Archive for the ‘Bitch & Complain’ Category
‘From the time when we believed the government knew what the hell it was doing.’
Gray, cloudy, cold, wet, Maine, Fall, Daylight Savings Time, and OMFG. The last few days have kinda sucked in so many ways. It’s too crappy to go out to do much of anything because of the weather which left me no choice but to find things to do in and around the house. The best that I could come up was to sit and look out the picture window at 5:30 am waiting for the town workers to come by and paint the new lines on the recently paved road. I actually found myself getting a little excited.
I’m firmly of the opinion that it’s long overdue for the powers-that-be to once and for all eliminate the insanity that is Daylight Savings Time. I’ve never really heard a reasonable explanation as to why it is necessary and for every explanation put forth there are two reasons given explaining why it’s all so much BS.
‘From the time when hoe actually meant hoe.’
I’ve been hearing my whole life those famous words, "spring forward, fall back". It’s time to dispel all of the misinformation that’s been shoveled our way by a government that probably has no clue as to why it’s doing this foolishness at all. Here are a few uninteresting facts about DST that you’ve probably never heard before and might just help convince you it’s time to scrap this stupid old idea once and for all.
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Germany was the first country to implement DST on April 30, 1916 when the clocks were set forward at 11:00 pm (23:00). (When have the Germans ever been right about anything?)
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US inventor and politician Benjamin Franklin first proposed the concept of DST in 1784, but modern Daylight Saving Time first saw the light of day, in 1895 in New Zealand. (Even Ben could be wrong once in a while.)
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Some studies show that DST could lead to fewer road accidents and injuries by supplying more daylight during the hours when more people are on the roads. (Total BS)
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Other studies claim that people’s health might suffer due to DST changes. (I sure agree about this one.)
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It is claimed that DST is also used to reduce the amount of energy needed for artificial lighting during the evening hours. However, many other studies totally disagree and dispute any DST energy savings capabilities. (Again, no agreement on the possible benefits which might just mean they’re really aren’t any.)
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Today clocks are almost always set one hour back or ahead, but throughout history there have been several variations, like half adjustment (30 minutes) or double adjustment (two hours), and adjustments of 20 and 40 minutes have also been used. (More confusing answers with no agreements on any one point.)
‘Everyone seems to agree that Native Americans have the ability to understand things we don’t. This is a perfect example.’
I’ve had it explained to me my entire life that when improvements are introduced, technological or otherwise, we should fight our instincts not to change and just DO IT. There’s absolutely no consensus that DST is accomplishing anything but we still keep doing it. I realize for some of you it may seem to be fun to have your sleep cycles, bodily functions, and general well being screwed with by the government but I do not. By the time I’ve finally adjusted to this stupid hour change it’s time to switch back. Utter and complete government sponsored insanity.
STOP THE MADNESS!!!
This is my week for celebrating. There aren’t many days during the year that I choose to remember fondly but this is one of them. Today is my cat Stormy’s fourteenth birthday. Don’t worry, this posting will not be some crazy-ass cat lovers gushy and sentimental rant. I’m not some over-the-top PETA idiot who thinks animals are more important than people but I do have a soft spot for certain ones.
I’m what most people would consider a cat person. Over the years I’ve had a number of dogs, a snake, a ferret or two, hamsters, and a few cats. For some reason I like having a friend who keeps his or her opinions to themselves, who is that perfect listener we all seem to be looking for, and is somewhat self-sufficient. A friend whose who offers a fair amount of unconditional love and will listen to whatever nonsense I decide to spew. If he doesn’t like it he just walks away without snide remarks or any rolling of the eyes.
Of all of my pets two stand out from the others. They’re both cats and both lived to be more than fourteen years old. I started out as a dog person due to my father’s decision to raise and sell hunting beagles. We always had dogs and puppies running around the yard and I shoveled my fair share of excrement as part of my chores. I really do prefer shoveling it from a litter box instead of scraping it up from different areas of the house.
