I was never in high school during the 1950’s. I just wanted to be clear on that point because I was in then what is now called Middle School. To say there are differences between now and the fifties is the hugest understatement you will ever hear. As I’ve mentioned many times in the past, political correctness is responsible for accelerating that change. This article was initially posted in 2010 but I’ve updated it somewhat. Here are a few hypothetical scenarios showing the differences between then and now. When you first read them, you might think the scenarios are exaggerated to make a point. If you really look at it honestly you can also see how exaggerated, they aren’t.
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Scenario 1
Jack goes quail hunting before school and then pulls into the school parking lot with his shotgun in his truck’s gun rack.
1957 – Vice Principal comes over, looks at Jack’s shotgun, goes to his car and gets his shotgun to show Jack.
2022 – School goes into immediate lock down, FBI and media are alerted, Jack is hauled off to jail and never sees his truck or gun again. Counselors are called for all of the traumatized students and teachers. Media interviews replayed for days.
Scenario 2
Johnny and Mark get into a fist fight after school.
1957 – A crowd gathers. Mark wins. Johnny and Mark shake hands and end up buddies.
2022 – Teachers alert the police, and the SWAT team arrives only moments before the Media — Johnny and Mark are arrested. They’re both charged with assault and expelled even though Johnny started it. The Media interviews experts on how to control the terrible violence in schools and they are replayed on numerous stations across the country.
Scenario 3
Jeffrey will not be quiet and well-behaved in class; he disrupts other students.
1957 – Jeffrey is sent to the Principal’s office and given a good paddling by the Principal. He then returns to class, sits still and does not disrupt the class again.
2022 – Jeffrey is immediately tested for ADD and given huge doses of Ritalin. He becomes a zombie like creature. The family then applies to SSI, and Jeffrey is labeled “disabled”. The monthly government checks begin to arrive. The Media does a three-night special on the networks concerning the national pandemic of ADD and praises the benefits of Ritalin.
Scenario 4
Billy breaks a window in his neighbor’s car and his dad gives him a whipping with his belt.
1957 – Billy is more careful next time, grows up normal, goes to college and becomes a successful businessman.
2022 – Neighbor’s immediately call the police. Billy’s dad is arrested for child abuse; Billy is removed to a foster care facility for evaluation. He soon joins a gang. The state psychologist is told by Billy’s sister that she remembers being abused herself and their dad goes to prison. Billy’s mom then has an affair with the psychologist and makes a guest appearance on the Jerry Springer Show. Film at eleven!
Scenario 5
Mark gets a headache and takes some aspirin to school.
1957 – Mark shares his aspirin with a friend who also has a headache, and he feels much better.
2022 – Teachers immediately call police, and Mark is expelled from school for drug violations (zero tolerance). His car is then searched for drugs and weapons. Media proclaims continued drug problems in the school systems and Oprah Winfrey does a two-hour special.
Scenario 6
Pedro fails high school English.
1957 – Pedro goes to summer school, passes English and then goes to college.
2022 – Teachers are concerned for Pedro and his cause is taken up by the state authorities. Newspaper articles appear nationally explaining that teaching English as a requirement for graduation is racist. ACLU files a class action lawsuit against the state school system and Pedro’s English teacher. English is then banned from the core curriculum. Pedro is given his diploma anyway but ends up mowing lawns for a living because he can’t speak English.
Scenario 7
Johnny takes leftover firecrackers from the Fourth of July and puts them in a model airplane paint bottle and blows up a nest of red ants.
1957 – Ants die.
2022 – ATF, Homeland Security and the FBI are all called in. Johnny is charged with domestic terrorism for mishandling explosives. The FBI investigates his parents – and all his siblings are removed from their home and all computers confiscated. Johnny’s dad is placed on a terrorism watch list and is never allowed to fly again. Protesters and morons picket the family home because they are against domestic terrorism. A dangerous traffic jam is created by all of the Media vans attempting to get a little face time on camera.
Scenario 8
Johnny falls while running during recess and scrapes his knee. He is found crying by his teacher, Mary. Mary hugs him to comfort him.
1957 –In a short time, Johnny feels better and goes on playing.
2022 – Other teachers and Johnny’s parents accuse Mary of being a sexual predator and she loses her job. She faces 3 years in State Prison and when released becomes a well-educated street walker. Johnny undergoes 5 years of therapy and drugs and eventually finds God, shaves his head, and is now working full-time at the airport playing a tambourine.
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Do you honestly think I exaggerated a bit? Some of this is certainly tongue-in-cheek but a lot of it isn’t. I’m glad of two things; one is that I’m not a kid attending school these days, and secondly, that my children would have been taught by me the basics on how to best survive liberal academics and their constant propagandizing.
