Archive for the ‘Sex’ Category

11/08/2021 ***Limerick Alert***   Leave a comment

A woman who lived in St. Paul,

Had breasts undeniably small;

Her husband growled: “Dear,

Why not burn your brassiere?

It’s fulfilling no function at all!”

11/08/2021 Is 2021 Becoming 1984?   Leave a comment

George Orwell

I’m a reader of just about any printed material.  I enjoy fiction, nonfiction, and anything else I can get my hands on.  By far my favorite genre is science fiction and I’ve been reading it religiously since the age of nine.  I love it for a number of reasons but primarily because of its ability to foretell the future.  So many things included in the oldest sci-fi stories have eventually become part of our reality i.e. lasers, satellites, cell phones, and space travel. I then asked myself the question, if sci-fi writers have the ability to see the future so clearly, why not others. The novel 1984 is considered sci-fi by some but to me it’s just social commentary taken to extremes.  But . . . could it be prophetic as well?

I look at the direction of our country today.  It’s slowly sliding toward socialism with people like LBJ, Jimmy Carter, Barack Obama, Bill Clinton, and Joe Biden insinuating their kind of changes into every facet of our lives. In Orwell’s future, the Party is everything and only our service to the Party has any value. Sounds vaguely familiar doesn’t it?

Orwell rewrote the language into something called Newspeak. Changing words to reflect new meanings such as terms like Head Start, Hope and Lifetime Learning Credits, Peace Corp., Americorp and of course Welfare. Newspeak allowed the Party to suddenly change the perception of something just by making the name more palatable.  The “proles” weren’t smart enough to figure that out. Are we?

BIG BROTHER IS WATCHING was the mantra of the “proles” in Orwell’s novel.  The “proles” were the regular citizens excluded from the upper echelon of society and needed to be strictly controlled. Could the NSA be the new “Big Brother”? Could Homeland Security be the new “Thought Police”?  You tell me.

Mentioned throughout Orwell’s novel are the following three terms:

  • WAR IS PEACE – Doesn’t this clearly describe our current approach to the rest of the world or not?
  • FREEDOM IS SLAVERY – Does corroding our civil rights and freedoms under the guise of security explain this?
  • IGNORANCE IS STRENGTH – When government transparency becomes just some phony “politically correct” term, does that explain this?

Orwell’s” Ministry of Truth” comes alive when you read this description:

There were the huge print shops with their sub-editors, their typography experts, and their elaborately equipped studios for the faking of photographs.  There was the tele-programs section with its engineers, its producers, and its teams of actors specially chosen for their skill in imitating voices.” – Sounds a lot like the Main Stream Media and “Fake News” to me.

I could continue these comparisons all day long.  Orwell had the Thought Police and the Ministry of Truth and we have the Criminal Justice System. The comparisons were striking to me but will easily be shrugged off by our current government as a gross exaggeration of an old and antiquated novel.  Just like the lasers and communication satellites were written about in the 1940s, at the time they were also considered a gross exaggeration.  I’ve made my decision on where I think were headed as a country and a society.  I’m not saying it’s a certainty but it could become our reality very easily and very quickly.

I’ll admit one thing of Orwell’s that does not translate to our current generation is the “Ministry of Love”.  He thought his “Big Brother” government should mandate copulation and childbirth as a service to the Party as a means of keeping the population levels growing.  I’m sure he never anticipated a government assisted by the courts that would permit the wholesale slaughter of unborn children just to maintain the status quo and keep citizens voting a certain way.

LETS CALL THAT OUR “MINISTRY OF UNLOVE”

11/06/2021 ***Limerick Alert***   Leave a comment

I met a lewd nude in Bermuda,

Who thought she was shrewd, I was shrewder;

She considered it crude

To be wooed in the nude –

I pursued her, subdued her, and screwed her.

11/05/2021 Welcome Back to the 1960’s   Leave a comment

Definitely Not Me!

I thought I would spend some time today dragging you back to the reality that was the 1960’s. I’ve written this story one other time many years ago but I think it never hurts to repeat something that makes me smile. I hope you enjoy it as much as I did at the time.