Once I returned from the Army and started my working life, dogs became more responsibility than I could handle. My jobs required that I move around from apartment to apartment, state to state, and having a dog would have been impossible. Dogs for me are much like small children who never grow up and remain needy as long as they live.
Stormy came into my life for a number of reasons. I found him in a local shelter the week after 9/11. One of my ferrets had just died and her bonded mate was grieving terribly. I brought Stormy home and that cat and ferret eventually became inseparable. Years later when the second ferret passed on Stormy was inconsolable and slept on top of the empty ferret cage for months. We’ve been together every since, thirteen years and counting.
He’s makes friends easily, had his own Twitter page for a while, and even had a children’s book written about him. Now that he’s reached middle age he’s slowed down some but still the best mouser I’ve ever seen. Just last night he was on patrol all night because he saw one of those annoying field mice that decided to take shelter in his house. It’s only a matter of time before that stupid mouse makes a fatal misstep and I’ll find his corpse in the kitchen next to Stormy’s food bowl some morning. That’s where he leaves his trophies so I can see and appreciate them.
He’s also attached himself to my better-half and slowly over time has become her official bed buddy. So a big Happy Birthday to Stormy and hopefully he’ll have many more years with us. I might even spring for a can of Fancy Feast for dinner tonight, after all it is a special occasion.
Another Halloween has come and gone and it ended last night with a visit from the grandson. He’s now officially more than two years old and obsessed with all things Mickey Mouse. He’s a big fan of the Mickey Mouse Club much as I was while growing up but for entirely different reasons. He loves the music, wearing the ears, and dancing around. All I had was Annette Funicello and her two perky friends. It’ll be a another ten years before he begins enjoying that part of the Mickey Mouse Club.
Halloween is an odd holiday anyway and it’s more for the costumes and candy than anything else. Since I’ve pretty much given up on that part of the holiday I figured I was safe for another year. Leave it up to my better-half to come up with something for me do. She walks in the door two nights ago carrying bags of groceries which I later found out were for some party being held at her work place. She’d been anointed as the head cheerleader in that store as well as the official food preparer for all functions. Apparently my cooking services are available because of her and they get them free of charge.
I was sweetly requested to help prepare enough taco filling for ninety to a hundred tacos. That’s ten plus pounds of cow, browned perfectly and seasoned with that magical blend of Mexican spices. I began my preparations but something seemed to be missing and I couldn’t quite figure out what it was. It was this:
I think that cooking Mexican food of any kind without tequila or jalapeno flavored vodka is against the law in a few states or should be. I slammed down two quick shots of vodka, picked up a couple pounds of meat and got to work. Four shots and ten pounds of hamburger later the meat was cooked, seasoned, and packaged for shipment to the store. Not only was I relaxed, I was positively glowing.
The party was a huge success with more than ninety people filling up on tacos and enchiladas. It’s not your typical Maine meal by any means but everyone loved it anyway.
This Halloween I was able to do some cooking (I love that) for a large gathering that I didn’t have to attend (Yeah!), loaded up the grandson up with as much candy as possible which I wasn’t then forced to eat (Yeah again!), and didn’t have to worry about dressing up in silly costumes (Yeah #3!). That for me is a really successful Halloween and I hope to do it the same way next year. By then we’ll have a little brother or sister for the grandson tagging along to make it even more interesting.
I hope your holiday was as exciting as mine. There are times when I miss the costumes and craziness of years past but then good sense prevails, I have a glass of wine, and kick back and relax.
‘Don’t Screw With Us Night-Owls’
I must be losing what’s left of my mind. Sit back and let me explain. Most people are either early morning people or night-owls. For as long as I can remember I’ve been a night-owl. I loved being out and about when everyone else was at home in their warm beds. Even when I was working those nine-to-five jobs I always managed to stay awake until at least midnight and still make it to work on time without any problem. My best years were those as a police officer when I could work as many overnights as I wanted. Those days are sadly gone forever as you shall see.
