Archive for the ‘food’ Tag
DANGER! DANGER! DANGER!
(A Male Public Service Announcement)
Police are warning all men who frequent clubs, parties and local bars to be alert and stay cautious when offered a drink by a woman. Many females are using a date rape drug on the market called “Beer.” The drug is found in liquid form and is available anywhere. It comes in bottles, cans, or from taps and in large kegs. Beer is used by female sexual predators at parties and bars to persuade their male victims to go home and sleep with them. A woman needs only to get a guy to consume a few units of Beer and then simply asks him to come home with her for some no-strings attached sex.
Please! Forward this warning to every male you know. If you fall victim to this Beer scam and the women administering it, there are male support groups where you can discuss the details of your shocking encounter with similarly victimized men. For the support group nearest you just look up “Golf Courses” in the phone book
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A man walks into a bar and says “G-g-gimme a b-b-beer. The bartender says, “Seems as though you’ve got a major stuttering problem.” The man replies, N-n-no k-k-kidding!” The bartender says, “I used to stutter, but my wife cured me. One afternoon she gave me oral sex three times in a row, and I haven’t stuttered since!” The man says, “W-w-wow, th-th-that’s great to kn-kn-know” A week later, the same man returns to the bar, and says, “G-g-gimme a b-b-beer.” The bartender says, “Why didn’t you do what I told you?” “I d-d-did try”, said the man. “It j-j-just d-d-didn’t w-w-work. But I m-m-must say, you have a r-r-really n-nice apartment.
AND TO MY BETTER-HALF AND ALL OF YOU OTHER BEER FANATICS
DRINK UP ! ! !
I’ve always considered myself a “foodie”. I’ve always loved cooking and found it a very relaxing activity. I’ve always been willing to try just about any new dish at least once even if it initially appears disgusting. Spending two years in Japan and Korea certainly expanded my palate but not always in a good way. Today’s post will be both interesting and possibly a little disgusting. Believe me when I say I’m not recommending most of these dishes, this post is just informative.
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- Coconut-Cream-Marinated Dog (Indonesia) . . . Pieces of dog are marinated in a coconut cream and then broiled on skewers.
- Fried Calf’s Head (Hungarian) . . . The head is sliced, breaded, and fried.
- Grilled Rat (French) . . . The rodent is brushed with olive oil and shallots and then broiled.
- Baked Bat (Samoa) . . .First the bat is torched to “dehair” it. Then it is cleaned, and baked or fried with salt, pepper, and onions.
- Stewed Cat (Ghanaian) . . . Sliced cat is fried in peanut oil and butter then simmered in a pot with red peppers.
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- Sun Dried Maggots (Chinese) . . . Fly larva are dried in the sun and then eaten as a snack or as a side dish with the meal.
- Pigs Face and Cabbage (Irish) . . . Then blanched face is baked with seasonings and served with boiled cabbage.
- Fried Turkey Balls (American) . . . The gonads are coated with breadcrumbs and then fried in olive oil or butter.
- Lamb Brain (Mexican) . . . The lamb’s brain is chopped up, fried with onions, tomatoes, and chilies, and then used as a taco stuffing.
- Broiled Puppy (Hawaiian) . . . The puppy is broiled flat over hot coals and served with sweet potatoes.
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BON APPETITE
It’s “Weird Facts” Day here at Everyuselessthing. I’m offering a few odd and strange truisms you’ve probably never heard of before. Just another public service for those of you interested in the unusual. Some of this information was collected from a book authored by Dan Lewis in 2013. This is my homage to him, a fellow lover of the weirdness that is the human race.
- In August 1962, American singer Bobby “Boris” Pickett released a novelty Halloween song “Monster Mash”. The song (his only hit) reached the top of the US Billboard charts in October of that year. But it took more than ten years for it to have any success in the UK. In 1962, the BBC banned the song from the airwaves, claiming it was “too morbid.” When the song was finally rereleased in 1973, the BBC saw it immediately rise to number three on the UK charts.
- The Mona Lisa is not painted on canvas, but on three pieces of wood roughly an inch and a half thick.
