It’s been ten years this month that Andy Rooney passed away. I’ve been thinking for a few days on exactly how I wanted to memorialize him. A standard review of his resume doesn’t do him justice. I wanted to thank him more than anything for the interesting insights he gave me while sitting and enjoying his essays.
I was never a big fan of 60 Minutes from the start because I felt at times they were dishonest and biased despite what they claimed. I can count on one hand how many of their shows I actually watched in their entirety. That being said, I tried never to miss an Andy Rooney segment if at all possible. He brought to the table many years of experience which helped make him special. His downright honesty was the first thing I noticed and appreciated. He spoke of things as he saw them and didn’t tolerate biases and prejudices and all the other crap the majority of journalists do. I’ve always felt that he, like Jerry Seinfeld, had that special view of things along with an excellent means of communicating them to millions of people with humor and honesty.
If the three of us were in a room together that was full of stacks of old books here’s what would happen. Seinfeld would write a 30 minute long TV episode about how people stacked books. I would attempt to explain how certain book stackers irritated me. Andy would take certain information from some of those books and weave a five-minute story that would make you laugh and capture your imagination at the same time. He had a knack!
I’ve missed him a lot over the years but I’ll never forget the pleasurable moments he gave me every Sunday night. Shalom and Aloha Andy and thanks again.
I’m as big a critic of President Biden as anyone one but one of my biggest pet peeves with him is his inability to make a quick and logical decision without involving the Congress or twenty advisory committees. It’s as if he realizes his decisions may be faulty so he asks for backup to try and cover his butt if things don’t go as expected. In my mind that does not make a good leader, it actually weakens the presidency in the eyes of the world as recent comments from Great Britain confirm. So I’ve gone searching for the thoughts of other late and great Americans on this subject.
“Problems come when the individual tries to hand over the decision-making to a committee.” Rupert Murdoch
” If I had to sum up in one word what makes a good manager, I’d say decisiveness.” Lee Iacocca
“The percentage of mistakes in quick decisions is no greater than in long, drawn-out vacillations, and the effective of decisiveness itself “makes things go” and creates confidence.” Ann O’Hare McCormick
” A decision delayed until it is too late is not a decision; it’s an evasion.” Anonymous
I understand the need of big government to have panels and advisory committees. The President supposedly makes the final decision but a really smart president makes it in a reasonable length of time. The need for lengthy meetings, conferences, and telephone calls in the middle of the night to Democratic and Republican buddies isn’t getting the job done in my view. Nothing is more important than a timely decision. If the voters in this country took as long to make a decision as some of the politicians, it would take twelve years to elect a president. Now that I think about it maybe that’s the best way to go.
A QUESTIONABLE DECISION IS PREFERABLE TO A DELAYED ONE
I thought I would spend some time today dragging you back to the reality that was the 1960’s. I’ve written this story one other time many years ago but I think it never hurts to repeat something that makes me smile. I hope you enjoy it as much as I did at the time.
Let me take you back to the 1960s when life was good, drugs were plentiful, and love was free (as we all know it’s never free). I was a struggling Art major attending a small midwestern school with my fair share of financial difficulties as most college students have. I was forced to take jobs that I hated but sometimes you just have no choice in the matter. I was a busboy in the college cafeteria during my freshman year which was quite possibly the most demeaning job I’ve ever had. It was awash with benefits like the $1.50 an hour I was making and the incredible amount of crap I had to take from my fellow students. I decided a short time later that I’d never bus tables again, resigned my position, and walked away.
By walking away it made my financial situation a bit more difficult forcing me to scramble to find some kind of work to pay my bills. Where do you go in a case like that, the student billboard of course. As I was perusing through the tons of nonsense hanging on that billboard I found a small note with only three words on it and a telephone number, NUDE MODEL WANTED. I put the note in my pocket and returned to my dorm room to give it more thought. An hour or so later I finally called the number and surprise, surprise, it was one of my professors home telephone number. In those days $10 an hour was a lot of money but the consequences of modeling nude were numerous. He assured me I wouldn’t be required to model for my own classmates but I knew that being in such a small school the word would get out quickly enough. For about a week I weighed the pros and cons of sitting nude before numerous art classes and finally made the fatal telephone call and accepted the job.
