Would you consider yourself a superstitious person? Most people don’t think they are but when questioned further the truth always comes out. Superstition comes in a number of forms but today I want to talk about the number 13. We are a technological people creating devices and accomplishments that boggle the mind. Why is it that there are no buildings in this country with a 13th floor. That fact is absolutely ridiculous for a modern country leading the world in so many areas. Here are some other examples of how stupid and superstitious we really are.
The fear of the number 13 or “triskaidekaphobia” seems to have been around a long time. Viking mythology claims thirteen guests were seated at Loki’s Valhalla feast. Also, there were thirteen attendees at the Last Supper.
Friday is also considered an unlucky because it was day of the crucifixion. It is claimed that Adam and Eve also ate the forbidden fruit on a Friday. That would surely make Friday the 13th a double whammy.
Winston Churchill, former British prime minister, never traveled on a Friday the 13th unless absolutely necessary.
Graham Chapman of Monty Python fame arranged to be buried on the 13th hour of Friday, October 13th, 1989.
Benny Goodman and former vice-president Hubert Humphrey died on Friday the 13th.
Months that begin on a Sunday will always have a Friday the 13th.
On March 13, 1992, a violent earthquake in Turkey killed more than a thousand people.
In 1972 on a Friday, a plane crashed in the Andes without food and water compelling the survivors to turn to cannibalism to stay alive.
On Friday, October 13, 1307, King Philip IV of France ordered the arrest and torture of all members of the Knights Templar on charges of heresy.
German bombs hit Buckingham Palace on Friday, September 13th, 1940, during World War II.
Being a former police office was an eye-opening experience. Your life is a constant challenge when dealing with criminals, domestic violence, and hundreds of other petty and sometimes stupid crimes and incidents. My first year required that I ride with a more experienced officer who would further explain the job and the handling of the many different types of incidents. Even back then I maintained a diary of sorts for unusual cases and unforgettable moments. It also was extremely handy to have that book as reference material when appearing in court. I always referred to it as my Cover-My-Ass diary. It would eventually be replaced many years later by the bodycam. The veteran officer also explained to me his philosophy on law enforcement very quaintly. “If it wasn’t for the stupid criminals, we’d never catch anyone.” He meant it tongue-in-cheek, but it was also true in many cases. Here are a few tidbits I’ve saved from my old files and additional research.
Two men once tried to pull off the front of an ATM machine by running a chain from the machine to the bumper of their pickup truck. Instead of pulling the front panel off the machine, though, they pulled the bumper off their truck. They panicked and fled, leaving the chain still attached to the machine, their bumper still attached to the chain, and their license plate still attached to the bumper.
An Arizona company specializing in staging gunfights for western movies, received a call from a 47-year-old woman who wanted to have her husband shot. She was later sentenced to four years in jail.
A man had been ticketed for driving alone in the carpool lane. He claimed that the four frozen cadavers in the mortuary van he was driving should be counted as passengers. The judge ruled that passengers must be alive to qualify.
A judge decided that a jury went “a little bit too far” in recommending a sentence of 5,005 years for a man who was convicted of five robberies and a kidnapping. The judge reduced the sentence to 1,001 years.
When a man attempted to siphon gasoline from a parked motor home, he got much more than he bargained for. Police arrived at the scene to find a very ill man curled up next to the motor home near a puddle of spilled sewage. A police spokesman said that the man admitted to trying to steal the gasoline but plugged his hose into the motor home’s sewage tank by mistake. The owner of the vehicle declined to press charges, saying that it was the best laugh he’d ever had.
A drug-possession defendant claimed he had been searched by police without a warrant. The prosecutor said the officer didn’t need a warrant because a “bulge” observed in his jacket could have been a gun. Nonsense, said the defendant, who happened to be wearing the same jacket that day in court. He handed it to the judge who discovered a packet of cocaine in the pocket and laughed so hard he required a five-minute recess to compose himself.
Clever drug traffickers used a propane tanker truck entering the US from Mexico. They rigged it so propane gas would be released from all of its valves if checked by border agents, while the truck actually concealed 6,240 pounds of marijuana. They were clever, but not too bright. They misspelled the name of the gas company on the side of the truck.
A defendant was on trial for the armed robbery of a convenience store in a district court this week. The store manager testified that he was indeed the robber. The defendant jumped up, accused the woman of lying and then said, “I should have blown your [expletive] head off.” He then quickly added, “-if I’d been the one that was there.” The jury took 20 minutes to convict him and recommended a 30-year sentence.
