Archive for the ‘Bitch & Complain’ Category
It’s taken me some time to read through all of the changes I’ve made on the review of my list of “100 Things I Hate” compiled five years ago. It became obvious early on that my opinions on some things had drastically changed. I initially made the list as a tongue-in-cheek exercise but as it progressed I became more and more serious about the items I was adding. The following 64 items are those that survived the review and I still hate them all. If I indicated even a fifty percent improvement on any item it was removed from this list because if you truly hate something it should be all or nothing. Here’s what’s left.
#1 Rosie O’Donnell
#2 Dirty Fingernails
#3 Criminals
#4 Funerals
#5 Backward Baseball Caps
#6 Large Groups of People
#7 Old Gum Under Tables
#8 Penis Tattooing
#9 Dumb Cashiers
#10 Stinky Feet
#11 Decomposition
#12 Bugs Crawling On Me
#13 Terrorists
#14 Overweight Pets
#15 Know-It-All’s
#16 Hospitals
#17 Oprah Winfrey
#18 Will Ferrell
#19 The Smell of Urine
#20 Corpse’s
#21 Political Correctness
#22 Drug Users
#23 Clowns
#24 Corns
#25 Organic Food
#26 Liars
#27 Ear Hair
#28 Organic Food
#29 Dirty Toilets
#30 Stinky Cheese
#31 Opossums
#32 Extra Toes
#33 Nose Hair
#34 Vegans
#35 Fake Boobs
#36 Ass Kissers aka Brown-Noser’s
#37 Autopsy’s
#38 Stinky Breath
#39 Illegal Aliens
#40 Democrats
#41 Wet Farts
#42 Feet Calluses
#43 Performing Artists
#44 Ugly or Fugly Feet
#45 Sean Penn
#46 Road Kill
#47 Belly Button Lint
#48 Arrogant People
#49 Noisy Radios
#50 The French
#51 Gerbils
#52 Road Tolls
#53 Hairy Nipples
#54 Yellow Nail Polish
#55 Crowded Elevators
#56 Baby Pageants
#57 Pot Holes
#58 Screaming Brats
#59 Texting While Driving
#60 Saggy Pants
#61 Penis Caught In Zipper
#62 Tailgater’s
#63 Stinky Arm Pits
#64 Ex-Wives
The list has been read and reread a a dozen times and is is my final version for 2014. It’s nice to see how much I’ve changed in just five years. A 35% reduction in hated items seems huge to me and I plan on another review at this time next year. I’m sure to make reductions then and probably will have a number of new items to add which will have aggravated me in 2015. With that thought in mind I’ll add this following item to the list and truthfully it should have been included on the last one as well:
#65 Anything in Moderation
It just had to be said.
I’m glad to announce this is the final installment of my list of the 100 Things I Once Hated. It’s been an interesting process for me but I doubt if it’s been all that interesting for you. I’ll get into that thought in more detail in my next posting where I evaluate the results in more detail. Lets get going . . .
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#86 Crowded Elevators – If you’re the least bit claustrophobic you’ll understand this item. Without extensive therapy this could never change and I’m positive it will never change because there will be no extensive therapy. No improvement.
#87 Gossips – Everyone gossips at some point in their life and I have no problem with the little unimportant bits of nonsense people chat about. It’s the malicious gossiping that’s burned me a few times in the past. 50% improvement.
#88 Baby Pageants – How these things are permitted by law puzzles me. Under any other circumstances if you dress up a little girl to look like an adult and parade her around in front of a group of other adults you could get some jail. No improvement at all.
#89 Pot Holes – These damn things have cost me hundreds of dollars over the years in repairs to many of my vehicles. I’m still waiting for any offer from ten or so municipalities to repay me for the damage caused by their unrepaired roads. It’s a good thing I’m not holding my breath on that one. No improvement.
#90 Screaming Brats – Being a former screaming brat myself I have great insight into this issue. Whether in a store, a bus, a street corner, or anywhere else, I can’t stand them. No improvement.
#91 Texting While Driving – You might think I’d be a little lenient towards people who text while driving since the woman who smashed into my car while I was sitting at a stop sign was responsible for me buying my first digital camera. It was the money left over after all the damages to my vehicle were fixed. No improvement.
