Archive for the ‘Looking Back’ Category
It’s just turning 6 am on Thanksgiving morning. It’s a windy and chilly day as it seems to be every year on Thanksgiving and I love it. This just happens to be the one holiday that means more to me than any of the others. Many holidays are religious and since I’m not a religious person they mean very little to me. My best memories of my family are those from the many Thanksgivings we spent together. There is no anticipation of gifts and the many negatives associated with that mind set. It’s just a peaceful family gathering to share a meal and to be thankful for the good things in our lives.
I’m lying in bed with my better-half who’s sawing some serious logs next to me. My cat just jumped up on the bed to demand his Thanksgiving breakfast, and the coffee pot just came alive and is beeping to let me know it’s time to get up. This morning is going to be just about me and that big, fat, twenty pound bird awaiting me in the kitchen. I began thawing him out two days ago and yesterday I began some of the prep work for his debut today. Tradition means so much to me and I love preparing the bird.
As a youngster I spent all of my Thanksgivings with my immediate family at my grandmother’s home. She was an old school cook whose Thanksgiving and Christmas dinners were the things of legend, just incredible. She was responsible for my undying love of cranberry sauce (the jelly kind) and the stuffing and gravy she was famous for. I begged her for years for her gravy recipe but she’d just smile and say “maybe when your a little older”. She went to her grave with the secret and I’ve spent years still trying to get it just right. Man do I miss her at this time of the year.
As a young man I married and moved away from my home area in Pittsburgh to Massachusetts and lived twenty minutes from Plymouth Plantation. I visited Plymouth every year and attended as many of the local celebrations as possible. I ate Thanksgiving dinner at the Plantation, was on and off the Mayflower many times, and really developed a love for the area. We even visited many of the Wampanoag Indian ceremonies that we were introduced to us by a friend who was a member of the tribe. It was a terrific tradition we’d developed but as in all things change was inevitable.
Divorce required me to find a new residence. I bought a small cottage near the ocean in Kingston, Massachusetts only 5 minutes from downtown Plymouth. I lived there for three years and submerged myself in the history of the Pilgrims, the Indians, and everything Thanksgiving. Again changes had to be made when my company bankrupted and I moved to Maine. For the next seven years I celebrated a rather lonely Thanksgiving tradition. I returned home to Pittsburgh once or twice during that time but for the most part it was just me, my cat and two ferrets. I maintained my own tradition with a large turkey breast, stuffing and all the trimmings and made the most of my crappy situation. The memories of all my past Thanksgiving’s helped tremendously but once again change was in the air. It arrived unexpectedly in the person of my better-half.
After a few years of adjusting to one another we’ve finally settled into a rather happy life and the holiday traditions had to change once more. We both maintain certain of our own family Thanksgiving traditions and are now creating a few of our own. This year we’re welcoming our new grandson to the table for the very first time. He was just a pooping and crying ball of flesh last Thanksgiving but now he’s grown into a walking and almost talking little person about to be officially seated at the holiday table. I hope in the years to come the memories of his grandmother will mean as much to him as mine do to me.
I also hope that your Thanksgiving will be even better than what you expected. The best thing about traditions is their flexibility. No matter how much change we’re forced to deal with, both good and bad, the traditions carry on regardless. The thoughts of years past and loved ones who are no longer with us are the real traditions and they can never be taken away.
HAPPY THANKSGIVING
Having worked in and out of this country’s judicial system (I use the term loosely) for decades I feel I’ve earned the right to be as critical of the players in that systems as I care to be. For me it’s a given that most defendants are borderline idiots or they wouldn’t be doing the sort of things requiring arrest. The attorneys are almost as bad and deserve whatever criticism they get as well. The judges and the remainder of the system are flawed as well but as it’s always said, “our system may a mess but it’s better than all of the others.” That’s a paraphrased quote that I didn’t intentionally butcher, it just kind of happened.
