Archive for the ‘Bitch & Complain’ Category
What’s your morning routine? For most of my life I’ve had a routine and I stuck to it regardless of the day, the month, or the year. It also was flexible enough to change when necessary to fit my always changing lifestyle. I have to say that my routine these days is by far the best it’s ever been.
I’m sitting in a nice warm bed and into my second cup of coffee while watching and listening to one of my favorite chick flicks, Return to Me. My better-half has left for work, the cat has been fed, and I just finished off a bowl of crunchy cereal covered with berries and almond milk. Now it’s time to write this posting before I finally roll out of bed and officially start my day.
With Fall now rushing upon us and Labor Day behind us, we decided to make our farewell visit to the nearby tourist trap, Old Orchard Beach. We expected much smaller crowds because many places close up for the season just after the Labor Day weekend. It was warm and sunny and the crowds were even smaller than we anticipated.
We were both surprised to see that the vast majority of shops and restaurants had already closed their doors for the year. I’d intended to do some shopping at a certain store but because it was on the grounds of the amusement park it was fenced off and locked up. That’s what I get for delaying my visit to avoid the crowds. Another casualty of my claustrophobic need to avoid large groups of insane people.
The beach was almost as empty as everything else. Just a few die-hard beach people refusing to accept the fact that Winter is fast approaching.
We made our way to The Pier and the local Irish Pub. They were open for business and apparently trying to rake in as much money as they could from any straggling tourists. The prices were too high but the food was almost as good as the cold beer or so says my live-in beer expert. I had the vodka tonic which wasn’t all that bad either.
We ended the evening with our mandatory visit to the Arcade for my better-half’s minor obsession with Skee Ball. Don’t ask me why she has it, I just don’t know. We walked around for twenty minutes or so and decided to call it a night. The Summer is over, Fall is beginning, and we’ll be shoveling the white stuff all too soon.
Just so you know the little guy on the right is me. A little bit taller and always keeping an eye out for trouble. And in my humble opinion a whole lot cuter too.
I have a few least favorite things but two in particular. First, I hate having my teeth drilled. The sound and smell of teeth drilling makes me cringe because it’s been done all to often over the years. Second, I hate doctors, nurses and hospitals. I do realize they’re a necessary evil but I hate them none the less.
My late mother was never a well person. Through all of her illnesses and surgeries there paraded scores of doctors who spent more time spending her money than fixing her problems. Each specialist prescribed different medicines and drugs with little or no thought to the many others doing the same damn thing. They almost killed her a couple of times with their constant insistence that the next drug was the one that would fix everything. She trusted them with her life but I will not.
I’m ranting about doctors because I spent yesterday afternoon being manhandled by the new and improved healthcare system. Obamacare cost me my doctor of fifteen years when he threw up his hands last year, sold his practice, and left the country. I really wish I could have gone with him.
I arrived yesterday to go through an annoying series of blood tests which are required every time I turn around. I arrived early being the obedience dumb ass that I am and then sat for forty minutes while I waited for a computer person to enter my name into a freaking computer. Big surprise, they had no record of my blood test request or my upcoming doctors appointment. My obedient behavior became a thing of the past as I intimidated everyone involved to pull their heads out of their collective asses and get their act together. After another half hour I was advised that my doctors appointment I thought was scheduled for next week had been changed. Oops, no one sent me an email or letter telling me that. After much bitching and complaining on my part they agreed to fast-track my blood work to have it ready for my newly scheduled appointment tomorrow at 10am.
I had a surly and annoying young lady stick me and remove a number of tubes of my beautiful red blood. She was in quite the mood about something but decided to be an asshole toward me. Little did she know that I was once married for a very long time and that my-ex wife made her look like an freaking amateur when it came to pissing me off.
It’s now tomorrow and I’ve just returned from my annual doctors appointment All my numbers were perfect but he insisted on giving me the old one fingered prostate exam while a female assistant looked on. She was hot enough to be one of my hundreds of sexual fantasies but not after today. That ship has sailed. He then announced that he had an early Christmas gift for me this year. He’ll be scheduling me for my fifth colonoscopy in the last 9 years. My ass seemed to be very popular today for some reason.
Just to reiterate, I hate effing doctors, Medicare, Obamacare and Obama as well.
Well the better-half is finally on her way to Delaware. Her getting ready for a five day trip was much like the American soldiers preparing for D-Day. She packed everything except possibly a bazooka and c-rations. She spent five whole days packing for a five day trip which meant a minor crisis every hour or so for me to deal with. “Where’s this thing? Where’s that thing? Where did you put my recharger? My phone isn’t working properly, fix it! Why isn’t this GPS thingee working? It doesn’t work the way it’s supposed to.” Man, I’ll need at least five days of rest to recover from her packing.