#92 Saggy Pants – This item is right up there with backward baseball caps and underwear sticking out over your jeans. Idiotic, moronic, and ridiculous. No improvement.
#93 Warts – I’ve had one or two of these over the years and they are an annoyance more than anything. Genital warts are another story completely but luckily I haven’t had them and I hope I never do. 50% improvement.
#94 Granny Panties – Just thinking about these makes me want to throw up in my mouth a little. They should be outlawed by the courts with mandatory caning on a bare ass as punishment. I’m not hating them any longer but OMFG who in their right mind likes them? 50% improvement.
#95 Penis Caught In Zipper – Every guy that just read this sentence cringed a little. This is some of the worst pain a man can suffer not even taking into account the accompanying embarrassment. No improvement.
#96 Multiple Chins – And I’m not referring to those famous Chinese Chins mentioned in some jokes. Thank God for plastic surgery but unfortunately not everyone can afford it. I guess it’s not really hate I feel but sympathy. 100% improvement.
#97 Tailgater’s – This applies not to football game tailgaters but to drivers. When I was a cop I loved issuing citations for this violation and that’s when I learned what job satisfaction was really all about. No improvement.
#98 Stinky Arm Pits – This item should be grouped with B.O. and bad breath. I hate them all individually and I especially hate those people who sport all three. No improvement.
#99 Nosy People – The fact that most nosy people are almost always the first ones to gossip makes it even worse. I really don’t hate nosy people who gossip because it’s great fun to feed them made-up facts or untrue information and then to sit back and watch the fun. 50% improvement.
#100 Ex-Wives – No further explanations should be needed here. Ask any divorced person about their exes and you’ll get the same answer. No improvement.
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There you have it. As you can see there have been many changes in how I feel about things in just the last five years. Check back in two days to see my 2014 newly revised list of “Things I Really Did Hate” in my next posting.
By the way – FOUR SHOPPING DAYS LEFT
Well I’m in the home stretch of this process and my list of 100 has been whittled down to just 30. Today will complete items 71-85 leaving only the last 15 to deal with on Thursday. Let’s get right into it.
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#71 Sean Penn – There’s no way in hell this item will ever change. I can’t find any redeeming value in his work or his personality. Unfortunately I can only hate up to 100% but with this guy I wish I could go higher. No improvement whatsoever.
#72 Jeans w/Holes – This is a look that even really beautiful women can’t pull off. I find it unsexy when someone is wearing clothes that just a few years ago I would have thrown away. I’m no longer going to hate these items of clothing but will admit to 100% feeling of Stupidity for the people who insist on wearing them. I get the same feeling when I see grown men wearing backward baseball caps. 100% improvement.
#73 Road Kill – Truly a disgusting display at any time but even worse in hot weather. Pair up disgusting with smelly and you’ve really got a winner. No improvement.
#74 Mohawks – There are variations of this item. The large. crazy and oddly colored ones I hate. The smaller and more contemporary Mohawks are subtle and don’t bother me near as much. 50% improvement.
#75 Belly Button Lint – If you stick your tongue into your lover’s belly button just once and come up with a lint ball stuck to it you can understand where I’m coming from. It’s like finding a short and curly hair on your pizza. Unacceptable and no improvement.
#76 Stinky Garbage – I’ll claim a slight change of heart on this one. Stinky garbage is something that annoys me 100%. I think hate was too strong of a word. 100% improvement.
#77 Arrogant People – There are two types of arrogant people. There are those who are really good at what they do and they throw it in your face. Then there are those who are totally incompetent and use the arrogance as a defense mechanism. Either way they both suck. No improvement.
#78 Inverted Nipples – Nipples are meant to be appreciated and played with. I find it extremely difficult to do that when they’re inverted. I really don’t hate any nipples so I’ll claim 100% improvement.
#79 Noisy Radios – Whether it’s in a restaurant, in a passing vehicle, or anywhere else it’s the most annoying thing ever. There’s a crime called "Disturbing the Peace" and I hate when someone does that to me by accident or intentionally. No improvement.
