Archive for the ‘christmas’ Tag
A few years ago I posted this story more as therapy for myself than anything else. I suffer from a nagging case of Santa PTSB that recurs every December. I want it to be known that I was fighting terrorism as a six year old before it became fashionable. Each time I repost this story it helps me with my Santa issues like nothing else can. That big fat and jolly SOB is known in our house as Osama Bin Santa and the only difference between him and other terrorists is that Santa loves victimizing young kids. With that in mind here’s my scary and terrifying Christmas story.
As a young child my parents made every attempt to make Christmas memorable for my sister and me. My sister was very young and I was just turning 6 years old. I still firmly believed all the stories about Santa’s elves and all the other good stuff. In the back of my young mind there was a seed of skepticism secretly growing. I was beginning to have serious doubts about Santa and my parents as well. A lot of what I was being told by my trusted family members wasn’t what I was hearing on the street (school yard). My friends had almost convinced me that the whole Santa thing was just BS and that the adults were actually the real gift givers. It think it was at that early age that my trust issues with authority figures first began.
My parents began to suspect I was wavering and their propaganda was now falling on deaf ears. In a conspiracy involving my mother, her sister, my grandparents, and my Dad it was decided that drastic action was immediately necessary to convince me that Santa was the real deal. I’d been acting out a lot and being a little disrespectful to my elders so it was time for Santa to step in and straighten me out once and for all.
It was the week before Christmas and we were visiting my grandparents. I was being a huge pain in the ass as usual like a lot of six-year-olds can be at that time of the year. It was just after dark and I was walking through the house down a narrow hallway towards the kitchen. It was dark outside and as I passed the window I glanced over and almost had a six-year-old heart attack. There was Santa looking back at me and smiling a frightening smile. My blood turned cold and I got the hell out of there screaming all the way upstairs to hide under the bed. My parents let me know in no uncertain terms that Santa was out looking for those children who were being good and keeping an eye on those that weren’t. I was on the latter list, of course.
For the next few days I was a complete angel but after dark I was still nervous about looking out the windows. Santa the terrorist had accomplished his mission. I saw him again on two or three other occasions over the next two Christmases, once at our house, and again in the coal cellar at my grandparents home. Unfortunately I’d already consulted with my knowledgeable friends at the playground and I was officially a nonbeliever by then. I went along with the charade for as long as possible since my parents were giving the gifts. They finally had a meeting and decided I was just playing them for extra toys and my game was over.
Many years later while I was digging through an old trunk in my aunt’s bedroom I discovered where Santa had been hiding for all these many years. His retirement consisted of being tucked under a pile of sheets and pillowcases in that old trunk. My aunt laughed until she cried when I confronted her. We relived a very special and scary Christmas memory and enjoyed the moment very much.
What I never told her or my parents was the lingering collateral damage from their actions. To this day during the Christmas season I’m careful in dark rooms and hallways and try never to look out the windows, NEVER. In the malls and stores where Santa is holding court I stay the hell away. That guy still scares the bejesus out of me. Terrorism is no joke.
As we slowly approach Christmas Day I find a need to continue with my blogging of all things Christmas. After the last few days of watching my better-half bake enough cookies and breads to feed an army I’m ready to scream. Even with this broken leg my weight loss program continues and all these goodies in the house with their fantastic smells is driving me crazy. So I decided to hide out in the man-cave and work on a few postings. Anything to stay away from the kitchen. I’ve lost almost thirty pounds so far and the last thing I need is a Christmas holiday season full of candies and cookies.
The first thing I’d like to pass on today are a few thoughts from past and present celebrities. I know how most of you hang on their every word and I hope you enjoy this short look into their thought processes.
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‘I once bought my kids a set of batteries for Christmas with a note on it saying, toys not included.’ Bernard Manning
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‘I stopped believing in Santa Claus when I was six. Mother took me to see him in a department store and he asked for my autograph.’ Shirley Temple
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‘A Christmas shopper’s complaint is one of long-standing.’ Anonymous
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‘Santa Claus wears a Red Suit, he must be a communist. And a beard and long hair, must be a pacifist. What’s in that pipe that he’s smoking?’
Arlo Guthrie
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Why is Christmas just like a day at the office?
You do all the work and the fat guy with the suit gets all the credit.
