Said Miss Vero, at one of her bars:
“Sex is more fun in bed than in cars.
You feel more at ease,
Your ass doesn’t freeze,
And no one can see all my scars.
10/29/2021 ***Limerick đź’—Alert*** 1 comment
I đź’—My Belly Button Leave a comment
I’ve always been a believer that “an unexamined life is not worth living”. It’s a habit I’ve gotten into over the years when I wish to relax, Zen out, and ponder my life. Have I ever had any major epiphanies along the way, why yes I have. Even the smallest of things that seem unimportant and inconsequential should be examined, thought on, and then blogged about.
I have to admit I’ve been a big fan of belly buttons for most of my life. Not just my own but many bellybuttons of the female persuasion have caught my eye on more than one occasion. I’m definitely not a connoisseur of bellybuttons but just an aficionado for sure. Haven’t you ever wondered and I mean ever wondered why bellybutton lint is generally blue in color? Today is your lucky day because I’m here to explain it to you. I discovered this short essay quite by accident and immediately knew it was something my readers would need to know and appreciate. Here we go . . .
- A number of surveys have been undertaken in relation to bellybutton lint. They’ve all found that the lint is generally blue in color and is more prevalent in the navels of certain types of people. To answer why it tends to be blue, the origin of the lint must first be considered.
- It’s thought that the lint, comprises fibers from clothing, as well as some skin cells, that are channeled to the navel from below by hairs on the stomach throughout the day as the body moves. The hairs also help to dislodge the fibers from the clothes.
- It is also been found that men with large stomachs accumulate more lint, probably because their abdomen presses harder against their clothing, causing more fibers to dislodge, and also because their navels tend to be deeper, allowing more lint to accumulate there. Supporting this theory is the fact that outward protruding navels rarely collect lint.
- The reason why the lint is colored blue has been the subject of much conjecture, but it’s generally thought to be related to the color of the clothing worn below the navel, which is generally dark colors such as blue. However, the lint of people who wear a variety of colors still tends to be blue, because blue is the result of combining a number of different colors, just as the lint found in the filters of washers and dryers tends to be bluish, being the combination of the fibers from all of the clothes in the load.
Now, I understand how excited you’ve become to receive this important and critical information. It’s surprising how much reference material about bellybuttons and bellybutton lint is available on the internet. If you’re as excited about this information as I am, feel free to start surfing and become better educated about the wonderful world of bellybuttons. I now feel as though my court ordered public-service requirement has been met. My late mother would’ve been so proud.
OUTIES SUCK
10/28/2021 ***Limerick Alert*** Leave a comment
There was an old fellow named Bill,
Who swallowed an atomic pill;
His navel corroded,
His asshole exploded,
And they found both his nuts in Brazil.
10/28/2021 Our So-Called Celebrities Leave a comment
I realize how many of you absolutely adore and idolize celebrities and some politicians. I will admit that not all of them are objectionable but as with any group of people there’s a certain percentage that give them all a bad name. I thought I’d start off first with five presidents that were arrested and convicted of crimes of one sort or another. See if you can match up the arrest with the appropriate photograph. Not as hard as you might think but if nothing else it makes them a little more human.
NAME THAT PRESIDENT
President Ulysses S. Grant was once arrested for speeding and his horse and carriage were impounded. He paid in a $20 fine and then walked back to the White House.
President Thomas Jefferson and President-To-Be James Madison were once arrested by an overeager police officer in Vermont in the spring of 1791, for carriage riding on a Sunday.
Then there’s “Tricky Dicky” Nixon of Watergate fame. The first and only president to be forced to resign from office because of his misdeeds and terrible judgment. Fortunately for him Pres. Gerald Ford officially pardoned him.
President Franklin Pierce was arrested in 1853 for running over an old lady.
Now that you’ve completed the presidential quiz, next comes some really out of control celebrities. Some of these photos are old but most are relatively current. Without cheating, name as many as you can without doing research on-line and then send me your total on a comment. I thought they were fairly easy so it shouldn’t be all that tough. It’s fun to see them without all the makeup and expensive clothes and having “regular folks” problems.
