Archive for the ‘funny’ Tag
One Christmas morning, a cop on horseback is sitting at a traffic light and next to him is a little girl on her brand-new bike. The cop says to the young girl, “Nice bike you got there sweetheart. Did Santa bring that to you?” “Yes, he did,” she replied sweetly.
With a smile on his face, the cop says “Well, next year, tell Santa to put a taillight on that bike,” and he proceeds to hand the girl a $20 ticket. Before the cop rides off, she says “By the way, that’s a nice horse you got there. Did Santa bring that to you?” Playing along the cop says, “Yeah, he sure did.”
“Well, next year, tell Santa the dick goes underneath the horse, not on top.”
10 SHOPPING DAYS LEFT
Santa’s sleigh and GPS were upgraded this year,
With Alexa in charge of all eight reindeer.
Rudolph rudely told Santa, this change really blows,
As Santa screamed loudly, “Alexa, turn on his freaking nose!”
HO! HO! HO!
CNN ‘Reliable Sources’ Panel Blames Americans for Biden’s Sagging Approval Rating
There once was a woman named Bess
For whom holiday cooking meant stress.
Five puddings, ten turkeys
And a thousand beef jerkeys –
Bess did tend to cook to excess!
Something Went Wrong in Jet Crash, Expert Says
With the holidays on the horizon,
I placed 20 calls to Verizon.
They stuck me on hold
Til my dinner got cold.
And I still absolutely despise them.
London Couple Slain; Police Suspect Homicide
When Rudolph got hurt in a fight
He couldn’t lead Santa that night
Too much Christmas cheer
And eggnog, and beer,
His red nose was shiny, all right!
“Typhoon Rips through Cemetery, Hundreds Dead”
House Passes Gas Tax on to Senate