Anonymous
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‘Santa Claus has the right idea. Visit people once a year.’ Victor Borge
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‘The Supreme Court has ruled that they cannot have a nativity scene in Washington, D.C. This wasn’t for any religious reasons. T hey couldn’t find three wise men and a virgin.’ Jay Leno
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‘Merry Christmas, Nearly Everybody!’ Ogden Nash
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Anyone who believes that men are the equal of women has never seen a man trying to wrap a Christmas present. Anonymous
Next I offer you a few Christmas movie quotes. I live in a family obsessed with remembering movie quotes. Having a conversation with them and not being a movie expert makes communicating difficult at times. These quotes are for them and anyone else who’s interested.
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Aren’t we forgetting the true meaning of Christmas?
You know… the birth of Santa.
Bart Simpson
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Snowman: Did you hear about the church that burned down?
Statler, Waldorf: Holy smoke! Muppet Movie
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Doris: Would you please tell her that you’re not really Santa Claus, that there actually is no such person?
Kris Kringle: Well, I hate to disagree with you, but not only is there such a person, but here I am to prove it.
‘Miracle on 34th Street’
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Look, Daddy. Teacher says every time a bell rings, an angel gets his wings. It’s A Wonderful Life
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Charlie, stay away from those things. They’re reindeer, you don’t know where they’ve been. They all look like they’ve got key lime disease.
The Santa Clause Movie
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Rats. Nobody sent me a Christmas card today. I almost wish there weren’t a holiday season. I know nobody likes me. Why do we have to have a holiday season to emphasize it? A Charlie Brown Christmas
I’m not a fan of watching Christmas movies which puts me immediately in the minority. It seems everyone’s Christmas memories include one or two “special” movies that they enjoyed as kids. I stumbled on a website recently that listed the following movies as the Ten Best Christmas Movies ever. I can honestly say I haven’t seen more than three of the movies on their list. They may be right but I’m not the guy to make that call. It does seem a little odd that there are no mentions made of any recent movies like “Home Alone” or “Christmas Vacation” with Chevy Chase. Just a thought from a non-Christmas movie person.
Christmas In Connecticut (1945) – Barbara Stanwyck
It’s A Wonderful Life (1946) – Frank Capra [Best Christmas Movie]
Miracle On 34th Street (1947) – Kris Kringle
Scrooge (1951) – Alistair Sim
White Christmas (1954) – Bing Crosby Classic
A Charlie Brown Christmas
Mister Magoo’s Christmas Carol
A Christmas Story (1883) – Bob Clark
Joyeux Noel (2005) – WW1 Football Game in the Trenches
Olive the Other Reindeer
I think that’ll do it for today. If you have any suggestions on improving that movie list feel free to say so and I’ll post your changes.
16 SHOPPING DAYS LEFT
My better-half has always been known as a Christmas animal, shopping for gifts, decorating every damn thing in sight, and stressing herself to the max. Of course that stress level spills over onto me more often than not. I’m “that guy” who ends up doing the heavy lifting on most of the chores, except for the shopping and baking. Since I’ve escaped most of that nonsense this year because of my broken leg I have a little extra time for blogging and other activities. I decided to take a short trip down memory lane back to 1952 where as a 6 year old I couldn’t wait for Christmas to arrive.
As a kid Christmas seemed to be more of a religious holiday for us because of my Mom. Gifts were exchanged but weren’t the center of it all. We as a family barely had enough money for essentials let alone for purchasing large numbers of gifts. My mother was and always remained a loyal Catholic follower and I certainly admired her determination to keep the holidays something special religiously speaking.
We attended all of the many church functions and celebrations, listened to Christmas carolers, and sent out tons of Christmas cards to everyone imaginable. She’d then take all of the cards she’d received and tape them around the entry way to our living room. It seemed like a big deal back then to acknowledge each other with Christmas cards and displaying them throughout the home. Emails are fine but just aren’t quite the same as a personally signed card with a short handwritten holiday message. I remember conversations between my Mom and her friends talking about how many cards they’d each received and who sent them. It was a big deal. Sadly with today’s prices for mailing letters it would cost a small fortune to send a hundred cards to friends and family.
