.
There once were politicians from Maine
Who in truth were a liberal pain.
They smile and they lie
But as hard as they try,
They’re too dumb to get out of the rain.
I was having a pretty good week all things considered. I survived a birthday party with a gang of 2-6 year olds, got out of attending a wedding I didn’t want to attend, and built a new book shelf for my man-cave. I had a solid eight hours of sleep and was feeling at peace with the world. As everyone knows life always manages to balance the scales whether you like it or not. If you have a lot of good going on you just know at some point not so good will soon follow. Thank you so much Planned Parenthood of Northern New England.
You could say it was a feeling like "a cold shower" or having "someone peeing in your corn flakes" but it was a letter of BS and propaganda from those poor abused folks responsible for all of the initiatives to force religious employers to foot the bill for female employee contraceptives.
Here’s the first thing that caught my eye.
"It is unbelievable. Anti-choice extremists are taking away our rights – and the United States Supreme Court is helping them do it."
I guess anyone who disagrees with them on a matter of "Choice" of any kind must be an extremist. The first thing you need to know, I am not religious in any way shape or form and I never defend religion and never will. I will defend their right to disagree with the idiots at Planned Parenthood. I find it ridiculous and offensive to have a heavily taxpayer funded organization whining about their problems. Any business owner has the right (or used to) to run their company the way they saw fit. Any good businessman will tell you the last thing they need is government funded interference. The US government is a joke when it comes to running anything. Unfortunately during one of their many bouts of the "politically correct flu" they decided to fund some liberal organizations like Planned Parenthood.
Their next point was this:
"The US Supreme Court decisions are alarming and disheartening. Here at Planned Parenthood of Northern New England, we believe women should get to choose which birth control method they want to use. Not her employer."
I actually found myself agreeing with part of that statement. Women should have the right to chose their method of contraception. I just don’t feel that the taxpayers or their employers should be footing the bill. If you can’t afford contraception try abstaining for a while or let your boyfriend, husband or partner stop at a CVS and pick up some condoms. There are millions of Americans that feel exactly the same way I do about it.
Here’s a scan of the actual letter. I blocked out my name and address because those liberals are well known for their vicious hate mail campaigns. I truly dislike organizations that send me junk mail that my tax dollars are paying for.
So in closing here’s my message to Planned Parenthood. Take me off your mailing list until such time your no longer leeching from the taxpayers ($300,000,000.00 at last count). Then you might have a little credibility in your arguments. Oh yeah, stop misstating the facts and resorting to name calling. You’re starting to sound a little like those desperate folks over at PETA.
It’s another cold and gray October day here in Maine. It was a frigid night and this morning everything was covered with a heavy frost. Since my better-half refuses to turn on the heat until later in the month I found it necessary last night to jack up my electric blanket to level six. It keeps the bed nice and toasty but I also seem to wake up every few hours when I feel my face beginning to freeze. I knew it was really cold in the house when the cat crawled into bed with me at 4 am and refused to leave. Now that I’m fully awake and have had my first cup of coffee it’s time to mention a variety of items which could possibly bore you to tears.
Yesterday we attended the second birthday party for the better-half’s grandson. It was a festive occasion for the family and friends who attended and we were surrounded by a gaggle of children who really were enjoying themselves. There were games for the kids, gift bags, and a pumpkin decorating session that was hilarious. It was a great day for all of the kids and even for some of the adults. I took over a hundred pictures that will need to be reviewed later today and that should keep me busy for a while. I’ll only post this one which shows the aftermath. The bigger the mess the better the party, right?
After saying our goodbyes to the birthday boy we left the party and decided to take a short drive through the woods to find some decent fall foliage photos. The entire morning had been cloudy and gray but as we pulled out of the driveway the sun came shining through the clouds. I’ll always wonder whether it would have gotten cloudy and gray once again if we’d have returned to the party. I hate coincidents like that. Here are a few of the photo’s from our ride.
This is a rare picture of the seldom seen “Red Breasted Maine Moron”. That’s anyone who water skis in Maine in October.
Now that Fall has officially arrived most of our outdoor activities will be curtailed through the Winter months. I’ve been posting journal entries for some months now documenting our Summer activities and it’s been a lot of fun. Since I’m not a person who enjoys frolicking in the snow my future journal entries may be limited. No snowmobiling, no ice skating, no skiing, no bobsledding, no hunting, and no ice fishing pictures. I think it’s time to return this blog to discussions of politics and politicians, trivia of all kinds, and the continuing criticisms of all things Hollywood. The celebrities have gotten a Summer pass from me and I feel the need to lash out at them once again.
I’m also in the process of setting up a Twitter page for this blog and will begin publicizing my postings there as well. I may even consider returning to Facebook sometime soon. I feel completely reenergized after a great Summer and I’m ready for the mid-year elections and all that that entails.
We’ve reached mid-October and I’m starting to see indications of that holiday freight train that is rumbling full speed towards us. I was tasked with an errand last night that required me to pickup my better-half who was attending a wedding of a co-worked in a town north of here. Darkness had fallen and our trip home took us through a number of neighborhoods and small towns. We were within a quarter mile of home when I spotted something that sent a cold shiver down my spine . . . a lighted Christmas tree in front of a neighbor’s home. These neighbors are the newest members of our little community and are folks who love to celebrate each and every holiday with decorations of all sorts hanging from trees, shrubs, and anything else that doesn’t move too much. It can be cute but also it’s also more than a little annoying just like that tree was last night.