This posting will be all over the place today. A little of this and a little of that. For instance, I’m always telling everyone how much I love living in Maine and thankfully I found something that will explain it clearly for you. We have an abundance of natural wonders here but it’s the people that keep me interested. We were riding around a few days ago and came upon what could be called the Mt. Rushmore of Maine. Check it out.
This is a perfect example of free thinking Americans voicing their opinion without fear of reprisals from the liberal left. I appreciate their sentiment as well as the perfect way in which it was displayed. Subtle but effective. Here are a couple of close-ups so you can read the signs a little easier.
‘More Obama Fans’
‘One of These Thrones is for Biden too!’
Now let’s talk freedom of expression and mailboxes. I created a photo book a few years ago with dozens of photo’s of unusual Maine mailboxes. The Fed’s have a whole list of requirements for people who install a mailbox. It must be so many inches high, so many inches from the road, and God forbid if it’s not an approved US Government design. They may threaten you with a vicious bureaucratic note if you don’t obey their rules which just scares the hell out of no one.
I also love those little threatening notes they occasionally drop in my box or attach to my door that informs me that they’ll stop delivering my mail unless I clear the snow and ice from my around my mailbox. It’s Maine for God’s sake. There are times when I can’t even find it to clear the snow away. It’s either buried under three feet of frozen concrete or the town’s snowplow has removed it from my property and dropped into the yard of a neighbor a few hundred yards away. The fact that it will be in five or six pieces doesn’t seem to concern them either. The citizens of Maine apparently didn’t get that important government memorandum on mailbox requirements and if they did, they ignored it. I continue to find many mailboxes which violate all of the rules of the USPS which just makes me smile. It’s just a simple and direct way for Mainer’s to throw the big middle finger to the Fed’s.
Freedom is everywhere in Maine as reflected by this sign at a local biker bar. It just isn’t necessary to make up an impressive and phony name for your band. Just call things exactly what they are. Who wouldn’t drive a few miles to hear this group perform and throw back a few drinks as well.
LET FREEDOM RING
It’s raining like hell this morning so I decided to spend this time in bed enjoying the sounds and smells of the day. I like walking in the rain almost as much as I enjoy listening to it but not today. Today is going to be a computer day for me because I have a number of things that need to be accomplished.
In my last posting I made an attempt to create some discussion with my list of ten questions. While a good number of people visited and read the posting the response to my request for their answers apparently fell on deaf ears. Not one single response was disappointing as hell but not totally unexpected. At least I tried to wake up a few brain cells out there and just so you know, I will try again.
Today is the day I begin learning how to use the new software package I recently purchased. Adobe Photoshop Elements 12 & Adobe Premiere Elements 12 has been purchased and installed and await my full attention for the next six hours or so. I’m also awaiting the arrival from Amazon of a 400 page User’s Manual I was forced to buy because those cheap bastards at Adobe don’t feel that including a Users Manual is cost effective. Both of the programs are massive and without a manual you might never ever know all of the bells and whistles they contains. I’m praying that the manual arrives today or tomorrow so I can spend the next few days experimenting with the software. I need to get up to speed as quickly as possible because I have projects that will be much easier to complete once I’ve gotten a little hands-on experience.
This week another of my goals is to begin preparations for my first canning class of 2014. A number of my better-half’s friends are interested in learning how the process works so they can eventually can their own pickles. With so many requests I decided to do a class that would take care of them all at once. I’m just a week or so away from canning my first batch of pickles this year so I’ve invited a group of them to get together, watch me do a batch, take appropriate notes, and return home to attempt to do some of their own. I’ve tried to convince them that canning is a simple process but they appear very skeptical. I also make myself available 24/7 for emergency telephone calls when the occasional mishap arises. I’ve done a few one-on-ones in the past which were very successful so this should be a breeze.
I’ve been cleaning and preparing jars for a few weeks because it’s going to get very busy very quickly and I need to keep ahead of things. I’m estimating we’ll be canning 40-60 pints of hot Bread & Butter pickles, 20 pints of hot Mustard Dills, and 15-20 pints of hot Kosher Dills. Add in another 30-50 half pints of assorted jellies, jams, and relishes and you can see that we’ll be canning our asses off for six weeks or so. If I do say so myself, we make some damn good pickles, a truly excellent variety of jams, and the relishes can speak for themselves. Many of the folks who request our pickles return the jars for a refill and as you can see I have them everywhere.