Todays posting includes a few on the record questions and answers from a combination of stupid, inept, and well educated individuals. They’re questions and answers are pitiful if they weren’t so ridiculous and at times funny. That these were taken from actual court transcripts is really the scariest part.
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Q: Doctor, before you performed the autopsy, did you check for a pulse?
A: No.
Q: Did you check for blood pressure?
A: No.
Q: Did you check for breathing?
A: No.
Q: So then it is possible that the patient was alive when you began the autopsy?
A: No.
Q: How can you be so sure, Doctor?
A: Because his brain was sitting on my desk in a jar.
Q: But could the patient have still been alive, nevertheless?
A: Yes, it is possible that he could have been alive and practicing law somewhere.
My only advice is to avoid the judicial system at all costs. It’s flawed just enough to make it possible for totally innocent people to be convicted and confined. It’ doesn’t happen all that often but it does occasionally occur. Clean living and avoiding criminal elements is my best advice, it just isn’t worth the risk. You’ve been warned.
If you’ve read this blog regularly you know I never miss an opportunity to ridicule and tweak the noses of celebrities and the people who worship the ground they walk on. In my travels on the Internet and while perusing through my collection of books I’ve compiled a few tidbits of information on some of our more famous celebrities to help expel some of the mysteries they spend years wrapping themselves in. They’re just folks like everyone else no matter how hard they try not to be.
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Actor James Earl Jones, the voice of Darth Vader in Star Wars, stuttered so badly as a child and he had to communicate by writing notes.
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Japanese American actor Pat Morita, star of the Karate Kid and Happy Days, suffered from spinal tuberculosis as a child and spent nine years confined to bed.
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Actor Walter Brennan (1894 – 1974) started his career in Hollywood by doing a voiceover for a donkey.
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Television star Vanna White of the show Wheel of Fortune claps an average of 720 times per show. And she has walked more than 443 miles on the show since 1982.
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During most of the time that actor Raymond Burr played Perry Mason, he never owned a television set.
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Spencer Tracy’s 1937 Oscar for Best Actor was mistakenly engraved with the name “Dick Tracy”.
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Hollywood actress Ava Gardner left a trust fund of several million dollars, her mansion, and a personal maid to her dog, Morgan.
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Tarzan star Johnny Weissmuller had a contract that stipulated he had to weigh 190 pounds or less, and for every pound over 190 he was docked $5000 – up to $50,000 a day.
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At the age of 82, actor Kirk Douglas made his 82nd film.
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Horror film star Bela Lugosi was buried in his favorite Dracula cape.
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American actress Joan Crawford had a contract with MGM Studios that stipulated the time she had to be in bed each night.
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Actor James Dean was still receiving fan mail two years after his death.
I could list another hundred snippets on more recent celebrities with even weirder things but with the social networks these days you already know most of that gossip. I’ll save a few of those for another day. I can only hope that all of you celebrity worshipers out there are able to maintain some sort of normal perspective when dealing with them. I’m just kidding myself but I can still hope.
I’m adding this photo for my own sake. While I’m not a celebrity chaser I might be convinced to chase this one.
OMG!!!
As a young man I was known for never listening to figures of authority up to and including my parents. Now that I’m older and somewhat wiser I realize that was a mistake. I guess hind sight is always 20/20 as they say. In my younger days I ignored everyone’s advice and paid a heavy price for my youthful arrogance. The adage “Live and learn” is no joke.
It’s still our responsibility as reasonable adults and voting citizens to pass what we know along to our kids and even our politicians. At some point the young people will become older and wiser and may have an interest in the things we say if we’ve been previously proven correct. Most of the politicians these days show their arrogance by failing to listen to their constituency and will pay the price for that arrogance by being voted out of office. We can’t make anyone listen but we do have the responsibility as voters to make the information available to them regardless. So peruse these quotations and glean whatever information you can from them. I only wish our representatives could put their ego’s on the back-burner for a change and admit that they could learn a little something from their predecessors.