#80 The French – A liberal society with no sense of gratitude towards a country that saved their collective asses on two occasions. If they get jammed up again I hope we have the good sense to let them work things out on their own. No surrender-monkey improvement.
#81 Gerbils – Disgusting and creepy animals that serve no useful purpose that I can find. They are worth buying just so they can be disposed of. No improvement.
#82 Wallflowers – Another item where hate was too strong a word. I just feel bad for anyone who is stuck in this kind of rut. Most times they’ll grow out of it but some never do. 100% improvement.
#83 Road Tolls – Just another government intrusion into my wallet. I’ve always hated income taxes and even more so these sneaky hidden ones. No improvement now or ever.
#84 Hairy Nipples – This primarily concerns just the females out there. These days many of them expect their men to be hairless. I think it’s only fair that they pay closer attention to our wishes about them. I just hate women with hairy nipples and I find it really strange when they’re confronted with it and claim ignorance of the problem. You’d think they might look down every so often and notice. No improvement.
#85 Yellow Nail Polish – This is just something that bugs me. I’m sure there are a lot of younger women who go this route and love the color. I do not. It looks like you have smoker’s fingers and that for me is a complete turnoff. Just give me neatly manicured nails with a dark blood red color. 50% improvement.
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Fifteen more items to go and I can put this little project to bed. I’ll post the final installment on Thursday and then a final evaluation on Monday. Then it will be on to other things and completion of my 2015 New Year’s resolutions.
It’s time for installment number five of the “Things I Once Hated” in the hopes that it’ll show I’m no longer the hater I once was. I keep telling people I’m mellowing with age but after listening to some of their comments I’m beginning to think they still aren’t believing me. I am getting mellower dammit! What’s wrong with all these people? Let’s just get started on today’s items 56-70 before I get irritated even further.
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#56 Vegans – These smelly people are no better than those religious types who insist on showing up at my house to irritate me. Trying to convince me not to eat meat is like asking the pope not to pray so much. It looks good on paper but it will never work. No improvement here you stupid veggie eating, Kool-aid drinking, dipsticks.
#57 Greasy Sink Water – Thank god for Dawn dish detergent. It’s helped me to eliminate this problem from my life which is reflected by my 50% reduction in hatred.
#58 Fake Boobs – As I’ve previously stated many times I love boobs. I’ll further qualify that statement by saying I still hate fake boobs. Some of the fakes are nice to look at as a general rule many look a little strange. Unless the women are willing to spring for the added expense of a nipple relocation they can get downright bizarre. No improvement.
#59 Ass Kissers aka Brown-Noser’s – Over the years I’ve worked with many of these folks and while it can be fun to watch them go through their antics I still can’t respect them or like them. No improvement.
#60 Waiting in Lines – This has always made me a little crazy. With the development of e-readers and IPads it no longer bothers me quite so much. 50% improvement.
#61 Autopsy’s – This can never change. I’ve been present at quite a few and it never gets any easier. No improvement.
#62 Bee Stings – This one has faded into my past and something I’ve finally learned to deal with. If they sting me now I just get the best bee killing insecticide on the market and kill every last one of the little bastards. 100% improvement.
# 63 Stinky Breath – To me this is just one step below Body Odor. What’s amazing to me is that 77.54% of people who have BO also have terrible breath. Is there some sort of connection there? Who knows? No improvement.
#64 Illegal Aliens – Seeing as how my better-half’s son currently living in LA was rear ended by an unlicensed and uninsured illegal Mexican driver this week. No freaking improvement. Suck it Mr. President.
#65 Adam Sandler – I’ve totally changed my mind on Mr. Sandler. I’ve finally seen a few things of his that I really enjoyed. 100% improvement.
#66 Democrats – I’ll just refer you back to my comment on Liberals at item #36. No improvement.
#67 Wet Farts – I don’t like having them and I don’t like sitting near someone else who’s having them. PU! No improvement.
#68 Feet Calluses – I’ll again refer you back to item #40, Corns. There’s nothing as romantic as snuggling on the couch with your spouse and be forced to watch her sand her calluses or trim her toe nails. Ahhhhh, true love. No improvement.
