After another week of computer problems, calls to software companies, and idiot non-English speaking customer service representatives, I finally have an 75% operational computer system. I’ve always loved working with computers but I came close this week to taking a sledge hammer to the whole damn setup. After I did that I would put a truly evil curse on every software company that has turned their customer service over to AI’s. I count my blessings that I can even complete this blog today but I will try. How about some meaningless sports trivia?
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MISSPELLED CUP
The Stanley Cup has two typos engraved on it. “BQSTON BRUINS, TORONTO MAPLE LEAES” and a number of misspelled players names as well.
The Olympics have been hosted by multiple countries that no longer exist: West Germany, Yugoslavia, and the USSR.
There is a minor league baseball team called the Montgomery Biscuits with a logo of a biscuit with bulging eyes and butter for a tongue.
A wok isn’t just a cooking implement but can also be a sled. So says the Wok World Championship group. Teams of players in modified woks race down bobsled tracks.
During the 1903 MLB season, pitcher Ed Doheny won 16 games and was then committed to an asylum for the “criminally Insane” where he remained for the rest of his life.
CAL RIPKEN
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Pete Rose was banned from baseball by MLB Commissioner A. Bartlett Giamatti.
Between 1982 and 1998 (16 years) Cal Ripken Jr. never missed a single Baltimore Orioles game.
Legend has it that Hall of Fame baseball player Wade Boggs once drank 107 beers in one day while traveling with the team.
NFL safety, Ronnie Lott, broke his pinky finger during a game. To avoid leaving the game he directed the team doctor to cut it off.
MLB Manager Alvin Dark once said, “There’ll be a man on the moon before pitcher, Gaylord Perry, ever hits a home run. Perry hit his first home run less than an hour after Neil Armstrong said his famous words.
Don’t let the title of this post fool you. This trivia is for those of you who think you know everything there is to know about pro football. I’m certainly no expert and when I tested myself on these question I failed miserably. Lets see how you do with some old-school NFL trivia. The answers as always are listed below.
Which NFL team first drafted Johnny Unitas?
2. What NFL team began life as the Frankford Yellow Jackets?
3. The first playoff game between division leaders came in 1933. Who beat who?
4. What NFL team was once sponsored by the Staley starch company?
5. Which team has lost more NFL playoff games than any other?
6. When was the last time that a team failed to throw a forward pass in a regular-season game?
7. What NFL championship was decided indoors?
8. The first million-dollar gate for an NFL championship game came in 1961. Who beat whom, and where?
9. Who were the two players suspended in 1964 for bidding on their own teams?
10. Who made the winning score in the NFL’s first sudden-death overtime game in 1958?
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Here’s a little bonus brain teaser for you. Complete this famous quote. Playing a tie game is like . . .
Answers
Pittsburgh Steelers, Philadelphia Eagles, Chicago Bears 23 – New York Giants 21, Chicago Bears when the team was located in Decatur, Illinois, New York Giants, Chicago Bears beat the Portsmouth Spartans, 9-0, December 18, 1932, December 3, 1950, Cleveland versus Philadelphia, Green Bay 37, New York Giants zero, at Green Bay, Paul Hornung, Green Bay; Alex Karras, Detroit, Alan Ameche, Baltimore, scored a touchdown against the New York Giants, . . . kissing your sister.
I sat for a while this morning (Sunday) trying to decide what to post. With the NFL season “kicking off” I’m being constantly distracted by my football insane better-half. She’s wearing a different jersey for each of the games she intends to watch on three TV’s in three different rooms of the house. All the while giving me a steady stream of narrative on teams that I could care less about. So my solution is to calm down, put on my noise cancelling headset, and read some poems written by some young upcoming poets. Enjoy them and then you can return to all of the football insanity.
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By Jackson O’Donnell, Age 8
The clouds float by with eaglets watching by and by Really watching. They must think that they are kings Those funny little bald things.
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By Mona Thomas, Age 11
A little white mouse Playing upon a sun beam Then sliding back down.
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By Philip McIntyre Junior, Age 12
I see a rabbit drinking at a stream, I know it wants to run from me, tense as it may seem, But some unknown force makes it stay right there and sit, The same curiosity that makes me keep watching it.
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By Maura Copeland, Age 10
The heat of yesterday transformed the city into A kingdom of clouds. The skyscraper pierced the fog looking like temples of an ancient land.
I’m quietly sitting here trying to decide what football team I should post about. I won’t post about the Pittsburgh Steelers because they’re just too awesome for this website. But unfortunately, Fall is football time and I’m starting to get the bug in a big way. In recent weeks I watched some good games, some bad games, and some ridiculously bad games. I thought I’d do some research to see if I can find any games that weren’t all that good in past years. Here is what I found.
