01-19-2013   2 comments

I’ve really been trying to keep the political ranting to a minimum since starting this new blog but January seems like a good month to relax and begin asking more uncomfortable questions that the Government would prefer not to answer.  I spent a year and a half attempting to spread the word to anyone who would listen about how dangerous the government has become and about Obama and the liberals in particular.  After seeing the results of the last election I realized I was trying to inform people of things they would rather ignore or deny. 

I  think our country is spiraling downward and will come to an ignominious end at some point in the future.  The comparisons to the Roman Empire are many and scary as hell.  I won’t get into the dirty little details because this blog posting will then be a little  too long for most people who these days require only “sound bites”.  I’ll no longer waste my time in trying enlightening anyone but I will continue to ask the questions I think need to be answered.

Being as old as I am, I figure I won’t alive long enough to see the anarchy boiling beneath the surface in this country explode . I know it’s there and God help the people who refuse to see it or choose to ignore it.  I’m going to ask you a few questions now and I don’t really expect any answers.  Just read them and think about them if your one of the few people left who still attempts to do that.

Why do you think smoking Pot is legal and widely accepted but smoking tobacco is treated like a criminal offense?

Why is it that you can get arrested for expired tags on your car but not for being in the country illegally?

Why can a seven year old boy can be thrown out of school for calling his teacher "cute" but hosting sexual exploration classes in grade schools is perfectly acceptable?

Why are children forcibly removed from parents who appropriately discipline them while children of "underprivileged" drug addicts are left to rot in filthy infested cesspools?

Why are hard working and successful citizens rewarded with higher taxes and Government intrusion, while improper and lazy behavior is rewarded with EBT cards (Food Stamps), WIC checks, Medicaid, subsidized housing, and free cell phones?

Those were five questions no Liberals, Democrats, or Obama’s want to answer. Even sadder there are no Conservatives, no Republicans, and no Independents that will answer them either.  Here’s five more conundrums for you think and worry about.

Why is the government’s plan for getting people back to work to provide 99 weeks of unemployment checks (to not work)?

Why is being self-sufficient considered a threat to the government?

Why do our politicians think that stripping away the amendments to the Constitution is really protecting the rights of the people?

Why is murder of any sort prosecuted to the fullest extent of the law but hundreds of thousands of government sponsored abortions are overlooked?

Why is using the "N" word (by any non-black citizen) considered "hate speech" but writing and singing songs about raping women and killing cops is considered an "art form"?

Now I’ve given you ten scenarios that are cause for any thinking individual to question this government and the politician hypocrites who are running it. Are you asking these questions of your local politicians?  I’d better hurry and finish my list before I become violently ill and have to stop.

Why do the rights of the Government come before the rights of the Individual?

Why is it possible for an 80 year old woman to be stripped searched by the TSA but a Muslim woman in a burka is only subject to having her neck and head searched?

Why is being stripped of your ability to defend yourself making you "safer"?

Why is a parent’s signature required to go on a school field trip but not to get an abortion?

Why are working class American’s  required to pay for their own health care (and the Health care of everyone else) while unmarried women are free to have child after child on the "State’s" dime while never being held accountable for their own bad choices?

I’ve ranted as much as I can on these subjects for years and to no avail. When the “inmates are running the asylum’” how much “Hope for Change” can we expect?

Thanks Mike.

01-18-2013   Leave a comment

Finally a day without snow or sleet or rain.  I really wish good old Mother Nature could make up her mind on these things.  Maine has always been known for unpredictable weather but in recent years it’s been a little stranger than normal.  The snow has finally stopped, the sun is shining, and the temperature has dropped into the teens. A perfect winter day for taking photographs and walking in the woods.

I loaded my snow shoes and camera into the car and away I went.  I did a two mile walk through the woods along the Scarborough Marsh.  It’s an eleven hundred acre marsh bordering on the ocean and it’s surrounded by woods and a large variety of wildlife.  Today the wildlife was scarce because of the deep snow but there were still plenty of tracks of many of the smaller animals who don’t weigh enough to sink into the snow.