#69 Performing Artists - These might be the most annoying of the street people with Mimes leading the pack. For me they’re even worse than the homeless. At least the homeless will go away after you give them a buck. These fools stick around and refuse to leave. No improvement.
#70 Ugly or Fugly Feet – This item is not about Corns or Calluses. It’s about just plain ugly feet. Why is it that people with the ugliest feet also insist on wearing sandals to restaurants. I’ve got a thing for feet and that’s the worst experience I could have. “Down With Ugly Feet”, now there’s your bumper sticker. No improvement.
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That leaves only thirty more items before I complete the review of my list of 100. I think I’m making good progress so far and I plan on posting the newly revised list once this review has been completed.
Mr. Mellow signing off.
I know you’ve all been waiting for my next installment of the “Things I Once Hated”. I’m only going through this endless process because I need to show my better-half just how much I’ve mellowed over the years and that living with her has had a serious calming effect on me (sarcasm off). Let’s get this going for numbers 41-55.
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#41 Organic Food – This is one of the biggest scams going. Put organic on the label of anything and you can immediately increase the price by twenty-five percent. In my opinion anything that is grown is organic. Wash off any fertilizer and insecticide and you have clean and organic food. I hate those liars who extort money from all of us under suspicious circumstances or labeling. No improvement here.
#42 Liars – refer back to #41. On a daily basis we have dozens of people who lie to us. I’ve always hated being told things that are less than true and I still do. No improvement here either.
#43 Ear Hair – I was introduced to this issue when my better-half was caught trying to trim the hair in my ears while I was napping. It’s one of her pet peeves and she’s gently forced me into adding it to my original list of one hundred. I’m still being forced to hate it or there’d be hell to pay. No improvement.
#44 Doctors – I’ve had to rethink this item because I finally met a doctor that wasn’t playing God and actually treated me like a thinking human being. I’ll concede to a 50% improvement.
#45 Large Aureoles – As I’ve stated many times before I love boobs. But large aureoles bother me for some unknown reason. I’m forced into not hating them because they’re normally attached to things I love. It’s a conundrum I tell you. No more hate for them results in a 100% improvement.
#46 Overweight Babies – Just writing about this problem pisses me off. Overfeeding a toddler or young kid is about the worst start you can give them in life. I hate the thought of it almost as much as the people responsible. No improvement.
#47 Dirty Toilets – I suppose you think I’m only talking about those disgusting restrooms found in stores and gas stations. I am but I’m also including anyone else who refuses to clean their own bathrooms. I’ve been in a few that still give me nightmares. No improvement.
#48 Stinky Cheese – I just don’t see the point of making or eating some types of stinky cheese. My grandfather was a big fan of Limburger cheese and I suspect it was only because it kept us kids away from him during our visits. No improvement and no thank you.
#49 Opossums – One of the most disgusting animals on the planet. I understand they’re great to have around to clean up road kill but they’re gross, ugly, and disgusting. No possible improvement.
#50 Roadside Death Shrines – I’m reconsidering this item out of sympathy to those people who insist on building them. I think the whole process is a waste of time and effort but I guess if it makes them feel better for all of fifteen minutes. What the hell, since I’m now a much more loving and tolerant person I can let it go (sarcasm off). 100% improvement.
#51 Extra Toes – Too creepy to even discuss and that goes for webs between the toes as well. Go join a carnival but stay away from me. No improvement.
#52 Nose Hair – Again something being pushed on me by my better-half. She’s obsessed with hating this item therefore so must I. No improvement.
#53 Jehovah Witnesses – I can’t begin to tell you how much fun I’ve had over the years messing with these people. I can’t say I actually hate them personally but I do resent anyone who tries to force their belief system on me. These folks are nothing if not persistent making them a huge target for my sometime sick sense of humor. 100% improvement.
#54 Salesmen – I’ll modify this category somewhat. I hate “high pressure” sales people. So I’ll claim a 50% improvement on this one as long as they don’t get in my face.
#55 Hot Tuna Casserole – I’ve done a total 180 on this one. I finally found someone with a recipe that I actually liked and looked forward to eating. No more hating of hot tuna dishes. 100% improvement.