You have to understand something, I was at that time in my life extremely shy and my self-esteem had yet to be developed to its present fantastic levels. My instructions were as follows; sit unmoving for one to two hours a session (10 min. break per hour), make no unnecessary facial expressions, no acknowledgment of friends, and TO BE TOTALLY FREAKING NAKED. I must’ve been out of my mind.
Not Me Either!
Day one started in front of the mirror in my dorm room checking my body for unnecessary hair in odd places and zits no matter where they were. There was only so much I can do because “what you see is what you get”, so I made my way to the Art building for my debut. I stood in the hallway, removed my robe and pranced (I could’ve used a better word here) naked into the room. Unfortunately as I looked around I knew damn near everyone. All of my so-called friends and classmates decided they would show their moral support by attending. The hooting and catcalls only lasted for a few minutes until the instructor quieted things down. He was grinning and enjoying himself like everyone else. As I told them all the next day and as I’m telling you now, “it was a VERY, VERY cold room”. I was able to ignore all the laughter, lewd comments, and the snickering but I managed to survive.
Over the next three months I modeled for probably 500 students and I soon became quite popular in the artist community. I had more dates than I can handle and my dance card was always filled on the weekends. Is there a moral to this story? I really can’t say. Getting naked in front of strangers was difficult but the money was good and kept my head above water for that school year. I got naked many times over the years since but only in special one-on-one situations with female friends where I immediately waived my fee.
Are you old? Let me rephrase that. Do you think you’re old? That’s the question everyone knows is coming but nobody wants to deal with. Unfortunately most people who are old know it but again refuse to deal with the reality. Some people just can’t get past the fact that there isn’t one damn thing they can do to combat it. Plastic surgery works for some but eventually you’ll end up looking like a really silly cartoon character. Many have paid for a new young face, fake hair, fake boobs, butt implants, and still insist on wearing old people clothing. Old folks never quite get the hang of dressing properly because they keep sliding “fashion backward” to a time when they were young. They mistakenly think it still looks cool.
Well I’m not complaining about any of those things just willing to pass along some others you should be looking for if you’re worried about getting old. I’m old, I know I’m old, and I went through this list myself just for laughs. I’m not laughing now. In my head I’m thirty years old but this list kicked my elderly ass. If you are experiencing 50% of the things on this list you ARE really old. Have fun . . .
Your kids are becoming you and you don’t like them very much.
Going out is okay but coming home is better.
You forget names but it’s okay since no one remembers you either.
Your spouse is counting on you to remember things you don’t remember.
The things you used to care to do, you no longer care to do, but you really do care that you don’t care to do them anymore.
You spend a good deal of your day looking for things you hid so you wouldn’t lose them.
You can’t use more four letter words i.e. what?, when?, and where?
You notice everything sold in stores is “sleeveless”.
What used to be freckles are now age spots.
You constantly call your children and grandchildren for help with your computer.
You have three sizes of clothing in your closet (fat, fatter, and fattest) two of which you will never wear again.
You find yourself spending a great deal of time trying to have conversations with Alexa.
All of your favorite songs are now only heard in TV commercials.
You find yourself trying to remember what stories you told one person.
You miss the days when everything worked with just an “ON” and “OFF” switch.
Well how have you fared? Now that you’ve received a second opinion verifying what you already knew, welcome to old age. I’ve been here for a while waiting for all of you to arrive. Just between us, in a few days you won’t remember any of this anyway. I have to go now, it’s 3:30 PM and time for dinner at the IHOP. There’s a 10% discount for old farts so don’t forget your mask and your AARP membership card.
I’ve been a fan of the Darwin Awards for many years. I’m not sure why I enjoy reading about stupid people dying in stupid ways, but I do. Here’s a headline I happened upon as I was surfing this morning. If anyone deserved a Dumb💩💩Award it’s this genius.
Dad of three crushed to death under BMW as he tried to steal a catalytic converter.
Life to me is nothing more than a series of connections of actions and words between individuals. What I do or say on any given day has some effect on others. They in turn take actions and say things prompted by what I’ve said or done. Therefore my actions and words will ripple through great numbers of people allowing me the ability to indirectly create change. That’s one of the many reasons I enjoy blogging. On most days the majority of citizens feel disenfranchised by the system because they believe they cannot effect change. Many people fear change but I don’t. I’ll keep writing and voicing my opinions and they will be read by others, not just in the United States, but worldwide. My records indicate that the things I’ve written have been read in over eighty countries. It’s the best solution I can offer as I try to effect change. What blogs offer is considerably more interesting than what Facebook, Twitter, or Instagram are supplying us with. Find some blogs you can relate to and get involved.