This morning was a perfect example of my new life. My better-half works some ungodly shifts but more often than not she begins work at 05:30 am. That requires her to bound out of bed in her ridiculously upbeat manner at 4:00 am to begin her endless pre-work preparations. As quiet as she tries to be she still manages to wake me up almost every day. Slowly over the last few years I’ve been quietly forced to adopt her work schedule whether I like it or not.
Fortunately I went to bed early enough last night that being awakened at 4:00 am was annoying but workable. I actually was awakened at 3:45 am when the damn cat decided it was time to be fed. So I made the coffee, fed the cat, visited the facilities and quickly returned to my warm bed. I tried desperately to go back to sleep but nothing doing. I was wide awake with nothing to do and nowhere to go. Thanks a lot lovey!
I turned on the tube and what do I find but a Styx rock concert on AXS TV. I poured a large coffee, pulled the bed covers tightly around me, and settled down for the next two hours and rocked my life away. That group sounded as good today as it did way back when. The better-half left sometime during the concert giving me the required peck on the cheek as she ran for the door. Twenty minutes later she called in a tizzy to tell me she’d forgotten her bag full of paperwork that she needed it and could I bring it to her as soon as possible.
‘Before’
‘After’
Of course, I finished watching the concert, then I got dressed and did fifty minutes on the treadmill. There’s something very wrong with sweating through your clothing at 6:00 am. I finished with the treadmill, hit the shower, and then decided to deliver her work supplies to her. Of course she also demanded in her oh so nice way a Dunkin Donuts coffee which required me to make yet another stop. Isn’t love grand?
So after all of that I arrived at her store with all of the paperwork and her coffee. I made the visit as short as possible and quickly left after reciprocating with an obligatory kiss on her cheek. I stood outside in the parking lot for a second and glanced down at my phone, it was only 8:45 am. That’s just so wrong on so many levels. What the hell was I becoming? She’s turning me into a morning person and I can’t seem to stop her. Is my life over? Woe is me!
I drove directly home, parked the car, and marched my ass back to the bedroom. The next two hours were heaven on earth and that little nap was even better than those famous afternoon power naps everyone’s always raving about. I was sure the rest of the day would be a real yawner but I needed to remember one important thing. I’d be able to get up tomorrow morning and do it all over again.
Someone just shoot me now, please!
I’m not sure how it happened but we’re enjoying one gorgeous Indian Summer day. The sun is shining, the day is crystal clear, and the wind is blowing with a slight chill. My better-half is again on a day off and again obsessing about chores around the house until I want to scream. We’ve been house bound for a week and days off are meant to be DAYS OFF. It took some doing but I strong-armed her into getting out for some picture taking and a ride along coast.
I have to admit it was one of my best ideas ever. The beaches were empty of tourists and the first one we visited was peaceful and quiet and highly enjoyable.
As we traveled south we stopped occasionally to snap a few pics and all the while I was directing us towards the Kennebunkport area. We normally visit that town once or twice each summer but this year we were just too busy. I was planning a nice surprise lunch at Federal Jack’s Restaurant and a leisurely stroll around town to window shop. Federal Jack’s is also the home of the Shipyard Brewing Company, a perennial favorite of my better-half who is responsible for keeping their shares of stock at such a high level.
My side-story for today started six years ago and involved a plate of bad mussels at a nearby restaurant which will remain nameless (Olive Garden), a few drinks, followed by three hours of projectile vomiting where I’m sure I set a new world record for distance. Since that time I’ve been unable to look at, think about or eat mussels. Over the last few months I’ve found myself tempted to try some once again but always chickened out. I was determined today to finally get that food monkey off my back. My order of mussels was delivered, consumed, and thoroughly enjoyed.
