Archive for the ‘will rogers’ Tag
It’s been a miserable few days trying to get my systems back into operation. After four days I can finally return to the blog. It will probably take me another few weeks before things return to abnormal. This post will concern quotes from prominent people about politics. It seems to be all the rage nowadays so I decided to get on board with all of the other wackos. Here goes nothing . . .
My Quote of the Day
“Technology is a queer thing. It brings you
great gifts with one hand, and it stabs you
in the back with the other.”
(C. P. Snow)
“Politics is the gentle art of getting votes from the poor and campaign funds from the rich by promising to protect each from the other.” Oscar Ameringer
“No man should be in public office who can’t make more money in private life.” Thomas Dewey
“The cardinal rule of politics – never get caught in bed with a live man or a dead woman.” J.R Ewing (Dallas)
“Mothers all want their sons to grow up to be President but they don’t want them to become politicians in the process.” John F. Kennedy
“One fifth of the people are against everything all the time.” Robert Kennedy
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“Politicians are the same all over. They promise to build a bridge even when there’s no river.” Nikita Krushchev
“Socialism is workable only in heaven, where it isn’t needed, and in hell, where they’ve got it.” Cecil Palmer
With Congress, every time they make a joke it’s a law, and every time they make a law, it’s a joke.” Will Rogers
“My choice early in life was to be either a piano player in a whorehouse or a politician. And to tell the truth, There’s hardly any difference.” Harry Truman
“If God had been a liberal, we wouldn’t have had the Ten Commandments – we’d have the Ten Suggestions.” Malcolm Bradbury
👌👌👌
THANK GOD ONLY ONE OF THEM CAN WIN!
(Bumper sticker from the Kennedy-Nixon campaign in 1960)
Everyone at one time or another has a bad day or a bad week or a bad year. When your in one of these ruts it’s sometimes difficult to pull yourself out of it. Todays post is meant to inspire the readers and to lift their spirits a little. I hope it works for you!
- “Never bend your head. Always hold it high. Look the world straight in the eye.” Helen Keller
- “Keep your eyes on the stars, keep your feet on the ground.” Theodore Roosevelt
- “I never remember feeling tired by work, though idleness exhausts me completely. Arthur Conan Doyle
- “The way I see it, if you want the rainbow, you got a put up with the rain.” Dolly Parton
- There are only two ways to live your life. One is as though nothing is a miracle. The other is as though everything is a miracle.” Albert Einstein
- “Don’t give in! Make your own trail.” Katharine Hepburn
- “You may have to fight a battle more than once to win it.” Margaret Thatcher
- “One of the things I learned the hard way was it does not pay to get discouraged. Keeping busy and making optimism a way of life can restore your faith in yourself.” Lucille Ball
- Even if you’re on the right track you’ll get run over if you just sit there. Will Rogers
- “When written in Chinese, the word “crisis” is composed of two characters. One represents danger and the other represents opportunity.” John F Kennedy “
And finally one of my favorites:
Rules for Living
“Do not worry, eat three square meals a day, say your prayers, be courteous to your creditors, keep your digestion’s good, and steer clear of biliousness, exercise, go slow and go easy. Maybe there are other things that your special case requires to make you happy, but, my friend, these, I reckon, will give you a good life.” Abraham Lincoln
THESE SHOULD RAISE YOUR SPIRITS A LITTLE
Well, it’s 2025 and I’m off to a good start. I’ve completed my New Year’s resolutions and thrown a little poetry your way. Not too bad for the first week of a new year. Since it’s freezing cold here in Maine and I’m stuck in the house and becoming a little disgruntled with this winter weather, I thought some morbid historical celebrity trivia was needed. Here ‘s the quiz . . .
- What colonial patriot, author and inventor is buried at Christ Church in Philadelphia? Ben Franklin
- What twentieth century president was born, raised, and buried in Hyde Park, NY? FDR
- What famous pioneer and scout has his home and grave located in Taos, New Mexico? Christopher “Kit” Carson
- What much loved western comedian’s home, birthplace, and grave can be visited in Claremore, Oklahoma? Will Rogers
- Samuel Wilson’s grave is in Troy, NY. What U.S. symbol was he the original of? Uncle Sam
- What is unusual about the large bust of Abraham Lincoln located near his grave? His bronze nose is very shiny because so many visitors rub it for luck.
- What nickname for an Iowan resident honors the Sauk Indian chief Black Hawk? Hawkeye
- What notable achievement of Thomas Jefferson’s life did he not mention when he created his own tombstone? President of the United States
- Who is buried in Grants Tomb in Manhattan? Mrs. U.S. Grant and her husband.
