Archive for the ‘Kill Me, I’m Begging You’ Category
I’m still on my first cup of coffee this morning. I’ve been awake for an hour and only left my bed once. I’m relaxing and preparing for my day which I hope will remain calm and restful. I’m trying to decide what I’ll be doing with my unexpected few days of vacation I’m on. Anyone who is in a lengthy relationship knows that any day your spouse or partner is away doing something is a free vacation (mental health) day. We certainly never tell them that’s how we feel but facts are facts.
My better-half has once again volunteered to help out her daughter and son-in-law by babysitting their children for three days while they’re on vacation in Los Angeles. I volunteered to stay at our home while she travels to their residence to be with the kids. She’ll be staying there until the weekend and it’s my job to arrive in a timely fashion with takeout meals and moral support. That’s the kind of job I really like. For a change I’m able to avoid a total commitment of my time and energy to others and to enjoy my alone time Hooray for me.
I get to spend my day working on a painting I started a few days ago for which I need real peace and quiet to do. I hope to make serious progress over the next three days while listening to music that soothes me instead of hurting my ears. It could be as close to heaven as I can get these days and I intend to make the most of it. It will end soon enough.
My biggest chore for today is to decide what food I need to buy for their dinner and when to deliver it to her and the kids. I suspect she’ll be damn glad to see me after chasing the two toddlers, two dogs, and two cats around the house for half a day. I wouldn’t wish that on my worst enemy but she seems to love it. I’d better remember to throw a couple of cold beers into the food bag as well. It’ll be just like tossing a life vest to a drowning man.
Well, I’d like to keep writing but my stomach is rumbling and wants to be fed. I’ll make us a delicious breakfast, drink another cup of excellent coffee, and count my blessings once again. I can picture in my head my better-half, the two little boys, two dogs, and two cats all snuggled together in bed for the next two nights. I can’t help but smile a little and when no ones around to hear I can laugh my ass off.
Special Note to Self: Be sure to give her a thorough flea and tick inspection upon her return. We don’t need any tiny livestock catching a ride to our house.
WHO DOESN’T LOVE VACATION DAYS
In my last post I took you on a tour of Old Orchard Beach, Maine. You got to see the beaches full of people, a friendly bar to hangout in, and a cute bikini clad girl buried in sand. I hope you didn’t think that covered our entire visit because there was much more to it. Today I’ll take you along on our continuing tour that includes my better-half’s favorite spot. Welcome to the Amusement Park.
Doesn’t look like much from the outside but . . .
The Arcade while not my favorite place is always interesting. Tourists from just about anywhere flock to this place to throw their money away or to just drop off their kids for a few hours. Where else can you win tickets for doing just about anything and at the end of your day you’d have spent forty bucks to win enough tickets to buy a pack of gum. My better-half is for some reason a Skee Ball addict. She insists on throwing her money away, winning a fistful of tickets, that she ends up giving to some kid who happens to be standing around picking his nose. It’s always puzzled me and I fear it will continue to do so.
Who can resist all of this fine looking merchandise?
Never let it be said that I’m immune to the attractions of this park. I was once again drawn to a booth where I was permitted to spend five bucks to throw two tiny bean bags at some under inflated balloons. Being a former Little League baseball player I was stunned when I actually broke two of those stupid balloons and won my honey this glorious and somewhat ridiculous prize.
Who doesn’t love a cuddly little frog?
Once again I became a willing victim of all the hype that’s constantly spewed by this park. It seems to happen every time I visit here and stranger still, I don’t mind at all.
I’m so excited by all the hubbub in an amusement park I actually feel kind of bad that I’m not permitted to ride these stupid rides. As a young kid I was too short to ride them and now all these years later I’m too tall and plump to fit in them. There’s just no justice in this world.
FORTUNATELY . . . IT’S ALL GOOD FUN!
OUR SUMMER CONTINUES!