“When you’re safe at home you wish you were having an adventure; when you’re having an adventure you wish you were home.” – Thornton Wilder
“You cannot change anyone, but you can be the reason someone changes.” – Roy T. Bennett
“Life is a series of natural and spontaneous changes. Don’t resist them; that only creates sorrow. Let reality be reality. Let things flow naturally forward in whatever way they like.” – Lao Tzu
“Change is the law of life. And those who look only to the past or present are certain to miss the future.” – John F. Kennedy
“Take advantage of every opportunity to practice your communication skills so that when important occasions arise, you will have the gift, the style, the sharpness, the clarity, and the emotions to affect other people. – Jim Rohn
“You can’t just keep doing what works one time, everything around you is changing. To succeed, stay out in front of change.” – Sam Walton (Walmart)
“Everyone thinks of changing the world, but no one thinks of changing himself.” – Leo Tolstoy
Like everyone else I spend an inordinate amount of my time people watching, listening, and wondering. We all do it and most of us find it enjoyable but even those that don’t do find it interesting and curious. As I surf the Net I’ve read thousands of articles that center most of their interests on people. Looking at it from my perspective, what else is there to write about that will capture an audience. People are by far the most interesting and disturbing characters to examine that I’ve found. Dogs? No way, Cats? Not so much, Trees? Boring . . .
Once I made the decision to write primarily about people is when I stumbled upon reams and reams of information that I found cute, somewhat interesting, and some that were just down-right stupid. With that in mind I thought I’d send along a few facts to amuse and inform you.
40% of all people who come to a party in your home snoop in your medicine cabinet. (Remember this when you throw your next party)
Every day 200 million couples make love, 400,000 babies are born, and 140,000 people die. (Our three main interests)
Over the same period of time, women who read romance novels tend to have twice as many lovers as those who don’t. (Romance novels = motivation)
The frequency with which a woman has orgasms during her sleep actually increases as she ages during her childbearing years. (Is it any wonder they think they can do without man completely)
Mothers pregnant with boys are less forgetful than those carrying girls. (I don’t know what to make of this tidbit)
Girls have more taste buds than boys. (I can go off-color here but I won’t)
As I’ve stated many times before I want to meet the people who research these odd bits of information just out of sheer curiosity. I’d like to know if these facts are really as accurate as they say. I also want to submit my resume to them for their next job opening. This would have to be the best freaking job on the planet and I want in.
I honestly try to avoid getting into political discussions and arguments with people because any fool knows it’s a waste of time. As I’ve always explained, I don’t have a lot of good things to say about any politician whether they be Democrats or Republicans. I think the system has the ability to corrupt even the most honest elected official once they been in office for a period of time. As a lover of history I constantly fall back on the words and opinions of past politicians who practiced their politics in a different way than these modern magicians.
Today I think it’s time that we hear from some of those experts on exactly what a politician is or should be. These quotes, no matter how old, still retain a great deal of truth about the human condition both good and evil and how they operate within their political reality.
“Politics are too serious a matter to be left to the politicians.” Charles De Gaulle 1961
Anonymous: Do you pray for the Senators, Dr. Hale? Hale:” No, I look at the Senators and pray for the country.” Edward Everett Hale 1964, Senate Chaplain
“If ever this free people – if this Government itself is ever utterly demoralized, it will come from this human wriggle and struggle for office – a way to live without work; from which nature I am not free myself.” Abraham Lincoln 1865
“Politicians who vote huge expenditures to alleviate problems get reelected; those who propose structural changes to prevent problems get early-retirement.” John McClaughry 1978
“A politician should have three hats: one for throwing in the ring, one for talking through, and one for pulling rabbits out of if elected.” Carl Sandburg (1878-1967)
I can only assume that all of you are as sick of this pandemic lifestyle we’ve been forced into. I know I’ve made some rather harsh remarks recently about people who refuse to get vaccinations but being a problem solver forced me to find a workable solution to possibly help those folks.