In recent months the term “Fake News” has become popular. I hate to burst anyone’s bubble, but “Fake News” has been around for a very long time. The younger generations think that they’ve discovered some outrageous political trick that never existed before they discovered it. As an example, many years ago my son (aged 13) came rushing to me all excited. He told me to sit down and listen to this great song. He told me it was being used on a TV commercial and it was the best song he ever heard. I sat down and he played it for me, and I just started grinning. The song he discovered was at that time already a golden oldie, it was the Righteous Brothers singing Unchained Melody. He was sure it was some group from his generation. “Fake News” is a new term, but it has always meant the same thing: lying, misrepresenting, and double speak. George Orwell has been proven right once again. Here are a few samples of so called “Fake News” from the past.
2003: President George W. Bush for his creative use of language in public statements regarding the reasons the United States needed to pursue war against Iraq.
2002: New York State Board of Regents for its politically correct and silent editing of state tests.
2000: The tobacco industry for its media blitz portraying tobacco companies as the benefactors of children, abused women and disaster victims. That is abusive language in pursuit of their right to sell a deadly drug.
1991: Department of Defense for obfuscation and jargon in euphemisms during the first Gulf War.
1990: President George Bush on wetlands, the Panama invasion, Tiananmen Square and the “No New Taxes” pledge.
1989: The Exxon Corporation for the “Exxon Valdez” oil spill obfuscation.
1985: The CIA for the Psychological Warfare Manual prepared for the Nicaraguan war.
1979: The nuclear power industry for its euphemisms and jargon during the 3-Mile Island accident.
1977: The Pentagon and the Energy Department for language cover-up of the neutron bomb development.
1975: Colonel David Opfer, USAF press officer in Cambodia for saying to reporters, after a raid, “You always write its bombing, bombing, bombing. It’s not bombing! It’s air support!
HERES MY FAKE NEWS ANNOUNCEMENT – “FAKE NEWS IS TRUE”
I’ve been called a sarcastic SOB so many times I can’t count. That was by friends and acquaintances who I got along with. Comments by others were often even worse. I love and live for sarcasm because it’s a subtle way to criticize or make fun of someone without conflict. The reason there’s no conflict is that most people haven’t a clue when someone is being sarcastic. They pretend to be amused but aren’t even sure why. Any time I find any information on sarcasm, and it’s uses, I buy it. Here are a few collected definitions of sarcasm you might enjoy and if they don’t make sense to you, find a sarcastic friend to explain them.
A CONSERVATIVE is someone who hates liberals because they have, at least once, seen themselves naked.
FAT is what you don’t realize you are getting until you have to suck in your gut even when you are lying down.
The CREDIT CARD is a small wallet sized device that finally made misery, ruin, and despair accessible to just about anyone.
A CUSTOMER is a person who once came first and was always right, and is now routinely ignored, disrespected, and even scoffed at by the clueless, text messaging employees of most modern-day retail establishments. This has resulted in increased Internet commerce, wherein if the customer encounters a problem, he can simply call a toll-free number to get ignored, disrespected, and even scoffed at.
A DOUGHNUT is a food created in response to the notion that if something has 20 grams of sugar, 25 grams of fat, and 425 calories, then it should be made available in groups of 12.
E-COMMERCE is a convenient way to make your bank account accessible to criminals without having to leave the comfort and safety of your own home.
EGO is the part of one’s mind that contains awareness in the sense of one’s own individuality. Highly developed in actors, models, sports figures, doctors, real estate tycoons, and God help us, our children.
EDGY describes an otherwise normal person or work of art deemed provocative or daring by virtue of a little profanity, self-mutilation, or both.
FAITH is a deeply personal, spiritual set of beliefs that provides for the option of engaging in endless, bloody civil war with anyone who has a different set of deeply personal, spiritual beliefs than you.
FASHION is something that a total of six people actually have time to follow. Which might explain why we keep seeing clips of runway models wearing some of the weirdest crap in the world, none of which ever makes it to your local Target.
This is just a short sampling of many hundreds of definitions that I’ve acquired. You’ll be seeing more of them in the future for sure.
Now that the holidays are behind us, it’s time to get rolling with trivia for 2022. I decided to restock my archives with some new and exciting trivia. I’ve been trolling the web and found 6 additional books with highly interesting, weird and strange trivia items. Let’s start with these fifteen to get this year’s started.
The German submarine, U-1206, sank in 1945 when it’s toilet was operated improperly.
Around 1 million gladiators lost their lives in the arena.
