I made a bulk purchase recently from an on-line book seller and received a random collection that I thought were interesting. In that pile was a book of limericks obviously written by or for children. I’m a big fan of limericks of all types and found these to be just plain fun. These are rated “G” and should make you grin a little.
After another week of computer problems, calls to software companies, and idiot non-English speaking customer service representatives, I finally have an 75% operational computer system. I’ve always loved working with computers but I came close this week to taking a sledge hammer to the whole damn setup. After I did that I would put a truly evil curse on every software company that has turned their customer service over to AI’s. I count my blessings that I can even complete this blog today but I will try. How about some meaningless sports trivia?
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MISSPELLED CUP
The Stanley Cup has two typos engraved on it. “BQSTON BRUINS, TORONTO MAPLE LEAES” and a number of misspelled players names as well.
The Olympics have been hosted by multiple countries that no longer exist: West Germany, Yugoslavia, and the USSR.
There is a minor league baseball team called the Montgomery Biscuits with a logo of a biscuit with bulging eyes and butter for a tongue.
A wok isn’t just a cooking implement but can also be a sled. So says the Wok World Championship group. Teams of players in modified woks race down bobsled tracks.
During the 1903 MLB season, pitcher Ed Doheny won 16 games and was then committed to an asylum for the “criminally Insane” where he remained for the rest of his life.
CAL RIPKEN
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Pete Rose was banned from baseball by MLB Commissioner A. Bartlett Giamatti.
Between 1982 and 1998 (16 years) Cal Ripken Jr. never missed a single Baltimore Orioles game.
Legend has it that Hall of Fame baseball player Wade Boggs once drank 107 beers in one day while traveling with the team.
NFL safety, Ronnie Lott, broke his pinky finger during a game. To avoid leaving the game he directed the team doctor to cut it off.
MLB Manager Alvin Dark once said, “There’ll be a man on the moon before pitcher, Gaylord Perry, ever hits a home run. Perry hit his first home run less than an hour after Neil Armstrong said his famous words.
I’ve been on a roll of late with a collection of weird and unusual trivia facts but I think today I’m taking it one step further. I like weird and strange! I’ve never denied it and I’ll prove once again by offering up more information that isn’t common knowledge. Humans are imaginative and creative and extremely strange at times. Here’s proof of that and I hope you enjoy it. Inventions of the WEIRD.
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The Motorized Ice Cream Cone: ( Patent issued in 1999)
Just push the handy on/off switch on the side of the cone and your ice cream will spin around and around, and all you have to do is stick out your tongue.
Pet Petter: (Patent issued in 1989)
If you don’t have the time to constantly coddle your pet, the Pet Petter does. An electric eye sees your pet and signals the electronic motors to start swinging a petting arm tipped with a humanlike hand.
Toilet Snorkel: (Patent issued in 1982)
In most fires, it’s the smoke that will get you, and a source of fresh air can be a lifesaver. So here it is – a way to snake a snorkel through the zigs and zags of your toilet, so you can brief underwater.
Motorcycle Airbag: (Patent issued in 1989)
An all-over body suit airbag designed to cushion the motorcyclist’s fall in an accident. Air is forcibly ejected from the bike, the suit swells from compressed gas. It covers the arms, legs, and torso, along with a soft landing.
Life Expectancy Watch: (Patent issued in 2002)
This invention counts backwards toward the date of your eventual demise. You program the watch by answering a series of questions about your lifestyle such as exercise, eating habits, and alcohol and tobacco use. Your remaining time is conveniently displayed in years.
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A FAVORITE FUN FACT
Thomas Edison filed 1,093 patents, including those for the light bulb, electric railways, and the movie camera. When he died in 1931, he held 34 patents for the telephone, 141 for batteries, 150 for the telegraph, and 389 patents for electric lights and power.
Todays post will be a little different from my normal trivia posts. Instead of a quiz I decided to just supply you with a few not-commonly-known trivia facts. I found them them to be fascinating and hope you will too.
In 1939, Rudolph the Red-Nosed reindeer was created by an Montgomery Ward advertising employee as part of his job.
Barbie’s (the doll) official real name is Barbara Millicent Roberts.