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That should do it for today. Fifty-five items now completed with only forty-five more to go. Just remember all of these items are in no particular order of importance.
The last few days have been fugly and for those of you that don’t know what that means I suggest you call someone. Sleet, freezing rain, ice, snow, regular rain, high winds, and temperatures moving up and down the scale from 9 degrees to 40 degrees. A little bit of everything you could possibly imagine and none of it you would ever ask for.
The ice storm early in the week was responsible not only for icy roads but for falling tree branches covered with ice and snow. We had two small trees down in the back yard but nothing too terrible. Other folks weren’t as lucky with collapsed roofs, damaged vehicles, and damaged shrubbery.
We took a ride around the area earlier today and these photos pretty much explain how Maine feels in the winter. This first shot is of what a prosperous farm looks like in Winter.
A very solemn sight to be sure. I prefer the corn to be green and growing and the machinery in operation. The next photos were taken along the Saco river with the first looking north with the sun at my back and the second facing south with the sun in my eyes.
Regardless of the direction I’m looking that water is frigid, the cold wind was freezing my face, and I ran for my car when I was finished. The parking area near the river was covered in ice and it was purely luck I didn’t fall on my ass like I usually do. Through a bare spot in the ice I saw a reminder of Summer and of all the teenage kids who seem to congregate here. I don’t know who Jake is but an artist he aint!
I look forward to seeing more graffiti in about five months. I sure hope it’s better than this stuff.
I’m feeling particularly lazy today thanks in part to NASA and the pilot of a small boat floating off shore near Cape Canaveral. Both of them were responsible for totally screwing up my sleep schedule for last night and again this morning and unfortunately tomorrow as well.
I’m a bit of a science and space nerd and I was excited enough about the launch of Orion that I set my alarm for 4:15 am, stumbled out of bed to await the launch at 7:04 am. After two and a half hours of the prelaunch show I was ready to see that rocket fly. Too bad the dumb SOB in that boat who wandered into the hazard zone near the launch site caused the first of what ended up being four delays.
At 9:00 am I was still sitting like a zombie on the couch with my fourth cup of coffee, all wound up with no place to go. They missed the launch window and now I’ve got to do all of this again tomorrow morning. Since I’m not altogether alert yet, I thought I’d just post the third installment of "Things I Once Hated". These fifteen items will complete the first forty of my list of one hundred. Here we go.
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#26 Hospitals – I don’t ever see my feelings for hospitals changing. They creep me out just as much now as they did when I was a kid. No improvement and there never will be.
#27 Mimes – I don’t know many people who like mimes except for a few artistic types I attended school with. A major annoyance if you’re trying to sit on a bench and relax for a few minutes but no actual hatred. 100% improvement.
#28 Oprah Winfrey – What more needs to be said. She finally moved on down the road just like Phil Donahue. Goodbye, good luck, and get out! No improvement for Harpo.
#29 Finger Nail Decals – I love well cared for nails on a woman but in my humble opinion decals are tacky. I can’t say I hate people that wear them but the first impression they leave with me isn’t good. No hatred but a 100% of yuck. 100% improvement on the hate scale. I can almost feel myself evolving with all these fantastic improvements.
#30 Will Ferrell – To me he is the unfunniest comic I’ve ever seen or heard of. No improvement.
#31 Fake Finger Nails – I really don’t hate them because my better-half has occasionally had them installed. Even if I did I can’t ever say it out loud. 100% improvement.
#32 The Smell of Urine – Yours, mine, or anyone else’s. No improvement.
#33 Corpse’s – Being a former soldier and police officer I’ve seen my fair share of bodies. I always hated being put into a position to personally deal with the dead. It’s very creepy and I hated it then and still do. No improvement.
#34 Women Missing Teeth – I guess I really don’t hate them but they do give me a huge case of the willies when they smile at me. 100% improvement.
#35 Political Correctness – No explanation needed for this. My biggest all time hate. No improvement.
#36 Liberals – This refers to those true dyed-in-the-wool, Kool-Aid drinking, Obama loving, and Clinton worshiping Liberals. Many other Liberals are moderate and I don’t hate them, they just annoy me. 50% improvement.
#37 Drug Users – Just hate’em ! ! ! No improvement.