This is about the game between Georgia Tech and Cumberland college. Sometimes colleges schedule games that are complete mismatches where one of the teams has absolutely no chance of winning. This was the worst loss I could find. It was October 7, 1916, and Cumberland was in big trouble.
Georgia Tech was coached by the great Johnny Heisman, for whom the Heisman Trophy was named. Cumberland, a tiny school, was located at Lebanon, Tennessee, and had a total enrollment of only 178 students. The Cumberland team agreed to play only because Tech promised a cash guarantee for money that would help support future football at their school. But within a few minutes the Cumberland players regretted they had ever agreed.
The slaughter began almost immediately. After one quarter, Georgia Tech had scored nine touchdowns and led 63-0. At the end of the half the score was 126-0. Georgia Tech scored whenever and however they pleased. Once Ev Strupper, who scored six touchdowns in the game, ran the ball to the goal line, then stopped and put the ball down on the one-yard line. He wanted his teammate, Canty Alexander, to carry the ball over the goal line to get credit for the score. After scoring 126 points in the first half, Georgia Tech let up a little and scored only 96 points in the second half.
Wow, what is it that wonderful smell? I smell NFL football in my immediate future and my Steeler blood lust has taken over. I’m already holding high hopes for a truly successful season this year. I’ve hung my Terrible Towel collection in my man-cave and I’m praying for a gut-busting season similar to the years with Terry Bradshaw, Big Ben Rothlisberger, and the old and hopefully new Steel Curtain. With that in mind, how about some historical football trivia to whet your whistle.
As 1944 opened, the United States was deeply involved in World War II. Of the millions of Americans overseas, many thousands were in North Africa, which had been freed from Axis control during 1943. It happened that several units stationed in North Africa had formed a kind of North African Football Conference. The two top teams in this league wanted to play in an “Arab Bowl.” Other officers and men wanted a game between the Army and the Navy soldiers instead. Finally, a compromise was reached. Why not have a football doubleheader? The first game was to be played by the Casablanca Rab Chasers against the Oman Termites, for the North African Football Conference championship.
On January 1, 1944, it was a very hot day in Oran. In a rugged opening game, that Casablanca Rab Chasers defeated the Oran Termites for the title. And then another problem arose. Neither of these teams would lend their equipment to the teams for the Army-Navy game. Shoulder pads and jerseys were so hard to get at that time and were just too valuable to lend to strangers. It was decided that the second game would be played without equipment, it would be a touch football game between the Army and Navy, and blocking was permitted. Also, they announced the halftime entertainment would be camel and burro races, with members of the Women’s Army Corps and Red Cross nurses mounted on the animals. The selection of the beauty queen was declared a tie between three WAC contestants. Since no one had pads, the ground game was mostly end runs and passes. Nobody was really hurt by the blocking, but the heat caused many substitutions. The Navy scored on a blocked punt and a pass. The kick was good and made the score 7-0. Army tied the game before the half ended. The second half was scoreless until the last minute of the game when Army’s Eddie Herbert intercepted a pass and returned it to the Navy twenty-yard line. With time for one more play the kick split the uprights and Army won the game 10-7.
I’m sure that the men who played in that game remember it more fondly than any Super Bowl they’ve seen since. All that fun without an overpaid celebrity showing boobs or moonwalking during the half-time show.
With the playoffs and Superbowl looming in our immediate future and Belichick ending his reign as a Patriot, it seems the right time for a football post. Football has been making numerous mistakes in recent months with questionable NFL officiating and the fiasco with Michigan and coach Jim Harbaugh that was blatantly unfair, biased, and embarrassing. So, let me take you back in time to review a few old time slight-of-hand coaching maneuvers when the game was more fun and not controlled by the almighty dollar and the media’s talking heads.
Johnny Heisman, for whom the Heisman Trophy is named, was one of football’s most inventive coaches. One of his oddest inventions was the old hidden ball trick. One day in 1895, a player asked him if it wasillegal to hide the ball during a play. He knew it wasn’t against the rules, but how could it be done?
Two of Heisman’s players at Auburn, Walt Shafer and “Tick” Tichenor, thought the ball could be hiddenunder a running backs jersey, and they helped devise a play. As the ball was snapped to Tichenor, the rest of the team would drop back and form a circle around him. Then Tichenor would slip the ball under hisjersey, and he would drop to one knee. The team would run to the right and the defenders would follow them. Then Tichenor would get up and run the other way. Auburn tried the trick against Vanderbilt soon after and scored a touchdown with it.