With the better-half’s vacation coming to an end I can see the light at the end of the honey-do list tunnel. It’s been a great week for use both and to prove it I’m posting a number of miscellaneous photos taken in odd places at odd times. People may call these locations flea markets yard sales or garage sales but let me be a bit more accurate. It’s more like junk yards, piles of crap, or just plain garbage. I know I’m being a little harsh but OMG.
Just what every summer tourist needs . . . snow shoes.
Then who doesn’t need dishes and glassware at a quarter a piece?
I’ve held two garage sales in my life and I know how I prepared for the shopping public. I unloaded every piece of crap I could find onto tables, priced them for under a dollar, smiled a lot, lowered the prices when necessary, and at the end of the day I made a hundred dollars or so. Who knew my crap was so in demand.
Does this look familiar to you?
How about this.
I’m not a shopaholic like my better-half and thank god for that. I can only handle visiting a few of these places before I start to get a little crazy. It makes me itch all over with imaginary bugs and the smell at times is godawful.
Does anyone out there really need a POS boat. NO! How about a bunch of nasty looking lobster traps?
P. T. Barnum had it right all along. As far as suckers go, “There’s one born every minute.
SO TRUE . . . SO TRUE
Well, another holiday has come and gone. Overall it was a great weekend for us here in Maine. I do realize there are problems in many parts of this country where patriotism is now frowned upon for fear of alienating all of the aliens, both legal and more likely illegal. I recently read an article where a student was sent home from school because he wore a pro-America t- shirt. If that was my son I could easily been persuaded to some sort of violence and rightly so. I realize it’s chic and liberal to trash the United States at every turn but if nothing else it’s disrespectful as hell. It disrespects every person wearing the countries uniform and I suspect it’s mostly done by people who’ve never served.
Also shame on those of you in the academic ranks who insist on turning this country into a liberal, politically correct, and impotent world power by brainwashing our children with liberal claptrap (that’s right . . . I said claptrap.). Shame on you all.
Now that I have that rant off my chest let me continue. My better-half and I did a little traveling around our state over the weekend and I couldn’t have been prouder. It seems that the people of Maine may distrust our politicians (as they should) but still love their country. We must have seen five hundred or more flags flying from buildings, businesses, and homes.
In the town of Sebago, Maine which covers a rather large area, every telephone pole that we saw for miles was flying the colors. So to all of you America haters across the country how about finding the closest airport, get on the fastest plane you can find and GET THE HELL OUT (call me if you need a ride to the airport).
HAPPY BIRTHDAY AMERICA
It’s another day in paradise here in Maine as I drag my butt out of bed this morning. Time to leap to my feet, put on my shorts, and go jogging for a few miles. If you believe that then there’s something really wrong. The only jogging I’ll do is with my car. I’ll be spending my time today sitting in front of this computer and working on my series of designs that have consumed me for a month.
Yes, I consider myself an artist even though a few others might dispute that. What others think has never really been something I concern myself with and I doubt I ever will. If you’re around long enough you learn early on that everyone is an effing critic. I love critics and on occasion I’m one myself. It’s the anonymous and cowardly ones that irritate me.
I’ve been reading a strange book of “Poisonous Quotations” and that anonymous guy sure has a lot to say in that tome. Here are a few samples of his anonymous work.
“Modern art is like trying to follow the plot in alphabet soup.”
“Modern art is when you buy a picture to cover a hole in the wall and then decide the hole looks better.”
“A modern artist is one who throws paint on a canvas, wipes it off with a cloth, and sells the cloth.”
“One reassuring thing about modern art is that things can’t possibly be as bad as they are painted.”
Those four quotation are cowardly since the authors were afraid to identify themselves. I don’t mind criticism if the individual will stand up in front of the artist and offer his opinions directly. Here are a few well known people who also have an apparent distaste for art but aren’t afraid to say so publicly.
“Abstract art is the product of the untalented, sold by the unprincipled to the utterly bewildered.” Al Capp
‘One sees a square lady with three breasts and a guitar up her crotch.” Noel Coward
“Art is a jealous mistress.” Ralph Waldo Emerson
“Art is either plagiarism or revolution.” Paul Gauguin
“Art for art’s sake makes no more sense than gin for gin’s sake.” W. Somerset Maugham
“I’m glad the old masters are all dead, and I only wish they had died sooner.” Mark Twain
Lets hear from someone once very well known in the political world. Like any politician he takes forth-three words to say two . . . “It stinks.”