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“We the people are the rightful masters of both Congress and the courts, not to overthrow the Constitution but to overthrow the men who pervert the Constitution.” Abraham Lincoln
“A friend is one who has the same enemies as you have.” Martin Luther King Jr.
“In the End, we will remember not the words of our enemies, but the silence of our friends.” Albert Einstein
“Those who are too smart to engage in politics are punished by being governed by those who are dumber.” Plato
“Two things are infinite: the universe and human stupidity; and I’m not sure about the universe.” Albert Einstein
“Those who say religion has nothing to do with politics do not know what religion is.” Mahatma Gandhi
“Unthinking respect for authority is the greatest enemy of truth.” Albert Einstein
LIVE AND LEARN
Well, how do you think you’ve scored? I found that I remembered the individual stories well enough but wasn’t too sharp with the small details. When I was a youngster my mother purchased a series of paperback pamphlets from the Catholic church (Who else?). Each pamphlet offered up a story from the Bible written specifically for young adults and kids. It’s nice to see that I finally found a use for all that knowledge all these years later. Here are the promised answers to the quiz.
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1. The book of Esther.
2. According to Genesis 5:27, you would be 969 years old.
3. Pitch, or natural asphalt. This way
4. Darius the Mede (Book of Daniel, Chapter 6)
5. War (Book of Revelations)
6. To, Ruth and Esther.
7. Ahab, King of Israel (I Kings 16:28-31)
8. Joshua. The passages in Joshua 10:12-13.
9. The Dead Sea – which is known for it’s high salt content. The Arabs call it the sea of Lot; the Israelis, the Salt Sea.
10. The Babylonian king Belshazzar (Daniel5:1-5)
11. Balthazar, Caspar and Melchior.
12. Three days and three nights.
13. Aramaic – an ancient language in use on the North Arabian Peninsula at the time of Christ. A modern version of the languages spoken today in Syria and among Assyrians in Azerbaijan.
14. Seven according to the Bible (Judges 16:19).
15. On the third day (Genesis 1:9).
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There you have it. I’ve already started work on a Food Trivia Challenge which will be posted within the next week or so.
Since I went into something of a religious kick yesterday I thought I’d continue along in the same vein today. I find it odd that so many people who claim to be religious also continuously complain about their religion. Not one particular religion but pretty much every religion collects its fair amount of criticism from its own practitioners as well as critics from other religions and of course the always ever present atheists.
This posting today is another one of my trivia challenges based fully and solely on the Bible. Believe me when I tell you I’m not an expert on the Bible. I’ve read virtually all of it at one time or another but I wasn’t seeking solace for help in maintaining my religious faith, I was just curious about what all the hoopla was about. So for those of you out there who feel that you’re a true person of faith with a fair amount of knowledge about the Bible, I’m here to challenge you today.
I’m going to increase the number of questions in this trivia challenge and instead of my regular 10 there will be 15. Let’s see how closely you’ve read and remember the information in your Bible.
1. The name of God is not mentioned in only one book of the Bible. Which one?
2. If you lived as long as Methuselah, what age would you live to?
3. According to the Bible, what substance was used to caulk Noah’s Ark and to seal the basket in which the infant Moses was set adrift on the Nile?
4. What biblical Babylonian king cast Daniel into the lions den for praying to God in defiance of a Royal decree?
5. In the Bible, which of the four horsemen of the Apocalypse rides a red horse?
6. How many books of the Bible are named for women?
7. In the Old Testament, who was Jezebel’s husband?
8. In the Bible, who did the sun and moon stand before?
9. Along what body of water is there a low-salt mountain some believe is the pillar of salt that Lot’s wife was turned into after the destruction of the cities of Sodom and Gomorrah?