In 1884, P.T. Barnum once marched a herd of twenty-one elephants over the Brooklyn Bridge on it’s opening day to prove it was structurally sound.
In 1929, Armenian born Sarkis Colombosian created and produced yogurt in Methuen, Massachusetts.
In 1857, Joseph C. Gayetty invented modern day toilet paper.
The original McDonalds drive-in opened by brothers Maurice and Richard McDonald in 1948 made 10 hamburger patties per pound.
On July 28, 1933, the first singing telegram was delivered to Rudy Vallee on the occasion of his birthday.
Henry Ford kept the final breath of Thomas Edison in a bottle. It remains in the Ford Museum in Greenfield Village, Michigan.
The term “twofers” was created in 1892 to sell two-for-a-nickel cigars.
In 1908 in Germany, Melitta Bentz, first invented the coffee filter.
My Favorite
In June 1946, French engineer-designer Louis Reard
invented and introduced the bikini for the first time.
I thought a little sampling of limericks was in order for today. I’m normally cautious when posting limericks but today I’ll throw caution to the wind and just give you a taste of limericks from the 1920’s. It’s always fun to reminisce about the good old days and some of their limericks were outrageous and unpostable. I rate these PG-13 but you decide. I hope you enjoy them.
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There was a young man of Cape Horn Who wished he had never been born. And he wouldn’t have been If his father had seen At the end of the condom was torn.
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There was a young lady named Flo Whose lover had pulled out to slow. So they tried it all night Tilley got it just right Well, practice makes pregnant, you know.
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There was a young lady of Lout Who suddenly grew very stout. Her mother said, “Nellie, There’s more in your belly Then ever went in through your mouth.”
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My wife Myrtle’s womb has a habit Of expanding whenever I stab it. What’s more, my wife Myrtle Is so wondrously fertile, That she’s giving me kids like a rabbit.
It’s been a miserable few days trying to get my systems back into operation. After four days I can finally return to the blog. It will probably take me another few weeks before things return to abnormal. This post will concern quotes from prominent people about politics. It seems to be all the rage nowadays so I decided to get on board with all of the other wackos. Here goes nothing . . .
My Quote of the Day
“Technology is a queer thing. It brings you
great gifts with one hand, and it stabs you
in the back with the other.”
(C. P. Snow)
“Politics is the gentle art of getting votes from the poor and campaign funds from the rich by promising to protect each from the other.” Oscar Ameringer
“No man should be in public office who can’t make more money in private life.” Thomas Dewey
“The cardinal rule of politics – never get caught in bed with a live man or a dead woman.” J.R Ewing (Dallas)
“Mothers all want their sons to grow up to be President but they don’t want them to become politicians in the process.” John F. Kennedy
“One fifth of the people are against everything all the time.” Robert Kennedy
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“Politicians are the same all over. They promise to build a bridge even when there’s no river.” Nikita Krushchev
“Socialism is workable only in heaven, where it isn’t needed, and in hell, where they’ve got it.” Cecil Palmer
With Congress, every time they make a joke it’s a law, and every time they make a law, it’s a joke.” Will Rogers
“My choice early in life was to be either a piano player in a whorehouse or a politician. And to tell the truth, There’s hardly any difference.” Harry Truman
“If God had been a liberal, we wouldn’t have had the Ten Commandments – we’d have the Ten Suggestions.” Malcolm Bradbury
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THANK GOD ONLY ONE OF THEM CAN WIN!
(Bumper sticker from the Kennedy-Nixon campaign in 1960)
In recent months the political world seems to have taken over virtually all discussions. While those discussions are of supreme importance, a constant drumbeat of gloom, doom, and lying takes its toll on a person. Todays post is my attempt to lighten the mood a little. Here are the thoughts and hopes of a much younger generation ( that hasn’t been scarred by an overload of political thinking.
Don’t let the title of this post fool you. This trivia is for those of you who think you know everything there is to know about pro football. I’m certainly no expert and when I tested myself on these question I failed miserably. Lets see how you do with some old-school NFL trivia. The answers as always are listed below.
Which NFL team first drafted Johnny Unitas?