Let me take you back to the 1960s when life was good, drugs were plentiful, and love was free (as we all know it’s never free). I was a struggling Art major attending a small midwestern school with my fair share of financial difficulties as most college students have. I was forced to take jobs that I hated but sometimes you just have no choice in the matter. I was a busboy in the college cafeteria during my freshman year which was quite possibly the most demeaning job I’ve ever had. It was awash with benefits like the $1.50 an hour I was making and the incredible amount of crap I had to take from my fellow students. I decided a short time later that I’d never bus tables again, resigned my position, and walked away.

By walking away it made my financial situation a bit more difficult forcing me to scramble to find some kind of work to pay my bills. Where do you go in a case like that, the student billboard of course. As I was perusing through the tons of nonsense hanging on that billboard I found a small note with only three words on it and a telephone number, NUDE MODEL WANTED. I put the note in my pocket and returned to my dorm room to give it more thought. An hour or so later I finally called the number and surprise, surprise, it was one of my professors home telephone number. In those days $10 an hour was a lot of money but the consequences of modeling nude were numerous. He assured me I wouldn’t be required to model for my own classmates but I knew that being in such a small school the word would get out quickly enough. For about a week I weighed the pros and cons of sitting nude before numerous art classes and finally made the fatal telephone call and accepted the job.

You have to understand something, I was at that time in my life extremely shy and my self-esteem had yet to be developed to its present fantastic levels. My instructions were as follows; sit unmoving for one to two hours a session (10 min. break per hour), make no unnecessary facial expressions, no acknowledgment of friends, and TO BE TOTALLY FREAKING NAKED. I must’ve been out of my mind.

Not Me Either!

Day one started in front of the mirror in my dorm room checking my body for unnecessary hair in odd places and zits no matter where they were. There was only so much I can do because “what you see is what you get”, so I made my way to the Art building for my debut. I stood in the hallway, removed my robe and pranced (I could’ve used a better word here) naked into the room. Unfortunately as I looked around I knew damn near everyone. All of my so-called friends and classmates decided they would show their moral support by attending. The hooting and catcalls only lasted for a few minutes until the instructor quieted things down. He was grinning and enjoying himself like everyone else. As I told them all the next day and as I’m telling you now, “it was a VERY, VERY cold room”. I was able to ignore all the laughter, lewd comments, and the snickering but I managed to survive.

Over the next three months I modeled for probably 500 students and I soon became quite popular in the artist community. I had more dates than I can handle and my dance card was always filled on the weekends. Is there a moral to this story? I really can’t say. Getting naked in front of strangers was difficult but the money was good and kept my head above water for that school year. I got naked many times over the years since but only in special one-on-one situations with female friends where I immediately waived my fee.

I LOVED THE 60’S AND I LOVE GETTING NAKED

11/17/2021 ***Limerick Alert***   Leave a comment

There was a young fellow, from Florida,

Who liked a friends wife, so he borrowed her;

When they jumped into bed,

He cried: “God! Strike me dead!

This isn’t a vagina – it’s a corridor!”

Posted November 3, 2021 by Every Useless Thing in Bitch & Complain, Humor, Limericks, Sarcasm, Sex

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11/02/2021 ***Limerick Alert***   5 comments

There was a young lady named Jo,

Whose lover had pulled out too slow;

So they tried it all night,

Till he got it just right –

Well, practice makes perfect you know!

***Limerick💗Alert***   Leave a comment

There was a nurse anxious to score

With such style she was hard to ignore.

There’s one way she likes

But it gave me the frights,

But still I came back for more.

Posted October 31, 2021 by Every Useless Thing in Humor, Limericks, Sarcasm, Sex

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10/29/2021 ***Limerick 💗Alert***   1 comment

Said Miss Vero, at one of her bars:

“Sex is more fun in bed than in cars.

You feel more at ease,

Your ass doesn’t freeze,

And no one can see all my scars.

10/28/2021 ***Limerick Alert***   Leave a comment

There was an old fellow named Bill,

Who swallowed an atomic pill;

His navel corroded,

His asshole exploded,

And they found both his nuts in Brazil.

10/26/2021 ***Limerick💗Alert***   Leave a comment

Many years ago a girl I once knew,

Was in desperate need of a screw.

Not too hard to find, someone who is kind,

And would bang her till she was black and blue.

But who??