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ANOTHER DAY IN PARADISE
*****
“Never miss a good chance to shut up.” – Will Rogers
- Sean Connery once polished coffins for cash.
- There are 27 moons orbiting Uranus. (pun intended)
- More than 29 years after the Japanese surrendered in World War II, Lt. Onoda Hiro was discovered in the Philippines. He refused to surrender until he was ordered to do so by his commanding officer.
- In Sri Lanka, nonverbal signals for agreement are reversed from those in Western countries. Nodding your head means “no” and shaking your head from side-to-side means “yes.”
- A person can’t be a sumo wrestler in Japan unless he weighs more than 154 pounds and is taller than five feet seven inches.
*****
“The best argument against democracy is a five-minute conversation with the average voter.” – Winston Churchill
- President. James Garfield was shot by an assassin in 1881. Six doctors attempted to treat the wounded president, but several probed the wound with their bare fingers, introducing a fatal infection into his body.
- Lloyds of London Paid out $3,019,400 in insurance claims to the families of the victims who perished in the Titanic disaster.
- Ermal Fraze invented the pop-top aluminum can in 1963, he received U.S. patent number 3,349,949 for the design.
- Approximately 75% of what we think we taste is actually coming from our sense of smell.
- Couples married in the first three months of the year tend to have higher divorce rates than those married in the later months.
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“Doing nothing is better than being busy doing nothing.” – Lao Tzu
Do you own a cowboy hat or other articles of western clothing. The American Old West has fans around the globe as reflected in thousands of Japanese cowboys who live for the fantasy. I was a big fan at an early age when I received my first two-gun cap pistol rig. When the novelty of that wore off, I was pretty much finished with my desire to be a cowboy, so I moved on to wanting to be a professional baseball player and later still a first-class skirt chaser. I’m not wearing a cowboy hat, boots, or assless chaps but I still can offer a few limericks from the Old West.
While waiting for the Sioux to disband,
Colonel Custer took matters in hand.
Despite his dejection
He achieved an erection.
That was almost Custer’s Last Stand.
As a gunslinger Wild Bill Hickok
Had mastered every known trick-shot.
But his skills while in bed
Leave less to said,
For nothing could make his small dick hot.
Said a girl who came west to a farm,
“City life has far greater charm.
Take the pleasures of orgasm,
Each urban girl has’em,
But in Kansas they’re viewed with alarm.
An old whore who worked Santa Fe
Was known as a luscious hot lay.
But the bugs in her twitchet
Forced her always to itch it,
And that frightened her clients away.
Yee Ha, Y’all!
William Penn Adair Rogers (November 4, 1879 – August 15, 1935) was an American vaudeville performer, actor, and humorous social commentator. He was born as a citizen of the Cherokee Nation, in the Indian Territory (now part of Oklahoma) and was known as “Oklahoma’s Favorite Son”. By the mid-1930s, he was hugely popular in the United States for his leading political wit and was the highest paid of Hollywood film stars. He died in 1935 with aviator Wiley Post when their small airplane crashed in northern Alaska.
That last paragraph is the current description of this man but barely does him justice. He and Mark Twain have always been my two favorite philosophers. I’ve read the writings of many of the ancient philosophers, but they are difficult to relate to. These two men always used wisdom delivered with biting humor to make their points and it was magical. Here is just a small sampling of his quotes which still ring true here in the twenty-first century. Enjoy . . .
- “After eating an entire bull, a mountain lion felt so good he started roaring. He kept it up until a hunter came along and shot him… The moral: When you’re full of bull, keep your mouth shut.”
- “When I die, I want to die like my grandfather who died peacefully in his sleep. Not screaming like all the passengers in his car.”
- “Democrats are the only reason to vote for Republicans.”
- “The short memories of the American voters is what keeps our politicians in office.”
- “If America ever passes out as a great nation, we ought to put on our tombstone: America died from a delusion she had Moral Leadership.”
- “The taxpayers are sending congressmen on expensive trips abroad. It might be worth it except they keep coming back.”
- “If you want to be successful, it’s just this simple. Know what you are doing. Love what you are doing. And believe in what you are doing.”
- “If there are no dogs in Heaven, then when I die, I want to go where they went.”
- “Last year we said, ‘Things can’t go on like this’, and they didn’t, they got worse.”
- “A man only learns by two things; one is reading, and the other is association with smarter people.”
- “Even if you’re on the right track, you’ll get run over if you just sit there.”
HE NEVER MET A MAN HE DIDN’T LIKE
For years I’ve collected lists, sayings, and quotations. The more I find, the more you get to read. One of these days I’m going to sit down and put together some of my thoughts, my limericks, and my musings. They’re sure to be just as interesting as these folks. And in
- It’s not death that alarms me, but dying surely does.