‘Before’
“After”
They were so briny and garlicky, I was in hog heaven. I’m so happy to have mussels returned to the top of my favorite food’s list. It’s been a long time coming and a big hooray for me. We did our stroll through town, enjoyed some window shopping, and then returned to the car for the ride home. A slow and easy ride north along the coast road.
All in all it was a wonderful day and I’m glad we took advantage of it. The next trip to this area will probable involve snow, ice, parka’s, tassel hats, and gloves. There’s nothing more fun or colder than walking the beach in January and February.
One last photograph that I stumbled upon as we were passing a very old cemetery. This is the place my late father, the golfer, would have wanted to be buried. It’s not often you can see a golf course and ball washer from your plot.
I’m still waiting . . . . for what you might ask . . . . for dryness. This last week here in Maine was like the monsoon season in India except for the bone chilling icy cold nights. I mentioned in a recent post about all the effing leaves I’ve been dealing with and I’m here to tell you it hasn’t gotten any better. Not only do we have more leaves than before but they’re now soaking wet. There’s nothing harder than trying to rake giant piles of wet leaves because they refuse to cooperate. I’m only bringing it up again because it’s my one and only chore for today and I just don’t want to do it.
‘Dumb Birds’
As I write this post I’m tightly wrapped in my red dragon blanket, still in bed, sipping my coffee, and looking out the window at another gray and damp day. Most of the trees have dropped their leaves except for a few of the more stubborn oaks. They always seem to hang on a little longer than the others before giving it up for the Winter. As usual I can just make out a few squirrels romping through the nearby tree branches enjoying the last days of Fall. I won’t see much of them again until we have a few warmer than normal days later in the Winter. They’ll sneak out, look around, smell the air, and try to find an acorn or two. Then it’ll be back to their nests to await Spring’s arrival. I guess those squirrels have the right idea. I’m trying to do much the same thing if you think about it. If it’s good enough for a bunch of furry little squirrels then it should work for me as well, right?
Most of the birds have headed south and at times I envy them. The woodpeckers, the blue jays, and chickadees are back in large numbers and will be around for the entire winter. We supply them with plenty of food and suet to help them through the worst of it. It always amazes me that any of them ever survive the Winter. This morning I found our backyard filled with black birds and I’m not sure what they were looking for but they working hard at it.
‘Stupid Birds’
For the first time in a week I can actually see blue skies and the sun. I can remember as a kid how much my friends and I loved climbing onto and under the piles of leaves. My Dad found it amusing for as long as it took him to realize we were making more work for him. Maybe today I’ll revert to an earlier version of myself, pile up some leaves, and dive right in. The smell of those wet leaves should take me right back to age seven for a few minutes. Then reality will set back in and I’ll realize I’m sitting in a pile of wet leaves in the middle of my yard and giving the neighbors a reason to question my sanity.
As I stepped out my back door I received another big surprise. From out of nowhere two chickens arrived at my door and are refusing to leave. Now I’ll be forced to spend time today polling my neighbors to see who they belong to. I’ll never again feel guilty about eating chickens . . . they’re too stupid to live.
“Dumb and Stupid Birds’
Anyone out there interested in a few chicken wings?
It’s just another rainy, crappy, and gray October day here in Maine. It’s a great day to stay in the warm house and to catch up on a million things I’ve been putting off. With that in mind the cat and I retired to the man-cave to relax, watch a little TV, and work on the computer. My better-half has the day off and is enjoying herself in the kitchen. She’s baking cookies, talking on the phone with family members, and preparing Halloween treats for mailing to her kids. It looked like a great day was in the making for both of us.
Just as I was finally beginning to relax my better-half popped into my inner sanctum for a visit. She gave me a kiss and an even bigger hug which while appreciated also told me something was up. She intended to take a short shopping trip and was hinting around for a traveling companion. Before I knew it I was changing my clothes and preparing to face the outside world.
