I sometimes think that the human race is just plain nuts. Not every individual person but a huge majority of us. It seems we can’t have three people talking together for more than a few minutes before information is exchanged concerning other people’s odd beliefs or some of the more universal conspiracy theories.
I like a good conspiracy as well as the next person but in my heart of hearts I still think that almost all of them are stupid and ridiculous. My theory is that the more leisure time people have the more of these stupid theories seem to appear. It’s not just the good old standbys like the Kennedy assassination, the fake moon landing, or 9/11. We seem to have a perverse need for a never ending supply of this nonsense so we have something to talk and bitch about. Big Labor, Big Wall Street, Big Business, and Big Drug Companies seem to prompt conspiracy theories directly in proportion to the frequency which politicians preach to us about the inequities between rich and poor in this country. Blame it on somebody who is not them.
It astounds me that so many educated people will immediately buy into some of the strangest premises without attempting to verify anything. Many of the silliest conspiracies are constantly being promoted my members of academia at all education levels. Many of them seem to think that every thought that comes into their head is the gospel truth and can’t be disputed. They then subtly pass their silly beliefs to the children they’re responsible for educating giving the ideas a bizarre sort of immortality. It keeps them alive as each new class of students is indoctrinated anew.
Let me list a few more for you; technology conspiracies with implanted chips and mind control, the hidden agenda behind the HIV virus, global surveillance, the New World Order, and the many and varied religious conspiracies which are too numerous to mention. Roswell and the UFO cover-up are right up there too with any and all assassinations i..e. JFK, MLK, John Lennon, and a host of others. Almost anything the Government touches immediately becomes a hidden agenda or conspiracy. This is probably a good thing because it keeps us on the alert for government abuses both real and imagined.
Be aware of what you are doing as well. How often do your conversations with others deal with conspiracies or imagined abuses by almost every organization you can think of. I began keeping track of my own conversations and I was amazed how quickly and how often I fell into the conspiracy trap. In my humble opinion we are nuts. Human beings have great imaginations but if not properly focused they lead us into strange, weird, and dark places. Will it ever stop? Not a chance or a prayer.
I hesitate to get into this subject since it’s not something I’ve ever been very good at. I’d like to talk about texting in general and also about sexting in particular. To me they’re similar enough to discuss as one topic since both seem to be the "thing to do" these days.
I’m someone who lives for technology in most things and I work very hard to stay on top of the latest and greatest trends. Some things like sexting and texting just never really appealed to me because I’ve always been more of a hands-on kind of guy when it comes to the opposite sex. It’s my belief that if you want someone to respond sexually to you, you do it in person. Why is it necessary to text at all? Put me on speed dial and hit the damn button if you have something to say, especially if it’s something erotic. Hearing the words spoken by someone who I desire is way more erotic than a text message that could be sent by damn near anyone.
I understand that texting and sexting are all the rage with many of the younger generation because it’s so much easier to say outrageous and erotic things on a computer. Young women can get as crazy as they want, say anything they want, and all too often send pictures and videos thinking it’s safe and won’t easily get distributed. Sorry girls but just think about it. You sext your heart out to someone you think you love and want to be with. Two weeks later the magic has disappeared and he walks away after sending your photo’s, videos, and sext messages to all of his friends. Nothing on the net can be totally controlled no matter how hard you try. You should never forget that, ever!
As I was recently surfing around the net I discovered a few sites giving advice on how to talk dirty with sexting. I won’t link to them from this blog but if your really that interested just look around a little, they’re everywhere. This first list is suggested sexts from men to women.
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"Passed the lingerie shop, and thought of you."
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"Are you wet in the right places?"
"I need to feel you."
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"When I think of you, everything gets harder."
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"What are you wearing under your clothes."
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"Are you ready for some ecstasy?"
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"My hands feel empty without your breasts."
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"I want to be inside you."
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"You need a tongue bath."
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"Meet at the door naked."
Tell me ladies, do these really do anything for you? I find them just a little lame and would be more than a little embarrassed sending them to anyone. Now lets check out a few examples of some suggested sexts sent by women to men.