Tighter uniforms and faster play have made the hidden ball trick harder and harder to perform. The bizarre play is hardly ever used today, thank God. It would totally befuddle the indecisive officials of this modern era. It would require an immediate replay, a delay of game, and a group discussion by a panel of league officials to get a final decision. What an absolute waste of time and energy. A quick and effective way to take the fun out of the game.
Here is another sample of old-time footballers attempting to circumvent and bend the rules a little.
Two of the smartest football coaches of all time were Percy Haughton of Harvard and “Pop” Warner, whocoached at Carlisle Institute and later at Stanford. In 1908 Warner’s team from Carlisle was scheduled to play Harvard. The week before the Harvard game, Warner had to use a clever trick to help defeat a strong Syracuse team. Carlisle players had pads sewn to their pants and jerseys. The pads were the same size, shape and color as a football, making it very difficult to tell which player had the football and which one was only pretending. When Carlisle started to practice on Harvard’s field the day before the game, Haughton saw the football-like pads. “That’s not fair,” said Haughton mildly. “It’s not against the rules,” laughed Warner. ”I can put anything I like on my players jerseys.
But Haughton had a few tricks up his sleeve as well. Just before kickoff time, Warner and Haughton met on the field to pick out the game football. Warner reached into the bag of balls Haughton had brought and pulled one out. It was red! Haughton had dyed all of the balls crimson, the color of Harvard’s jerseys. “It’s not against the rules, Haughton smiled, a football doesn’t have to be brown, does it? Warner walked back to the sidelines muttering to himself. Harvard won the game, 17-0.
And amazingly as far as I can tell nobody was disciplined, fined, or suspended. The game was played, someone won, and someone lost. Truth be told it’s still just that simple even in this day and age of computers and the plethora of alleged football media experts.
Growing up I was expected to play as much sports as possible by my ever so athletic father. I completed one year of varsity basketball which I absolutely hated and two years of football which ended with my being unconscious on the sidelines after being drilled by a rather large and muscular defensive player. Baseball was always my main thing, and I began playing at seven years of age and played until I went off to college. Unfortunately for me the college I attended had no baseball team and that really pissed me off as well. I had many coaches throughout the years and was required to sit and listen to endless “pep talks” prior to our games and endless criticisms if and when we lost. There were only one or two coaches who actually took the time to create and deliver a pep talk that accomplished what they wanted. A few others believed in blatant terrorism and threats to help motivate us to a victory. Today’s post is a short story about some real coaches with real methods that showed real results.
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Coaches use all kinds of psychology to lift the spirits of their players. Notre Dame football coach Knute Rockne once refused to sit with his team in the second half of a game. He sat up in the stands, which got the team so fired up they went out onto the field and wonthe game.
One of the most unusual pep talks was delivered by coach Dana X. Bible during the Indiana-Nebraska football game of 1936. Nebraska was losing, 9-0, at halftime. Coach Bible looked scornfully around the dressing room and berated the players unmercifully. “You don’t have the desire to win!” he thundered. “You don’t have the courage to fight back!” Then he said, “The first eleven players who go out that door will start the second half and the rest of you will sit on the bench.” Immediately, the fired-up team jumped to their feet trying to quickly reach the door. But Bible got there first and barred the way. “That’s not good enough,” he snarled. “You’re not ready to win.” A slugging match followed with teammates who really liked each other pushing and shoving, and then scrambling for the door. It became a free-for-all but finally, eleven players managed to squirm through. Bible immediately put those eleven on the field and they beat Indiana 14-9.
I’ve always tried to supply my readers with a varied list of trivia subjects. This one is probably the most disgusting collection of trivia facts I’ve found. If you think you’ve heard everything, think again, because this list will prove you wrong. I apologize in advance to those of you who are easily shocked or disturbed. Read the first item and if you’re still shocked and disturbed, turn off your computer and go watch some reality TV. These are not for the faint of heart.
Michelle Monahan had 1.7 pints of semen pumped out of her stomach in Los Angeles in July 1991.
Maoni Vi of Cape Town has hair measuring 32 inches from the armpits and 28 inches from her vagina.
The most horrible drink to be considered a beverage and safely drunk is Khoona. It is drunk by Afghani tribesmen on their wedding night and consists of a small amount of still-warm very recently attained bull semen. It is believed to be a potent aphrodisiac.
Linda Manning of Los Angeles could, without preparation, completely insert a lubricated American football into her vagina.
In July 1987, Carl Chadwick of Rugby, England, squeezed a zit and projected a detectable amount of yellow pus a distance of 7feet, 1 inch.
This drink is available from a few select bars in New York. It contains tomato juice, a double shot of vodka, a spoonful of French mustard and a dash of lime. It is not mixed but served with a tampon (unused) instead of a cocktail umbrella and is known as a ‘Cunt Pump’.