The traffic was heavier than anticipated and people were driving badly as always seems to be the case when the rains come. After traveling for a few minutes she decided the trip would be shortened from three stops to just one. I assumed it was because of the rain but it may have been due to all of my swearing and cursing at passing motorists. We arrived at the store, parked, and began walking towards the entrance. Almost immediately the sky opened up and the rains came. I didn’t realize I could still run that fast but I did. As we entered the store I was told in no uncertain terms that this was to be a short power shopping visit for just a few essential items . . . Yeah right! Forty-five minutes and a full shopping cart later we were on our way towards the door. We could see through the front windows that the rain was coming down even harder than before. I was convinced to bring the car around to the front door where I could pick up her majesty. I reached the car, drove it to the entrance of the store, and we loaded the groceries into the trunk. We were wet and uncomfortable and I could’t wait to get home.
It was more of the same during the drive home. I wish I had a dollar for every horn I heard honking and every finger I saw thrown in anger. It’s amazing to me how people from Maine can drive normally in two feet of snow and a blizzard but can’t deal with a moderate amount of rainfall. I found myself wishing for snow for just a moment but then good sense prevailed.
We arrived home and quickly pulled into the garage to get out of the rain. Within seconds of unloading the first bag of groceries I looked outside and the rain had stopped completely. It never fails . . .
One of the reason I love living in southern Maine is the peace and quiet. There are days when the quiet is absolute except for a few cars occasionally whizzing by. This road we live on has been a nightmare for years and in the winter accidents occur in and around our home quite often. It has quite the collection of potholes of every size and shape along with frost heaves to make things really interesting. For those of you that don’t know, a frost heave is a large mound that erupts beneath the road when the ground begins to freeze in the Fall. Our normal flat potholed road turns into a an amusement park ride. Living here requires that we develop and maintain a good relationship with a competent mechanic. I average a front-end wheel alignment every two years and that doesn’t include the costs for damage to wheel rims and tires. Once Spring arrives the road immediately returns to normal.
I was awakened this morning when my bed and house began vibrating and shaking. At first I thought we were having one of our occasional earthquakes but a glance out the front window explained everything. There was a gigantic machine rolling down the road, spitting smoke in every direction, chewing up asphalt and spitting out a fine black powder.
Apparently the town fathers finally decided to pave our road and of course never notified anyone who lives here. Just one big noisy machine after another beginning a 7 am and lasting the entire day. For most of the day I was forced to stay at home because my driveway was blocked at first by a dump truck and then later by a huge ten ton roller. I was thrilled to see my tax dollars working for me for the first time in a long while. Since Maine is known for it’s over the top approach to spending taxes on welfare for illegals, I never thought it would ever happen so I was stunned. I had finally won the tax lottery.
Here are a series of photos of the big project from start to finish.
Here’s my reward for you for being made to look at my boring pictures. It’s a limerick I wrote with all of the liberals politicians in mind who are determined to oust Republican governor LePage. It would be oh so sweet if LePage was reelected. It would make them crazy and hopefully send them right over the edge once again.
There once were politicians from Maine
Who in truth were a liberal pain.
They smile and they lie
But as hard as they try,
They’re too dumb to get out of the rain.
I was having a pretty good week all things considered. I survived a birthday party with a gang of 2-6 year olds, got out of attending a wedding I didn’t want to attend, and built a new book shelf for my man-cave. I had a solid eight hours of sleep and was feeling at peace with the world. As everyone knows life always manages to balance the scales whether you like it or not. If you have a lot of good going on you just know at some point not so good will soon follow. Thank you so much Planned Parenthood of Northern New England.
You could say it was a feeling like "a cold shower" or having "someone peeing in your corn flakes" but it was a letter of BS and propaganda from those poor abused folks responsible for all of the initiatives to force religious employers to foot the bill for female employee contraceptives.
Here’s the first thing that caught my eye.
"It is unbelievable. Anti-choice extremists are taking away our rights – and the United States Supreme Court is helping them do it."