10. In the Bible, who saw the handwriting on the wall?
11. What were the names of the three wise men?
12. How much time did Jonah spend in the belly of the whale?
13. What language is Jesus believed to have spoke?
14. How many locks of hair did Delilah have cut from the mighty Samson’s head to render him powerless?
15. According to the Bible, on what day did God divide land and water?
I’m really proud of myself after scoring 10/15 on this trivia challenge. I guess some of the things I was taught during my misspent youth I actually retained. Tomorrow I’ll publish the answers with as much detail as I can give you to verify where in the Bible you can find them. Have fun.
I think of myself on most days as a fair and honest thinking person. It’s the way I like to be treated therefore it’s how I try to treat people I meet. With that in mind I thought I would make one more try to understand our Islamic brothers and sisters without painting them all with the “Terrorist Brush”. I didn’t say it would be easy but I’m willing to make the attempt one more time.
I’m a patriotic American and the anger than I hold inside myself is in response to terrorism in general and 9/11 in particular. It’s now been a dozen years since the 9/11 attacks and that anger hasn’t abated in the least. Let me go back to that time and explain.
I had just become unemployed when the company I worked for went bankrupt. I was sitting on my coach watching the entire attack from start to finish, unable to move or take my eyes from the screen. I wasn’t alone. there were millions of others doing the same damn thing.
A week of so later I decided to learn as much as I could about our new Islamic enemies and the alleged reasons for their actions. The first thing I did was to read the Koran from cover to cover. It’s much like the Bible and the Talmud where it’s intentionally written in such a way as to allow a lot of room for interpretation. I visited certain Islamic web-sites and read ream after ream of supposed religious quotations designed to entice non-thinking individuals into idiotic actions. I was confused almost immediately because almost none of what I was reading was found in the Koran as they claimed. As with some Christian sects, words from ancient texts were intentionally misquoted and corrupted and made to fit the extremist views of the writer.
Looking at history the Islamic culture at one time was the leader in almost everything including but not limited to the scientific, education, astronomy, and hundreds of others areas. They ruled most of the civilized world for centuries and did a pretty decent job of it. They were murderous and ruthless but so was everyone else including the Christians at that time.
Jump ahead to the present day and things have changed dramatically. They are no longer the “Big Dog” and anyone not with them must convert or die. It’s truly a moronic approach but it’s what the extremists have chosen. It should be stated clearly that worldwide they kill more of their own people than anyone else which I can’t even begin to understand.
The following quotations are Islamic proverbs which would be perfectly acceptable to almost anyone of any religion. Ninety percent of the Islamic people are hard working and only interested in leading a good life and raising their families, just like everyone else. These proverbs prove that for me. Read them for yourselves and decide.
“It is wise to bring some water, when one goes out to look for water.’
“Habit is the 6th sense that overrules the other.”
”Paradise can be found on the back of horses, in books and between the breasts of women.”
‘If you have much, give of your wealth; If you have little, give of your heart.”
“Marriage is like a fort, those who are in want out, those who are out want in.”
“A fat woman is a blanket for winter.”
“A woman can hide her love for 40 years, but her disgust and anger not for one day”.
“Even a one eyed guy will wink at a beautiful woman.”
“Love sees sharply, hatred sees even more sharp, but jealousy sees the sharpest for it is love and hate at the same time.”
“When you shoot an arrow of truth, dip its point in honey.”
“Lie to a liar, for lies are his coin; steal from a thief, for that is easy; lay a trap for a trickster and catch him at first attempt, but beware of an honest man”
“Anything that happens once does not necessarily happen again, everything that happens twice is likely to happen for the third time as well.”
“On the day of victory no one is tired.”
“Fear can make a donkey attack a lion.”
“God can see a black ant walk on a black stone in a black night.”
“Fear those who are afraid of you.”
