A few months ago I came upon a small innocent looking book titled 365 Women’s Reflections on Men. I’d made a few purchases of books that day and the owner of the store threw that little book into my bag as a freebie. Since I never refuse a book from anyone, I took it home and it’s been on the shelf for months. While I’m not partial to the negativity brush that feminism paints most of us men with, I think it’s only right if I pass a few tidbits your way and give some of these overt feminists the credit they rightfully deserve.
“No man can call himself liberal, or radical, or even a conservative advocate of fair play, if his work depends in any way on the unpaid or underpaid labor of women at home, or in the office.” Gloria Steinem
“Protectiveness has often muffled the sounds of doors closing against women.” Betty Friedan
“Dear, never forget one little point: It’s my business. You just work here.” Elizabeth Arden (to her husband)
“The only jobs for which no man is qualified are human incubators and wet nurses. Likewise, the only job for which no woman is or can be qualified is sperm donor.” Wilma Scott Heide
“Anger makes dull men witty, but it keeps them poor.” Queen Elizabeth I
“I think women are just as moved by appearance [as men are], but they are willing to accept a situation where the man is less attractive because of the “who earns the bread” situation. Madonna
“American men say “I love you” as part of the conversation.” Liv Ullman
“If you never want to see a man again, say, “I love you, I want to marry you, and I want to have children . . . they will leave skid marks” Rita Rudner
“I never married because there was no need. I have three pets at home which answer the same purpose as a husband. I have a dog which growls every morning, a parrot which swears all afternoon, and a cat that comes home late at night.” Marie Corelli
“I am a marvelous housekeeper. Every time I leave a man, I keep his house.” Zsa Zsa Gabor
Everyone loves music of one sort or another and I’m no different. Unfortunately I think 50% of the music being made today is garbage. I may be considered a music snob but I only like GOOD MUSIC. I like some Heavy Metal, some R&B, some Opera, some Disco, and even some Rap, as long as it’s good. Today’s post will add to your trivia knowledge of the music business. If you’re just a casual music fan you may not be aware of a lot of the facts I’m going to list but that’s what’s so great about music, it’s all about personal preferences.
It is estimated that the “Happy Birthday to You” song earns Warner Music up to $5000 in royalties per day.
The bass player and co-lead singer of the band Kiss was named Chaim Witz.
John Denver’s real name was Henry John Deutschendorf Jr.
Leo Fender, inventor of the Telecaster, Stratocaster, and Precision Bass guitars, could not play the guitar.
Rolling Stone magazine twice listed Jimi Hendrix as the number one greatest guitar player of all time.
QUEEN
Brian May, lead guitarist for the band Queen, also had a PhD in astrophysics.
The song “Le Freak” by the band Chic, was the first song to hit number one on the US Billboard Hot 100 chart three separate times.
Madonna, with 38 singles, followed by Elvis Presley, The Beatles, and Michael Jackson, had the most top 10 singles on the Billboard Hot 100 chart.
Mike Nesmith the famous member of the made-for-television band The Monkees also invented Liquid Paper the popular correction fluid.
The Village People once advertised for members with a personal ad requesting: Wanted: Macho Types, Must Dance and Have a Mustache.
I was perusing through my library this morning when I accidentally tripped and fell back into the 1980’s once again. It always amazes me just how different the sense of humor in the 1980’s compares to now. With that thought in mind I hope you enjoy these little pearls of humor. Cmon, yuck it up a little.
What’s the difference between a gynecologist and a proctologist? Their point of view.
What’s the difference between an oral thermometer and a rectal thermometer? The taste.
Why in the traditional wedding picture is the groom in a chair and the bride is standing? Because he’s too tired to get up, and she’s too sore to sit down!
What’s worse than picking up the soap in an Army shower? Playing leapfrog in the Greek Navy.
How many lesbians does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Four. One to screw it in, and three to discuss how it’s so much more gratifying than with a man!
What does the sign inside of whorehouse say? “No smoking! Use a lubricant!”
What’s a loud wet dream? A snorgasm!
What happens if a young couple mixes up their Vaseline and putty? All their windows fall out!
What’s the easiest way to get a date with a “10”? Ask out two “threes” and a “four!”
What do you get when you cross a donkey with a jar of peanut butter? A piece of ass that sticks to the roof of your mouth!
I love people with a well-developed sense of humor, and I enjoy making people laugh. Since I now have a stand-up comic in the family, I pay even more than usual attention to on-line comics and what’s currently the rage. I have a number of comedians that I’ve been addicted to for years but unfortunately a few have passed on, but their comedy is alive and well and still makes me howl with laughter. I truly miss Sam Kinison and Ralphie May. Current comics Bill Burr, Brad Upton, and of course Sara Tiani are some of my USA favorites. Great Britain offers up Bob Mortimer, Jimmy Carr, Sarah Milliken, and Greg Davies, who are always laugh-out-loud funny. Yes, I love comedy so why wouldn’t I search out some humorous quotes from a few well-known stars.
