Archive for the ‘funny’ Tag
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🌲Christmas Limerick🌲 Leave a comment
Christmas Eve the night of all nights.
Flying around delivering toys a delight.
It certainly helps when the flask from the elves,
Helps Santa sleep better at night.
Ho! Ho! Ho!
12/20/2021 Christmas Humor Leave a comment
Three garbage men were doing their Christmas rounds and collecting their well-earned Xmas tips and gifts from the grateful householders when they arrived at a pleasant house at the end of a cul-de-sac.
The first garbage collector went up to the door to be met by the lady of the house in very revealing attire, who said, “Oh yes, I know what you want!” as she dragged him upstairs to the bedroom to have her wicked way with him.
A short while later he returned bedraggled to the garbage truck and told his colleague what had happened.
His mate like the idea of some of that so he went to the house where once again the lady appeared, this time in even more revealing attire. “Oh yes, I know what you want!” she said as she dragged him upstairs to the bedroom to have her wicked way with him as well.
Afterwards, he also returned bedraggled to the lorry and told the driver what had happened.
“Hmmm, I’ll have a bit of that!” thought the driver and walked up to the house. The lady opened the door and gave him $5. “Hey!” said the driver, “What about the fun and games you gave my colleagues?” Oh that,” said the woman “You can blame my husband for that.” “What’s he got to do with it?” asked the driver.
The lady answered, “Well, he said to give $5 to the driver and screw the other two.”
4 SHOPPING DAYS LEFT
HO! HO! HO!
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Rehab is for Quitters
🌲Christmas Limerick🌲 Leave a comment
There was a farmer named Gary
Whose mule was getting contrary.
Gary painted him red,
A green hat on his head.
Sold him as a huge Christmas fairy.
12/18/2021 Christmas Humor 1 comment
Santa comes down a chimney one Christmas Eve and to his surprise finds a gorgeous brunette waiting for him, wearing the sexiest lingerie imaginable. “Santa,” she purrs, “Can you stay for a while?” Santa says, “Ho, Ho, Ho, I’ve gotta go! Have to deliver toys to children, you know!”
She comes close, starts playing with his beard, whispers in his ear, “Santa, don’t you have a gift you would like to give me?” Santa says, “Ho, Ho, Ho, I’ve gotta go! Have to spread Christmas cheer, you know!”
The brunette takes off her straps, giving Santa a view of her breasts and says, “Santa, are you sure there’s no gift you’d like to leave?” Santa says, “Hey, Hey, Hey, might as well stay. I can’t shimmy up the chimney looking this way!”
7 SHOPPING DAYS LEFT
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Cold Wave Link to Temperatures
🚔Bumper Sticker Alert🚔 Leave a comment
If You lived in Your Car, You’d be Home by Now
12/15/2021 ***Limerick Alert*** Leave a comment
A remarkable race are the Persians: They embrace such peculiar diversions; They make love all day In the usual way, And save, till the nights, their perversions.