Nearly 1,500 different types of insects are eaten around the world.
Surgeons were drilling holes in people’s skulls in 6,000 B.C.
U.S. magician, Dorothy Dietrich, is the only woman to catch a fired bullet between her teeth.
The Bombardier beetle pelts enemies with a boiling, foul smelling liquid.
A Siamese cat in Russia weighed an astonishing 50 lbs. – the average weight of a 7-year-old girl.
In 1894, a shower of jellyfish fell on the city of Bath in England.
The last witch was burned in England in 1712.
Every day you shed around 500 million skin scales, 10 million of which carry bacteria.
Male vampire moths drill a feeding tube into human skin in order to suck up blood.
An earthworm excretes the equivalent of its body weight every day.
Three cyclists have died while competing in the Tour De France.
Tonsilloliths are small, yellow, foul smelling “stones” that live around the tonsils and cause bad breath.
Most people pass around 600 ml of gas a day in 14 farts.
I took it easy on you with these items. A have a host of others which are a bit more disgusting. I’ll send them along at a later date. Here’s an item concerning political correctness at its very best:
Roman Emperor Claudius (10 BC to AD 54) was said to have been so worried about people politely holding in their farts and being poisoned by them that he passed a law legalizing farting at feasts.
Wikipedia defines satire as a genre of the visual, literary, and performing arts, usually in the form of fiction and less frequently non-fiction, in which vices, follies, abuses, and shortcomings are held up to ridicule, often with the intent of shaming or exposing the perceived flaws of individuals, corporations, governments, or society itself into improvement. Although satire is usually meant to be humorous, its greater purpose is often constructive social criticism, using wit to draw attention to both particular and wider issues in our society.
All that being said, I love satire and consider it as another arm of sarcasm. The Onion is currently a website dedicated to ridiculing just about everything. It sports ridiculous stories and headlines that make you want to die laughing. The history of The Onion goes back to 1900 which makes the book I just obtained all the more interesting. I now have a huge photo selection of front pages of The Onion dating from January 1, 1900, to January 1, 2000. What better way for a lover of history like myself to chronicle our country, but with satirical headlines from The Onion.
I’ll be starting with the edition dated January 1, 1900. It’s the start of a new century and the headlines are crazy funny and thick with satire.
A NEW CENTURY DAWNS
MCKINLEY USHERS IN BOLD NEW COAL AGE
NATIONS SKIES FILLED WITH BEAUTIFUL, BLACK SMOKE
OUR NATIONS FORESTS MUST BE MINED FOR COAL
WILL MAN-MADE GRIME REACH THE VAULTS OF HEAVEN?
DEATH BY CORSET RATES STABILIZE AT ONE IN SIX
GROWING USE OF DR. SCHEIDT’S PATENTED SAFETY CORSET
AFRICAN SAVAGES TAUGHT WAYS OF CHRIST BY KINDLY BRITISH
BRITISH MISSIONARIES ARE SPREADING CHRISTIAN WISDOM
I’m reasonably sure that the powers-that-be at the time were thrilled with these satirical headlines. Who doesn’t love the freedom of the press and their ability to make politicians and governments in general wet themselves? Thanks goes out to The Onion for making the information available for me to play with.
I’m about to do something I don’t normally do. That is to distribute information received from what might be considered a disgruntled and unhappy reader. A while ago I received an e-mail from this reader accusing me of being a neoconservative Neanderthal because he disagreed with me on some of my comments concerning political correctness running amok. I can’t argue the Neanderthal crack, but I’m no neoconservative, nor am I an independent, Republican or Democrat. I’m just a regular guy who believes in the spirit of fairness and freedom of speech. With that in mind here’s the list he emailed me (tongue-in-cheek, I hope) of politically correct terminology I should be using. If he truly used any of these nonsensical terms, he is no doubt a friendless New Age moron. Oh, sorry if I’m being too harsh. What can you expect from an effing Neanderthal? Here they are, I hope you enjoy them as much as I didn’t.
HOW TO SPEAK ABOUT MAN AND BE POLITICALLY CORRECT
He does not have a BEER GUT – he has developed a LIQUID GRAIN STORAGE FACILITY.
He is not a BAD DANCER – he is OVERLY CAUCASIAN.
He does not GET LOST ALL THE TIME – he INVESTIGATES ALTERNATIVE DESTINATIONS.
He is not BALDING – he is in FOLLICLE REGRESSION.
He is not a CRADLE ROBBER – he prefers GENERATIONALLY DIFFERENTIAL RELATIONSHIPS.
He does not get FALLING DOWN DRUNK – he becomes ACCIDENTALLY HORIZONTAL.