- A diplomat is a person who always remembers a woman’s birthday, but never her age.
- In wine there is truth. Pliny the Elder
- It’s not the men in my life I worry about, it’s the life in my men. Mae West
- I can remember way back when a liberal was one who was generous with his own money. Will Rogers
- Fish and guests smell in three days. Ben Franklin
- A pessimist thinks all women are bad and an optimist hopes they are.
- The ultimate rejection is when your hand falls asleep while masturbating.
- Sex is only dirty, if it’s done right.
- A single death is a tragedy, a million deaths is a statistic. Joseph Stalin
- Never underestimate the power of stupid people in large groups.
- I prefer an interesting device to a boring virtue.
- What goes around, comes around.
- He who hesitates is last. Mae West
- Some of us are becoming the men we wanted to marry. Gloria Steinem
- I am not young enough to know everything.
- The zoo is a place of refuge were savage beasts are protected from people.
I found this list while digging around in some old boxes a few days ago. I eliminated a few that were dated like cheap shots at Bill Clinton. But those that remain I felt were worth sharing with you. Most of them I absolutely love especially those pearls of wisdom supplied by Mae West. Would’ve loved to have met her.
GO WEST (MAE) YOUNG MAN
I finally feel as if my entire life has been justified and validated. I never thought it would happen but today was the day. I stayed up late last night snuggling warmly on my favorite chair with my Kindle. I’ve been on a reading binge of late but decided to switch from my normal detective novels to some non-fiction. After a thorough search of the Kindle Store I was able to download a number of books and essays that caught my eye.
Just for background purposes you should know that many many times in my life I’ve been accused of being a ‘wise ass’. For me it stopped being something derogatory when I was still in junior high school. It became a badge of honor at that point and I set out to be the best ‘wise ass’ I could be. It’s good to have goals, don’t you know.
I’ve always enjoyed the company of other ‘wise asses’ because we understand each other. We all seem to be quick witted and able to crack wise at a moments notice. It’s not as easy and glamorous as it sounds. It takes years of hard work and dedication just to get to the level where your recognized by others after just a few minutes of conversation.
Samuel Clemens aka Mark Twain
I also enjoyed reading as a teenager and I became hooked on anything written by Mark Twain. It became obvious very quickly that while Mark Twain could spin a tale like nobody’s business his alter ego, Samuel Clemens, was the ultimate sarcastic wise ass. The more sarcastic and glib he became the more in demand he was. Last night I began reading his essay on "The Decay of the Art of Lying" and it took just a few paragraphs for me to realize that I needed to give more thought to lying in general and really good lying in particular. This quote stood out in just the first paragraph:
"No high-minded man, no man of right feeling, can contemplate the lumbering and slovenly lying of the present day without grieving to see a noble art so prostituted."
Another favorite ‘wise ass’ of mine was Will Rogers. Although he died in a plane crash in Alaska in 1935 much of his writings and quotations can be found everywhere. He was the leading political wit of the Progressive Era, and was a top-paid Hollywood movie star at the same time. He was another ‘wise ass’ who made it big before his untimely death. His good-old-boy approach to ridicule and humor made him funny, well liked, with a sarcasm that was dripping with honey. He was the sort who could take you to task for something stupid you’ve done and have you laughing at yourself as he left the room.
It’s a real shame that both of these ‘wise asses’ weren’t able to live long enough to see how our current political figures of both parties have proudly carried the art form of lying to new heights.
I’ve always been good at spinning a yarn to avoid lying but maybe I should have just blurted out the truth. Clemens stated rather emphatically that everyone lies. Whether it’s a little white lie or a lie of omission, it’s still a lie. We are a nation of liars. I honestly believe I prefer things the way they are because telling the absolute truth regardless of the consequences can get nasty and unfriendly very quickly. It makes the age old question "Does my ass look too big in this dress?" a life threatening situation. No thank you. Here’s one last quote from Clemens to support my position:
"None of us could live with an habitual truth-teller, but thank goodness none of us have to. A habitual truth-teller is an impossible creature; he does not exist; he never has existed. Everybody lies-every day; every hour; asleep; in his dreams; in his joy; in his mourning; if he keeps his tongue still, his hands, his feet, his eyes, his attitude, will convey deception-and purposely."
I’m an even bigger fan of Samuel Clemens and Will Rogers that I was previously. It’s nice to see a few sarcastic ‘wise asses’ make the big time. I just wanted to take the time to acknowledge them with this self-created Wise Ass Appreciation Day. Thankfully for all of us their works will live on forever.
Wise Asses – 2
The Rest of the World – 0
everyuselessthing.com 