I was able to take quite a few photos and I think some of them are really decent. Unfortunately it was cold enough that my camera became a little sluggish and I was forced to keep it inside my clothing to keep it warm and operational.  The wind chill is around eight degrees but the good thing is a hard crust is forming on the snow. By tomorrow I won’t be needing any clunky snowshoes to get around.

I did find a few of the stupider ducks who must have forgotten to go south for the winter.  There were about twenty of them huddled along the shore in the freezing water having a meeting to elect a new navigator.  The one they have must be a moron.

I did catch a quick look at my nemeses, the big fat barn owl I’ve been trying to get photos of forever.  He’s always around but never sitting still or close enough for me to a good shot.  I keep telling myself, be patient, and I’ve been telling myself that for almost two years.  He’s either extremely lucky or just a lot smarter than I am.

The cold finally began getting to me and I retreated back to my car.  It just felt so damn good to get out into the woods without worrying about hunters mistaking me for a cow or some other animal.  I did see quite a few deer tracks but noting fresh. I’d love nothing better than a nice clear picture on a nice clear day of a deer standing alone in the snow.  I’m sure to see a few before the winter ends and hopefully I’ll get lucky soon.  Who knows.

I’m back home now and thawing out a little. I need to take a quick shower and then answer a few emails before dinner.  My better-half’s been craving chicken wings for days and she’d better be using my wing sauce in her preparations or there’ll be hell to pay.

All in all a pretty good day.  I got out of the house for a few hours, walked in the woods, got some fresh air, and took a nice collection of photos.  I’ll take this kind of day any time.

Posted January 19, 2013 by Every Useless Thing in Just Saying

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01-17-2013   Leave a comment

Another day spent dealing with snow.  Me and my best friend, my new snow thrower, spent some quality time together this morning trying to keep up with a minor snow storm that dumped another four inches of snow on us.  I can’t begin to tell you what a great purchase that snow thrower was for me.  I was initially telling everyone that if I bought one it might never snow again. As usual my cynical side got the best of me.  It’s only the middle of January and I’ve already used it three times and I’m sure there’s more coming.

My better-half is off today and it’s been "task" day for her and by association also for me. Clean this, dust that, pick up those, and on and on it goes.  At least in the summer I can escape from these kind of days by taking my camera and disappearing, with her or without her.  This snow just complicates matters making disappearing much more difficult.  Thankfully our home is large enough where I can actually disappear for short periods and she can’t seem to find me.

After her frenzy of cleaning we made our obligatory visit to the local Walmart. It’s always a fun place to visit when you just want to get out of the house before you scream out loud.  Walmart never disappoints no matter when you visit. 

We got to the parking lot and between the piles of snow and the puddles of melting snow it was a real mess.  I took maybe ten steps from my car and found my first Walmart surprise of the day, a wadded up pair of what appeared to be well worn panty hose just lying there looking up at me. I normally see something like that and then try to imagine under what circumstances someone either throws away or drops their panty hose in a Walmart parking lot. Did some careless woman open her purse to put her panties back on and drop her panty hose.  Maybe it was a couple of Walmart associates taking their mid-day break for a quickie in the car. Maybe it was a couple of extremely horny customers who just had to take a jump in the Walmart lot so they could brag to their friends about it.  The possibilities are endless but also quite entertaining.

As I entered the store the greeter as always woke up just long enough to hand me a flyer of some sort and then nodded off again.  He was a fine looking specimen who was probably seventy years old but looked a hundred. The place was packed as usual with quite the assortment of customers who always seem to be clogging the specific aisle where I’m shopping. I tried to cut down a side aisle to avoid some of them and nearly tripped over some mid-twenties woman sitting on the floor with all her belongings strewn around her reading a freaking magazine.  She gave me that look like I was the person doing something wrong.  Being the calm and relaxed person that I am I politely asked in my best Walmart voice "Are you sure you have enough room?" I hate when people attempt to ignore me as she tried to do so I continued with "Could you please more your ass so I can get by?" Again I got “the look” but she finally gathered her possessions and moved along. She left the magazine lying on the floor because God forbid she might have strained something important putting it back in the rack. 