“I can truthfully say that the painter has observed the Ten Commandments. Because he hath not made to himself the likeness of anything in heaven above, or that which is on earth beneath, or that which is in the water under the earth.” Abraham Lincoln
And last but not least here is someone who answered his critics directly and clearly. My second favorite favorite artist of all time right behind Salvador Dali as seen above.
“Everyone wants to understand painting. Why don’t they try to understand the singing of the birds? People love the night, a flower, everything which surrounds them without trying to understand them. But painting – that they must understand.” Pablo Picasso
WELL STATED PABLO
It’s been a hectic week for me. I’ve been working steadily for almost two months on sketches that have made me a little crazy. I’ve finished twelve so far with more coming. These are black & white lined sketches that are digitized as I complete them. I then use my computer software to add the colors of my choice. Here is a 2X2 inch section of the first one I completed. I’m posting it for my sister so can see and understand just what the hell I’m doing. Here it is Deb.
It’s not much of an explanation but it’s the best I can do for now. I’ve titled this one “Confusion” and rightly so.
Now on to other things. I had a really close call yesterday and I’m not sure why I’m not in a hospital today. My guardian angel must have been working overtime. I was cutting my grass on a fairly new Toro riding mower. Our property is somewhat hilly in spots and I always take a great deal of care when cutting there. I guess no matter how careful you are accidents can still occur.
I was listening to my Ipod as I cut the grass and possibly was a little distracted by the music. I somehow missed seeing a large rock partially buried in the ground and hidden by high grass. I struck that boulder with the blade going at it highest speed. The blade hit the rock, bent itself into a question mark shape, dug into the ground, and flipped the mower completely over. I was airborne for ten feet and thankfully landed on my fat ass and not on my thick skull.
I was dazed and confused to say the least. Minor damages to the mower and to me but some serious damage to the yard. If I hadn’t been thrown off it could easily have landed on me and broken ever bone in my body.
As I rolled out of bed this morning I was bruised and sore in many places but nothing serious. Thanks to Toro for building a machine whose safeguards kicked in and shut down the engine as it tipped over. Needless to say I’m glad to in one piece today.
WHO SAID GARDENING AND YARD WORK ISN’T DANGEROUS
NOT ME THAT’S FOR SURE!!
‘Honey, I think we missed the turn to Home Goods.’
Well, it’s the first of June and I suppose this could be considered my first real Summer day. Unfortunately for me it’s not starting very well. Last night I was advised by my better-half that we’d be spending her day-off on another of her infamous shopping safaris. Those shopping trips are bearable in the winter when you just want to get out of the house but not so much in Summer when it’s sunny and warm and you can hear the beach calling your name.
I can’t believe in all honesty that I’ll enjoy a day of driving from store to store and waiting in the car. Most of the stores she visits hold no interest for me and I’m truly honored to be permitted to sit in her car and wait for her. I feel a lot like the natives on many of the early Tarzan movies. The great white hunter is strolling along carrying his rifle and a flask of brandy. I’m the last guy in line carrying the 300 pound backpack and silently cursing under my breath.
She packs a purse and a credit card while I usually bring my favorite safari equipment. It consists of my cell phone so I can call for help if necessary, my Kindle to keep me from screaming out of boredom, and this IPad so I can write my posts for the blog about how used and abused I feel.
This is is some sort of weird ass-backward payback for my taking her out to dinner last night. We visited a restaurant called Running of the Mill. It’s a nineteenth century textile mill that has been slowly converted into hundreds of condos, a restaurant, business offices, and an interior mall which is still in the planning stages. It’s directly adjacent to the Saco River and the nearby harbor. It’s very nice.
We had our meal on the terrace and enjoyed the sunshine and the warm breeze. The better-half ordered a slab of haddock as long as her arm and I enjoyed a huge club sandwich and fries.