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“I’m imagining you all over my body.”
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“My clothes feel so uncomfortable right now, come and help me get out of them.”
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“I can’t stop thinking about what you’re going to do to me tonight.”
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“Does it make you hard to imagine me standing naked.”
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“I’m dying to please you tonight.”
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“I want you in my mouth.”
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“I’m so horny, do you want me to keep myself warm until I can see you.”
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“I want to stroke you all the way to heaven.”
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Does it turn you on knowing that I wrote this txt with one hand because my other is busy.”
I’m sorry but if these were sent to me by any woman I’d be a little amused but far from aroused. A number of years ago when texting and sexting first arrived on the scene I met and dated a young lady who was truly addicted to sexting. She drove me crazy with dozens of messages all day long and the harder I tried to tell her it wasn’t my thing the more persistent she became. I then told her that I was too cheap and refused to spend my hard earned money just to receive unlimited sexts from anyone. On our next date she gave me an unexpected gift, a new cell phone. She demanded that I carry that cell phone which was set up for unlimited texts and that I respond to her sext messages with some good dirty talk of my own. Shortly after that she sent me her first few nude photo’s which helped me to decide to break things off. I returned her telephone unused and disappeared from her life. Just not interested.
Here are a few additional stats I found interesting but a little scary. Our friends over at Harlequin Publishing ran a survey of their readers with the following troublesome results:
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43% of women talk dirty through texts.
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Two-thirds of that 43% said they’d only send racy messages while in a serious relationship, while 35% only needed a few dates before they’re ready to start sexting.
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27% of women admitted to sending nude pictures via email or text messages.
Well there you have it. It appears that this sort of interaction is here to stay in one form or another. That doesn’t change anything for me though. I’ll always prefer to hear my soulmate whispering softly to me on the telephone as she’s speeding home to be with me.
I wish all of you ladies the best of luck. It’s a dangerous world out there so please be careful with what your sending onto the net. I’m reasonably sure I’ll eventually be reading some of what you’ve sexted to your lovers if you continue putting it out there. There’s one thing we all should know by now, once something is on the net it’s there forever.
I think I’m finally returning to my calm and normal self after the last two days of whining and complaining about every useless thing that was bothering me. It appeared to be a combination of finally finishing a difficult job I’d worried about for many weeks and the normal let down after the fact. Leave it up to my better-half to figure out a perfect solution.
She returned home from work in early afternoon and immediately advised me to clean up because we we going out for a Dutch Treat dinner. How could I possibly complain about that? Regardless of what you might think I clean up pretty good and it wasn’t long before I was ready for my night on the town. My chauffeur pulled up in her car and off we went.
We have a number of restaurants we frequent but for me it’s all about the food. If the food is good I can eat it sitting in the middle of a junk yard and still be happy. I worked for many years throughout the south and became hooked on that good old down home southern food that their so famous for. Catfish, collard greens, black eyed peas, somehow climbed to the top of my favorite foods list. No matter what northern restaurant chains claim their attempts to cook authentic southern cuisine is usually pitiful.
My all-time favorite southern dish is country fried chicken with that unbelievable white gravy and biscuits. One of our regular restaurants has a chef who must have been born down south and stolen his grandmother’s favorite recipes. That’s where my better-half planned our dinner and I wasn’t disappointed. The chicken was cooked perfectly and the biscuits and gravy were even better. Throw in a serving of coleslaw and a side of mashed red potatoes with just a hint or garlic and you’ve arrived in heaven. I pigged out and cleaned my plate like a freaking vacuum cleaner. I was fat and sassy as I downed an excellent gin and tonic to complete things.
My better-half was busy texting for few minutes and when she finished I was advised we’d be meeting some friends at another local establishment for a nightcap or two. She actually paid the bill, left a good tip, and we were off. We arrived at a place that is part sports bar, part restaurant, and part beach hangout in the summer. They were so busy it seemed a little like a hot summer evening with the place packed with beach people. I said that jokingly because it’s really April in Maine and cold as hell. Our friends arrived just as we finally were seated in our booth and we had a few drinks and a lot of laughs. My sober designated driver delivered me safely home at a reasonable hour to end a perfect night.