Check out this price list from 1952 and then match it against our current prices. It’s scary”:
House: $16,800
Average income: $3,515
Ford car: $1526-$2384
Milk: $.96
Gas: $.20
Bread $.16
Postage stamp: $.03
Hen Turkeys: $ .53 lb
Pkg of 6 Bran muffins $.21
1 lb pkg of M&M’s candies: $.59
Gillette Blue Blades, pkg of 10: $ .49
At Sears – – –
Ladies Corduroy Jackets: $4.99
Cotton knit blouses: $1.98
Men’s Rayon Sport Shirts: $3.66
Men’s cotton flannel shirt: $1.79
Red “Radio Flyer” wagon: $8.75
Westinghouse Open-Handle steam iron: $19.95
Men’s T-shirts and briefs – – –
T-shirts, 2 for $.59
Briefs, each : $.59
I guess the good old days weren’t all that bad after all. At least you could afford to live reasonably well on what we now consider pauper wages. Families felt closer and the holidays seemed to mean more than they do now.
I’m not complaining because time and things change in the blink of an eye. You can’t expect things to remain the same forever because they just won’t. You must be able to change and adapt to keep the holidays something special and meaningful not only for you but for your children. It seems a little harder to accomplish these days but it’s still doable. I’ve always known that if I work exceptionally hard at something it will mean much more to me. With that in mind I’ll spend the next two weeks helping my better-half to relax and enjoy her favorite time of the year.
HAPPY HOLIDAYS
I decided that continuing my Christmas theme this month is important. I spent a few minutes yesterday just reading nothing but the headlines from the Drudge Report and if that doesn’t depress you, you’re a better and stronger person than I. I’ve been reading that site for years and I have to admit it’s a real downer most of the time.
In recent days I’ve slowly been developing a little of the good old kind of Christmas spirit I had as a kid. The tree has been decorated and the lights strung and my better-half has covered every surface of every piece of furniture in the house with Santa statues and assorted Christmas knick-knacks. We’re shopping hard, wrapping presents, and preparing packages for shipment to various family members located around the country. It takes a while for me to get with the Christmas program but eventually I do.
It’s meant to be a happy time so with that in mind here’s a little Santa humor to start your day.
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It was coming up to Christmas and Sammy asked his mother if he could have a new bike. She told him that the best idea would be to write to Santa Claus. But Sam, having just played a vital role in the school nativity play, said he would prefer to write to the baby Jesus. So his mother told him that would be fine.
Sam went to his room and wrote, ‘Dear Jesus, I have been a very good boy and would like to have a bike for Christmas.’
But he wasn’t very happy when he read it over. So he decided to try again and this time he wrote: ‘Dear Jesus, I’m a good boy most of the time and would like a bike for Christmas.’
He read it back and wasn’t happy with that one either. He tried a third version: ‘Dear Jesus, I could be a good boy if I tried hard and especially if I had a new bike.’
He read that one too, but he still wasn’t satisfied.So, he decided to go out for a walk while he thought about a better approach. After a short time he passed a house with a small statue of the Virgin Mary in the front garden. He crept in, stuffed the statue under his coat, hurried home and hid it under the bed. Then he wrote this letter.
‘Dear Jesus, If you want to see your mother again, you’d better send me a new bike.’
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Are you smiling? Good! Now I’ll pass along a selection of kid’s letters to Santa that should keep that smile on your face for the rest of the day. I have to admit I have no memories of writing letters to Santa as a kid but I wish I had. Being able to read them after so many years would have been great fun. Here we go.
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Dear Santa,
Please give me a doll this year. I would like her to eat, walk, do my homework, and help me clean my room.
Thank you, Jenny
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Dear Santa,
Thanks for the race car last year. Can I have another one, only this time one that is faster than my best friend’s race car?
Ricky
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Dear Father Christmas,
I wish you could leave a puzzle under the tree for me. And a toy for my sister. Then she won’t want to play with mine and I can have it to myself.
Merry Christmas, Cassie
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Dear Santa,
You can send me one of everything from the boys’ section of the Sears catalogue. But nothing from the girls’ section. I can’t wait for Christmas to come.
Kent
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Dear Pere Noel,
Could you come early this year? I’ve been really super good, but I don’t know if I can last much longer. Please hurry.