CELEBRITY MUG SHOTS
NAME YOUR FAVORITE CELEB
Nick Nolte, Charlie Sheen, Lindsay Lohan, Gary Bussey, Paris Hilton, Robert Downey Jr.,
Jane Fonda, Mike Tyson, Yasmine Bleeth, Macaulay Culkin, Kloe Kardashian, Heather Locklear
AMERICAN IDOLS ?
10/27/2021 Stupid Celebrity Quotes Leave a comment
Here’s the third list of stupid quotes as promised. I wouldn’t want the celebrities to feel left out. Regardless of what they say, they love any and all attention they can get. We should be soooooo proud.
- “When I pictured heroin, I pictured some crazy crackhead with no shoes under a bridge. You never think that is going to be you. And it never was me. I was never under a bridge, and I always had shoes.” – Nicole Richie
- “I want to go to Egypt and Japan and opened orphanages… a chain of them.” – Lindsay Lohan
- “I have started smiling! I’ve mastered this smirk; it’s a smile that isn’t a smile.” – Victoria Beckham
- “To have your niece die in your arms is the greatest gift from god.” – Celine Dion
- “Sometimes what I actually love to do is go to a farm and get fresh milk or watch a pig get slaughtered.” – Jake Gyllenhaal
- “I felt like my vote was the vote that put [Obama] into office. It was down to one vote, and that was going to be my vote. And that may not be true, but that’s how much power it felt like I had.” – P Diddy
- “There are many other kinds of milk available. Why don’t we try drinking rats’ milk and dogs’ milk?” – Heather Mills
- “I’m not a sexual person, really. I don’t really care about sex.” – Paris Hilton
- “It’s so bad being homeless in winter. They should go somewhere warm like the Caribbean where they can eat fresh fish all day.” – Lady Victoria Hervey
- “If you have intercourse you run the risk of dying and the ramifications of death are final.” – Cyndi Lauper
- “I always wanted to be a hairdresser.” – David Beckham
- “I’ve always wanted to be a spy, and frankly I’m a little surprised that British intelligence has never approached me.” – Liz Hurley
- “There’s the perception Danni Minogue is the sweetest little thing in the world but she’s not… she’s got balls of steel.” – Sharon Osborne
- “I’ve been up and down so many times that I feel as if I’m in a revolving door.” – Cher
- “How the fuck am I supposed to get in then?” – Kate Moss, on being told that the only available toilet on a photoshoot location had no door.
WHEN IN DOUBT, USE THE “STUPID” ALERT BUTTON
10/26/2021 ***Limerickđź’—Alert*** Leave a comment
Many years ago a girl I once knew,
Was in desperate need of a screw.
Not too hard to find, someone who is kind,
And would bang her till she was black and blue.
But who??
10/26/2021 Dumb Democratic Quotes Leave a comment
Here they are as promised, giving free and equal time to the liberals and Democrats. The quotes from the Republicans yesterday were pretty bad and so are these. I hope all you conservative types enjoy these quotations as much as the liberals enjoyed yours yesterday.
Great Orators of the Democrat Party – PAST:
- “One man with courage makes a majority.” – Andrew Jackson
- “The only thing we have to fear is fear itself.” – Franklin D. Roosevelt
- “The buck stops here.” – Harry S. Truman
- “Ask not what your country can do for you; ask what you can do for your country.” – John F. Kennedy
And, Great Orators of the Democrat party – RECENT:
- “It depends what your definition of ‘Sex’ is?” – Bill Clinton
- “That Obama … I would like to cut his nuts off.” – Jesse Jackson
- “I invented the Internet.” – Al Gore
- “The next Person that tells me I’m not religious, I’m going to shove my rosary beads up their ass.” – Joe Biden
- “I have campaigned in all 57 states.” – Barack Obama
- “You don’t need God anymore, you have us Democrats.” – Nancy Pelosi
- “Paying taxes is voluntary.” – Sen. Harry Reid
- “Bill is the greatest husband and father I know. No one is more faithful, true, and honest than he.” – Hillary Clinton
- And finally an unforgettable gem from the “Mother of All Democrats”, Nancy Pelosi: “We just have to pass the Healthcare Bill to see what’s in it.” – Nancy Pelosi
And one lone Republican:
- ”Life’s tough . . . It’s even tougher when you’re stupid.” – John Wayne – It applies to all politicians of all parties.