Fun, fun, and more fun.
Every once in a while I find something that catches my eye. This photograph is of a entry gate that leads to an old and extremely run down house located next door to nowhere important. I saw it a few months ago as we were driving around looking for anything interesting. I didn’t stop for the shot then but I did a few days ago when we happened upon it once again. I found it simple and fascinating.
It’s been an interesting few days. Shortly after posting earlier in the week I came down with a truly nasty 24 hour stomach virus. I won’t get into the stinky and smelly details but that virus targeted areas of my body that shouldn’t be messed with. All of my activities ceased immediately except for staying within running distance of any bathroom facilities. I was on the mend within twenty-four hours and regained my appetite and my antagonistic attitude rather quickly.
Just when I thought things were improving my better-half said those infamous words you never want to hear, “I think I’m getting a sore throat and my stomach hurts.” It’s only this morning that she was able to get out bed and go to work. She’s one of those women who seems more macho that most men when it comes to missing work. She gets some sort of rush by being able to make it to work regardless of the circumstances. I was like that once but times for me have changed, thank God.
Since I’ve been staying close to home these last few days I thought I’d spend a little time photo documenting every type and color of flower in our gardens that we’ve been blessed with this season. I was more than a little surprised at the variety myself. Here are a few samples of some of those flowers with more to follow as they begin blooming.
Believe me when I tell you there’s no better way to spend an hour or two each week by walking through the garden and photographing everything. It’s a really tough life I have but you know someone’s gotta do it.
This has been a week of rain then sunshine then rain and on and on and on. The humidity is constantly high and sleeping is a real challenge. It certainly limits my activities to hanging around the house and driving my better-half over the edge. It must be true because she tells me that at least twice a day. What to do, what to do. My only solution is to take my camera and go forth to play in the woods. Maybe it was time for a quick check of my favorite swamps to look in on the dragonfly situation. With this much humidity and heat there should be a large increase in their numbers (I hope). It’s a reasonably short drive so I loaded up my gear and took off.
I arrived at the sanctuary, parked the car, and stepped into the world of sweat bees, gnats, and those little mites that congregate around your head by the thousands. I used half a can of the strongest bug spray I could find and it was of little help.
It’s common practice here in Maine for the horse farmers to cover the eyes of their horses with netting to keep the bugs from driving the horses crazy. If it works for horses then why can’t it work for me. I reached into my bag of goodies and found some netting made specifically to be worn over a baseball cap and then tied tightly at the neck. It’s not a perfect solution but it will keep the gnats in the swamp out of my eyes and ears. The rest of my body is up for grabs but even those damn mosquitos and ticks have to eat too. Without a doubt I’ll be their lunch entrée.
On my way to the swamp I have to pass through a few acres of milkweed plants. They’re just coming into bloom and in a few short weeks will be covered with visiting Monarch butterflies. They love laying their eggs on the milkweed plants which contain a chemical that keeps predators from eating their eggs. I’ll be back in a few weeks for their arrival which promises a gang of excellent macro photographs.
I arrived in the swamp covered with swarms of bugs and discovered to my delight a reasonable number of dragonflies flitting around. I’ve found if you stand still in one place for a few minutes they tend to approach to check you out. These pictures were of a few that seemed to be purposely posing for me.
I lasted almost an hour but the bugs made staying any longer impossible. I’ll be better prepared on my next visit and hope to obtain more photos of dragonflies and damselflies. The variety of colors is absolutely amazing.
***WILDLIFE ALERT ***
(Sarcasm On) This Wildlife Alert arrived on my desk today from my better-half and I promised her I’d put out A BOTA (Be On the Lookout) alert for a herd of those terribly dangerous and ruthless gourd eating deer. She plans on hanging some sort of crazy noise-maker in the garden to scare them off. Truthfully we’ve had deer eat almost everything in the garden at one time or another but not a single one has ever munched on a gourd. She has a strange attraction for gourds which I still don’t understand. Maybe I’ll build a blind for her to sit in near the garden and she can jump out in the middle of the night to scare the crap out of them. I promise to get lots of pictures if she actually does it. (Sarcasm Off)
Every guy loves ogling beautiful women and that includes me. It’s been that way forever and I don’t see it changing any time soon. Woman claim to dislike being stared at but do they really mean it? Victoria Secret’s success has made that claim a little less believable. I’ve had them try to tell me that they wear makeup, revealing clothing, and expensive hair styling just to look good for other women. Do you buy that? Not a chance. They want to be stared at, whistled at, and ogled just as much as the men enjoy doing it. It’s that famous “dance” that the sexes do in a age old mating ritual. If you look good then your choice of mates increases exponentially.