Love, Jordan
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Dear Santa,
I lost my list of toys, so please just send me the stuff that you forgot from last year.
Todd
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Dear Father Christmas,
What should I leave for your reindeer to eat? Do they like cookies, too? My mom won’t let me bring hay into the living room.
Your friend, Sandy
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Dear Santa,
I need a new skateboard for Christmas. The one I got now crashes too much. Band-aids would be OK too.
David
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Dear Santa,
Would you rather I leave you cookies and milk or pizza? Dad says you’d probably like the pizza. Write back right away to let me know.
Love, Lisa
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Dear Kris Kringle,
Please give me a tank, a jet fighter, 20 green soldiers, and a bazooka gun. I’m planning a surprise attack on my brother. So don’t tell anyone.
Thanks, Danny
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Dear Santa,
How will you get into our house this year? We don’t have a chimney and my father just installed a very expensive security system.
Julie
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Dear Santa,
Mommy says that you only bring presents for the good little boys. That isn’t fair.
Brian
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Dear Santa,
How old are you? How did you meet Mrs. Claus? Is your first name really Santa? Can I be an elf next year? Who is your favorite kid? How do you fit all those toys in your sleigh? I have more questions for later.
Your pal, Pauline
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Dear Father Christmas,
My mother told me to write to you and say thanks for the train set. My dad plays with it all the time.
Mike
I’m not sure when or where the tradition of writing these Santa letters began. The following article was released to the public in 2011 after being written in 1910. The list of items reveals the age of the letter and I’m still not totally sure what some of these items actually are.
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Hannah Howard’s Christmas letter was hidden and lost in a chimney for years. The ghost of Christmas 100 years past arrived early for a County Down, Northern Ireland man when he discovered the “Santa letter” his late mother wrote when she was a girl.
The scorched letter was dated Christmas Eve 1911 and had been up a chimney in a Dublin house for decades. Victor Bartlem’s mother, Hannah Howard, had written her Christmas wish list when she was just 10 years old.
It was first discovered in 1992 when the current house owner John Byrne installed central heating. He came upon Hannah’s letter in the chimney and decided to keep it as a memento of times past. He made it public in 2011 in the Irish Times and it was there that Victor – living more than 100 miles away in Bangor, County Down, read about it.
Here is that list written over a hundred years ago.
A baby doll.
A waterproof with a hood.
A pair of gloves and a toffee apple.
A gold penny and a silver sixpence.
A long toffee.
Hannah was born on Christmas Day 1900 and she died in 1978.
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The items requested then appear to be very basic and far less demanding than our modern day equivalents. If you have young children or grandchildren, take a few minutes and let them write a letter to Santa. Then hide them away for twenty or more years. What better gift could you give the authors than a look back to their childhoods. They’ll love it.
Here’s Our Tree!
The end of November signals the start of all the normal Christmas insanity that most of us complain about. Shopping, crowds, traffic jams, annoying music, and people everywhere with their hands extended looking for money. It makes me happy not to be a religious person because if I were, I’d be really pissed off and upset. The Christmas tradition in this country has slowly morphed into a typical American greed-fest. I thought today I’d forward along a list of thirty factoids about the holiday from a few countries around the globe and many from the United States. Some are crazy and others just a little bit interesting. Enjoy them and hopefully they’ll spark some of that good old Christmas spirit from when you were a kid. I threw that photo of our tree in just to let you know I am participating regardless of how much I complain.
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Puritan Oliver Cromwell outlawed Christmas celebrations and carols in England from 1649-1660. The only celebrations allowed were sermons and prayers.
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The people at Reynolds (aluminum foil) make a substantial amount of money selling foil during the Yuletide season. It has been confirmed that at least 3000 tons of foil are used to wrap turkeys annually.
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Warning: Christmas shopping may be hazardous to your health. If you are an avid Christmas shopper statistics have concluded that you will be elbowed at least three times while shopping. Ouch!
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Sending Christmas cards is still the in thing to do around Christmas time. Americans on average send out 28 Christmas cards to friends and family yearly, and guess what, it’s certainly not in vain either, most will receive 28 for the same period.
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Christmas is a great time to exercise. You will walk an average of five miles between the parking lot and stores, however, don’t let this give you a false sense of security, most people still gain those pesky Christmas pounds despite this.