I saw her later loitering around in the Dunkin Donuts where she was huddled having a heavy duty conversation with a few of her freaky, pierced, and filthy friends.  They were discussing the issues of the day concerning the real differences between having an actual Dunkin Donuts mug versus using the environmentally damaging Styrofoam. I again received "the look" as she whispered to her group to tell them what an asshole I was. I immediately got another look from all of them as a group which made me want to take a bow, but I didn’t.

In the back of my mind I was thinking the whole time that just maybe she was the owner of those wadded up panty hose and finding them was a karmic warning for me. Oh well, another minor annoyance sponsored by my local Walmart.

“Life is Good”, or so said on some A-hole’s T-shirt at the pharmacy.  I hate being negative but in groups of more than two most people suck.

A beautiful day in the neighborhood.

01-16-2013   2 comments

I’m beginning to think I’m becoming less tolerant these days.  I’ve always been opinionated but lately it’s taken an ugly turn.  Many people have constantly bitched and complained about the younger generations and their misuse of the English language but I think we should all be bitching and complaining about those complainers.  I’m more pissed off and annoyed with the young adults and grownups who, trying to be cool, pickup a  lot of this annoying slang.  Kids will be kids but adults are supposed to set the example for them.  Now it’s the kids setting something less than a good example for the adults.

I thought I’d compile a list of the things I hear every day when I’m out and about mixing and mingling with the great unwashed.  The more I hear the more annoyed I get. I had to stop listening because my list was getting way too long. This list is definitely not in the order of annoyance.

“You know what I’m say’in?” –  I could just scream every time I effing hear this.  And you never hear it just once, it’s used over and over again in the same conversation.

“It’s literally a thousand degrees outside.”  – This annoying adult slang.  People don’t know what’s literal and what’s figurative.  College education be damned.

“24/7/365”  – I just hate this.

“Whatever”  – Just say what your thinking, say F-You!

“Like”  – "So I was, like, going to the store and, like, this guy stops me and, like, starts talking to me in, like, french."

“Whassssup?”  – Morons, idiots, and Hip Hop

“Dis”  – Do you realize how many people in this country have been killed or beaten because of this word?

“No way!  WAY!!” – Thanks to the movie Clueless for this nonsense.

“Just Saying” – Just freaking stupid.  I actually caught myself starting to use this and I’m so ashamed.

"My Bad!" – Anyone using this needs a foot buried deep in their ass.

”Sick (meaning cool)”  – This is just sick, I think.

 

WORDS THAT ANNOY

"Snap"

"Tool”

"Awesome"

"Totally"

“Dude (when talking to a woman)”

“Trippin”

“OMG & LOL”

My better-half’s like, you know, whatever and I’m like, no way and she’s like, way! This posting is like, you know, OMG.  Have a sick and awesome day.  Just Saying!

Here’s an up and coming favorite in use by many of our nine to eleven year olds": 

CHILLAXIN

You heard it here first.

Posted January 17, 2013 by Every Useless Thing in Humor, Just Saying

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01-15-2013   Leave a comment

This morning is for recreation and not creation for at  least a few hours.  The better-half is long gone to work, the cat’s been fed, and the coffee fresh.  I think a short trip to Middle Earth is necessary before I continue what should be a rather busy day. 

42” of X-box is the only proper way to kick start a day and I’m loving it.  This new Lego Lord of the Rings is a hoot and it appears that it will take a great deal of time to master.  I’m at 23% completion and I’ve been working it at it off and on for a couple of weeks already.  Hours and hours of continuous fun ahead for me.