The night didn’t last much longer because the better-half had a 4am wake-up call. Fortunately she has a vacation week scheduled next week due to the anticipated arrival or her oldest son from LA. He’s in for a three day visit and that should keep her hopping and occupied for the entire week. Since next week is sure to a hectic one I plan on enjoying this weekend as much as humanly possible.
It’s been twelve hours since that great meal and I’m still tasting those garlic potatoes. Can’t wait to do it again.
Can you quickly name twenty-five things you love? Are you a hater? Can you immediately name twenty-five things you hate? We as human beings seem to have the ability to quickly list those things that adversely effect us and to verbalize them loudly to anyone nearby.
On my shopping safari yesterday I found myself rubbing elbows with the normal everyday human insanity to which we’ve all become accustomed. I visited a few businesses in the area and as always was pretty much forced into listening to my fellow men and women bitching about almost everything. I’m only mentioning it because it became painfully obvious very quickly that an infection of some sort was in the air and effecting everyone including me.
I first visited my favorite book store to make a few purchases, check out some new authors, and people watch, of course. I was in a great mood and anticipated a quiet restful visit. This is a very small store and when new arrivals show up they’re easy to spot. A woman arrived in a rather expensive Audi, dressed very well, and with a walk that showed a lot of attitude. She was in her fifties, fairly attractive, and well maintained, if you get my drift. She wasn’t in the door more than three steps when she began talking at, not to, the proprietor. That poor SOB was manning the register near the door and couldn’t escape. This well-to-do looking woman began complaining about a book she purchased a week ago and didn’t really like and wanted a cash refund. I think the term I’m looking for is "a bitch on wheels". She pissed and moaned about a three dollar refund for so long I was tempted to give her the money just so she would go away. Thankfully neither the manager nor I gave her that refund and as she marched out the door we both breathed a sigh of relief. She must have a real fashion sense though. It’s can’t be easy to hide such a huge set of balls in such a tight dress.
I then made a short drive to a nearby Wal-Green store where I was forced to stand in line behind two young ladies in their twenties. We were in that line for maybe ten minutes but OMG it seemed much longer. These young ladies were the queens of public trash talking. Friends and foes alike couldn’t escape their wrath. To quote, "that bitch was all over him last night, what a slut", "I hear he uses so many drugs he can barely function (wink, wink) and finally a few choice words about someone who is their BFF and who threw up all over the side of her car. I walked away really glad they didn’t consider me a friend.
As my safari continued I made my way to the Hannaford food store. I like shopping there because I can quickly use the self-checkout and be in and out quickly. As usual I got in the checkout line behind the wrong effing guy. I swear there could be twenty registers open and I would still manage to get behind that one customer with some huge problem or issue. Today was no different. I had about twelve items and planned on being checked out and gone in just a few short minutes but no way, Jose!
As I walked up to the self-checkout there was a guy just standing in front of the device with a dead stare and a blank look of real confusion on his face. He apparently was new to self-checkouts, couldn’t figure it out, and the longer he waited the more pissed off he became. For the next ten minutes he invited a cashier, a Front-End Manager, and finally the Store’s General Manger to help him. I was proud of myself because I just wanted to scream a few obscenities at him and loudly identify him to everyone in the area as the dumbass that he was. He was loud, obnoxious, rude, stupid, ignorant, and wouldn’t stop complaining. He actually looked over and gave me a dirty look like I was part of his problem. Those poor managers really earned their pay dealing with this schnook. I finally was able to go on my way fifteen minutes later and was glad I hadn’t parked anywhere near that A-hole. He was still standing in the parking lot as I drove away bitching to anyone who would listen.
I’d planned to stop at a couple of other places but what was the point. I was caught up in a local shit storm of complaining and unhappy people and had to get away as fast as possible. As you can tell by reading this I didn’t get away quickly enough and was also infected. I immediately went home and sat quietly for a while to compose myself and to let the infection run it’s course.