I must say that it’s a fine line for a woman to walk. If you get too revealing you look like a slut. Most guys looking for a serious relationship wouldn’t be drawn to the slutty woman but also wouldn’t hesitate making the occasional booty call to one after a night of drinking and increasing horniness. What most women don’t seem to get is the desire by many men for an attractive, well behaved, and friendly woman who sheds those attributes upon entering the bedroom and turns into a sex crazed slut. I know it isn’t rally fair to all of you women but unfortunately it remains true.
There’s a rule of thumb you’ve probably heard, KISS (Keep It Simple Stupid”. Over the years I’ve developed five simple and easy rules for women to help them have a modicum of success in attracting a possible long term mate.
Rule 1 – Look good but not too good. Just slutty enough to make his mouth water and to keep his fantasies percolating.
Rule 2 – Be flirty but not too dirty or off color. Just a hint of the “bad girl” is usually enough to drive most men over the edge.
Rule 3 – Drink enough but don’t get sloppy drunk. No one wants to have the woman they’re hoping to have sex with throwing up on them. Don’t laugh, it’s happened to me.
Rule 4 – Lay off that constant stream of foul language except in the bedroom. Be coy at first and then turn into that bedroom slut he’s been hoping and searching and wishing for.
Rule 5 – You may be more sexually experienced than he is but don’t show off. Save some of your better moves for later when he’ll thinks he’s the reason you’ve decided to do them.
I’ve always been partial to women who look good but not too good. I love a woman who wears her hair long because I find long hair very sexy. It’s an old Victorian fantasy of mine where you spend a great deal of time peeling off layers of clothing and after all that work she lets down her hair down and you’re good to go. Gives me the shivers just thinking about it.
“With the narrower silhouette, emphasis was placed on the bust, waist and hips. A corset was used to help mold the body to the desired shape.
“Skirts were supported by a hybrid of the bustle and crinoline or hooped petticoat sometimes called a “crinolette”. The crinolette itself was quickly superseded by the true bustle, which was sufficient for supporting the drapery and train at the back of the skirt.”
“The Victorian Version of the J-LO look.”
Well back to topic. I’ve had dealings with a few women in my life and they’ve fallen into any number of different categories. Beautiful, fugly, and all points in between. Each one was a totally different experience, some good and some really effing bad. They can try and deny their innate desire to attract men but down deep in their hearts they know its the truth. They want a good man in a good relationship with kids, a dog, and the white picket fence. After all of that they also want to be the biggest slut they can be in the bedroom and have a man who’ll appreciate it.
SURPRISE LADIES . . . THAT’S WHAT WE WANT TOO
The monsoons of Arthur have finally left this area and are on their way to Nova Scotia. Three and a half days of rain were badly needed but OMG. My nice little garden and the better-half’s flower gardens look like the jungles of Vietnam. It’s hard to believe that they can grow so quickly when doused with copious amounts of water. You’ll see with today’s photo’s that I may need a machete to get around in there.
I planted a variety of kale plants this year that a week ago were four inches high. Today they measuring almost 14 inches. I’ll be harvesting them sooner than expected and the freezer will be filled very quickly.
The herbs are out of control as well and it’s obvious I’ll be able to restock a large part of my dried herb collection and be more prepared than ever for the coming Winter.
I harvested almost three pounds of rhubarb seeds yesterday which I’m slowly drying in one of the cold frames. After a few days of direct sunlight they should be ready for storage until next Spring. I plan on planting as many as possible around the property because my goal is to have a huge patch of rhubarb within the next two years.
The better-half’s flowers are beginning to bloom everywhere. The assorted colors of these day lilies makes picture taking a real pleasure. I especially love the dark red ones.
I normally plant three zucchini plants each year and harvest probably 5 or 6 zucchini’s per plant. This year I was given a great deal on plants and ended up buying a few extra. As you can see I’ll be knee deep in zucchini in just a few weeks.
I’d like to keep posting but I’ve got three hours of weeding and general maintenance in that garden. The better-half returns tomorrow morning from her trip and I’d like to get these tasks out of the way before then.
I’m sitting here quietly writing this blog on the 4th of July as I try to do every year. I’m thinking about my late grandfather (born on the Fourth of July) and whose birthday we always celebrated along with the country’s. All too often in the past I’ve fallen into the flag waving routine as many others do. I love this country and as always I’m proud to be an American (95% of the time) even though Democrats and Liberals make 100% an unreachable goal. I can accept that because the alternative is unacceptable.
