“The gift of fantasy has meant more to me than my
talent for absorbing positive knowledge.”
Albert Einstein 1985
“The gift of fantasy has meant more to me than my
talent for absorbing positive knowledge.”
Albert Einstein 1985
I am a constant collector of weird and unusual facts and information. During my travels if I see something that even looks a little bit interesting, I collected it. I have many books in my archives that I’ve not read as thoroughly as I’d like and information your see here is from one of those books. Hope you enjoy it.
I certainly hope you enjoy reading these obscure facts. It’s almost as much fun as actually collecting them. More are certain to follow because I barely scratched the surface of books I haven’t thoroughly read yet.
WHEN IN DOUBT, READ A BOOK
I thought a few limericks were in order today. The first one was created just for my better-half’s sister. The remainder are just for fun.
There once was a lady from BelAir
Who had long and flowing hair.
When she jumped into bed,
she often hit her head,
but never disturbed a single hair.
❤❤❤
A health-care provider from Bloom
Wanted someone to paint her living room.
The price for a painter was high
But she knew how to be sexy and shy,
and hopefully the painting will be done soon.
❤❤❤
There are my two “G” rated limericks. I normally don’t post them, but these are being done for special people. Now I can get on with a few more interesting ones that have a little more “Oomph”.
At Fred’s flat a bouncy young whore
Started bouncing about on the floor.
“That does it!” said Fred.
“Now you’ve busted the bed!”
And dismounted and showed her the door.
💥💥💥
Daphne’s looks are completely imperial
And her style of lovemaking’s ethereal.
She’s erotically active
And intensely attractive.
What a shame her disease is venereal.
💥💥💥
ENJOY YOUR DAY OF REST
After receiving a few requests, it’s time for more retro bumper stickers. I’ve actually found a number of them that I’m in the process of having reprinted for my own use. I could be convinced to stick them on a few cars whose drivers have aggravated me. I’m also working on one for people who park inappropriately, to stick on their windshields. I’m a baaaad man.
IF YOU’RE RICH, I’M SINGLE
I CAME, I SAW, I SHOPPED
WELCOME TO CALIFORNIA; NOW GO HOME
TRUST ME. I’M A LAWYER
MY OTHER CAR IS A BROOM
GO AHEAD, HIT ME. I’M NOT INSURED
NO NUKES IS GOOD NUKES
JUST SAY NO TO INNUENDO
I CAN’T DRIVE 55
HELP BEAUTIFY AMERICA, GET A HAIR CUT
MAKE POLAND OUR 51ST STATE
THE WEATHER IS HERE. WISH YOU WERE BEAUTIFUL
TV EVANGELISTS DO MORE THAN LAY PEOPLE
HUGS ARE BETTER THAN DRUGS
NEVER PLAY LEAP FROG WITH A UNICORN
And Here’s My Favorite:
I’m sending these rather bawdy limericks along after receiving a few requests for a raunchier selection. I’m nothing if not a people pleaser, so here they are. That’s right, you know who you are!!
A fair-haired young damsel named Grace
Thought it very, very foolish to place
Her hand on your cock
When it turned hard as a rock,
For fear it would explode in her face.
😎😎😎
An innocent boy from Lapland
Was told that fucking was grand.
But at his first trial
He said with a smile,
“I’ve had the same feeling by hand.”
😋😋😋
A nymphomaniacal Italian nurse
With a curse that was worse than perverse
She stuck a rotary drill
Up her twat, for a thrill . . .
And they carted her off in a hearse.
😁😁😁
There once was a young man of Savannah,
Who met his end in a curious manner.
He diddled a hole
In a telephone pole
And electrified his banana.
🤬🤬🤬
Under the spreading chestnut tree
The village smithy he sat,
Amusing himself
By abusing himself
And catching the load in his hat.
As I stated on so many occasions, I am a rabid science-fiction fan. I’ve been reading science fiction material since I was a kid when I found a copy of 20,000 Leagues Under the Sea in a box of trash near a neighbor’s home. While admittedly there’s a lot of crap out there calling itself science-fiction, the classics remain the classics. Two days ago, I started reading the Foundation Series by Isaac Asimov again. As a young man I read it the first time but to understand it at that age was difficult. I’ve read the entire series three times since and every time I find more things I missed. As I began to read it again my thoughts came back to Isaac Asimov himself and the fact that he was not only an incredible writer but also wrote many outrageous and bawdy limericks. I thought I pass a few of those along to you today because he really knew how to craft limericks. Here are a few . . .
A gourmet’s delight is Priscilla
For her breath’s a distinct sarsaparilla.
One breast tastes of thyme
The other of lime
And her vaginal flavor’s vanilla.
💥💥💥
There was a young lady named Lynne
Who said,” I’m prepared to begin
Any sort of activity
That suits my proclivity
Provided it counts as a sin.”
💥💥💥
As a poet, a young man named Buck
Was utterly lacking in luck.
He tried limericks (lecherous)
But found rhyming quite treacherous
And to rhyme “Buck” and “Luck” left him stuck.
💥💥💥
To her lover said pretty young Julie,
“I don’t want to alarm you unduly.
I don’t intend blame
And yet, all the same,
You’ve produced a small pregnancy, Truly!”
I ABSOLUTELY LOVE AZIMOV
I thought a good way to start a Tuesday would be to offer for your entertainment a few retro bumper stickers dating back to the 1980’s. The first one I’ll mention was on an orange Gremlin that I owned. It garnered a lot attention or so my mother told me on the day she borrowed my car. She was so naive, she thought all of those people honking were just being friendly. LOL Here is my first:
HONK IF YOUR HORNY
VINTAGE LOVER – AGED TO PERFECTION
LIFE’S TOO SHORT TO DANCE WITH UGLY MEN
RECYCLERS DO IT MORE THAN ONCE
BEER ISN’T JUST FOR BREAKFAST ANYMORE
I AM WOMAN. I AM INVINCIBLE. I AM TIRED
ANSWER MY PRAYERS. STEAL THIS CAR
JAPANESE CADILLAC
NOBODY’S UGLY AFTER 2 A.M.
GET OFF MY ASS, MORON
That’s enough for today. I need to find a website that prints custom made bumper stickers. Some of these need to be brought back to life here in the 21st century.