“We learn little from our successes, but a lot from our failures”
Now that I’ve given them credit where it is due I must in good faith throw a huge and important criticism in their collective faces. Until the ninety percent of reasonable Muslim’s decide to stand up and denounce that extremist ten percent there can be no peace. I want to see the Islamic population of every little mosque on the planet take a stand against the murder of innocents for political gain. They continue to stay quiet because of their fear of retaliation from the extremists and at the same time insist on whining and crying about the bad treatment they receive from non-Muslims. You can’t have it both ways. Period. End of story.
What compels almost every group of humans who spend any amount of time together to break into smaller groups based on any number of societal reasons? We have the geeks and jocks, the pretty and not so pretty, the brains and the dummies, the sexually different, and just about anything else you can think of. One of the worst outcomes of group dynamics is bullying. Whether it’s verbal, physical, emotional, or cyber it continues regardless of the steps taken by our society to stop it. The end results of bullying are ugly and include awful things such as suicides, murders, beatings, and a life long emotional issue for the victims to deal with. Nothing good comes of it.
I’ve experienced most of these things first hand growing up. They started for me in Middle school when I was a short and skinny nerd being bullied by a much older and meaner student and his pals. I dealt with it as best I could until a few years later when I grew about a foot and put on forty pounds. Then all of a sudden their nonsense stopped and they moved on to other smaller and less hostile targets.
In High School I had the misfortune to be socially placed into two different groups. On one hand I was a jock who lettered in a number of sports but I was also confined to the weirdo category because of my artistic bent. At sporting events it was OK to be seen with me but all of my jock buddies avoided any type of friendship off the field. I was independent enough to deal with it but how well I did is still up for discussion. If I handled it so well why am I continuing to talk about it after all these years? A good question to be sure but one I really don’t want to answer. I suspect the scars on any bullying victim never go away completely.
I’m only bringing it up now because of what I observed only a day or so ago. I was riding by a local high school and classes were letting out. I observed no less than five or six distinct groups standing on the same sidewalk. They were talking amongst themselves in their own groups but ignoring the others. I could see the obvious differences immediately, sport related jackets in one group, weird clothing and hats in another, musical instruments in a third and as always a small group of sad looking kids who were the obvious outcast group. I was immediately transported back to my early days when I was the guy who walked through the many and varied groups wondering why I wasn’t being accepted. It was a little bit of time travel I could have done without.
I have no answers or solutions and apparently no one else does either. I see on TV the reports of student groups standing up and fighting against bullying. They wear their cute t-shirts and attend their cute meetings and accomplish very little. The people that need to be attending those rallies and listening to the speech’s are the bullies themselves and the school administrators who have the power to discipline them. The bullies watch those activities and laugh them off with a shrug and a smirk. Then it’s business as usual the very next day. It takes much sterner consequences by the powers-that-be on the bully’s before we can expect to see any improvement. Our politically correct school systems make that damn near impossible. Drastic problems require drastic action and doing nothing at all is cowardly and unforgiveable.
I miss a lot of people who’ve passed through my life over the years as I’m sure everyone does. I also miss people I never had the pleasure of meeting but enjoyed their talents so much they became part of my family and my reality.
A few days ago I was sitting in my favorite chair with my leg elevated and began surfing around the channels looking for anything that was wasn’t a rerun or just plain crap. After a while I happened upon an infomercial that for the first time actually caught my eye and held my full attention. It was an advertisement for a collection of old Dean Martin Celebrity Roasts. I laughed a bit but was especially surprised to see my all time favorite TV personality make an appearance, Johnny Carson.
I watched his Tonight Show as often as possible for more more years than I care to admit and in my opinion he was the all time funniest bastard ever. I like Leno but he barely registers on my radar. Letterman in my opinion has always been overrated and I don’t understand why. Jimmy Kimmel has his moments but not much more than that. And a personal message for Arsenio Hall, “Please just go away, once and for all, just go away.”
After a little looking around I did find a few quotations and comments made by Johnny over the years that I think will tickle your funny bone. It was fun reading them and getting to enjoy his humor once again. Take a look.
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“I now believe in reincarnation. Tonight’s monologue is going to come back as a dog.”
