Archive for the ‘funny’ Tag
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🌲Christmas Limerick🌲 Leave a comment
There was a farmer named Gary
Whose mule was getting contrary.
Gary painted him red,
A green hat on his head.
Sold him as a huge Christmas fairy.
12/18/2021 Christmas Humor 1 comment
Santa comes down a chimney one Christmas Eve and to his surprise finds a gorgeous brunette waiting for him, wearing the sexiest lingerie imaginable. “Santa,” she purrs, “Can you stay for a while?” Santa says, “Ho, Ho, Ho, I’ve gotta go! Have to deliver toys to children, you know!”
She comes close, starts playing with his beard, whispers in his ear, “Santa, don’t you have a gift you would like to give me?” Santa says, “Ho, Ho, Ho, I’ve gotta go! Have to spread Christmas cheer, you know!”
The brunette takes off her straps, giving Santa a view of her breasts and says, “Santa, are you sure there’s no gift you’d like to leave?” Santa says, “Hey, Hey, Hey, might as well stay. I can’t shimmy up the chimney looking this way!”
7 SHOPPING DAYS LEFT
⚡Stupid Headline⚡ Leave a comment
Cold Wave Link to Temperatures
🚔Bumper Sticker Alert🚔 Leave a comment
If You lived in Your Car, You’d be Home by Now
12/15/2021 ***Limerick Alert*** Leave a comment
A remarkable race are the Persians: They embrace such peculiar diversions; They make love all day In the usual way, And save, till the nights, their perversions.
⚡Stupid Headlines⚡ Leave a comment
Police Begin Campaign to Run Down Jaywalkers
12/14/2021 🌲More Christmas Humor🌲 Leave a comment
One Christmas morning, a cop on horseback is sitting at a traffic light and next to him is a little girl on her brand-new bike. The cop says to the young girl, “Nice bike you got there sweetheart. Did Santa bring that to you?” “Yes, he did,” she replied sweetly.
With a smile on his face, the cop says “Well, next year, tell Santa to put a taillight on that bike,” and he proceeds to hand the girl a $20 ticket. Before the cop rides off, she says “By the way, that’s a nice horse you got there. Did Santa bring that to you?” Playing along the cop says, “Yeah, he sure did.”
“Well, next year, tell Santa the dick goes underneath the horse, not on top.”
10 SHOPPING DAYS LEFT
🌲Christmas Limerick🌲 Leave a comment
Santa’s sleigh and GPS were upgraded this year,
With Alexa in charge of all eight reindeer.
Rudolph rudely told Santa, this change really blows,
As Santa screamed loudly, “Alexa, turn on his freaking nose!”
HO! HO! HO!
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