Late morning has pulled me back into the kitchen where I’m beginning the process of making my special spicy pasta sauce.  My hands smell of onion and are burning like fire from the jalapenos (forgot my gloves).  Did most of the prep work last night so it’s all about the cooking and canning today.  I’ve got to get back to it right now before things overcook.

La-Dee-Da (Time passing)

Well its two hours later and I’m putting the finishing touches to things.  I just finished canning seventeen pints of some really tasty meatless sauce.  I went easy on the heat for this batch since many of the people who will be receiving it aren’t crazy about really hot food.  I held back one quart jar that we’ll be using for dinner later today.  I can’t wait.  The one downside to all of this is the cleanup which seems to take twice as long as the preparation. It’s a big, gigantic, huge, pain in the ass.

Tweedle-Dee-Dee

Just finished a rather enjoyable meal of miniature cheese raviolis covered with my delicious sauce.  I’m not really bragging but it was one helluva good vegetarian dish.  We’ve been trying a little harder to cut down the amount  of meat we consume but don’t worry, I’ll never quit completely.  I’m a big believer in eating a little of everything but a not lot of any one thing. It’s all about portions and quality for us now.  It’s one of the reasons I enjoy making my own food, I know exactly what’s in it.  No added sugars or preservatives just great flavors. 

Our hobby has expanded to include the making of sauces, relishes, jams, canned pickles and veggie mixes, and spicy green beans (all from the garden).  Both my better-half and I make our own versions of home-made wine, flavored vinegars, and a habanero cooking wine that is to die for.  Besides being a little healthier for us both it’s also great fun.   

Well back to the cleanup. I want to be finished before my better-half gets home.

01-14-2013   6 comments

I recently supplied all of you with a Baby Boomer Test that was fun to do but wasn’t all that challenging.  And yesterday I supplied everyone with the correct answers to that quiz.  What I’m putting forth today is something a little more comprehensive and much more detailed.  It’s not a test or a quiz just a recitation of facts and things from my past that are slowing fading away and no longer all that relevant to the younger generations.  It may appeal to all of you Boomers out there and if it does, Yippee! 

Let’s go back . . .

Before the Internet or IPods, IPads, and wireless telephones, before semiautomatic weapons and crack cocaine. Before SEGA or Super Nintendo or the X-box.

Way back…

I’m talking about hide and seek at dusk or just sitting on the porch. Hot bread and butter, eating a super-dooper Dagwood sandwich, Red light, Green light, 1 2 3. . .

Chocolate milk, lunch tickets, penny candy in a brown paper bag. Hopscotch, butterscotch, Double-Dutch, jacks, kickball, and dodge ball. Mother, May I? Hula Hoops, Sunflower Seeds, jawbreakers, blow pops, Mary Janes, and running through sprinklers. The smell of summer and licking sweaty and salty lips.

There’s more . . .

Catching lightening bugs in a jar, playing slingshot and Red Rover, and swimming in the creek. Stealing and eating apples from the neighbors trees. When around the corner seemed far away, and going downtown seemed like going somewhere. Playing with puppies.

Bedtime, climbing trees, building a private clubhouse in the woods (no girls allowed), playing Home Run Derby with your best friend. A million mosquito bites and sticky fingers. Cops and Robbers, Cowboys and Indians, sitting on the curb, jumping down the steps, jumping on the bed, and pillow fights.

Being tickled to death, running till you were out of breath. Laughing so hard that your stomach hurt. Being tired from playing …. Remember that? Eating potatoes cooked in a bonfire and flaming marshmallows on a stick.

I’m still not finished . . .

Licking the beaters when your mother made a cake. When there were two types of sneakers for girls and boys (Keds & PF Flyers), and the only time you wore them at school, was for "gym.", sledding in the winter, and ice skating at the local pond. When nobody owned a purebred dog. When a quarter was a decent allowance, and another quarter a huge bonus. When you’d reach into a muddy gutter for a penny. When girls neither dated nor kissed until late high school, if then. When your mom wore nylons that came in two pieces.