Horst Schultz achieved 18 ft 9 in with a ‘substantial’ amount of seminal fluid. He also holds the records for the greatest height (12 ft 4in) and the greatest speed of ejaculation, or muzzle velocity, with 42.7mph.
The longest dump ever verified was produced by Jeff Tomlinson, who produced a ‘staggering ‘turd’ over a period of 2 hours 12 minutes which was officially measured at 12 ft 2in. The offender is banned from 134 toilets in his hometown.
Bernard Clemmens of London managed to sustain a fart for an officially recorded time of 2 minutes 42 seconds.
Now that the Superbowl has come and gone we can all start living our normal lives again. Congrats to the Chiefs for pulling out a lucky win which I really didn’t care about anyway. A special thanks to Rhianna who is so hot I think I burned myself adjusting the volume knob. It’s nice to see a superstar showcasing her music instead of her body. It was a pleasant surprise. It’s the first Super Bowl half-time show I’ve ever watched from start to finish. She did herself proud and “Oh Yeah” . . . she’s also worth over a billion dollars. OMFG
Today I’ll be staying with a Sports theme, which will help to wean me off sports until baseball season gets started. I like baseball better than football, but their games are utterly boring to watch. I’ll just check the updated scores on Google and then watch the recaps on Facebook. No nasty comments please, I realize I’m a lazy fan but once again I.D.C. (I don’t care).
Did you know that the sport of dodgeball has been banned by public schools in six U.S. states?
The first recorded game of handball was played in the year 1427. That’s the first written mention of a game involving a ball being hit by hand against a wall.
Did you know that the smallest NBA player ever was Tyrone Bogues. He stood 5 feet, 3 inches tall and played for 10 years with the Charlotte Hornets.
After soccer, volleyball is the world’s second most played sport. An estimated 46 million Americans, and more than 800 million people worldwide, play volleyball at least weekly.
The year 688 B.C. was when boxing first became an Olympic sport. It has been part of the modern Olympics since 1904 with women boxers competing for the first time at the 2012 Olympics in London.
The square boxing platform is called a “ring” because in the ancient Greek and Roman Olympics the combatants met in a circular ring. They’ve been known as “rings” ever since.
Did you know that the world record for longest time aloft of a successfully caught boomerang was 3 minute and 49 seconds.
Early forms of baseball allowed throwing the ball at a runner for an out and pitching underhanded. Balls caught on one bounce were considered outs.
President Theodore Roosevelt is credited with instituting the forward pass rule in football. He demanded a change to the rules in 1905, after 18 players were killed and 159 injured that year. The forward pass was intended to open up the game and minimize the chaotic dog piles associated with lateral passes. The rule was officially adopted in 1906.
The Nerf football was invented by Fred Cox, a kicker for the Minnesota Vikings. He came up with the idea of a soft foam football while playing in the NFL. He still earns royalties on every Nerf football sold.
In the past I’ve had my fun with statements made by baseball players, football players, and basketball players. Just to be fair I thought today would be a good day for some ridiculous statements from an assortment of other sports to include some of their genius sportscasters and their pearls of wisdom.
And he’s got the ice pack on his groin him there, so it’s possibly not the old shoulder injury. -Ray French, rugby sportscaster
Venezuela! Great, that’s the Italian city with the guys in the boats, right? -Murad Muhammad, on being told about a boxing match in South America
And for those of you watching on black-and-white, the pink ball is the one behind the blue. -TV billiards commentator
I don’t want to tell you any half-truths unless they’re completely accurate. -Dennis Rapoport, boxing manager
It’s about 90% strength and 40% technique. -Johnny Walker, world middleweight wrist wrestling champion
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Cycling is a good thing for the youngsters, because it keeps them off the streets. -Daniel Mean, commentator
It’s a catch he would’ve caught 99 times out of 1000. -Henry Blofeld
I was in a no-win situation, so I’m glad that I won rather than lost. -Frank Bruno, boxer
The lead car is absolutely unique, except for the one behind it which is identical. -Murray Walker
There have been injuries and deaths in boxing, but none of them serious. -Alan Minter, former prizefighter
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We have only one person to blame, and that’s each other. -Barry Back, New York Ranger, explaining a championship game brawl
If I wasn’t talking, I wouldn’t know what to say. -Chico Resch, New York Islanders goalie
He called me a rapist and a recluse. I’m not a recluse. -Mike Tyson, boxer
On what? -boxer Chris Eubank, when asked whether he thought about writing his autobiography.
It’s basically the same, just darker. -Alan Kulwicki, Stock-car racer, on racing at night instead of during the afternoon
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