We woke up to five inches of snow this AM. I was forced into snow-blowing the driveway at 7:15. I’m really glad I didn’t wait because the snow was slowly melting and getting heavy making the snow-blower work extra hard. The driveway is now clear making it possible for my shopaholic better-half to get out and about. I really haven’t decided what to post today so taking a tip from some of my teachers of years ago, when in doubt they just gave us a pop quiz. Since food always seems to interest everyone, here are ten questions for you foodies out there. The answers will be listed below.
What animal is the source of milk used in making Roquefort cheese?
What part of the banana is used to make banana oil?
Two states have official beverages. Florida is orange juice, what is the other?
What words are found on the three rings of the Ballentine beer label?
How many quarts of milk does it take to make one pound of butter?
How much money did American Airlines claim to have saved in 1987 by eliminating one olive from each of it’s salads served in the first-class sections?
What fruit did the Visigoths demand in ransom when they laid siege of Rome?
What is the BRAT diet to eliminate diarrhea?
What do Eskimos use to prevent their food from freezing?
If you ordered the Five B’s breakfast in New England, what will you be served?
Answers
The Ewe (female sheep), None-banana oil is a synthetic, Ohio-tomato juice, Purity-Body-Flavor, 9.86 quarts, $40,000.00, 3,000 lbs. of peppercorns, Bananas-Rice-Applesauce-Toast, Refrigerators, Boston Baked Beans and Brown Bread
How about a few strange trivia facts. After all this blog isn’t called Every-Useless-Thing for nothing. Here’s a small collection of useless things for your enjoyment.
One pound of peanut butter can contain up to 150 bug fragments and 5 rodent hairs.
Roughly 100 people die every year from choking on ball-point pens.
Some scientists view love in terms of addiction. One study discovered that monogamous pairing is based in the same region of the brain as drug addiction.
Studies show that 87 percent of people fear getting trapped in dull conversations at dinner parties.
A retired teacher in California once admitted that he taught for 17 years without knowing how to read or write.
There is a real neurological disorder called Alien Hand Syndrome (AHS). It causes the sufferer’s hands to move independently, without control of the action.
The acid in your stomach is so powerful that it can dissolve a razor blade in less than a week.
You can find 20 million microscopic animals living on a square inch of human skin.
More than 90 percent of women have asymmetrical breasts.
On any given day, approximately 400 million people across the globe will have sexual intercourse, which means that about 4,000 people are probably having sex right now.
I was really disappointed with my terrible showing on the 2024 New Years resolutions. Barring any unforeseen catastrophes I hope to do much better in 2025. I admit that my bout of laziness during those warm summer months didn’t help. I just had too many distractions!
*** HERE THEY ARE FOR 2025***
Read at least 100 books by years end(more if possible).
Complete at least four illustrations for use as gifts for next Christmas.
Complete one sculpture using a technique I haven’t used before.
Show more patience to my better-half’s retirement adjustments.
Attempt to write some serious poetry that’s worth reading.
Continued monitoring of the grandsons for new and exciting cuss words. (Minimum of 1)
Continue to ignore all of the weird and bizzare health tips from the Internet. (This one is too easy.)
I plan on being more serious about completing the resolutions this year. I’ve always set goals for myself for most of my life with a great deal of success. This will be a lot more fun because the only person looking over my shoulder these days will be ME!
I’m a lover of all things historical. I’m always on the lookout for books and reference material concerning not just the history of the United States, but of the world. Like it or not the history of the world in its entirety is much worse than this country ever has been. Here are a few examples of that history.
The Olympic Games of 1916, scheduled to be held in Berlin, were cancelled due to “global unpleasantness.” Thats just another world for WWI.
The medical officer at the Birmingham prison in 1918 recommended that any condemned men be supplied with at least a dozen cigarettes a day.
In 1920, King Alexander of Greece, uncle of the Duke of Edinburgh, died after being bitten by a pet monkey.
In 1921 in Russia, while reporting on the famine, Arthur Ransome found an old woman so desperate for food she was reduced to cooking horse dung in a broken saucepan.
In 1923, Coco Chanel set the trend for tanning when, on a Mediterranean cruise, she inadvertently allowed herself to go brown in the sun. The fashion world immediately assumed it was the chic thing to do.