People are just so much fun it’s just a real pleasure to be around them. (sarcasm off)
I’m celebrating a little today because finally the freaking drywall job has been completed. If I never see another sheet of the damn stuff again it will be too soon. I estimate about an hour of sanding and smoothing before we can do a whole-house cleanup which could take a very long time. That insidious white dust can be found in every room of the house even though I took great pains to control it. Some things just can’t be avoided I guess. The mere fact that I’m actually looking forward to doing the priming and painting should tell you how much I won’t be missing drywall. DONE AND DONE!
Other than the remodel things have been very quiet around the house of late. My better-half’s been working a couple of weeks of some really weird shifts making our time together somewhat limited. The grand child has brought an illness home from daycare and their entire family has been sick for more than a week. I’ve been pretty much left alone except for the cat who is also not too happy about the lack of attention.
Today was first day in a while when I didn’t have to get up early and work on the remodel. A day where I could sleep in and lounge around and even get out of the house to run a few errands. Why did I ever think that things would happen as I’d hoped. The better-half left early for work and it wasn’t long before I wished she’d taken that damn cat with her.
The feline nagging started immediately since she left without feeding him. He was unhappy and made sure I was too. He walked slowly around the bed meowing at the top of his lungs until I brained him with a pillow. Just as I was getting back to sleep he started his old routine of jumping on the bed, walking all over my body, meowing loudly, and then running away before I could grab another pillow. He repeated this at least eight times before I found myself wide awake and none too happy. Once he realized I was awake he disappeared from the bedroom and planted his furry little ass next to his food dish and just waited. I made my way to the kitchen, fed the little bastard, cursed at him a few times and went back to bed.
Now I’m lying here writing this because I couldn’t get back to sleep. Does the term "urge to kill" come to mind? I think a few hours away from this place will allow me to clear my head a little and keep me from drop kicking the cat into next week. The older he gets the more like my ex-wife he’s becoming.
This appears to be the beginning of what I fear could become a very bad day. I think a few cups of really strong and tasty coffee just might do the trick to turn that around. I’m willing to try just about anything to improve my day before the better-half returns from work. The last thing we need is to have is a stupid argument instigated by the cat.
I think a quick trip to the discount book store might help. I can calm myself with an hour of browsing through the racks to find a few interesting mysteries I haven’t read before. This has been one helluva winter. I been reading two books a week all winter but with the weather finally breaking that should slow down a bit. I find myself actually looking forward to starting the yard work and preparing this years garden.
I’m out the door searching for a better day.
It’s time once again for this blog to live up to it’s name. Another installment of totally useless information collected during a global search for just about anything that’s even a little bit interesting. I feel that everyone should have a few trivia items that aren’t commonly known to help amaze their friends and possibly win a bar bet or two. Spring is arriving and we need to lighten things up a little so here we go.
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The average housewife walks 10 miles a day around the house doing chores. She walks 4 miles and spends 25 hours a year making beds.
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President James Garfield could write Latin with one hand and Greek with the other—simultaneously! Leonardo da Vinci could draw with one hand and write with the other, also simultaneously.
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Attila the Hun was a dwarf. Pepin the Short, Aesop, Gregory of Tours, Charles III of Naples, and the Pasha Hussain were all less than 3 and a half feet tall.
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Edgar Allan Poe and James Abbott McNeill Whistler both went to West Point.
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The Amazon River discharges 4.2 million cubic feet of water per second in the Atlantic Ocean.
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A rat can go without water longer than a camel can.
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Mr. Potato Head was the first toy advertised on television.
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An elephant may consume 500 pounds of hay and 60 gallons of water in a single day.
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Malaria mosquitos are attracted to ripe Limburger cheese and smelly feet.
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A fetus acquires fingerprints by the end of the first trimester.
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One million stray dogs and 500,000 stray cats live in New York City metropolitan area. There are about 100 million dogs and cats in the United States. Americans spend more than 5.5 billion on their pets each year. Every hour, 12,500 puppies are born in the US.