It was a really relaxing evening and we thoroughly enjoyed the food and the atmosphere. Why she’s paying me back with this shopping foray today is beyond me. She probably thinks she’s doing a favor.
Right now I’m sitting in a Lowe’s parking lot while she spends an hour doing work schedules for her employees. Little does she know that in mere moments I’ll be reclining this seat back and catching a well deserved nap.
AT LEAST SHE LEFT THE WINDOW CRACKED
I’ve been writing so much lately about gardening and gardens, today it’s all about something else entirely. There aren’t many things in life that I truly detest but dentistry and visits to the dentist lead the list.
Since the age of 13 I’ve spent a large portion of my life in dentists offices thanks to my late, great BFF who knocked most of my front teeth out during a sandlot football game. That was back in the day when no one had mouthpieces and if you took a shot to the chops there were serious consequences. Ever since then it’s been one thing after another with my teeth. For more than 50 years I’ve had a series of plastic and metal bridges of one sort or another thanks to an one carelessly thrown elbow.
Just recently my dentist of 14 years decided to divorce his wife, leave town, get remarried, and retire. He was courteous enough to send out forms to all of his patients which released our records to the new dentist we’d be using. Being a good little boy that I am I filled out all the release forms as directed and sent them back, waiting patiently for them to arrive at the new dentist’s office. They never arrived. I attempted to make telephone contact but his former telephone number was no longer working, the office was no longer open, and that SOB had moved away and left no forwarding address. Thanks a lot doc.
So today I’m making my second visit to my new dentist and I have to start all over again because my records are no longer available. Lucky me. A week or so ago I went in for my initial consultation with my new dentist and had to fill out more paperwork than I care to tell you about along with some teeth cleaning, teeth scanning, and x-raying. A second visit was scheduled where I would get up close and personnel with the new dentist where he could explain to me all of my future options to regain my pearly smile. That visit is today.
I’m really not looking forward to being filled with Novocain and to have three teeth rebuilt and then to pay my portion of the reconstruction of $250 out-of-pocket. Then I’ll have to sit through a 45 minute consultation where my new dentist will explain to me just how screwed up my mouth and teeth are and how much it’s going to cost for new bridgework and additional repairs. I can already feel his hand reaching into my back pocket in an attempt to remove all the money from my wallet.
So I’m just walking out the door now to begin my day of fun. If I had all of the money I’ve spent on dentistry over my lifetime I could probably buy the state of Maine and put a fence around it. I’m stopping for now but I’ll return in a few hours to complete this post.
Time passes . . . . .
It’s now three hours later and I’ve returned home. The left side of my face remain somewhat numb while allows to to droll at any given moment. I’ve been drilled and poked and then drilled some more. As I was escorted to the door I was permitted to pay a couple of hundred dollars out-of-pocket and then given more options for my next visit. Option #1 will cost over-and-above the insurance coverage . . $600.00. Option #2 cha-chings up to $1500.00.
I JUST CAN’T WAIT !!!
Before I get started today I need to make a declaration. I LOVE HOT PEPPERS! It’s my opinion that almost everything is improved if you can make it hotter. I make a lot of salsa’s and chili’s and have upwards of six really excellent recipes using an assortment of hot peppers. I grow some of my own when possible and I’ll buy from almost any source when certain peppers aren’t available locally.
I received some bad news a few days ago concerning an ex-loved one who passed away. I was feeling a little blue after receiving the news. My better-half suggested we go out for dinner and where better than a Mexican restaurant to look for therapy. We’ve been visiting this restaurant for years and we knew the food would be excellent. Not only could I people watch for a while but I could also eat all of the smoking hot food I could handle. A proper atmosphere to rid myself of the blues.