In 1927 during a London run at the Little Theatre, an adaption of Dracula, caused 29 people to faint requiring a nurse to be on hand at all showings.
In 1936 during his brief period as king, Edward VIII once avoided an awkward interview by jumping out a window in Buckingham Palace and running away to hide in the garden.
In 1938 having just returned from Munich and bringing “peace for our time”, Prime Minister Neville Chamberlain requested an update on the long-tailed tits nesting in the Treasury building.
Earlier this year in September I posted an update of my New Years resolutions. I only listed five items this year rather than my normal ten because I’m old, lazy, and distracted by damn near everything. Here is my final tally for 2024. I have to say it’s a little disappointing. See what you think.
READ MORE THAN 100 BOOKS
This is a big “INCOMPLETE”. After checking with Kindle and my home library I missed my target by two books. I’m currently reading book number 99, but I won’t get it finished until sometime in January (it’s a large tome).
TRY TO BE A LITTLE FRIENDLIER TOWARDS THE REST OF THE WORLD
This was the hardest one for me. I’m claiming a big “COMPLETE” because I feel I discovered a simple solution on how be friendlier to the rest of the world. I’ll just limit my contact only with people who I like and those that like me back. That has vastly improved my “niceness” profile because the people who dislike me never get to hear from me.
KEEP DUNKIN’ EXPENDITURES TO LESS THAN $40.00 A MONTH
I claim a big “COMPLETE” on this one. Fortunately for my wallet, my better-half retired this year. I’ve been freed from those constant coffee runs to Dunkin Donuts to feed her coffee addiction. That leaves me approximately $400.00 a year to feed my favorite addictions for a change.
COMPLETE EIGHT PAINTINGS OR PRINTS
This resolution was another “INCOMPLETE”. I finished only five prints so far due to a two-month bout of absolute laziness. I’ll certainly improve this next year, I hope.
LEARN AT LEAST FOUR NEW CUSS WORDS FROM MY GRANDSONS
This is another “INCOMPLETE”. I was only able to come up with one new cuss word that I overheard when my two grandsons were having a private conversation. I was eavesdropping like any good adult should do but I’m still not sure which one of the boys said the magic word “shitster”. I have no context for that word, but I sure liked the sound of it. Being a “shitster” is probably way better than being a gangster. At some point I may ask the boys for clarification but first I may use the word during a conversation with their parents when they’re close enough to hear me. LOL
Well, it’s New Years Eve once again. This was a fun holiday when I was in my teens and twenties but these days not so much. I never really understood what the big deal was and still don’t. It’s just a day and night made for drinking, carousing, and avoiding sobriety check points. I hope none of you become victims of that stupidity and cause an accident that may harm yourself and others by drinking and driving. In my years as a police officer, I made a point of not working on this holiday. I took the day off and then occasionally drank too much, caroused too much, and got really stupid. I managed to survive but only just.
This year I’m housebound and safe from the fits of holiday stupidity. Please be safe . . . and not too stupid. I wouldn’t want to be reading about any of you on “the day after”. Let me bring a few smiles to your lips before you decide to begin your celebration by taking a little trip to the 1980’s for some occasionally rude and hilarious humor.
If the shrimps come in on a shrimp boat, how do the crabs come in? On the captain’s dinghy.
Why did Miss Piggy miss her last concert? She had a frog in her throat.
What happens when you moon in bumper-to-bumper traffic? You wind up with your ass in a jam.
What’s the difference between a counterfeit dollar bill and a skinny girl? The counterfeit bill is a phony buck.
What’s the definition of a real lady? Someone who doesn’t smoke, doesn’t drink, and only curses if it slips out.
Why did they name the new feminine hygiene spray SSY? Because it takes the PU out of pussy.
What happens when a guaranteed condom breaks? The guarantee runs out.
What’s 138? Dinner for four.
When do you know you’ve had the world’s best head? You have to pull the sheet out of your ass.
What’s the difference between frustration and panic? Frustration is the first time you find out you can’t do it the second time, and panic is the second time you found out you couldn’t do it the first time.