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In 2003, the personal fortune of writer J. K. Rowling of Harry Potter fame, surpassed that of the Queen of England.
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A 2005 survey by CareerBuilder.com, 43% of Americans called in sick when there was nothing wrong with them.
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The venom of the king cobra is so deadly that one gram of it can kill 150 people. Just to handle the substance can put one in coma.
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A whale’s heart beats only nine times a minute.
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A good milking cow will give nearly 6,000 quarts of milk every year.
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Under the Federal Food, Drug, and Cosmetic Act, leeches and maggots are categorized as medical devices.
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Male moose have antlers 7 feet across. The antlers often weigh 60 pounds.
You should be feeling extra smart right about now. Knowing these fact puts you in a category all your own. I didn’t say it was a good category but you’re definitely in it. You’re now an official trivia nerd and I guess congratulations are in order.
Are you prepared for April Fools Day? It’s another one of those waste-of-time observances that the United States has become so famous for. I love practical jokes as well as the next guy but anyone who’s fooled on April Fool’s Day isn’t too bright. If I wanted to truly prank someone it would be unannounced and unexpected but that’s just me.
I have to admit there is one observance I’ve discovered for April 1st that I could possibly get onboard with. St. Stupid’s Day has been celebrated for thirty five years this year in the most appropriate place you could imagine, San Francisco. The ‘City By the Bay’ is well known for some of the most ridiculous stunts and political decisions ever. This also includes it’s intimate relationship with the country’s most ridiculous political family, Jerry Brown Sr. and Jerry Brown Jr. or Governor Moonbeam to his friends.
San Francisco is well know for it’s far left approach to almost everything and just when you thought you’ve heard and seen it all, they come up with something even more absurd. The left coast (well named) has over the years been the cause of much laughter and ridicule brought on by their approach to almost everything. Here’s a short blurb with a few facts about their St. Stupid Day celebrations.
The Saint Stupid’s Day Parade is an annual parade that takes place in San Francisco on April 1st. The somewhat anarchistic parade was founded by Ed Holmes (aka Bishop Joey of the First Church of the Last Laugh) in the late 1970s. If April 1st falls on a weekday, the parade starts at the foot of Market Street and follows a well established route through the financial district. If April 1st falls on a weekend, the parade starts at the Transamerica Pyramid, proceeds up Columbus Street and ends at Washington Square. The parade begins promptly at noon. Participation in the parade is open to the public and silly costumes are encouraged.
The following list of headlines were obtained from recent articles found in the San Francisco area newspapers. Just reading them will tell you all you need to know about why St. Stupid’s Day belongs in California and San Francisco in particular.
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Public Sex Exposed This Woman’s Worker’s Comp Fraud
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Taxidermist Puts Stuffed Animals In Silly Outfits
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Thugs Throw Milkshake In Woman’s Face, She Throws $2,000 Back
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This Is A Fork Used To Eat Human Flesh
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San Francisco City Official Consults Ouija Board Before Vote
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This Vibrator From 1906 Could Have Been In Your Great-Grandmother
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First Surrogate Otter Mom Dies
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He’s A 36-Year-Old Virgin Who’s Fathered 14 Kids
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Top 10 Haunted Houses In America
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Muppet-Themed Bar Opens In San Francisco
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A Picnic Table Bigger Than A Football Field Assembled In 30 Seconds
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Do You Love Nature? Take The Next Step — Go ‘Ecosexual’
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Gay Softball League Limit On Straight Players OK’d
Need I say more? I don’t think so. So wake up bright and early tomorrow and be prepared to act even more stupid than usual. Unfortunately I’m reasonably sure the parade won’t be televised, sorry!
I hope your Easter celebration went well. I usually don’t celebrate Easter since I’m not much of a believer. If you don’t celebrate it religiously what remains is kind of ridiculous. Rabbits, colored eggs, egg hunts, and all the other nonsense tend to make me a little crazy. My better-half loves to celebrate Easter and regardless of my feelings she goes a little overboard (big surprise) every year.