When you got your windshield cleaned, oil checked, and gas pumped, without asking, for free. And you didn’t pay for air, and, you got trading stamps to boot! When laundry detergent had free glasses, dishes or towels hidden inside the box.

When any parent could discipline any kid, or feed him or use him to carry groceries, and nobody, not even the kid, thought a thing of it. When it was considered a great privilege to be taken out to dinner at a real restaurant with your parents.

Not done yet . . .

When all of your male teachers wore neckties and female teachers had their hair done, everyday. When they threatened to keep kids back a grade if they failed…and did! When being sent to the principal’s office was nothing compared to the fate that awaited a misbehaving student at home. Having a weapon in school, meant being caught with a slingshot. When nearly everyone’s mom was at home when the kids got there.

Basically, we were in fear for our lives but it wasn’t because of drive-by shootings, drugs, gangs, etc.  Disapproval of our parents and grandparents was a much bigger threat!

Decisions were made by going "eeny-meeny-miney-mo." Mistakes were corrected by simply exclaiming, "do over!" "Race issue" meant arguing about who ran the fastest. Money issues were handled by whoever was the banker in "Monopoly."

Catching fireflies could happily occupy an entire evening. It wasn’t odd to have two or three "best" friends. Being old, referred to anyone over 20. The net on a tennis court was the perfect height to play volleyball and rules didn’t matter. It was unbelievable that dodge ball wasn’t an Olympic event.

The worst thing you could catch from the opposite sex was cooties. It was magic when dad would "remove" his thumb. Scrapes and bruises were kissed and made better.

And nobody was prettier than Mom.

Isn’t it nice to look back to see where we’ve come from.  Things have changed so dramatically in such a short period of time it’s almost impossible to guess where we’ll be in another fifty years.  It’s exciting and damn scary all at the same time.

01-13-2013   Leave a comment

Another quiet day spent in the kitchen attempting to duplicate something I’ve been paying a high price for on the net.  I use a great deal of red-savina habanero paste when making many of my dishes but in recent months the price of the paste has sky rocketed.  After a little thought I decided to try and make my own version.   Normally this paste when purchased is superhot and it was crucial that I get as much heat as possible in my recipe as well as a decent flavor.

Off to Wholefoods, a place I normally won’t shop because of their inflated prices.  I’m forced into it today because none of the local markets carry quantities of fresh habaneros.  I purchased 1.5 pounds of habaneros and an additional pound of Serrano peppers.  So far so good.  I must warn you in advance if you’d like to try this, WEAR THICK LATEX GLOVES. The next step involved cleaning, seeding, and dicing all of the peppers.  Take your time and be sure to get them finely diced, then placed into a sealed container and refrigerated overnight. I like to give them a chance to mingle their flavors.

The next day I placed the diced peppers into a large blender, added 3 tbsp. of my home made Jalapeno vinegar (standard white vinegar works too), and three heaping tablespoons of ground red pepper.  Set it on liquefy for approximately ten minutes.  You’ll end up with about 16 oz. of extremely hot paste which can be used to add serious heat to any meal. I’ve experimented for years and have a good idea how much to use.  Experimentation is a must your first time if you don’t want to burn your lips off.

I bottled the paste into two 8 oz. bottles  which should last at least six months in the fridge.  I’ll be making a meatless pasta sauce tomorrow and I’ll be using my newly created pepper paste.  I’ll let you know how it goes.

Now for you Baby Boomers out there.  I didn’t forget about the Boomer Test answers I promised earlier so here they are.  If you’re proud of your score comment back and let me know how you did.