2. What NFL team began life as the Frankford Yellow Jackets?
3. The first playoff game between division leaders came in 1933. Who beat who?
4. What NFL team was once sponsored by the Staley starch company?
5. Which team has lost more NFL playoff games than any other?
6. When was the last time that a team failed to throw a forward pass in a regular-season game?
7. What NFL championship was decided indoors?
8. The first million-dollar gate for an NFL championship game came in 1961. Who beat whom, and where?
9. Who were the two players suspended in 1964 for bidding on their own teams?
10. Who made the winning score in the NFL’s first sudden-death overtime game in 1958?
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Here’s a little bonus brain teaser for you. Complete this famous quote. Playing a tie game is like . . .
Answers
Pittsburgh Steelers, Philadelphia Eagles, Chicago Bears 23 – New York Giants 21, Chicago Bears when the team was located in Decatur, Illinois, New York Giants, Chicago Bears beat the Portsmouth Spartans, 9-0, December 18, 1932, December 3, 1950, Cleveland versus Philadelphia, Green Bay 37, New York Giants zero, at Green Bay, Paul Hornung, Green Bay; Alex Karras, Detroit, Alan Ameche, Baltimore, scored a touchdown against the New York Giants, . . . kissing your sister.
My father always insisted that I learn as much American history as I could. He felt that any real citizen of this country should learn as much about it as possible. I’ve always loved learning American history and todays quiz takes it to another level. This is presidential trivia that most people are unaware of but I’m sure you’ll still find it very interesting. It’s my great pleasure to share it with you. As always, the answers are listed below.
Which American president has the greatest number of cities and towns in the US named after him?
What salary did Ben Franklin advocate for the presidency during debates in 1787?
How short was George Washington’s second inaugural address – the shortest in US history?
Who was the first President to receive a salary of $100,000?
What American President had an electric horse installed in his White House bedroom and rode it almost daily?
Who was the first President elected when women nationwide had the right to vote?
What First Lady was edited out of her movie debut?
President Nixon kept a music box in his Oval Office desk. What song did it play?
Both President John Tyler Jr. and his father John Tyler Sr. served as governor in what state?
Who was the only President born in Illinois, the “Land of Lincoln”?
After Spiro T. Agnew resigned from office in 1973 what entertainer loaned him $230,000 for living expenses and payment of Internal Revenue Service fees?
(Answers)
James Madison with 27, None, 135 words, Harry S. Truman, Calvin Coolidge, Warren G. Harding in 1920, Pat Nixon, Hail to the Chief, Virginia, Ronald Reagan, Frank Sinatra.
For me these last four years have consisted of constant doctor visits, nurses, oncologists, chemotherapy, scans, MRI’s, Cat-Scans, multiple blood tests and surgeries. It’s still causes me to break out in a cold sweat anytime I drive by a hospital or hear an ambulance go by. Even a hospital janitor in a white coat freaks me out a little. My blood pressure soars a minimum of thirty points just by walking into their offices and it takes another 20 minutes for it to lower itself to acceptable limits. With all of that in mind here is my contribution of “one-liners” for all of those outstanding yet truly annoying medical professionals.
“Doctor, I’m sick and tired of finishing crosswords so quickly.” Then try not to get two down.
“Doctor, the whole worlds ganging up on me.” “Hold on a minute. Hey lads, he’s in here!”
“Doctor, I think I’m addicted to “X”. “I’m sorry, I don’t follow you.”
This guy went to his doctor with a piece of lettuce sticking out of his ass. “Ah yes,” said his doctor. “Thats just the tip of the iceberg.”
“Doctor, I can’t stop singing The Green Green Grass of Home.” “That sounds a lot like the Tom Jones Syndrome.” “Is that common doc?” “It’s not unusual.”
“Doctor, I keep thinking I’m a German vodka.” “Well, Schnapps out of it.”
My doctor told me that jogging could add years to my life. He was right. I feel ten years older already.
So, I went to the doctors to ask if he had anything for excessive wind. He gave me a kite.
A guy goes into a psychiatrist’s office wearing only clingy short shorts. The shrink said, “I can clearly see your nuts.”
A man went to see an eye doctor. The receptionist asked him what was wrong. He said, “I keep seeing spots in front of my eyes.” She said, “Have you seen a doctor?” He said, “No, just spots.”
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