Christmas is gone . . . thankfully. I love all the presents, and I love all the decorations (if I’m not forced into putting them up), but my downfall is all the damn food. I’m what you might call a “taster”. I love tasting everything and this year was the worst since last year. I swear we had enough food for twenty people but unfortunately, there were only seven of us. That means that I’ll be eating reheated holiday leftovers for at least the next two weeks. Also, let’s not forget the large influx of food anticipated on New Years Eve and again on New Years Day. I have absolutely no willpower and I’ll probably be found dead with a large slab of lukewarm ham hanging out of my mouth. With that cheery thought in mind, I’ll be posting a few tidbits of trivia about food as I sit here eating blueberry donuts and cherry lifesavers.
Animal Crackers were introduced in 1902 as a Christmas novelty item and packaged with a string for a handle. It made it easier to hang them on the Christmas tree as an ornament.
Coffee was officially recognized as a Christian drink by Pope Clement VIII in 1592.
Most of the egg rolls sold in grocery stores in the United States are actually produced in Houston, Texas.
The American city that consumes the most ketchup is New Orleans.
Eighty-seven percent of whole milk is water.
Miss Piggy of Muppets fame was once quoted, “Never eat more than you can lift.”
The term “Surf & Turf” was coined by gastronome Diamond Jim Brady and was first served to him at a waterfront restaurant in Brooklyn, NY, in the late 1880’s.
The name Lorna Doone was the name given to a shortbread cookie in 1869 based on a novel by the same name.
Baskin-Robbins introduced an ice cream, Lunar Cheesecake, in 1969 to commemorate the moon landing.
Salsa overtook the ever-popular ketchup as the top selling condiment in 1991.
I’ve been a homebrewer for more than thirty years. I’ve made thousands of bottles of wine over the years because I’m just not a big fan of beer. My few attempts at making beer were miserable failures or that’s what I’ve been told by the “Beer” people. It was a fun hobby and mostly kept me at home and out of trouble for years. When I notice something related to home brewing, I always save it for later use. This post has been in my files for a lot of years, and I can’t even remember where it came from, so I dusted it off, and here it is. Maybe next Christmas it might motivate some of you “Beer” people give it a try.
“TWAS THE HOMEBREWER’S NIGHT BEFORE CHRISTMAS”
Twas the night before Christmas, and all through the house, Every creature was thirsty, including the mouse… The steins were empty, and the bottles were too The beer had been drunk with no time to brew.
My family was nestled all snug in their beds While visions of Christmas Ale foamed in their heads. Mama in her kerchief lamented the drought, She craved a pilsner and I, a large stout.
When out on the lawn, there arose such a clatter, I sprang from my chair to see what was the matter. Away to the kitchen, I flew like a flash, Opening the door with a loud bang and crash!
I threw on the switch and the lights, all aglow, Gave a luster of mid-day to the brew-pot below. When, what to my wondering eyes should appear But Gambrinus himself, the patron of beer.
With a look in his eye, so lively and quick, He said, “You want beer? Well, here, take your pick.” More rapid than eagles, his recipes came As he whistled and shouted and called them by name.
“Now, Pilsener! Now, Porter! Now, Stout and Now Maerzen! On, Bitter! On, Lager! On, Bock and On Weizen!” “To the top of the bottles, the short and the tall, Now brew away, brew away, and fill them all!”
As dried hops before a wild hurricane fly, And then, without warning, settle down with a sigh, So towards the brew-pot, the ingredients flew, Malt extract, roasted barley and crystal malt, too.
And then in a twinkling, I heard it quite plain, The cracking open of each barley grain. As I drew in my head and was turning around, Into the kitchen, he came with a bound.
He was dressed like a knight, from his head to his toes, With an old family crest adorning his clothes. A bundle of hops, he had flung on his back, And the brewing began when he opened his pack.
His hops were so fragrant! His barley, how sweet! The adjuncts included Munich malt and some wheat. The malted barley was mashed in the tun, Then boiled with hops in the brew-pot ’till done.
Excitement had me gnashing my teeth, As the sweet smell encircled my head like a wreath. Beer yeast was pitched, both lager and ale, The wort quickly fermented; not once did it fail.
It was then krausened, or with sugar primed, And just being bottled when midnight had chimed. A wink of his eye and a twist of his head, Soon gave me to know, I’d be shortly in bed.
He spoke not a word but kept on with his work, And capped all the bottles, then turned with a jerk. And laying a finger alongside his nose, He belched (quite a burp!) before he arose.
Clean-up was easy, with only a whistle, And away the mess flew, like the down on a thistle. And I heard him exclaim, ‘ere he left me the beer, “Merry Christmas to all and a HOPPY New Year!”
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