During some of my shopping forays in recent weeks I’ve observed the expected Halloween and Thanksgiving craziness but Christmas rearing it’s ugly head this early in October is ridiculous. Having worked for many rears for retail companies I understand the management mentality in getting the jump on competitors. It just seems they’ve all picked up some of the more bothersome bad habits of the king of all retailers, Walmart. They seem to think that anything that Walmart does automatically become the final word in making money. Having spent six months in a Walmart management training program allows me to proclaim that Walmart is just as screwed up as any other company. Their saving grace secret is their size. When you’re as big as Walmart it’s much easier to hide your screw ups and bad decisions.
I have a sneaking suspicion that Sam Walton is probably spinning in his grave after watching what has gone on with his company. On my first day at Sam’s Club I was handed a paperback book on the life and times of their founder Sam Walton. I was ordered to read that book immediately and was questioned heavily on it’s contents throughout the training period. Almost all of the training tapes that were in use were tapes made by Walton himself who at the time had been dead for more than ten years. I was being trained by a dead guy in Walmart’s lame attempt to brainwash me into their world of retail. Just before my graduation from that training program I was on my way to work and wishing I wasn’t. Ten minutes after I arrived I walked into the General Manger’s office and resigned. I walked away and never looked back. They only succeeded in making me unhappy, miserable, and just a little crazy. I’ve never regretted my decision.
This isn’t a rant just about Walmart but a general disappointment with the cynical approach taken by almost every retailer. I think we can thank Wall Street and the Harvard Business School for a lot of these issues. The stock market virtually requires companies to meet expectations regardless of the methods used. The Harvard MBA’s that I’ve been involved with over the years were all young bean-counters of the worst sort. They’d gut a company, fire any number of employees, cut benefits, just about anything to help meet those Wall Street projections. People are just numbers to them and are treated accordingly. Is it any wonder things are the way they are.
So after saying all of that I hope you’re prepared for the avalanche of Christmas nonsense headed your way. Ten glorious weeks of Santa Clause, presents, endless TV commercials, and a hit to your wallet that will be larger than ever before. Oh yeah, I recently heard a nasty rumor that once upon a time Christmas had something to do with religion. How stupid am I?
With the weather slowly but surely changing from Fall to Winter the final work to harvest the last of the herbs and to compost the garden needed to be done. My better-half had the day off and we both knew we had a few hours of hard work ahead of us. It was the last of our major tasks for the Fall.
It was hard labor for a while as we shoveled compost into our small trailer and delivered it to the garden. Not only does the compost reenergize the soil but it also helps to refill the frames with much needed soil.
We filled the trailer three times which allowed us to cover the entire garden with approximately three inches of compost. We took special precautions with the rhubarb and asparagus because they require additional protection from the coming snow and cold weather.
In a day or so I’ll add some lime to the compost as well as a general fertilizer. Then I’ll rototill the entire mixture thoroughly and let it sit until Spring.
I wanted to dry and store more herbs but a surprise hard frost last week killed off ninety percent of my basil plants. Fortunately I harvested some of the plants before the frost but it still irritates me to see any of them go to waste. Mother Nature always seems to get her fair share of things whether we like it or now.
It’s difficult here in Maine for cold-sensitive plants to survive the winter but I’ll never stop trying to find a way. Instead of harvesting all of the Rosemary and Parsley I decided to compost the plants heavily and then later in the season cover them with a thick layer of leaves. I’m hoping that for once I can have a Rosemary plant that survives the Winter and is able to get larger and stronger each year. Probably just wishful thinking but we shall see.
‘Harvested, Cleaned’
Only about fifty percent of this parsley was harvested in the hopes that it would retain enough energy to regrow in the Spring. I cleaned and washed the parsley, removed the stems, and placed everything into the dehydrator. In four hours it will be dry enough to crush and place into air tight jar for later use.
‘And Dried’
Our harvested black beans have also been dried and stored. There seems to be more than enough for a few good meals. It was our first year growing them and we haven’t decided whether to plant them again next year.
Once all of the days labor was completed we sat down to relax, have a drink, and discuss possible improvements and repairs of the garden for next year. One of the most interesting possibilities is the construction of a much larger cold frame that will be eight feet long and two feet wide. This would allow us to grow a variety of lettuces and radishes well into late October and even early November. Anything we can do to extend the growing season is well worth the effort.
We’re almost ready for that damn snow. Bring it on…..
This third installment of Fair day will be my last lame attempt to take you there. I wish I had some sort of smell-a-vision to really help tell the whole story but since I don’t, I’ll do the best I can with pictures.
We’ve visited the animal barns in the last installment but there was so much more to see than just that. I was extremely interested in the foods being offered since I’ve spent the last year on a rather strict eating regime. This was a day for me to misbehave a little and the choices were numerous. Here’s a brief collection of those possibilities.
Here are two of my sins for the day . . . .
“Deep fried veggies.’
‘Funnel Cake’
I was also dragged kicking and screaming by my better-half to an endless number of exhibits of things that held no interest for me. Just being a cooperative partner can be trying at times. There was no end of the shopping possibilities and she wasn’t about to miss any. Thank God we only have one grandson to buy for. If I hear or see anything with Mickey Mouse on it any time soon I may run screaming into the night.
“This was the only place that convinced me to spend my money.’
Now here’s a montage of photo’s of a host of other things that piqued my interest as we roamed around.
This one last photo will further explain just how I felt after ten hours of walking, sweating, and rubbing elbows with those huge crowds of other hot, sweaty and smelly human beings. I was totally exhausted and was just about done with Fair Day for this year.
‘Suicide by hippo.’
But there’s always next year to do it all over again . . . . . .
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