Below are the correct answers:

1.    B – Bounty

2.    D – Wonder Bread 

3.    D – Cassius Clay 

4.    B – Crest

5.    B – He Is us 

6.    A – Good night, Chet 

7.   D – When you brush your teeth with Pepsodent 

8.   C – Maynard G. Krebs

9.   C – Almond Joy & Mounds

10. C – Pants on fire

11. D – The American Way 

12. B – It’s Howdy Doody Time 

13. D – Oh my 

14. B – Chiffon Margarine

15. C – Over 30 

16. B – Joe Namath 

17. D – A little dab’ll do ya 

18. D- Wendy’s

19. D – On Blueberry Hill 

20. A – Mary Martin 

21. D – John, Paul, George, Ringo 

22. B – Who wrote the book of Love 

23. B – Cause I eats me spinach 

24. C – Smile, you’re on Candid Camera 

25. D – Melt in your mouth not in your hand

01-12-2013   2 comments

While shopping in a local supermarket a week ago I was standing in line at the check out and listened to two store employees discussing the company and the general lack of a  ‘work ethic’ by the younger associates.  I was a bit taken aback hearing it loudly discussed where it could be heard by many nearby customers.  ‘Work ethic’ is obviously not the companies only issues along with a lack of company pride, morale, and loyalty.

I understand that loyalty to any company is almost impossible to create in today’s retail atmosphere but that doesn’t make it any less important.  Also, the basics of success never change.  Word hard, be on time, play well with others, and speak well of your company (even if you don’t mean it). That’s a “politically correct” basic law of employment these days and unless you realize it your screwed.  They’ll be plenty of time after you retire, get laid off, or fired for you to make your opinions heard.  ‘Work ethic’ is something you hopefully learn from your role models as you grow up and then pass along to your children.

I’ve always had an excellent ‘work ethic’ which was taught to me by my father. He was a man who I always considered to be a force of nature.  He was big, strong, and opinionated and never feared to speak his mind to anyone about anything.  Both sides of my family tree were blue collar immigrants to the US who settled in western Pennsylvania to work in the coal mines, steel mills, glass plants, and farms.  I watched them march off to the mines and mills every day at 5:00 am and return home filthy and exhausted at 6:00 pm or later.  Family was everything  then  and caring for them was every adult’s priority.

I was about seven when my father’s union went on strike.  He didn’t receive unemployment insurance just a small stipend from the union’s strike fund.  The strike was mean and nasty and seemed to go on forever.  My dad was forced to find a part-time job to bring in enough money for the basics.  There was at that time a government “surplus food program” but that only supplied us with ten pounds of processed cheese every couple of weeks, a box of powdered milk, and containers of my all-time favorite, powdered eggs.  We survived on that awful stuff because we had no choice. To this day I still crave that damn processed cheddar cheese.

My dad found his part-time job delivering coal.  This was back in the day when almost every household heated their homes with coal. He would arrive at the mine at 5:30 am, pick up a dump truck and a load of coal and begin his daily deliveries.  He worked between ten and twelve hours a day to make on a good day fifteen dollars.  He would arrive at the client’s home, remove sections of a metal chute from the truck, clip them together to reach the coal chute going into the house. He would then tip the truck bed up and push the coal down the chute and into the residence.  He collected the money from the homeowner and proceeded on to the next house.  At the end of the day he turned in the money at the mine and went home.

I was about seven years old and I wanted to spend time with my dad and to help him.  So I bugged him to death to take me to work with him and he finally agreed. So about twice a week I would ride along to help my dad (I wasn’t much help) deliver coal throughout the neighboring communities. He did all the work and I tried to help. We’d get home late, filthy dirty from the coal dust and hungry enough to even eat those crappy powered eggs. 

I saw what hard work really was watching my dad.  He never complained (around us kids) and always did what was needed to take care of his family. He returned to work after the strike without bitching or complaining and never looked back. He worked for that same employer for another thirty five years moving his way up the food chain from laborer to running the Maintenance Department for the entire factory.  He eventually took his well deserved pension, retired, and lived out the remainder of his life a reasonably happy person.