Well, I’ve supplied you with stupid quotes from both of the major political parties. Tomorrow I will offer up some pearls of wisdom from well known celebrities both living and dead. They are incredible.
đźź© GO GREEN – RECYCLE CONGRESS
10/25/2021 **DUMB đź’©đź’© AWARD** Leave a comment
I’ve given a lot of thought to reintroducing this “Dumb Shit Award”. It’s something I instituted on my former blog and I feel it’s time to bring it back. We’ve become what is known as a target-rich environment. This award is only given to people or things that have earned this prestigious honor.
So I’d like to introduce the first “Dumb Shit Award” winner for 2021, namely anyone who refuses to be vaccinated against Covid-19. All of those “Dumb Shits” who think by defying the government they will somehow protect the rest of use from infection. Oh, I’m sorry, I forgot, those “Dumb Shits” could care less about anyone else. Congratulations to you all.
TO COLLECT YOUR AWARD, REPORT TO YOUR LOCAL VACCINATION CLINIC
10/25/2021 Dumb Republican Quotes Leave a comment
This is the first of two posts concerning our two major political parties. I decided to do the dumb quotes of the Republicans first to avoid the never ending complaints of bias from the Democrats and other Liberals. After all this time they still haven’t gotten my core message. I don’t much care for any politicians from any party. This is my friendly gesture to all of you non-Republicans out there that stupid things are consistent to all parties. Enjoy . . .
- “If this were a dictatorship, it’d be a heck of a lot easier, just so long as I’m the dictator.” ~ George W. Bush
- “When the President does it that means that it’s not illegal.” ~ Richard M. Nixon
- “Exercise freaks are the ones putting stress on the health care system.” ~ Rush Limbaugh
- “Grown men should not be having sex with prostitutes unless they are married to them.” ~ Jerry Falwell
- “Facts are stupid things.” ~ Ronald Reagan
- “This foreign policy stuff is a little frustrating.” ~ George W. Bush
- “Trees cause more pollution than automobiles.” ~ Ronald Reagan
- “[America has to import so many workers because] for the last 35 years we have aborted more than a million people who would have been in our workforce.” ~ Mike Huckabee
- “I even accept for the sake of argument that sexual orgies eliminate social tensions and ought to be encouraged.” ~ Supreme Court Justice Antonin Scalia
- “I would not say that the future is necessarily less predictable than the past. I think the past was not predictable when it started.” ~ Donald Rumsfeld
- “Well, I learned a lot. I went down to (Latin America) to find out from them and (learn) their views. You’d be surprised, they’re all individual countries.” ~ Ronald Reagan
- “We have a lot of work to do. It’s a very hard struggle, particularly given the situation on the Iraq-Pakistan border.” ~ John McCain (the countries share no common border)
- “The only way to reduce the number of nuclear weapons is to use them.” ~ Rush Limbaugh
- “Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, shame on you.” ~ Representative. Virginia Foxx
- “I know the human being and fish can coexist peacefully.” ~ George W. Bush
Be sure to check back tomorrow for the Democratic posting on this subject. You’ll see that both stupid and smart people have the ability look ridiculous at times. It’s unfortunate that we the citizenry are forced to listen to all their never-ending nonsense.
GOOD LUCK TO US ALL
10/24/2021 ***Limerick Alert*** Leave a comment
A nervous young girl from New York,
Is so cautious, from fear of the stork,
To prevent being raped,
You’ll find she’s duct-taped,
And her asshole is plugged with a cork!
everyuselessthing.com 