He does not ACT LIKE A TOTAL ASS – he develops a case of RECTAL CRANIAL INVERSION.
He is not a MALE CHAUVINIST PIG – he has SWINE EMPATHY.
He is not AFRAID OF COMMITTMENT – he is MONOGAMOUSLY CHALLENGED.
HOW TO SPEAK ABOUT WOMEN AND BE POLITICALLY CORRECT
She is not a BABE OR A CHICK – she is a BREASTED AMERICAN.
She is not a SCREAMER OR MOANER – she is VOCALLY APPRECIATIVE.
She is not EASY – she is HORIZONTALLY ACCESSIBLE.
She is not DUMB – she is ON A DETOUR OFF THE INFORMATION SUPERHIGHWAY.
She has not BEEN AROUND – she is a PREVIOUSLY ENJOYED COMPANION.
She is not an AIRHEAD – she is REALITY IMPAIRED.
She does not get DRUNK OR TIPSY – she gets CHEMICALLY INCONVENIENCED.
She is not HORNY – she is SEXUALLY FOCUSED.
She does not have BREAST IMPLANTS – she is PHYSICALLY ENHANCED.
She does not NAG YOU – she becomes OVERLY REPETITIVE.
She is not a SLUT – she is SEXUALLY EXTROVERTED.
She does not have MAJOR LEAGUE HOOTERS – she is PECTORALLY SUPERIOR.
She is not a TWO BIT WHORE – she is a LOW-COST PROVIDER.
Well, there you have it. A collection of foolish politically correct nonsense from a A-hole Millennial before he knew he was one. Hard to believe he actually spent time compiling this crap although he probably just got it from one of his Millennial buddies. Standing up for free speech can sometimes get you stuck doing something like this. I do apologize.
Since posting the real letters of a real Pilgrim yesterday I thought I’d covered the holiday rather well. Today I did a little net surfing and made the mistake of reading the Wikipedia entry on the history of Thanksgiving. It irritates me a little when they spend so much time telling me about some meaningless conflict over where Thanksgiving originated. In their opinion 36 colonists arriving in Virginia in 1619 gave thanks that they survived the crossing and years later it was claimed by some Virginians as the birth place of Thanksgiving. I just don’t see that as the real Thanksgiving. Did they celebrate with the native Americans? Who knows? Did any of them survive that first winter? Who knows? Maybe in 1000 A.D. Leif Ericson and a few Vikings landed in northern Maine and were thankful for not running out of food and water. Was that the real Thanksgiving? Now that I think about it, how about Ponce de Leon. He landed in Florida in late March of 1513, near present-day St. Augustine. He claimed this beautiful land for Spain and I’m sure he gave thanks for surviving his arrival. Then we must of course celebrate Thanksgiving as a Spanish holiday in March. Really, I think I’d prefer to celebrate that Viking holiday in Maine as the real one compared something Spanish. These kinds of arguments are all so much hogwash and an entire waste of everyone’s time.
I wasn’t planning a rant against Wikipedia but once again I want it understood I’m skeptical of a lot of their information, but that’s just my humble opinion.
Why I’m even bothering to rant is the real question. Well, I once lived in Kingston, Massachusetts, just a few short miles from where the Mayflower is berthed in Plymouth harbor. A few of my friends were actual descendants of the Wampanoag Indian tribe who assisted the Pilgrims back in the day. I was lucky enough to hear from them about their version of Thanksgiving. I’ve visited the Plimouth Plantation on many occasions and once even ate Thanksgiving dinner there with some family and friends. Screw Wikipedia and their politically correct nonsense.
The traditional celebration is one of the few holidays left that has actual meaning for me. I just can’t allow that tradition to be watered down with a lot of political nonsense. Enjoy your holiday with your friends and family. Give thanks for every good thing you can think of. Have a great meal and a pleasant day and hug your kids.
Just as a side note. I won’t be posting tomorrow because I’ll be doing all of those things myself.
I’m a reader of just about any printed material. I enjoy fiction, nonfiction, and anything else I can get my hands on. By far my favorite genre is science fiction and I’ve been reading it religiously since the age of nine. I love it for a number of reasons but primarily because of its ability to foretell the future. So many things included in the oldest sci-fi stories have eventually become part of our reality i.e. lasers, satellites, cell phones, and space travel. I then asked myself the question, if sci-fi writers have the ability to see the future so clearly, why not others. The novel 1984 is considered sci-fi by some but to me it’s just social commentary taken to extremes. But . . . could it be prophetic as well?