- Major League Baseball pitcher Jim Abbott was born without a right hand. Nevertheless, he had a ten-year career in the league, and on September 4, 1993, threw a no-hitter.
- New York City is filled with carts selling hotdogs, pretzels, cold drinks, etc., with the core products running just a few bucks, depending on location. Central Park spots can earn as much as $175,000.00 annually, says Yahoo.com, and in 2008, one vendor bid more than $600,000.00 for the exclusive rights to sell wieners outside the Metropolitan Museum of Art.
- Toilet paper is not the greatest thing since sliced bread. It can’t be, because TP predated slice bread by more than 50 years. Commercial TP was invented in 1857 by a New Yorker named Joseph Gayetty, who sold packs of 500 sheets for $.50. It’s marketing language called the product “the greatest necessity of the age,” so perhaps, sliced bread is the greatest thing since toilet paper.
HAPPY APRIL FOOLS DAY
Would you consider yourself a superstitious person? Most people don’t think they are but when questioned further the truth always comes out. Superstition comes in a number of forms but today I want to talk about the number 13. We are a technological people creating devices and accomplishments that boggle the mind. Why is it that there are no buildings in this country with a 13th floor. That fact is absolutely ridiculous for a modern country leading the world in so many areas. Here are some other examples of how stupid and superstitious we really are.
- The fear of the number 13 or “triskaidekaphobia” seems to have been around a long time. Viking mythology claims thirteen guests were seated at Loki’s Valhalla feast. Also, there were thirteen attendees at the Last Supper.
- Friday is also considered an unlucky because it was day of the crucifixion. It is claimed that Adam and Eve also ate the forbidden fruit on a Friday. That would surely make Friday the 13th a double whammy.
- Winston Churchill, former British prime minister, never traveled on a Friday the 13th unless absolutely necessary.
- Graham Chapman of Monty Python fame arranged to be buried on the 13th hour of Friday, October 13th, 1989.
- Benny Goodman and former vice-president Hubert Humphrey died on Friday the 13th.
- Months that begin on a Sunday will always have a Friday the 13th.
- On March 13, 1992, a violent earthquake in Turkey killed more than a thousand people.
- In 1972 on a Friday, a plane crashed in the Andes without food and water compelling the survivors to turn to cannibalism to stay alive.
- On Friday, October 13, 1307, King Philip IV of France ordered the arrest and torture of all members of the Knights Templar on charges of heresy.
- German bombs hit Buckingham Palace on Friday, September 13th, 1940, during World War II.
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T.G.I.F.
Being a former police office was an eye-opening experience. Your life is a constant challenge when dealing with criminals, domestic violence, and hundreds of other petty and sometimes stupid crimes and incidents. My first year required that I ride with a more experienced officer who would further explain the job and the handling of the many different types of incidents. Even back then I maintained a diary of sorts for unusual cases and unforgettable moments. It also was extremely handy to have that book as reference material when appearing in court. I always referred to it as my Cover-My-Ass diary. It would eventually be replaced many years later by the bodycam. The veteran officer also explained to me his philosophy on law enforcement very quaintly. “If it wasn’t for the stupid criminals, we’d never catch anyone.” He meant it tongue-in-cheek, but it was also true in many cases. Here are a few tidbits I’ve saved from my old files and additional research.
- Two men once tried to pull off the front of an ATM machine by running a chain from the machine to the bumper of their pickup truck. Instead of pulling the front panel off the machine, though, they pulled the bumper off their truck. They panicked and fled, leaving the chain still attached to the machine, their bumper still attached to the chain, and their license plate still attached to the bumper.
- An Arizona company specializing in staging gunfights for western movies, received a call from a 47-year-old woman who wanted to have her husband shot. She was later sentenced to four years in jail.
- A man had been ticketed for driving alone in the carpool lane. He claimed that the four frozen cadavers in the mortuary van he was driving should be counted as passengers. The judge ruled that passengers must be alive to qualify.
- A judge decided that a jury went “a little bit too far” in recommending a sentence of 5,005 years for a man who was convicted of five robberies and a kidnapping. The judge reduced the sentence to 1,001 years.