#38 Boogers – As I’ve matured I’ve come to understand that I don’t hate all boogers. I really can’t hate my own because I’ve spent years learning how to properly handle them. I do hate the boogers of others because they show up in the damnedest places. Now you not only find old gum under table edges but also the occasional moist booger. That’s really rude so please flick it elsewhere like everyone else does. 50% improvement.
#39 Clowns – I once wore a clown costume for Halloween and mistakenly looked into a mirror as I walked by. It freaked me the hell out and I’ve hated them ever since. No improvement.
#40 Corns – Nothing’s worse that being in a darkened room getting romantic with a gorgeous women and as you run your hand slowly down her smoothly shaved legs to her feet. There you run into some crusty and nasty corns. Hate is way too nice a word for those things. Not only do they make the woman limp but me as well. No improvement.
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That takes care of items 1-40. The rest will be posted before years end and then I can get started on my New Year’s resolutions.
P.S. It’s now the next day and I just finished watching another four hours of the Orion flight. Kudos to NASA and all of it’s partners. The takeoff, flight, and landing went without a hitch and they should be congratulated on such a huge accomplishment.
Now I need a nap!
Finally Black November, Black Friday Week, Black Friday, and Cyber Monday are over. Cyber Week will continue for three more days but OMFG. This has been the worst year I’ve ever experienced with the constant drumbeat of commercials, sales, bait and switch schemes, and alleged price drops. I’m beginning to believe that the majority of people in this country are just as stupid as I once suspected.
Working with and for retailers for years gives me an excellent perspective on things and it’s depressing as hell. Not only did retailers start earlier than ever with their push, the sales and price reductions were ridiculous. Did it ever occur to people that if they can sell most of their goods at these Black Friday prices, just how much their actual markup really is. They reduce prices by thirty percent and still seem to be making money. All that tells me is that for 51 weeks every year we are being criminally overcharged for just about everything. Does that stop the crowds from becoming near riots so they can purchase a certain doll or a certain electronic gadget? Hell no! It’s a form of insanity that brings out the absolute worst in some people as well as the constant and unrelenting pandering by the retailers. It’s maddening.
The retailers seem desperate to one-up all of their competitors to grab a little more market share. One of the commercials I can mention is the one that got me thinking along these lines. How bad does it have to be for the Kleenex company to start a competition where consumers are asked to relate an uplifting story of a personal interaction with a Kleenex tissue. Who in their right mind is going to invest their time to write a heart rendering nose-wiping story. Just unbelievable.
I harken back to the Y2K fiasco. That was the tipping point for me. I saw retailers and businesses panic millions of citizens and other businesses into spending billions of dollars for a trumped up emergency that never happened. It appears that we haven’t gotten any smarter in the intervening years.
I needed to rant a little today because this kind of idiocy makes me even crazier than usual. I see no end to it and there seems to be no concern by the buying public about how much they’re being manipulated. What more can I say? Not much that will be listened to for sure. Here’s my last word on the subject for this year so listen closely.
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(Sarcasm on)
Merry Christmas – HO! HO! HO!
Santa has requested that I help him out this year by collecting funds needed for the ever increasing costs for reindeer feed, new uniforms, and elf shoes. Just have all of your friends immediately send $10.00 to me and I’ll make sure you’re all moved directly to the top of his gift giving list. The sooner you act the better because the funds are badly needed to help Santa deal with the many holiday stresses for him and his helpers, of which I am one. I’ll be able to spend a week in Tahiti for Christmas with my family so I can be ready for next years duties. All of this holiday stress has become a dangerous health issue for us and it doesn’t seem to be covered by Obamacare. Help us out, who can’t afford a $10.00 donation for such a good cause. Santa will love you forever and you just might get that special gift you’ve always wanted next year. I should also mention that we have a payment plan in effect where your ten dollar donation can be deducted monthly from your account and delivered DIRECTLY to Santa for his expenses during the off season. Get your kids involved, they love Santa too. Santa stickers are also available for just $7.00 and can be shipped directly to your home. Just add $8.00 for shipping and handling.