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Bolivians celebrate Misa del Gallo or “Mass of the Rooster” on Christmas Eve. Some people bring roosters to the midnight mass, a gesture that symbolizes the belief that a rooster was the first animal to announce the birth of Jesus.
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In Poland, spiders or spider webs are common Christmas trees decorations because according to legend, a spider wove a blanket for Baby Jesus.
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Alabama was the first state in the United States to officially recognize Christmas in 1836. Oklahoma was the last state the declare Christmas a holiday.
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The Germans made the first artificial Christmas trees out of dyed goose feathers.
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Each year more than 3 billion Christmas cards are sent in the U.S. alone.
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All the gifts in the Twelve Days of Christmas would equal 364 gifts.
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In A.D. 350, Pope Julius I, bishop of Rome, proclaimed December 25 the official celebration date for the birthday of Christ.
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According to the Guinness world records, the tallest Christmas tree ever cut was a 221-foot Douglas fir that was displayed in 1950 at the Northgate Shopping Center in Seattle, Washington.
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The traditional three colors of Christmas are green, red, and gold. Green has long been a symbol of life and rebirth; red symbolizes the blood of Christ, and gold represents light as well as wealth and royalty.
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According to data analyzed from Facebook posts, two weeks before Christmas is one of the two most popular times for couples to break up. However, Christmas Day is the least favorite day for breakups.
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Contrary to popular belief, suicide rates during the Christmas holiday are low.
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The world’s largest Christmas stocking measured 106 feet and 9 inches long and 49 feet and 1 inches wide. It weighed as much as five reindeer and held almost 1,000 presents. It was made by the Children’s Society in London on December 14, 2007.
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Christmas trees usually grow for about 15 years before they are sold.
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President Teddy Roosevelt, an environmentalist, banned Christmas trees from the White House in 1912.
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Each year there are approximately 20,000 “rent-a-Santa’s” across the United States. “Rent-a-Santa’s” usually undergo seasonal training on how to maintain a jolly attitude under pressure from the public.
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Christmas wasn’t declared an official holiday in the United States until June 26, 1870.
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Oklahoma was the last U.S. state to declare Christmas a legal holiday, in 1907.
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In 1962, the first Christmas postage stamp was issued in the United States.
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Christmas purchases account for 1/6 of all retail sales in the U.S.
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Because they viewed Christmas as a decadent Catholic holiday, the Puritans in America banned all Christmas celebrations from 1659-1681 with a penalty of five shillings for each offense.
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Because of their pagan associations, both the holly (associated with the masculine principle) and the ivy (the feminine) and other green boughs in home decoration were banned by the sixth-century Christian Council of Braga.
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There are two competing claims as to which president was the first to place a Christmas tree in the White House. Some scholars say President Franklin Pierce did in 1856; others say President Benjamin Harrison brought in the first tree in 1889. President Coolidge started the White House lighting ceremony in 1923.
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There are approximately 21,000 Christmas tree farms in the United States.
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The first printed reference to a Christmas tree was in 1531 in Germany.
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Approximately 30-35 million real (living) Christmas trees are sold each year in the U.S.
ENJOY THE SEASON
“A man who dares to waste one hour of time has not discovered the value of life.” Charles Darwin
I know a lot of you folks are already gearing up for the holidays. The month of November begins the insanity that is Thanksgiving, Christmas, and then New Years. For me I find Veterans Day to be more important than the others. I assume that most vets feel the same way. I don’t like making a big deal out of it on this blog because for me it’s more of a private and solemn occasion. I’ll thank any vet who has served this country and I honor those who gave their lives in it’s defense. That’s all you’ll hear today from me. I see no need for patriotic songs and fancy memorials. Just a quiet minute and a bowed head and I’m good.
I expect that everyone is already being bombarded by that good old Christmas spirit since most retailers filled their shelves with Christmas cheer before Halloween. I find that unfortunate but not unexpected. I suppose it’s just a matter of time before they start pushing Christmas sometime in August. Spend, Spend, Spend! That’s becoming an almost religious mantra in this country and I don’t see it stopping anytime soon.