- When a man attempted to siphon gasoline from a parked motor home, he got much more than he bargained for. Police arrived at the scene to find a very ill man curled up next to the motor home near a puddle of spilled sewage. A police spokesman said that the man admitted to trying to steal the gasoline but plugged his hose into the motor home’s sewage tank by mistake. The owner of the vehicle declined to press charges, saying that it was the best laugh he’d ever had.
- A drug-possession defendant claimed he had been searched by police without a warrant. The prosecutor said the officer didn’t need a warrant because a “bulge” observed in his jacket could have been a gun. Nonsense, said the defendant, who happened to be wearing the same jacket that day in court. He handed it to the judge who discovered a packet of cocaine in the pocket and laughed so hard he required a five-minute recess to compose himself.
- Clever drug traffickers used a propane tanker truck entering the US from Mexico. They rigged it so propane gas would be released from all of its valves if checked by border agents, while the truck actually concealed 6,240 pounds of marijuana. They were clever, but not too bright. They misspelled the name of the gas company on the side of the truck.
- A defendant was on trial for the armed robbery of a convenience store in a district court this week. The store manager testified that he was indeed the robber. The defendant jumped up, accused the woman of lying and then said, “I should have blown your [expletive] head off.” He then quickly added, “-if I’d been the one that was there.” The jury took 20 minutes to convict him and recommended a 30-year sentence.
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STUPID IS AS STUPID DOES
(Forest Gump)
We woke up to five inches of snow this AM. I was forced into snow-blowing the driveway at 7:15. I’m really glad I didn’t wait because the snow was slowly melting and getting heavy making the snow-blower work extra hard. The driveway is now clear making it possible for my shopaholic better-half to get out and about. I really haven’t decided what to post today so taking a tip from some of my teachers of years ago, when in doubt they just gave us a pop quiz. Since food always seems to interest everyone, here are ten questions for you foodies out there. The answers will be listed below.
- What animal is the source of milk used in making Roquefort cheese?
- What part of the banana is used to make banana oil?
- Two states have official beverages. Florida is orange juice, what is the other?
- What words are found on the three rings of the Ballentine beer label?
- How many quarts of milk does it take to make one pound of butter?
- How much money did American Airlines claim to have saved in 1987 by eliminating one olive from each of it’s salads served in the first-class sections?
- What fruit did the Visigoths demand in ransom when they laid siege of Rome?
- What is the BRAT diet to eliminate diarrhea?
- What do Eskimos use to prevent their food from freezing?
- If you ordered the Five B’s breakfast in New England, what will you be served?
Answers
The Ewe (female sheep), None-banana oil is a synthetic, Ohio-tomato juice, Purity-Body-Flavor, 9.86 quarts, $40,000.00, 3,000 lbs. of peppercorns, Bananas-Rice-Applesauce-Toast, Refrigerators, Boston Baked Beans and Brown Bread
How about a few strange trivia facts. After all this blog isn’t called Every-Useless-Thing for nothing. Here’s a small collection of useless things for your enjoyment.
- One pound of peanut butter can contain up to 150 bug fragments and 5 rodent hairs.
- Roughly 100 people die every year from choking on ball-point pens.
- Some scientists view love in terms of addiction. One study discovered that monogamous pairing is based in the same region of the brain as drug addiction.
- Studies show that 87 percent of people fear getting trapped in dull conversations at dinner parties.
- A retired teacher in California once admitted that he taught for 17 years without knowing how to read or write.
- There is a real neurological disorder called Alien Hand Syndrome (AHS). It causes the sufferer’s hands to move independently, without control of the action.
- The acid in your stomach is so powerful that it can dissolve a razor blade in less than a week.
- You can find 20 million microscopic animals living on a square inch of human skin.
- More than 90 percent of women have asymmetrical breasts.
- On any given day, approximately 400 million people across the globe will have sexual intercourse, which means that about 4,000 people are probably having sex right now.
THE HUMAN MIRACLE – NOT
I was really disappointed with my terrible showing on the 2024 New Years resolutions. Barring any unforeseen catastrophes I hope to do much better in 2025. I admit that my bout of laziness during those warm summer months didn’t help. I just had too many distractions!