I look at the direction of our country today. It’s slowly sliding toward socialism with people like LBJ, Jimmy Carter, Barack Obama, Bill Clinton, and Joe Biden insinuating their kind of changes into every facet of our lives. In Orwell’s future, the Party is everything and only our service to the Party has any value. Sounds vaguely familiar doesn’t it?
Orwell rewrote the language into something called Newspeak. Changing words to reflect new meanings such as terms like Head Start, Hope and Lifetime Learning Credits, Peace Corp., Americorp and of course Welfare. Newspeak allowed the Party to suddenly change the perception of something just by making the name more palatable. The “proles” weren’t smart enough to figure that out. Are we?
BIG BROTHER IS WATCHING was the mantra of the “proles” in Orwell’s novel. The “proles” were the regular citizens excluded from the upper echelon of society and needed to be strictly controlled. Could the NSA be the new “Big Brother”? Could Homeland Security be the new “Thought Police”? You tell me.
Mentioned throughout Orwell’s novel are the following three terms:
WAR IS PEACE – Doesn’t this clearly describe our current approach to the rest of the world or not?
FREEDOM IS SLAVERY – Does corroding our civil rights and freedoms under the guise of security explain this?
IGNORANCE IS STRENGTH – When government transparency becomes just some phony “politically correct” term, does that explain this?
Orwell’s” Ministry of Truth” comes alive when you read this description:
“There were the huge print shops with their sub-editors, their typography experts, and their elaborately equipped studios for the faking of photographs. There was the tele-programs section with its engineers, its producers, and its teams of actors specially chosen for their skill in imitating voices.” – Sounds a lot like the Main Stream Media and “Fake News” to me.
I could continue these comparisons all day long. Orwell had the Thought Police and the Ministry of Truth and we have the Criminal Justice System. The comparisons were striking to me but will easily be shrugged off by our current government as a gross exaggeration of an old and antiquated novel. Just like the lasers and communication satellites were written about in the 1940s, at the time they were also considered a gross exaggeration. I’ve made my decision on where I think were headed as a country and a society. I’m not saying it’s a certainty but it could become our reality very easily and very quickly.
I’ll admit one thing of Orwell’s that does not translate to our current generation is the “Ministry of Love”. He thought his “Big Brother” government should mandate copulation and childbirth as a service to the Party as a means of keeping the population levels growing. I’m sure he never anticipated a government assisted by the courts that would permit the wholesale slaughter of unborn children just to maintain the status quo and keep citizens voting a certain way.
Welcome to the Every Useless Thing discussion on up-and-coming younger generations. It’s obvious that the older generations are responsible for the various nicknames to the younger generations i.e. Greatest Generation, Silent Generation, Baby Boomers, Gen X, Gen Y (Millennials), Gen Z, and the internet generation. Of course they never name themselves because that’s the job of the next generation to take care of. It’s all so silly. That’s why a history lesson is in order. Here we go . . .
I remember as a child being told by my parents that the younger generation (including me) were screwed up, uncaring, and unthinking. I took great offense to that and it just motivated me to rebel at every opportunity much to their chagrin. Jump ahead thirty-five years and I actually heard myself saying the same kinds of things during one of my angry moments in dealing with my son. Soon after that conversation I was having a coffee at a local café (pre-pandemic) and I just started chuckling to myself. The more I thought about the conversation with my son the funnier it became because it’s not often I’m able to recognize an epiphany when I have one.
I read quite a bit and the diversity of my subject matter is what makes it so much fun. The following quotation was in a recent book I read and as soon as I saw it I began chuckling again. Even 5000 years ago the adults were saying the same damn things about their younger generations and it keeps me optimistic about the generations to come. Also having a close relationship with a few of the younger generation keeps me on my toes and aware of their thoughts, ideas, and approaches to us grown-ups. Broad brushing a group of individuals is foolish and should be avoided at all costs.
A tablet from ancient Assyria, from about 2800 B.C., has been found that states: “Our earth is degenerate in these latter days. There are signs that the world is speedily coming to an end. Bribery and corruption are common.”
More than 2000 years later, Socrates complained, “Children are now tyrants . . .They no longer rise when elders enter the room. They contradict their parents, chatter before company, gobble up dainties at the table, cross their legs, and tyrannize over their teachers.”
And Plato also wrote of his students: ” What is happening to our young people? They riot in the streets inflamed with wild notions, their morals are decaying, what is to become of them?”
If reading that doesn’t make you chuckle just a little then you’ve got a problem. It gives me a great deal of comfort to think that the grown-ups then were moaning and complaining just like we do now and how the next generation will be moaning and complaining about us.
everyuselessthing.com 