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“Never use a big word when a little filthy one will do.”
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“The difference between love and lust is that lust never costs over $200.”
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“Thanksgiving is in emotional holiday. People travel thousands of miles to be with people they only see once a year. And then discover once year is way too often.”
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“Any time four New Yorkers get into Together without arguing, a bank robbery is just taken place.”
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“Married men live longer than single men. But married men are a lot more willing to die.”
Man, I really miss that guy. Now I think it’s time for a few limericks to brighten up your day. Here are a few off-color ones you might enjoy:
There once was a harlot at Yale,
With her price list tattooed on her tail;
and on her behind,
For the sake of the blind,
She had its emblazoned in Braille.
My dear, you looks simply divine,
And I know that we’ll get along fine;
For making ends meet
Will be such a treat,
When one is yours, and ones mine.
A mortician, practiced in Fyfe,
Made love to the corpse of his wife;
”I couldn’t know, Judge:
She was cold and didn’t budge
The same as she acted in life!”
There once was a young fellow from Cass
whose balls were made out of brass;
When they tinkled together,
They played “Stormy Weather”,
And lightning shot out of his ass!”
They probably weren’t as filthy as you expected but I hesitate to reprint the really nasty ones. Maybe one day I’ll just put together a list of the dirtiest and most disgusting ones I can find. I hate to admit to having a sense of humor that even appreciates that kind of funny but I do.
I’m a big fan of movies and I find nothing more enjoyable than throwing in a DVD, popping some popcorn, and relaxing with a good film. My preferences are varied but what I really enjoy most are the movies normally shown on TCM. I’ve spent hundreds of hours watching those films and without hesitation would do it again.
One thing above all that interests me are the anomalies made during filming that are missed by the editors and end up in the final version. I’m sure some of them are done purposely but many are just screw-ups that were missed. I stumbled on this information concerning a few movie foul-ups that aren’t all that well known (at least not to me). The next time you happen to be watching any of these films with a friend of family member you can dazzle them with your superior knowledge of movie trivia. Enjoy.
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In 1982 during the filming of Raiders of the Lost Ark a great blooper can be found in the scene where German soldiers and Gestapo agents were lifting the Ark. If you look closely as the camera pans along the hieroglyphics on the wall you’ll see paintings of C3PO and R2D2, the robots from the Star Wars classic (another George Lucas film).
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This tidbit is from the movie Fortune Cookie made in 1966. The blooper scene shows Walter Matthau leaving one room and entering another and he appears to have lost a great deal of weight in the process. Matthau suffered a heart attack while this scene was being filmed; only half of the scene was completed before he entered the hospital. He returned five months later to finish the job almost 40 pounds lighter than he was in the first part of the filming.
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In 1971 during the filming of Diamonds are Forever, James Bond tips his Ford Mustang up on two wheels and drives through a narrow alley to escape from the bad guys. Unfortunately in the final version the Mustang enters the alley on its two right wheels and leaves the alley on its two left wheels.
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Close Encounters of the Third Kind filmed in 1977 also had a blooper worth mentioning. Towards the end of the movie Richard Dreyfus and Terry Garner smashed through several roadblocks as they neared the Devil’s Tower. The license plate on their station wagon kept changing.
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Now let’s go back to 1954 to the filming of Rear Window. The star Jimmy Stewart, in a cast and sitting in a wheelchair, is arguing with Grace Kelly. His cast magically switches from his left leg to his right during the scene.
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1967 during the filming of Camelot, King Richard (Richard Harris) praises his medieval kingdom while speaking to some of his subjects. Someone dropped the ball because in that scene Harris is wearing a Band-Aid on his neck.
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And last but not least one small blooper from one of my all-time favorite movies, Abbott and Costello Go to Mars (1953). In the movie they actually go to Venus.
I hope to discover more of these little miscues in other films and if I do I’ll be sure to pass them along.