I made a quick review of some national observances for the month of November and it’s mind boggling. Who knew this month was so damn important. It’s also mind boggling just how much time our well paid and self-involved representatives have wasted having these observances enacted. This list is only the monthly observances. There are an additional 28 weekly and 128 daily observances I didn’t bother listing. If we truly trust in our legislators to do the right thing then we should be celebrating each and every one of them. So folks, in the future we should all take November off and party like the fools that we are. Find an observance you like and then celebrate it.
Adopt A Senior Pet Month Link
American & National Diabetes Month
American Indian Heritage Month Link (See also August)
Aviation History Month
Banana Pudding Lovers Month
Diabetic Eye Disease Month
Epilepsy Awareness Month Link
Family Stories Month Link
Gluten-Free Diet Awareness Month
Greens and Plantains Month Link
Historic Bridge Awareness Month Link
International Drum (Percussion) Month Link
Lung Cancer Awareness Month
Manatee Awareness Month Link
MADD’s Tie One On For Safety Holiday Campaign (11/16-12/31)
Military Family Appreciation Month Link
National Adoption Month
National PPSI AIDS Awareness Month
National Alzheimer’s Disease Month
National COPD Month Link
National Family Caregivers Month Link
National Georgia Pecan Month
National Home Care & Hospice Month Link
National Impotency Month Link
National Inspirational Role Models Month
National Life Writing Month
National Long-term Care Awareness Month
National Marrow Awareness Month
National Medical Science Liaison (MSL) Awareness & Appreciation Month Link
National Native American Heritage Month Link
National Family Literacy Month
National Novel Writing Month Link
National Peanut Butter Lovers Month
National Pet Cancer Awareness Month
National Pomegranate Month Link
National PPSI Aids Awareness Month
National Roasting Month Link
National Scholarship Month Link
Pancreatic Cancer Awareness Month Link
Plum and Pomegranate Month Link
Prematurity Awareness Month Link
PTA Healthy Lifestyles Month Link
Spinach and Squash Month Link
Sweet Potato Awareness Month Link (See also February)
NoSHAVEmber (US – Beard Month or November (Australia – Moustache Month )
Vegan Month
Worldwide Bereaved Siblings Month
World Sponge Month
I’m exhausted just reading this list let alone paying any attention to it. With Thanksgiving on the horizon don’t forget to be thankful for our politicians of both parties for doing their part in screwing up this country like none of our enemies have been able to do. Darwin’s quote is very telling these days.
The Christmas/New Year’s holidays are now passed and are slowly being erased from my memories or so I’d hoped. Only 363 shopping days left until Christmas. How’s that for a “buzz kill”. I spent a great part of the day today removing all traces of Christmas cheer from our home. I took down the lights, the tree, the ornaments, the knick-knacks, and anything else I could think of. Packaged them all up and hid them away in the attic for another year. I shouldn’t be too negative about these holidays since it was one of the better holiday seasons I’ve had in recent years.
I’ve now experienced my first holidays without both of my parents which was certainly a struggle at times. I spent a lot of time remembering my childhood Christmases and all the good times we had. My Mom loved Christmas most of all and always did everything in her power to make it special. Just after last Christmas and as her health began to fail, it was painfully obvious to those closest to her that she knew it would be her final Christmas. With the help of my sister she insisted on keeping the Christmas tree up well into April. She was enjoying her Christmas memories for the final time.
After finishing the general Christmas cleanup I decided to begin enjoying one of my favorite gifts, the extended Blue-ray DVD set of the Lord of the Rings. It’s 15 DVD’s just filled with more information that you can possibly handle. I lounged most of the day away suffering quietly from a minor hangover and watching the movies. I made it a full five hours and have only just finished watching the second installment. Best gift ever! I lost myself in Middle Earth for the day and it was wonderful.
My better-half returns to work tomorrow and she’s been mumbling and grumbling about it all day. I tried to make her feel better but to no avail. I did get a smirk or two when I mentioned in passing we were only 31 days from Ground Hog Day. It really didn’t seem to give her the boost I’d hoped but I’ll keep trying.
Off to bed for a good nights sleep then back to our somewhat normal existence tomorrow.