*** HERE THEY ARE FOR 2025***
Read at least 100 books by years end (more if possible).
Complete at least four illustrations for use as gifts for next Christmas.
Complete one sculpture using a technique I haven’t used before.
Show more patience to my better-half’s retirement adjustments.
Attempt to write some serious poetry that’s worth reading.
Continued monitoring of the grandsons for new and exciting cuss words. (Minimum of 1)
Continue to ignore all of the weird and bizzare health tips from the Internet. (This one is too easy.)
I plan on being more serious about completing the resolutions this year. I’ve always set goals for myself for most of my life with a great deal of success. This will be a lot more fun because the only person looking over my shoulder these days will be ME!
CHALLENGE YOURSELF
I’m a lover of all things historical. I’m always on the lookout for books and reference material concerning not just the history of the United States, but of the world. Like it or not the history of the world in its entirety is much worse than this country ever has been. Here are a few examples of that history.
- The Olympic Games of 1916, scheduled to be held in Berlin, were cancelled due to “global unpleasantness.” Thats just another world for WWI.
- The medical officer at the Birmingham prison in 1918 recommended that any condemned men be supplied with at least a dozen cigarettes a day.
- In 1920, King Alexander of Greece, uncle of the Duke of Edinburgh, died after being bitten by a pet monkey.
- In 1921 in Russia, while reporting on the famine, Arthur Ransome found an old woman so desperate for food she was reduced to cooking horse dung in a broken saucepan.
- In 1923, Coco Chanel set the trend for tanning when, on a Mediterranean cruise, she inadvertently allowed herself to go brown in the sun. The fashion world immediately assumed it was the chic thing to do.
- In 1927 during a London run at the Little Theatre, an adaption of Dracula, caused 29 people to faint requiring a nurse to be on hand at all showings.
- In 1936 during his brief period as king, Edward VIII once avoided an awkward interview by jumping out a window in Buckingham Palace and running away to hide in the garden.
- In 1938 having just returned from Munich and bringing “peace for our time”, Prime Minister Neville Chamberlain requested an update on the long-tailed tits nesting in the Treasury building.
BE GLAD YOUR HERE
Earlier this year in September I posted an update of my New Years resolutions. I only listed five items this year rather than my normal ten because I’m old, lazy, and distracted by damn near everything. Here is my final tally for 2024. I have to say it’s a little disappointing. See what you think.
READ MORE THAN 100 BOOKS
This is a big “INCOMPLETE”. After checking with Kindle and my home library I missed my target by two books. I’m currently reading book number 99, but I won’t get it finished until sometime in January (it’s a large tome).
TRY TO BE A LITTLE FRIENDLIER TOWARDS THE REST OF THE WORLD
This was the hardest one for me. I’m claiming a big “COMPLETE” because I feel I discovered a simple solution on how be friendlier to the rest of the world. I’ll just limit my contact only with people who I like and those that like me back. That has vastly improved my “niceness” profile because the people who dislike me never get to hear from me.
KEEP DUNKIN’ EXPENDITURES TO LESS THAN $40.00 A MONTH
I claim a big “COMPLETE” on this one. Fortunately for my wallet, my better-half retired this year. I’ve been freed from those constant coffee runs to Dunkin Donuts to feed her coffee addiction. That leaves me approximately $400.00 a year to feed my favorite addictions for a change.
COMPLETE EIGHT PAINTINGS OR PRINTS
This resolution was another “INCOMPLETE”. I finished only five prints so far due to a two-month bout of absolute laziness. I’ll certainly improve this next year, I hope.
LEARN AT LEAST FOUR NEW CUSS WORDS FROM MY GRANDSONS
This is another “INCOMPLETE”. I was only able to come up with one new cuss word that I overheard when my two grandsons were having a private conversation. I was eavesdropping like any good adult should do but I’m still not sure which one of the boys said the magic word “shitster”. I have no context for that word, but I sure liked the sound of it. Being a “shitster” is probably way better than being a gangster. At some point I may ask the boys for clarification but first I may use the word during a conversation with their parents when they’re close enough to hear me. LOL
😒TWO OF FIVE😒
HOW DID YOU DO IN 2024?
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