I made a bulk purchase recently from an on-line book seller and received a random collection that I thought were interesting. In that pile was a book of limericks obviously written by or for children. I’m a big fan of limericks of all types and found these to be just plain fun. These are rated “G” and should make you grin a little.
After another week of computer problems, calls to software companies, and idiot non-English speaking customer service representatives, I finally have an 75% operational computer system. I’ve always loved working with computers but I came close this week to taking a sledge hammer to the whole damn setup. After I did that I would put a truly evil curse on every software company that has turned their customer service over to AI’s. I count my blessings that I can even complete this blog today but I will try. How about some meaningless sports trivia?
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MISSPELLED CUP
The Stanley Cup has two typos engraved on it. “BQSTON BRUINS, TORONTO MAPLE LEAES” and a number of misspelled players names as well.
The Olympics have been hosted by multiple countries that no longer exist: West Germany, Yugoslavia, and the USSR.
There is a minor league baseball team called the Montgomery Biscuits with a logo of a biscuit with bulging eyes and butter for a tongue.
A wok isn’t just a cooking implement but can also be a sled. So says the Wok World Championship group. Teams of players in modified woks race down bobsled tracks.
During the 1903 MLB season, pitcher Ed Doheny won 16 games and was then committed to an asylum for the “criminally Insane” where he remained for the rest of his life.
CAL RIPKEN
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Pete Rose was banned from baseball by MLB Commissioner A. Bartlett Giamatti.
Between 1982 and 1998 (16 years) Cal Ripken Jr. never missed a single Baltimore Orioles game.
Legend has it that Hall of Fame baseball player Wade Boggs once drank 107 beers in one day while traveling with the team.
NFL safety, Ronnie Lott, broke his pinky finger during a game. To avoid leaving the game he directed the team doctor to cut it off.
MLB Manager Alvin Dark once said, “There’ll be a man on the moon before pitcher, Gaylord Perry, ever hits a home run. Perry hit his first home run less than an hour after Neil Armstrong said his famous words.
I’ve been on a roll of late with a collection of weird and unusual trivia facts but I think today I’m taking it one step further. I like weird and strange! I’ve never denied it and I’ll prove once again by offering up more information that isn’t common knowledge. Humans are imaginative and creative and extremely strange at times. Here’s proof of that and I hope you enjoy it. Inventions of the WEIRD.
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The Motorized Ice Cream Cone: ( Patent issued in 1999)
Just push the handy on/off switch on the side of the cone and your ice cream will spin around and around, and all you have to do is stick out your tongue.
Pet Petter: (Patent issued in 1989)
If you don’t have the time to constantly coddle your pet, the Pet Petter does. An electric eye sees your pet and signals the electronic motors to start swinging a petting arm tipped with a humanlike hand.
Toilet Snorkel: (Patent issued in 1982)
In most fires, it’s the smoke that will get you, and a source of fresh air can be a lifesaver. So here it is – a way to snake a snorkel through the zigs and zags of your toilet, so you can brief underwater.
Motorcycle Airbag: (Patent issued in 1989)
An all-over body suit airbag designed to cushion the motorcyclist’s fall in an accident. Air is forcibly ejected from the bike, the suit swells from compressed gas. It covers the arms, legs, and torso, along with a soft landing.
Life Expectancy Watch: (Patent issued in 2002)
This invention counts backwards toward the date of your eventual demise. You program the watch by answering a series of questions about your lifestyle such as exercise, eating habits, and alcohol and tobacco use. Your remaining time is conveniently displayed in years.
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A FAVORITE FUN FACT
Thomas Edison filed 1,093 patents, including those for the light bulb, electric railways, and the movie camera. When he died in 1931, he held 34 patents for the telephone, 141 for batteries, 150 for the telegraph, and 389 patents for electric lights and power.
Todays post will be a little different from my normal trivia posts. Instead of a quiz I decided to just supply you with a few not-commonly-known trivia facts. I found them them to be fascinating and hope you will too.
In 1939, Rudolph the Red-Nosed reindeer was created by an Montgomery Ward advertising employee as part of his job.