Those memories are what created in me a good solid “work ethic”.  It made me something of an over-achiever and that stayed with me throughout my own career  until my retirement a few years ago.  Everyone should be so lucky to have role models like mine.  I never heard the term ‘work ethic’ used until I was in the work force as an adult. It’s something I never really thought much about because it was ingrained in me at such a early age.

I’m not here to complain about todays younger generations who have an entirely new list of issues to deal with.  I know I’m glad I’m not their age and just starting out.  That doesn’t change the fact that the basic approach for success remains the same, generation to generation.   Life and work are never going to be easy and they shouldn’t be.  If you become successful through your own hard work and effort and it’s too easy, you never properly appreciate it. 

Just my humble opinion.

01-11-2013   Leave a comment

I received this test from a friend recently but wasn’t completely happy with the way it was formatted. I added a number of questions and kept the number of answer choices to just four instead of the five or six in the original version. Do you consider yourself a true “Baby Boomer”?  Here’s your chance to prove it. Get a paper and pencil handy to record your answers because if you’re a true “Boomer” you won’t be able to remember them anyway.  Here are 25  relatively easy questions which you should be able to answer and which the younger generations  may have some difficulty with.   And no cheating!

1. What’s the quicker picker-upper?

A. Maxwell House Coffee

B. Bounty paper towels

C. United Airlines

D. None of the above.

2. What builds strong bodies 12 ways?

A. Flintstone vitamins

B. Wonder Bread

C. Milk

D. Cod Liver Oil3. Before he was Muhammed Ali, he was…

A. Sugar Ray Robinson

B. Rudolph Valentino

C. Fabian

D. Cassius Clay

 

4. Look ma….. No cavities! A. Pepsodent

A. Pepsodent

B. Crest

C. Ipana

D. Johnson’s Tooth Powder

5. Pogo, the comic strip character said, ‘We have met the enemy and…..

A. It’s you.

B. He is us.

C. He’s really me and you.

D. He surrendered.

 

6. Good night, David . . .

A. Good night, Chet 

B. Good night, Irene

C. Good night, Gracie

D. Good night, Steve

 

7. You’ll wonder where the yellow went…

A. When you use Tide.

B. When you clean your tub. 

C. If you buy a soft water tank. 

D. When you brush your teeth with Pepsodent.

 

8. Before he was the Skipper’s Little Buddy, Bob Denver was Dobie’s friend…

A. Randy Goodman

B. Steve Reeves…

C. Maynard G. Krebs.

D. Corky B. Dorkus 

9. Sometimes you feel like a nut — sometimes you don’t.

A. Snickers

B. Milky Way

C. Almond Joy & Mounds

D. $1000 Dollar Bar

 

10. Liar, liar…

A. On the wire.

B. Jump up higher.

C. Pants on fire.

D. Join the choir

11. Meanwhile, back in Metropolis, Superman fights a never ending battle

for truth, justice and….

A. Lois Lane.

B. World peace.

C. Red tights.

D. The American way.

 

12. Hey kids! What time is it?

A. It’s time for Yogi Bear

B. It’s Howdy Doody Time

C. It’s time for Romper Room

D. The Mighty Mouse Hour

 

13. Lions and tigers and bears..! …

A. Oh, no

B. Gee whiz

C. I’m scared

D. Oh my

14. It’s not nice to fool Mother Nature!

A. Old Spice

B. Chiffon Margarine

C. Vitalis Hair Tonic

D. Top Brass

15. Bob Dylan advised us never to trust anyone…. 

A. Over 40.

B. Wearing a uniform.

C. Over 30.

D. You don’t know.

16. NFL quarterback who appeared in a television commercial wearing women’s pantyhose…  

A. Kenny Stabler

B. Joe Namath

C. Roger Staubach

D. Steve Young

 

17. Brylcream… 

A. Smear it on.

B. Tame that cowlick.

C. It’s a dream.

D. A little dab’ll do ya.

 