The coronavirus is one of a group of viruses which includes the common cold. I decided to check around to see if I can find anything that might assist the anti-vaxers to battle viruses without compromising their principles. What I’m about to tell you is nothing new but we’re running out of options and this may be the final one available for you undecided folks. Most of the symptoms of Covid-19 are similar to those of the common cold. With vaccines out of the mix I found this ancient remedy that may be worth a try. Doing something is always better than doing nothing. IMO
Make sure to wrap it tightly around your neck for best results.
CURE #1
A woolen sock, yes you heard me, I said, a woolen sock. But you must use a woolen sock – not a synthetic, “nasty” fiber sock. The wool sock must be dirty – worn by someone else, preferably someone who is strong and healthy. It’s best for a woman with symptoms to use a healthy man’s soiled sock and vice versa.
The dirty sock should be turned inside out – with the grungy part on the outside. Wrap the sock around your neck and be sure the foot part of the sock covers the sorest spot of your throat. Leave it there all night. Be warned – you will smell, and it won’t be a good smell. Your partner most assuredly will insist you sleep on the sofa. But try to get a good nights sleep despite the terrible odor. In the morning, remove the sock and Ta Da! Your symptoms should be better.
The magic in this cure is the moisture of the dirty sock. The moisture from the healthy person is absorbed while he or she is wearing it. When that same sock is placed on a sore throat, the moisture is magically absorbed by the sick person and the illness is cured.
Woman holding a dirty vinegary sock with a disgusted look on her face.
CURE #2
Another sock cure is to soak clean cotton socks – again, no synthetic fibers – in vinegar. Squeeze out the excess vinegar and put on the socks. Get a good nights sleep and upon wakening wash your feet. You also may want to open the windows and air out the bedroom! The vinegar in the socks supposedly draws out the illness. Where the symptoms go is anyone’s guess. So be on the safe side, don’t hang around folks who wear vinegar soaked socks. Make sure they’re at least 6 to 8 feet away at all-times. I’m assuming that social distancing isn’t something you object to on moral grounds.
Well there you have it. Two alternate solutions to avoid getting vaccinated and letting the scary government run your life.
THIS HAS BEEN A SARCASTIC PUBLIC SERVICE ANNOUNCEMENT
Welcome to the Every Useless Thing discussion on up-and-coming younger generations. It’s obvious that the older generations are responsible for the various nicknames to the younger generations i.e. Greatest Generation, Silent Generation, Baby Boomers, Gen X, Gen Y (Millennials), Gen Z, and the internet generation. Of course they never name themselves because that’s the job of the next generation to take care of. It’s all so silly. That’s why a history lesson is in order. Here we go . . .
I remember as a child being told by my parents that the younger generation (including me) were screwed up, uncaring, and unthinking. I took great offense to that and it just motivated me to rebel at every opportunity much to their chagrin. Jump ahead thirty-five years and I actually heard myself saying the same kinds of things during one of my angry moments in dealing with my son. Soon after that conversation I was having a coffee at a local café (pre-pandemic) and I just started chuckling to myself. The more I thought about the conversation with my son the funnier it became because it’s not often I’m able to recognize an epiphany when I have one.
I read quite a bit and the diversity of my subject matter is what makes it so much fun. The following quotation was in a recent book I read and as soon as I saw it I began chuckling again. Even 5000 years ago the adults were saying the same damn things about their younger generations and it keeps me optimistic about the generations to come. Also having a close relationship with a few of the younger generation keeps me on my toes and aware of their thoughts, ideas, and approaches to us grown-ups. Broad brushing a group of individuals is foolish and should be avoided at all costs.
A tablet from ancient Assyria, from about 2800 B.C., has been found that states: “Our earth is degenerate in these latter days. There are signs that the world is speedily coming to an end. Bribery and corruption are common.”
More than 2000 years later, Socrates complained, “Children are now tyrants . . .They no longer rise when elders enter the room. They contradict their parents, chatter before company, gobble up dainties at the table, cross their legs, and tyrannize over their teachers.”
And Plato also wrote of his students: ” What is happening to our young people? They riot in the streets inflamed with wild notions, their morals are decaying, what is to become of them?”
If reading that doesn’t make you chuckle just a little then you’ve got a problem. It gives me a great deal of comfort to think that the grown-ups then were moaning and complaining just like we do now and how the next generation will be moaning and complaining about us.
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