Barbie’s (the doll) official real name is Barbara Millicent Roberts.
In 1884, P.T. Barnum once marched a herd of twenty-one elephants over the Brooklyn Bridge on it’s opening day to prove it was structurally sound.
In 1929, Armenian born Sarkis Colombosian created and produced yogurt in Methuen, Massachusetts.
In 1857, Joseph C. Gayetty invented modern day toilet paper.
The original McDonalds drive-in opened by brothers Maurice and Richard McDonald in 1948 made 10 hamburger patties per pound.
On July 28, 1933, the first singing telegram was delivered to Rudy Vallee on the occasion of his birthday.
Henry Ford kept the final breath of Thomas Edison in a bottle. It remains in the Ford Museum in Greenfield Village, Michigan.
The term “twofers” was created in 1892 to sell two-for-a-nickel cigars.
In 1908 in Germany, Melitta Bentz, first invented the coffee filter.
My Favorite
In June 1946, French engineer-designer Louis Reard
invented and introduced the bikini for the first time.
I thought a little sampling of limericks was in order for today. I’m normally cautious when posting limericks but today I’ll throw caution to the wind and just give you a taste of limericks from the 1920’s. It’s always fun to reminisce about the good old days and some of their limericks were outrageous and unpostable. I rate these PG-13 but you decide. I hope you enjoy them.
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There was a young man of Cape Horn Who wished he had never been born. And he wouldn’t have been If his father had seen At the end of the condom was torn.
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There was a young lady named Flo Whose lover had pulled out to slow. So they tried it all night Tilley got it just right Well, practice makes pregnant, you know.
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There was a young lady of Lout Who suddenly grew very stout. Her mother said, “Nellie, There’s more in your belly Then ever went in through your mouth.”
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My wife Myrtle’s womb has a habit Of expanding whenever I stab it. What’s more, my wife Myrtle Is so wondrously fertile, That she’s giving me kids like a rabbit.
I thought today I would add a few little known Science facts. With all of the space related science discussions of late I thought this would be a good time to join in. Enjoy!
In five years, a woman who wears lipstick will use enough to draw a line equal to her height.
Beards are the fastest growing hairs on the human body. If the average man never trimmed his beard, it would grow nearly 30 feet long in his lifetime.
A general rule of thumb for distinguishing fruits from vegetables: For fruits, seeds are on the inside; for vegetables, seeds are on the outside.
Tomatoes are native to the Americas and were initially cultivated by Aztec Indians as early as A.D. 700. They are also a common source of allergies.
The roller coaster was invented and patented in Ohio by a toboggan designer, John Miller in 1926. It featured small cars sliding down incline ramps.
The barcode was patented in 1952 by Joseph Woodland and Bernard Silver. In June of 1974, the first barcode scanner was installed at a Marshes supermarket in Troy, Ohio. The first product to carry a barcode was Wrigley’s gum.
IBM called its first laptop computer “The Convertible”. It was the size of a suitcase.
On April 12, 1934, the highest surface wind speed ever recorded occurred over Mount Washington, New Hampshire. It was clocked at 231 miles per hour.
The 400 mg of nicotine that an average pack-a-day smokers inhale in a week would instantly kill them if ingested in a single hour.
Six-year-olds laugh on average of 300 times a day.
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Here’s a favorite tongue twister that is considered the most difficult in the English language due to the complex brain and motor coordination it requires,
It’s been a miserable few days trying to get my systems back into operation. After four days I can finally return to the blog. It will probably take me another few weeks before things return to abnormal. This post will concern quotes from prominent people about politics. It seems to be all the rage nowadays so I decided to get on board with all of the other wackos. Here goes nothing . . .
My Quote of the Day
“Technology is a queer thing. It brings you
great gifts with one hand, and it stabs you
in the back with the other.”