18. Where’s the beef?

A. Burger King

B. McDonalds

C. Jack in the Box

D. Wendy’s

19. I found my thrill…

A. In Blueberry muffins.

B. Down at the mill.

C. With a man named Bill.

D. On Blueberry Hill.

 

20. Before Robin Williams, Peter Pan was played by…

A. Mary Martin.

B. Doris Day.

C. Errol Flynn.

D. Sally Fields.

 

21.  Name the Beatles…

A. John, Steve, George, Ringo

B. John, Paul, Stacey, Ringo

C. Jay, Paul, George, Ringo

D. John, Paul, George, Ringo

 

22. I wonder, wonder, who.

A. Was it you? 

B. Who wrote the book of love? 

C. Who I am? 

D. Really loved you. 

 

23. I’m strong to the finish…

A. Cause I eats my broccoli. 

B. Cause I eats me spinach.  

C. And don’t you forget it. 

D. Cause Olive Oyl loves me. 

 

24. When it’s least expected, you’re elected, you’re the star today.

A. Smile, you’re on Star Search.  

B. Smile, we’re watching you. 

C. Smile, you’re on Candid Camera.  

D. Smile, you’re on TV.

 

25. What do M & M’s do?

A. Make your tummy happy.

B. Melt in your mouth, not in your pocket.. 

C. Melt your heart. 

D. Melt in your mouth, not in your hand. 

 

Well, how do you think you did?  I’ll post all of the answers in the next day or so and you can check your scores.  Not to brag but I answered correct on all but one question on my first try so I’m now an officially verified “Boomer”. Have fun with it. 

Posted January 12, 2013 by Every Useless Thing in Humor, Useless Crap

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01-10-2013   2 comments

Here are the statistics folks, 4100 pages and 199 Chapters. This marks the finish of my Harry Potter reading extravaganza.  I couldn’t put the last book down and finished reading it at 3:00 this morning (OMG).  I’m so glad I made the journey through those books because it offered me a much richer story and well defined characters that the movies ever could or did.  If you’re an avid reader I’d recommend reading the story from start to finish to anyone.  Rowling made a boat load of money from her efforts with Harry Potter and in my humble opinion she deserved every bit of it.  It’s time to move along to the next reading challenge and to leave Harry and his friends behind. Hopefully I’ll figure out what that challenge will be very soon.

In my travels yesterday I stopped at a local Starbucks in an attempt to give them one last try to wow me with their over priced products.  As you can tell I’m not a fan but I’m willing to spend my hard earned money in an attempt to find something they sell that is worth the price they’re charging.  I’d like nothing better than to have a second option for coffee buying besides Dunkin Donuts.

I recently saw a television ad where Starbucks was pushing a new product, Vanilla Blond Roast.  They indicated in the ad that it’s for people who desire a milder version of their overpriced regular coffees.  Being the nice guy that I am I walked up to the counter and ordered a “Grande” (that a medium for everyone else on the planet) Vanilla Blond coffee.  It was freaking awful. I gagged down a couple of swallows and delivered the remainder directly into a nearby trashcan.  I must say that I really had low expectations to begin with and they didn’t even exceed those.  As I said so many times in the past, “Starbucks Sucks”.  The only good thing I’ve gotten from Starbucks in recent months was a few free apps for my IPad. In the future I’ll just walk to the register, take the weekly free app card, smile at the barista (just so you know, that’s a cashier), and walk away.  I’ll then jump in my car and make my way to DD for a real cup of coffee at half the price.  Just saying!

I’ll leave you today with a joke I heard recently.  Everyone needs a laugh or two especially at the expense of the King Obama. Enjoy!

Obama was leaving the country club golf course when he was accosted by an armed robber who demanded, "Give me all of your money!"

Barack haughtily replied, "Do you know who I am. I’m the President of the United States!"

The robber snarled back, "Then give me all my money."

I knew it, it made you smile too!

Posted January 11, 2013 by Every Useless Thing in Humor, Just Saying

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