I guess anyone who disagrees with them on a matter of "Choice" of any kind must be an extremist. The first thing you need to know, I am not religious in any way shape or form and I never defend religion and never will. I will defend their right to disagree with the idiots at Planned Parenthood. I find it ridiculous and offensive to have a heavily taxpayer funded organization whining about their problems. Any business owner has the right (or used to) to run their company the way they saw fit. Any good businessman will tell you the last thing they need is government funded interference. The US government is a joke when it comes to running anything. Unfortunately during one of their many bouts of the "politically correct flu" they decided to fund some liberal organizations like Planned Parenthood.
Their next point was this:
"The US Supreme Court decisions are alarming and disheartening. Here at Planned Parenthood of Northern New England, we believe women should get to choose which birth control method they want to use. Not her employer."
I actually found myself agreeing with part of that statement. Women should have the right to chose their method of contraception. I just don’t feel that the taxpayers or their employers should be footing the bill. If you can’t afford contraception try abstaining for a while or let your boyfriend, husband or partner stop at a CVS and pick up some condoms. There are millions of Americans that feel exactly the same way I do about it.
Here’s a scan of the actual letter. I blocked out my name and address because those liberals are well known for their vicious hate mail campaigns. I truly dislike organizations that send me junk mail that my tax dollars are paying for.
So in closing here’s my message to Planned Parenthood. Take me off your mailing list until such time your no longer leeching from the taxpayers ($300,000,000.00 at last count). Then you might have a little credibility in your arguments. Oh yeah, stop misstating the facts and resorting to name calling. You’re starting to sound a little like those desperate folks over at PETA.
It’s another cold and gray October day here in Maine. It was a frigid night and this morning everything was covered with a heavy frost. Since my better-half refuses to turn on the heat until later in the month I found it necessary last night to jack up my electric blanket to level six. It keeps the bed nice and toasty but I also seem to wake up every few hours when I feel my face beginning to freeze. I knew it was really cold in the house when the cat crawled into bed with me at 4 am and refused to leave. Now that I’m fully awake and have had my first cup of coffee it’s time to mention a variety of items which could possibly bore you to tears.
Yesterday we attended the second birthday party for the better-half’s grandson. It was a festive occasion for the family and friends who attended and we were surrounded by a gaggle of children who really were enjoying themselves. There were games for the kids, gift bags, and a pumpkin decorating session that was hilarious. It was a great day for all of the kids and even for some of the adults. I took over a hundred pictures that will need to be reviewed later today and that should keep me busy for a while. I’ll only post this one which shows the aftermath. The bigger the mess the better the party, right?
After saying our goodbyes to the birthday boy we left the party and decided to take a short drive through the woods to find some decent fall foliage photos. The entire morning had been cloudy and gray but as we pulled out of the driveway the sun came shining through the clouds. I’ll always wonder whether it would have gotten cloudy and gray once again if we’d have returned to the party. I hate coincidents like that. Here are a few of the photo’s from our ride.
This is a rare picture of the seldom seen “Red Breasted Maine Moron”. That’s anyone who water skis in Maine in October.
Now that Fall has officially arrived most of our outdoor activities will be curtailed through the Winter months. I’ve been posting journal entries for some months now documenting our Summer activities and it’s been a lot of fun. Since I’m not a person who enjoys frolicking in the snow my future journal entries may be limited. No snowmobiling, no ice skating, no skiing, no bobsledding, no hunting, and no ice fishing pictures. I think it’s time to return this blog to discussions of politics and politicians, trivia of all kinds, and the continuing criticisms of all things Hollywood. The celebrities have gotten a Summer pass from me and I feel the need to lash out at them once again.
I’m also in the process of setting up a Twitter page for this blog and will begin publicizing my postings there as well. I may even consider returning to Facebook sometime soon. I feel completely reenergized after a great Summer and I’m ready for the mid-year elections and all that that entails.
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