HAVE A HAPPY AND GENEROUS HOLIDAY SEASON
(Sarcasm off)
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P.S. I only marked the last paragraph as Sarcasm due to MY fear that certain people would read it, react, and immediately rush to send me their $10.00. I’m just cynical enough to believe that could happen so please, DON’T SEND ANY MONEY.
I thought starting the month of December with part two of my review of “Things I Once Hated” would be appropriate. After working for a toy retailer for thirteen years, I once hated Christmas with a passion, but as you can see I continue to show improvement in some areas. Here are the next fifteen items.
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#11 Pierced Clits – While I think these body decorations can be interesting they also have the ability to be dangerous. I no longer hate them but I do think we males should be forewarned in some fashion as to the possible dangers to our equipment. 100% improvement.
#12 Large Groups of People – I still hate this. You can’t easily get over a phobia like this so there will never be improvement here.
#13 Old Gum Under Tables – No matter how good that old gum might taste I refuse to partake. It also sticks to the knees of my pants and I hate that. No improvement.
#14 Penis Tattooing – Just saying those two words make me cringe. I still hate unnecessary puncturing of the genitals for any reason and can’t be convinced otherwise. No improvement.
#15 Penn & Teller – Over the years my opinion on these two has changed a lot. I still think Penn is a big blowhard but I’ve taken a liking to Teller. He knows when to keep his mouth shut. 50% improvement.
#16 Dumb Cashiers – This problem is even worse now than it was when I initially made my list. No improvement to this everlasting annoyance.
#17 Stinky Feet – Unfortunately I still hate this. To my everlasting embarrassment I’ve become a contributor to this problem. I hate my own feet and how they reek. No improvement.
#18 Decomposition – My feelings about this go hand-in-hand with Funerals. Thank God for cremation because I don’t even like to think about being embalmed and left to rot. Creepy as hell if you ask me so there’s no improvement.
#19 Night Farts – I’ve had to modify my feeling somewhat on night farting. While I don’t mind my own I have some serious issues with my better-half. So I’ll just call that a 50% improvement.
#20 Bugs Crawling On Me – Absolutely no change here. I freaking hate it. No improvement.
#21 Tongue Studs – After giving this category a little more thought and doing a little field research I’m now all for them. See how much I’m growing and improving. 100% improvement.
#22 Hairy Bushes – This is a tough one. In Summer I hate them but in Winter I love them. I’m forced to declare an improvement of 50%. It’s just the right thing to do.
#23 Terrorists – Kill them all. No improvement.
#24 Overweight Pets – This category can’t really change. Owners are mostly responsible for this problem and need to change their ways. No improvement.
#25 Know-It-All’s – No change here either. These people make me want to scream and then kick their collective asses.
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That concludes my revisits to the first twenty five items on my list of one hundred. More to come in the next few weeks.
Well, it’s the day after Black Friday which in fact started almost a week ago and I assume by next year will almost certainly become Black November. That way they can begin their annoying Christmas push the day after Halloween. I chose this year to not leave the house on Black Friday. I try to miss it as often as I possibly can. After more than twenty-five years of working for retail corporations and being forced to work Black Friday every year, I refuse to ever do it again.
This morning my better-half hit the ground running when she arrived in the bedroom to wake me up well before I was ready. If it isn’t the cat it’s her. She was on her third cup of coffee and talking ninety miles an hour and rattling off the list of stores we’d be visiting on our planned shopping trip. There just wasn’t enough coffee in the house to get me out of that bed quickly but eventually I stumbled to the kitchen and tried to wake up.
An hour or so later we were on our way. I really wasn’t into the shopping but I made sure I drove us through areas where good photographs might be found. It was a bright and clear sunny day and I didn’t want to waste any of it. Here are a few photo’s to help you appreciate Maine a little.
We had a great day together where my better-half wandered around looking and touching everything she saw and was able to fill the car rather easily with all sorts of treasures. We’ve just arrived home and hopefully I can settle in and relax for a few hours before the nonsense starts again tomorrow. I can expect another early wakeup call and I need a little time to come up with a reason or two why I can’t be dragged shopping once again. It’s never worked before but I can only keep trying.
‘Say hello to the horses.’
everyuselessthing.com 