This may be the best Christmas morning I’ve ever had. My better-half with help from my nagging stayed in bed until ten o’clock. We left the bedroom only for calls from Mother Nature and to refill our coffee mugs. We laid there like two fat, dumb, and happy morons celebrating the fact that the holiday was over for us. It was lightly snowing at the time but by days end we had our traditional White Christmas. I think we could have stayed in that warm and toasty bed all day but my better-half had her engine running early and was getting a bit antsy. She forced me from the bed and the room which kind of “harshed my Christmas morning buzz” a bit. Dammit!
For most of the day we were on the phones, on the computers, or on the IPads wishing good cheer to the whole damn planet. She spent a few hours reviewing all of the photographs that she’d taken over the holiday (about 600), erasing the bad, and burning the good to CD’s for other family members. It was still a lazy and relaxing day, it was great.
It took me a little longer than I thought to clear the Christmas debris from the house because I was busy eating goodies left over from last night. I’ll tell you right now, it’s going to take me a few months to get rid of all this Christmas cheer that showed up just north of my belt buckle. We had a quiet dinner, just the two of us, where we devoured a rib roast that was to die for. Fat and sassy after the meal we repaired to the living room for movie night.
Here’s my take on the movies we watched. Katherine Heigl in ‘One for the Money’ wasn’t too shabby. She was supposed to be a bounty hunter which took a real stretch of my imagination to believe but then seeing her semi-nude made it almost worth the wait. I give it a C+ for story, B- for nudity.
Then we fired up the movie (using the term loosely) ‘Horrible Bosses’. It was well named because it was really horrible. How anyone convinced Kevin Spacey and Jennifer Anniston to even consider being in it was beyond me. Dumb, and Dumber meets Police Squad. I give it an F- for story and an A- for nudity when I got to see a little more of brunette Jen than ever before. Trust me, if anyone tries to give you a gift of that movie, give it back, and remove them from your list of friends. Just freaking awful.
The better-half was in bed early with a 4:00 am wakeup call looming. I found it necessary to stay up for a while longer and to kick Tiger Woods ass in an eighteen hole X-box tournament. It felt good to crawl into bed finally and to put another Christmas behind us.
Onward to New Years and 2013.
Three shopping days left. Are you finished with your preparations yet? This posting was my valiant attempt to find a culture that celebrates Christmas in the most traditional fashion. That being said you should also be aware that my better-half was born Ohhhh so may years ago in Corpus Christy, TX and is extremely proud of her Texas upbringing. Corpus Christi is just a stones throw from Mexico so the Mexican influences are deeply ingrained in her. One of the things I initially loved about her was her passion for all things Mexican since I love hot food and many of their traditions. Since we’ve been together I’ve eaten more Mexican food than most actual Mexicans. Years ago my favorite snack was potato chips but that has long since changed. It’s now tortilla chips covered in cheese and slices of jalapenos. My repertoire of Mexican dishes has been greatly expanded and there are times when I’m begging for a traditional American home cooked meal.
I’ve always been a huge fan of hot peppers and extra super hot salsa but she’s taken me to whole new level. I go for weeks at a time where my mouth never stops burning and I won’t even mention the other things that burn regularly as well. I hear reports that people who regularly eat hot and spicy food are healthier and have less of a chance of heart attack. That might be BS but if it’s true I should live to be two hundred.
It’s time for a visit to Mexico and a look at their Christmas traditions. The Mexican people seem to have a rich religious tradition for their Christmas celebrations which is something that been lost in many parts of this country. The Nine Days of Posadas is a perfect example.
The celebrations begin nine days before Christmas and include a reenactment of Mary and Joseph’s search for lodging in Bethlehem. Neighborhood families take turns hosting a night at their home. At each home, visitors will chant asking for lodging as they carry an image of Mary and Joseph with candles. After three such stops, a family will be let in to join that household in saying the Rosary, singing holiday songs, and a nightly party for the children complete with a piñata that will be filled with fruit and other treats. Nine days of visiting and fun especially for the kids.
Noche Buena (Christmas Eve) most families attend a midnight mass, followed by a dinner at home which makes for a very late meal. They then place an image of the baby Jesus into the Nativity.
In most Mexican families, Christmas itself is celebrated not with gifts as in other cultures. Instead, Christmas in Mexico is more about being with family and eating, eating, eating, than with gift giving.