(C. P. Snow)
“Politics is the gentle art of getting votes from the poor and campaign funds from the rich by promising to protect each from the other.” Oscar Ameringer
“No man should be in public office who can’t make more money in private life.” Thomas Dewey
“The cardinal rule of politics – never get caught in bed with a live man or a dead woman.” J.R Ewing (Dallas)
“Mothers all want their sons to grow up to be President but they don’t want them to become politicians in the process.” John F. Kennedy
“One fifth of the people are against everything all the time.” Robert Kennedy
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“Politicians are the same all over. They promise to build a bridge even when there’s no river.” Nikita Krushchev
“Socialism is workable only in heaven, where it isn’t needed, and in hell, where they’ve got it.” Cecil Palmer
With Congress, every time they make a joke it’s a law, and every time they make a law, it’s a joke.” Will Rogers
“My choice early in life was to be either a piano player in a whorehouse or a politician. And to tell the truth, There’s hardly any difference.” Harry Truman
“If God had been a liberal, we wouldn’t have had the Ten Commandments – we’d have the Ten Suggestions.” Malcolm Bradbury
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THANK GOD ONLY ONE OF THEM CAN WIN!
(Bumper sticker from the Kennedy-Nixon campaign in 1960)
Unfortunately this blog will be temporarily delayed. I became a victim to an unwelcomed virus which truly screwed up my computer and scrambled my software as well. When repairs have been investigated and repaired I SHALL RETURN.
As a lifelong lover of baseball this years World Series was incredible. I felt somewhat bad for the Canadians but such is life on the diamond. Sometimes you win and sometimes you don’t. I wouldn’t be at all surprised to see the same two teams again the Fall Classic sooner rather than later. As I’ve said many times, I’ve loved baseball my entire life thanks to my father. Because of my love affair with baseball I frequently post funny stories about the history of the sport. There are hundreds of facts and back-stories being told almost constantly but todays post concerns seven incredible stories that will blow your mind. Enjoy!
Cleveland Indians pitcher Bob Feller and Minnesota Twins outfielder Denard Span have something odd in common: Both hit their mothers in the stands with a foul ball. Feller hit his mom in 1939 and broke her collarbone; Span hit his mother during a spring training game in 2010. Fortunately both moms made full recoveries.
From 1936 to 1946, Hall of Famer Joe “Flash” Gordon played exactly 1000 games for the New York Yankees. In that time, he had exactly 1000 hits.
Breaking Babe Ruth’s home run record will never be forgotten: It happened in the 4th inning of the 4th game of 1974, when the Braves’ Hank Aaron, #44, hit a homer off the Dodgers Al Downing, #44.
In the 1960s, Kansas City A’s owner Charlie Finley installed a mechanical rabbit that popped up out of the ground behind home plate to deliver new baseballs to the umpire. Finley wanted the rest of the owners to install a rabbit as well, but none did.
In 1957 the Philadelphia Phillies’ Richie Ashburn fouled off a ball that hit a fan named Alice Roth in the face, breaking her nose. As she was being carried away on a stretcher, Ashburn fouled off another pitch which hit her again. The two later became good friends.
In 1876 a pitcher named Joe Borden of Boston hurled the first no-hitter in the history of the National League. But Borden couldn’t leave well enough alone. Soon after the game he changed his style of pitching and began to lose his stuff. Borden went steadily downhill, and by the end of the season he was no longer a pitcher – he was the club’s groundskeeper.
William “Brickyard” Kennedy was a good pitcher for Brooklyn before the turn-of-the-century, but he had a terrible temper. On July 31, 1897, Brickyard and Brooklyn were locked in a tight game against the Giants. Kennedy was having his troubles with umpire Hank O’Day. Finally O’Day called a close decision against Brickyard, and the hot tempered pitcher was so enraged that he threw the ball at the umpire. The ball missed its target, but there were runners on base. O’Day called the ball in play, and one runner scored before the catcher could get to the ball. Brooklyn lost the game, 2-1.
In recent months the political world seems to have taken over virtually all discussions. While those discussions are of supreme importance, a constant drumbeat of gloom, doom, and lying takes its toll on a person. Todays post is my attempt to lighten the mood a little. Here are the thoughts and hopes of a much younger generation ( that hasn’t been scarred by an overload of political thinking.
everyuselessthing.com 