I’ve told you all of these boring facts about myself so you’ll understand the rest of this story. As we waited for our food to arrive a new bartender appeared and began chatting with everyone. He and I got into a friendly discussion about our love of hot food when he surprised me. He pulled a large jar from under the bar that was filled with tequila. Floating in the the tequila was an assortment of hot peppers, habanero’s, Serrano’s, and jalapeño’s. The tequila had been soaking up all of that lovely flavor and hotness for a week. He dared me to try his latest creation, the “Hot Pepper Margarita”. I couldn’t refuse and look like a coward so I took a long pull on the straw after salting my tongue and lips.
I’m sure you’ve heard the term “taking ones breath away”. That’s exactly what that margarita did. It was a little sweet and hot enough to make me gasp. It was freaking delicious. Little did I know that I was first customer dumb enough to try it. I was so dumb in fact I tried it again and again. My head was sweating, my mouth was burning, and I was in heaven.
Now you know why I have this mother-of-all hangovers this morning. I stumbled into the kitchen last night around 3:00am badly in need of a glass or two of cold water. The water was so cooling and delicious but tasted strangely familiar . . . just like jalapeños. I’m now on my third cup of coffee as I sit here writing this and it too tastes just like jalapeños.
Don’t get me wrong . . . I’m not complaining in the least. I can’t wait to get back on my feet and do it all over again . . . in a week or two.
I’m going out later today to make a few purchases of my own. Two bottles of tequila, habanero peppers, Serrano peppers, and a few jalapeño peppers. I’ll be making my own hot pepper infusion to serve a perfect Hot Pepper Margarita to any of our summer visitors.
PASS THE ADVIL PLEASE.
I awoke this morning and once again my body is achy and sore. We had such a beautiful day yesterday that I once again over-did the yard work and totally exhausted myself. I should know better by now but the warm weather and sunshine just kind of sweep me away and make me stupid.
Today will be one of my favorite kind of days which means I probably won’t do much of anything. I may run a few errands and work on some design sketches but nothing too serious. It’s going to be warm again which translates to some quality time for me and the cat to lounge around on the deck and listen to music or to just to read a good book (and yes, my cat can read).
I spent some time this morning on the Net trying to keep up with the political situation as it develops but it took no more than just a few minutes for that the bore me to death. I haven’t decided on any specific candidate but I have eliminated a few. I’ve had my fill of the collection of political families who’ve been dominating the scene for far too long. I think the country and the people deserve some fresh faces in the political arena which means no more Bushes and no more Clintons. Let’s just let them fade into history like the Kennedys. Enough is enough.
I’m still on the fence about Trump but I’m leaning his way for a number of reasons. His fresh and sometimes outrageous outlook on the country’s situation agrees with my own on a lot of points. If you read this blog you already know how much I hate political correctness and what it’s done to this nation. We need to break away in a new direction and I think Trump can supply that. Will he be perfect? I seriously doubt it. Will you be better off with Bernie, I think not . . . he an effing socialist. He’s willing to turn this country into a sad imitation of what Europe has become. That would be a very dangerous direction for the country to take . . . even more worrisome than Trump to be sure.
I’ll be catching up later on the news of the day from the Net because listening to the television and radio media is not worth my time. They’re more interested in forwarding their political agendas rather than reporting the truth factually. The way in which they’ve been manipulated by the Obama administration is shameful and harmful to the nation. It’s the job of the press to point out inconsistencies in how an administration governs and to investigate illegalities as they occur. In my opinion one of the worst things that ever happened in this country in recent decades was the purchase of the media by large business corporations. That was the beginning of the end for truth in media and the beginning of using the media by those corporations to forward their political agendas.
This country was established with the media as a watchdog for the citizenry to monitor and report on the politicians both good and bad. That has long since disappeared. When one part of our well oiled democratic machine ceases to work properly the entire machine suffers and eventually ceases to work at all. Welcome to the 21st-century here in America.
Well, I’m off to the deck with the cat and my Kindle for an hour of relaxation before I begin running my errands. That should be just enough time to get this short discussion about politics out of my head completely and to rebury my head in the proverbial sand. I can’t continuously think about politics or I would go insane. A good suspicion of politicians, politics, and government is what is badly needed to keep this country running properly.
I’M DOING MY PART – ARE YOU?
everyuselessthing.com 