“Ooooo. Ahhhhh. Get out!” Andrew Dice Clays impression of a one-night stand.
“My wife gives good headache.” Rodney Dangerfield
“Losing my virginity was a career move.” Madonna
“Sex after ninety is like shooting pool with a rope.” George Burns
“The main result of feminism has been the Dutch Treat.” Nora Ephron
“My plastic surgeon told me my face looked like a bouquet of elbows.” Phyllis Diller
*****
ANONYMOUS (Always LOL)
“Churches welcome all denominations but prefer fives and tens.”
“An optimist is someone who thinks the future is uncertain.”
“Truth is the safest lie.”
“When confronted with two evils, a man will always choose the prettier.”
“Is sex better than drugs? That depends on the pusher.”
“Love is blind, and marriage is a real eye-opener.”
I was recently watching an English comedian who had me laughing until I cried. His whole shtick was pointing out how badly people misinterpret lyrics in songs. It was truly ingenious, and I thought today I would pass along a few of those samples to help you to determine how badly you’ve been hearing them. The highlighted quotes are the incorrect lyrics most commonly misheard followed by the performer and the album or song. It’s all just fun and games so enjoy.
“Sleep in heavenly peas.” The Christmas Carol, Silent Night.
“There’s a bathroom on the right.” Creedence Clearwater Revival, Bad Moon Rising
“Excuse me while I kiss this guy.” Jimi Hendrix, Purple Haze
“Dead ants are my friends, they’re blowing in the wind.” Bob Dylan, Blowing in the Wind
“Donuts make my Brown eyes blue.” Crystal Gale, Don’t It Make My Brown Eyes Blue
“Midnight after your wasted.” Maria Muldaur, Midnight at the Oasis
“She’s got a chicken to ride.” The Beatles, Ticket to Ride
“You and me and Leslie.” The Rascals, Groovin’
“Baking carrot biscuits.” Bachman-Turner Overdrive, Taking Care of Business
“Just brush my teeth before you leave me.” Juice Newton, Angel of the Morning
What’s a day without a load of trivial and useless information. If you want to know everything about celebrity’s losing their virginities this is the place to be today. In no particular order.
It amazes me just how fast this year has flown by. It won’t be long here in Maine until I’m whining and complaining about the snow. Thinking about snow and ice is depressing most of the time but I’ll deal with it by writing about things that make me less depressed and bored. Being a formal high school and college graduate, I found the following statements to be funny and sad. Funny because some are ridiculous and sad because they’re all taken from actual high school and college exams. This collection mostly concerns Music Appreciation ad Music History.
A virtuoso is a musician with real high morals.
A harp is a nude piano.
The principal singer of 19th-century opera was called the pre-Madonna.
An interval in music is the distance between one piano to the next.
Agnus Dei was a woman composer famous for her church music.
A tuba is much larger than its name.
When electric currents go through them, guitars start making sounds. So would anybody.
I can’t reach the brakes on this piano.
The most dangerous part about playing cymbals is near the nose.
The correct way to find a key to a piece of music is to use a pitchfork.
Now that I’ve finished my first two cups of coffee and I’m reasonably awake and alert, I’m trying to decide exactly what I’ll be posting about today. I have many categories to choose from, but I’ve come up with a few things that I found very interesting concerning one of my and your favorite topics – ‘Celebrities’.
The amount of unbelievable interest in celebrities has always boggled my mind. So many people in this country seem to think that because they’re celebrities their lives are totally different from ours. They certainly have more money than most of us, but they also lose their “right to privacy”. So, they have some good things we don’t have and a few things we’d probably never want. Here are a few facts that may help make them seem a little more human than we ever thought.
Superstore Madonna is reportedly deathly afraid of cockroaches. She once confessed:” Whenever I saw them, I screamed and ran away.”
Hollywood actress and producer Drew Barrymore, suffers from claustrophobia, a fear of confined spaces.
Hollywood star Johnny Depp suffers from clourophobia, a fear of clowns. He sees darkness and evil in those painted faces.
English actor Orlando Bloom once broke his back falling from a third story roof terrace, but he isn’t afraid of heights – he’s terrified of pigs.
American singer and actor, Justin Timberlake, suffers from galeophobia, ophidiophobia, and arachnophobia – that’s fear of sharks, snakes, and spiders.
Oprah Winfrey fears chewing gum.
Actress Nicole Kidman is afraid of butterflies.
Christina Ricci suffers from a form of botanophobia – she is frightened by indoor plants.
The English actor, the late Roger Moore, was licensed to kill as James Bond but he had a fear of guns.
The legendary British suspense director Alfred Hitchcock was afraid of eggs. He thought they were absolutely disgusting.
And there you have it folks, just a few facts about celebrities that show they’re no different than the rest of us. They suffer from the same stupid phobias and issues just like everyone else. Now as I’m finishing this posting I must throw one more fact out there. It concerns a celebrity I’ve never been particularly fond of, Roseanne Barr. It appears that she is deathly afraid of anything – people or objects – touching her toes. For some reason I find that hilarious, but that’s just me.
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