I was ordered to sleep in today because, hoo-ray hoo-ray, she had a day off. I was told in no uncertain terms that we’d be sleeping in as long as possible to start our day. I was certainly okay with that. I offered to make her breakfast in bed but she declined and then directed me to get dressed so we could get out of the house and spend a part of the day in the sunshine. That sounded good too so I did. We finally rolled out of bed and what do I find waiting for me but an Easter basket with enough candy stuffed into it to feed a large family. As usual I had nothing for her because I’m what you might call an Anti-Easter person. She wanted to celebrate the holiday and I was making sure we celebrated her day off as well.
She began preparations for our Easter breakfast which I immediately put a stop to. I told her to get dressed because we were first going out for breakfast and then to the beach. We drove along the ocean to Old Orchard Beach and stopped for breakfast at one of our favorite spots and it was terrific. We had a window seat and were able to watch everyone as they arrived in town to walk the beach with their families and pets. It was obvious that everyone was more than ready for the long winter to finally be over.
The breakfast was excellent and the place was crowded with people enjoying their Easter Sunday. We stopped back at the car, grabbed our cameras, and hit the beach. When I say everyone was out I wasn’t kidding. People, kids, dogs, and even a couple of horses were sunbathing and some were even crazy enough to walk in the freezing surf. It was just wonderful. We stayed for a hour or two after taking some really cool photographs of our day.
After returning home we just spent some quiet time together and then made the obligatory telephone calls to family and friends. The sun was still shining so we brought the grill out of storage and reinstalled it back on the deck. I marinated and grilled two gorgeous steaks while she prepared a couple of salads and baked potatoes. The food was delicious and when we finished eating we cleaned up the mess and plopped on the couch to relax.
It wasn’t long before she began to yawn and I knew her day was almost over since she had to be up early for work. She was happy and contented and obviously enjoyed her Easter celebration a great deal. I as always was grateful for our time together which is precious to me.
It was a great day and the perfect way to start our changeover from Winter to Spring. I hope your day was even better than ours.
Have you ever had a song stuck in your head? Over the years I’ve listened to hundreds of thousands of songs without any problems whatsoever. I’ve listened to Jazz, Pop, Hard Rock, and yes even Opera. I’ve avoided when possible Hip-Hop, Rap, and the old style Country and Western songs because I just don’t care for them. There are a few exceptions to that list of course but not many.
I live with my better-half who is obsessed with music, singing, dancing, and humming songs almost constantly. It can be really annoying if you ever crave absolute peace and quiet like I do at times. Every once in a while as I’m listening to music I also find myself unable to disconnect completely. It’s maddening because I find it interfering with my everyday activities. I’ve been in conversations with people and as I’m listening to them speak I begin to hum to myself and I can hear the lyrics in my head very clearly. Then I begin to tap my toe to the music and then suffer from the almost uncontrollable urge to dance. It takes all of my will power not do anything stupid and embarrass myself. This has occurred in the past not just in casual conversations but important business conversations as well.
My mother passed away last year and as I was sitting in the church with my sister listening to the priest drone on and on I had the song "What a Man" by Salt and Pepa echoing through my head. Why? I have no freaking idea but it was actually better than listening to that priest and thinking about my mom’s passing.
On one occasion I was driving to Pittsburgh to visit family which is eleven hours of sheer boredom. For a large part of the trip through Pennsylvania there is little or no acceptable radio stations to listen to. Unfortunately I also forgot my IPod and was limited to one CD I found under my seat. For the rest of that trip and for the next week the song, "Higher Love" by Steve Winwood drove me freaking crazy.
When I’m cooking I find myself humming and occasionally singing various songs by Luciano Pavarotti in Italian no less. How weird is that? I love opera but it’s not something I want to hear over and over again.
This problem isn’t limited to good music but also to really bad songs and a few truly annoying television commercial theme songs. The theme songs are the absolute worst. Lately it’s been that stupid commercial with the Korean version of Richard Simmons singing some stupid song that I don’t even understand while he hops around the screen in a pukey green sport coat with a bunch of pistachios. I ‘d look up the name of the song for you but what’s the point, I hate that stupid song.
