There was a young stud from Missouri
Who screwed with astonishing fury,
Till taken to court
For his vigorous sport,
And condemned by a poorly hung jury.
Archive for the ‘funny’ Tag
10/15/2021 ***Limerick Alert*** Leave a comment
10/14/2021 ***Limerick Alert*** Leave a comment
A pretty young maiden named Flo
Said “I hate to be had in the snow,
While I’m normally hot,
In this spot I’m not –
So, as soon as you come Bert, lets go!”
10/13/2021 ***Limerick Alert*** Leave a comment
“I cannot be bothered with drawers,”
Insists one of our better-known whores;
“There isn’t much doubt
I do better without
In conducting my everyday chores.”
10/12/2021 ***Limerick Alert*** Leave a comment
My dear, you looked simply divine,
And I know that we’ll get along fine;
For making ends meet
Will be such a treat,
When one end is yours and one mine.
10/11/2021 ***Limerick Alert*** Leave a comment
There was a young man from Siam,
Who said:” I go in with a wham!
But I soon lose my starch, like the mad month of March,
And the lion comes out like a lamb.”
10/09/2021 ***Limerick Alert*** 2 comments
A notorious harlot named Hearst
In the pleasures of men is well-versed;
Reads the sign at the head
Of her well-rumpled bed:
“The customer always comes first”.
10/07/2021 ***Limerick Alert*** 2 comments
A young girl named Alice, in Dallas,
Had never enjoyed a fine phallus;
She was virgo intacto,
Because, ipso facto,
No phallus in Dallas fit Alice.
09/28/2021 ***Limerick Alert*** 2 comments
There was a young lady of Maine,
Who declared she'd a man on the brain.
But you knew from the view
Of her waist as it grew,
It was not on her brain he had lain.
09-18-2016 Journal – Nature Trivia! Leave a comment
I’ve always been a lover of Nature and almost anything related to it. As a photographer I spend as much time as I can out-and-about communing with Mother Nature. I come by it honestly because as a kid growing up I spent more than half of my time in the woods with my friends. We lived on the edge of huge state park directly adjacent to the Allegheny River and knew every inch of the place. My father, a hunter, spent a lot of time explaining about local wildlife and how they lived and traveled in the wild. It was just a very cool place to grow up.
So I thought I’d share a few interesting factoids about Nature with you. Here they are.
- Every year the world’s deserts produce 1.7 billion tons of dust.
- Nature reserves and national park cover 3% of the worlds surface.
- Over 99.9% of the land on earth is not occupied by a person at a given time.
- A tenth of the world’s population relies on the Ganges for water.
- It takes one hundred years for the deep-sea clam to grow to the length of a third of an inch.
- Nearly half of the carbon dioxide emitted by humans since the beginning of the nineteenth century has been absorbed by the oceans.
- An estimated 30% of Earth’s ice-free land is directly or indirectly involved in livestock production.
- Since the formation of the solar system 4.6 billion years ago, the sun has become 25-30% hotter.
- More than 90% of the world’s rubies come from Burma (or whatever they’re calling it these days).
- Lake Baikal in Russia contains about 20% of the world’s fresh water.
That’s it for today. It’s time to turn off this computer and get to work in the yard. Winter’s coming and the garden has to be deconstructed.
ENJOY YOUR DAY OF REST
03-31-2016 Journal – Sake & a Sexy Movie! Leave a comment
I’m still in Maine complaining about the weather which has once again trapped me in the house for a good portion of the day. Now I hear there’s a possibility of another snow storm this weekend, hopefully the last one this season. Mother Nature is hanging on for dear life like she always does. I don’t understand why continue to complain. I guess not being able to control everything irritates me a little.
Some of you have asked in your emails about making Sake. It’s a fairly simple recipe that’s available by email for anyone interested. My batch has been moved from the primary fermenter where it’s been for ten days. The yeast has eaten all of the sugar and the Sake should have approximately 15% alcohol content upon completion. As you can see the wine looks like milk. Yes, that’s how it’s supposed to look. As the fermentation stops and the yeast begins to settle the wine will become crystal clear. These jugs should supply me with fifteen 750ml bottles of Sake or 30-375ml half bottles.
I’m been trying to finish up a second design this week which has become my homage to Amy Winehouse. I’ll post a photo when it’s complete but it might be a little difficult to show all of the details due to it’s size. We’ll see.
I’ve been watching more movies of late as I wait for Spring to really arrive. Last night the better-half and I watched what they (Netflix) are calling a dark comedy. The movie was ‘Bad Roomies’ and I thoroughly enjoyed it. The cast members were virtual unknowns which more times than not makes for a decent movie. This movie was funny and sexy with one of the hottest women I’ve seen in a while. The better-half was disappointed because there were no unicorns and rainbows anywhere in the entire film. I felt bad for her but for me it was a fun hour and a half that had me laughing a lot even after offering up a dead body at the end.
Well I’d love to chat a while longer but demands of the better-half come first. We’re having a small get-together tonight and they are chores to be done. Fortunately for me I’ve stocked up on plenty of wine to help sweeten my mingling skills. From what everyone tells me, they need all the help they can get.
C’MON SPRING – WHAT ARE YOU WAITING FOR?
everyuselessthing.com 