Gifts are exchanged in Mexico on January 6th, which is called Día de los reyes, or Kings’ Day. And they’re delivered by none other than the Three Wise Men themselves. Children place their shoes near a window so the Magi can leave a gift and many children actually receive new shoes. Some Mexican families also have a Christmas tree but that is an individual families preference.
The Poinsettia is a common Christmas decoration. This beautiful plant is native to Mexico and unlike in most of the world, in Mexico the poinsettia is not simply decorative, it has been used for thousands of years in Mexican folk remedies.
Many Mexican families will have an egg bread wreath, called a rosca de reyes. Usually, this bread wreath also features a small, baked-in representation of the Baby Jesus. This wreath is also then used in the celebration of Candlemas on February 2nd and whoever gets the piece of bread bearing the image of Baby Jesus must care for it the whole year until the next Christmas celebration.
On February 2nd the family puts the Nativity scene carefully back into its holding and then enjoys a meal of tamales which marks the official end of the Nativity season.
All in all I think the Mexican approach to Christmas is rich and meaningful and something we can all learn from. I understand that the food is to die for and includes such traditional dishes as Mexican Spiked Cider served with tamales on the side. It is sometimes called "Ponche con Piquete" (punch with sting), which can be as simple as a big simmering pot of cider to which rum and spices are added.
My other favorite would be Sweet Rice Pudding (Arroz con Leche). It’s simple to make and very, very tasty.
There you have it. An old style Christmas approach with a large religious component. While I’m not all that religious myself their approach takes me back to my early years when my family’s approach to Christmas was of a similar nature.
Maybe next year we can take some of the Mexican traditions and mix them with our own. We’ve already collected a number of strings of red chili pepper Christmas lights. It could get interesting and I’m sure I’ll let you know how it goes.
Today has been the most excited I’ve been in weeks. All of our Christmas preparations are finally completed. Everything is purchased, wrapped, baked, decorated, and it only took two months. All that work, effort, and thought invested into one 24 hour period after which we get to pack it all up for another year. Are we all that nuts? Don’t answer that, it was rhetorical.
You would think a huge sigh of relief would be in order but Nooooooooooooo! My better-half is what you might call an obsessive planner and her whole life revolves around tasks and their completion. She has a driving need to be working around the clock to feel any sense of accomplishment. Unfortunately some of that craziness often spills over onto me. I’m just the opposite. In my world if my tasks are complete, it’s time for a comfortable chair, a hot toddy, and a few hours of relaxation.
I was advised last evening as we were baby-sitting the new grandson who seemed to be enjoying himself a great deal by crapping his pants, throwing up on my better-half, and screaming at the top of his lungs, that on Saturday night we would be taking a Christmas pilgrimage to Portland, Maine. We could walk along Commercial Street, romantically hand-in-hand, to window shop, people watch, and quite likely stop at Three Dollar Dewey’s for a beer or two. I think she’s trying to establish some new Christmas traditions for just the two of us.
It’s important for her for some reason that we make a mandatory stop at Mexicali Blues (again with her Mexican fixation), a shop full of incense, do-dads, and New Age thing-a-ma-bobs. I normally prefer walking along Commercial street when the weather’s warm and I’m wearing a T-shirt and shorts. Not so much in winter clothing with piles of snow and slush everywhere. You should also be aware that since Commercial street is located along the water adjacent to Portland harbor that nothing says Christmas like the harbor smell during low tide.
After an hour or two of hoofing it up and down the street, we’ll be in and out of stores that I would never visit on my own. When we’re finished with the grand tour we can return to our car and hopefully not find a gift from the Portland PD meter maids, a $25.00 dollar parking ticket.
Next we’re scheduled to take a short ten minute ride to her favorite place in Maine and the world. The Great Lost Bear, a tavern and restaurant, located on Congress street in Portland. She requires quarterly pilgrimages to this bar because of their massive collection of beers from all over the world. They’ll stuff us with some of the hottest chicken wings you could ever possibly eat, a few needed drinks, and then send us on our way. Hopefully we make it home without hitting any sobriety checkpoints, being arrested for a DUI, or having our car towed.
If we complete all of that without incident we’ll have had a wonderful time and finally be able to settle in and wait for Christmas Day to arrive. I’ll then be patiently waiting for the next twelve months so we can do it all over again now that it’s an official family tradition. After all it’s freaking Christmas.
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