I think the worst part of this problem is that once I capture a song in my head, it’s there forever. I have quite a long list of tunes that show up unannounced at the weirdest times to entertain me. I may be forced to involve myself with some sort of meditation program that will allow me to sit quietly and purge my mind of all this nonsense. Maybe I’ll become a Buddhist monk where I can spend my time in quiet self-reflection in an attempt to make these evil music demons go away.
As I’ve been writing this I’ve been humming "Three Time a Lady" by Lionel Richey. Someone please help me!
I have a few things that really bother me. I’m sure you do as well just like everyone else. I try not to let them make me too crazy but there are times I could just scream. Nothing really too earth shattering but just a number of little things that nag at me when I have time to sit and think about them. See if you agree.
Vegans – Why do certain people think that refusing to eat meat or fish makes them special. To be a true vegetarian and to stay healthy requires taking vitamin supplements. I love veggies as much as the next guy but only a fool could believe all the hype we’re constantly hearing. Get a clue people. Human beings are classified as omnivores for a reason. We’ve developed to the top of the food chain because of our ability to survive and flourish by eating a variety of both meats and vegetables. Extremes of any kind tend to be a problem for me and this is the perfect example. Oh yeah one more thing, if you’ve ever spent any time at all around Vegans you know their farts are the worst. Eat a burger stinky.
Organic food – This may be the biggest scam going. Slapping an organic label on just about anything gives companies the right to increase prices by at least thirty percent. I’m enough of a skeptic to believe that no checking is really done to verify those claims. Maybe in the future when I make homemade salsa, pickles, apple butter, and other products I’ll label them as organic. It wouldn’t be totally true but who cares. It’s all about making certain people feel like their eating healthy and making them pay for the privilege.
Pre-owned Cars – This is politically correct BS that just makes me crazy. Truth in advertising be damned. A freaking used car is a freaking used car. It’s not pre-owned or anything else. I suspect that once used cars became pre-owned the price just may have suddenly increased overnight. I’d like to meet the fast talking used car salesman that came up with that idea. He should be arrested and then beaten severely about the head and shoulders.
Decaf Coffee – I watched a middle aged and reasonably intelligent looking guy order a decaf coffee at a local donut shop recently and then watched the cashier write on the cup "Decaf". He immediately told the cashier to add a turbo shot of expresso to it as well. He must be married to a woman who requires him to drink only decaf coffee which will help him live fifteen minutes longer. He takes this approach so he can show her the cup to verify his purchase of decaf. If people realized how most decaf coffee was made they’d never drink it again. If you’re going to drink decaf, why bother drinking coffee at all.
Jehovah Witnesses – I’m not religious and having these folks show up unannounced and uninvited on my door step just pisses me off. For years I’d just tell them to go away and stop bothering me. Then I wised up and decided to play along with their routine. On one occasion I was dressed only in a pair of shorts on one hot summer afternoon. A young man and a young woman showed up and I cordially invited them in. As I sat there half naked listening to a few minutes of their bible readings I then went into my routine. I began asking them for all kinds of sexual advice since I was having serious problems with both my wife and my mistress. They were gone within minutes and I was never visited again while I lived there. It was fun too!
Push Up Bras – Let me qualify this one a little. I love shapely women or should I say I’ve loved shapely women but the trend these days with push-up bras is out of control. The last thing I need to see is a fourteen year old teenage girl who has yet to develop hips running around with what little boobs she has pushed up until they’re damn near rubbing on her chin. Just as bad are the adult women who shall we say are well endowed to start with but then wear a push-up bra to make it creepy and nasty looking. Stop the madness girls. Being a bit more subtle is way more sexier than what we’re seeing now.
These are just a few of the things that make me a little crazy. I’ll bet anything that if you’re honest with yourself your list is much longer than mine. Does my whining help fix these issues, not a chance. I have to admit it makes me feel a whole lot better venting to you.
everyuselessthing.com 