I think on this day we should all be flying the flag and celebrating our independence. As screwed up as we seem to be at times I still wouldn’t want to be living anywhere else. If you do, then your dumber than I imagined. I’ve traveled inside and outside the country enough to know the majority of our people don’t realize just how good they have it. Move to the Middle East, maybe try Africa, how about Indonesia, or even Europe. Count me out. We may have some issues here but compared to the rest of this miserable planet we’ve got it made. Period, end of discussion.
I decided to forego photographs and heart rendering monologues about the United States because they’ve become a bit trite over the years. And secondly no one really gives a damn about what I think anyway. I’d rather hear directly from our forefathers and a few others who seem to have understood things a lot better than most. Listen to them…..
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The American Revolution was a beginning, not a consummation. ~Woodrow Wilson
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Freedom has its life in the hearts, the actions, the spirit of men and so it must be daily earned and refreshed – else like a flower cut from its life-giving roots, it will wither and die. ~Dwight D. Eisenhower
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In the truest sense, freedom cannot be bestowed; it must be achieved. ~Franklin D. Roosevelt
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This, then, is the state of the union: free and restless, growing and full of hope. So it was in the beginning. So it shall always be, while God is willing, and we are strong enough to keep the faith. ~Lyndon B. Johnson
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America is much more than a geographical fact. It is a political and moral fact – the first community in which men set out in principle to institutionalize freedom, responsible government, and human equality. ~Adlai Stevenson
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May the sun in his course visit no land more free, more happy, more lovely, than this our own country! ~Daniel Webster
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Where liberty dwells, there is my country. ~Benjamin Franklin
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The winds that blow through the wide sky in these mounts, the winds that sweep from Canada to Mexico, from the Pacific to the Atlantic – have always blown on free men. ~Franklin D. Roosevelt
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My God! How little do my countrymen know what precious blessings they are in possession of, and which no other people on earth enjoy! ~Thomas Jefferson
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We need an America with the wisdom of experience. But we must not let America grow old in spirit. ~Hubert H. Humphrey
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Those who deny freedom to others deserve it not for themselves. ~Abraham Lincoln
I never thought I’d see the day when Bill Clinton was quoted on this blog because I wasn’t a big fan when he was in office and for the most part I’m still not. My grandfather always told that “Even a blind man can find a pearl once in a while”. Here’s Slick Willy’s one and only pearl:
There is nothing wrong with America that cannot be cured by what is right with America. ~William J. Clinton
And finally a quote from my all time favorite quoter who frequently offers up a taste of good old American common sense:
“I prefer liberty with danger to peace with slavery.” ~Anonymous
HAPPY BIRTHDAY AMERICA & YOU TOO GRAMPS
I’ve been a lover of good Mexican food for years and after meeting my better-half (a good old down home Texas girl) and traveling to Texas on a number of occasions I was hooked. During my recent trip to Dallas I was taken to this Mexican restaurant by my nephew who assured me I would be getting authentic Mexican fish tacos. I was excited for the meal and as we arrived I could hardly wait.
True to his word the fish taco’s were to die for. We ate two huge plates of tacos, chili beans, and rice. They drizzled an outrageous jalapeño cream sauce over the tacos that was so damn good it makes me hungry just thinking about it. Four gigantic peach margaritas later and we were destroyed. We slowly and safely made our way home and sat for hours because we just couldn’t move.
They also supplied us with chips and salsa which was good but the Verde sauce was the best. It was not quite a salsa and not quite a sauce. It also wasn’t quite hot enough for me so I decided upon my return to Maine to create a version of my own.
My better-half and I made a visit to a local South of the Border restaurant after my return to fulfill my ongoing taco obsession. It only made me want to create that Verde sauce even more. I thought about it on the way home that night and the next morning I was off to do some early food shopping.
I found the tomatillos, jalapeños, and pickled green chilies to which I added a few spices, some onions, a little jalapeno vinegar and cooked it all until soft. I threw it into a blender and liquefied it for five minutes and OMG. My eyes began watering as soon as I took the lid off of the blender.
Later that day the better-half made a pan of enchiladas over which I sprinkled a cautious amount of the hottest thing I’ve ever created. It was mean, nasty, smoking hot, and freaking delicious.
I was able to can almost a dozen jars of this sauce and it will definitely be used sparingly and as often as possible. I’m already planning the next batch so I can turn down the heat a little to make it palatable for all those so-called lovers of hot food who I’m pretty sure wouldn’t be able to handle this sauce.
“The Finished Product”
everyuselessthing.com 