I thought I’d start the day off by being a wise ass. Let me set this up by explaining that I detest Country & Western music. I’m not entirely sure why but I do. My better-half is addicted to it resulting in hundreds of hours that I’ve spent gritting my teeth and cringing over the constant barrage of alleged music spewing from Alexa. I’ve been requesting for months my need for a really expensive noise-cancelling headset. Like my dad always said, “Wish in one hand and sh*t in the other, see which one fills up the quickest.” That means if I really want a noise cancelling-headset, I’ll be buying it myself. To further explain my dislike of C & W music let me supply you with a number of song titles from that genre and then ask yourself this question, “Is this real music or just a poor parody much like something from Weird Al Yankovic.
I’m, Gonna Hire a Wino to Decorate Our Home” David Frizzell
“She’s Actin’ Single (I’m Drinkin’ Doubles)” Gary Stewart
“Now I Lay Me Down to Cheat” David Allen Coe
“She got the Goldmine (I Got the Shaft)” Jerry Reed
“You’re the Reason Our Kids Are Ugly” Loretta Lynn
“I Cheated Me Right Out of You” Moe Bandy
“The Lord Knows I’m Drinkin'” Cal Smith
“You’re Out Doing What I’m Here Doing Without” Gene Watson
“Divorce Me COD” Merle Travis
“I’m the Only Hell (Momma Ever Raised” Johnny Paycheck
Why is it that everybody seems to love celebrities. It’s something that’s puzzled me for many years and I still don’t understand the fascination. During my lifetime I’ve met a number of celebrities and after short conversations very few of them were interesting. Underneath all the glitz and glamour and the famous roles that they’ve played, it’s still just a regular old human being playing dress up like they did when they were kids. They have the same problems and issues as all the rest of us except for the fact that a few problems they have are exacerbated by their fame and celebrity. Their worst problem is primarily the use and abuse of drugs as reflected by the endless list of OD fatalities. I dug into my archives again today and picked up a few trivia items concerning celebrities from the early Hollywood years. For those of you that love celebrities and can’t live without TMZ and the effing Kardashian clan, you have my sympathies. You should stop reading now and go have a cup of coffee or a stiff drink. That’s what’s I’m going to do.
An old-time actress, Ethel Barrymore, was the first actress to have a theater named after her.
A great actor James Cagney made his first stage appearance as a chorus girl in a show called Every Sailor.
In the famous Alfred Hitchcock movie Psycho, the blood in the famous shower scene was actually chocolate syrup.
Child actress Shirley Temple appeared in her first film, The Red-Haired Alibi, at the age of three.
Yule Brenner was famous for his shiny bald head but most people who watched his movies had no idea his real hair was actually a dark brown.
Jimmy Durante of the famous gravelly voice and large nose insured his nose at Lloyd’s of London.
In the 1968 film, 2001: A Space Odyssey, the out-of-control computer HAL, is taught to sing the song, A Bicycle Built for Two.
Dolly Parton and her two wonderfully round and soft friends once had the name, Booby Trap as a CB handle.
Famous leading man Sean Connery represented Scotland in the 1952 Mr. Universe contest.
Elizabeth Taylor’s film career started at the age of 10 in a low-brow comedy called There’s One Born Every Minute, which also featured former Our Gang star, Carl (Alfalfa) Switzer.
As you can see most of the celebrity gossip from the good old days isn’t nearly as juicy as what we’re dealing with today. I just wish I had the power to bundle up all of the Kardashians (including big Daddy/Mommy Jenner), all of their associates and children and lovers and ex-lovers and husbands and ex-husbands, and dump them all back into the 1920’s. If only wishing made it so.
How old are you? It’s a valid question that most people ask about a stranger when discussing them with a third-party, “He’s about 20 years old.”. People who are in their 20’s think people in their 30’s are old while people in their 30’s think people in their 50’s are old. It’s all relative and silly but we do it all the time without really thinking about it. In my case I think anyone younger than 60 is just a stupid kid and that should show you how really stupid it is to judge a person by their age. Today’s post is going to list some interesting accomplishments by the age of the person doing them. Using age as way to judge someone is just ridiculous as these examples will show you.
At the Age of 1
Mary, of the House of Stewart, became Queen of Scotland.
Brooke Shields was selected as the Ivory Snow baby.
At the Age of 2
Judy Garland launches her stage career.
Isabella II ascends to the Spanish throne.
At the Age of 3
Albert Einstein speaks for the first time.
Alice Liddell first meets Charles Dodgson (pen name of Lewis Carol) who later used her as inspiration to write Alice’s Adventures in Wonderland.
At the Age of 4
Malcolm Little (who later changed his name to Malcolm X) watches as his family’s home was burned to the ground by members of the Ku Klux Klan.
Bob Hope emigrates from England to the United States
At the Age of 5
Devora Wilson, Mountain climber, scales a 4000-foot peak.
Christopher Robin Milne hears the first “Winnie the Pooh” story, with himself as the main character, made up by his father, A. A.
At the Age of 6
Wolfgang Amadeus Mozart gives keyboard concerts across Europe.
Shirley Temple receives an honorary Oscar for her contribution to film.
Ron Howard stars as Opie in TV’s, The Andy Griffith Show.
At the Age of 7
Helen Keller, blind and deaf, master’s a vocabulary of 625 words.
Carol Brown, who travels more than an hour daily to attend a distantschool because as a black she is denied admission to the local all-white school, motivates her father to file a lawsuit, resulting in the landmark Brown V. Board of Education Supreme Court decision which finds public-schoolsegregation to be unconstitutional.
😉😉😉
My Credentials
Age 1 – Flung my full diaper at my mother.
Age 2 – Spoke my first word (Shit!)
Age 3 – Drew my first tree.
Age 4 – Threw up on my sister.
Age 5 – Drank my first drink of alcohol (bottle of perfume)
Age 6 – Ran away from school (police found me later)
If you’ve read this blog at all you know I consistently use famous quotations from famous people to help make a point. Over the years having all of those quotes available has made my life much easier. Not all quotes are complementary, and I found almost as many nasty and mean quotes as good ones. Here are some quotes that some people probably wish they hadn’t made. You be the judge…
“Suburbia is where the developer bulldozes out the trees, then names the streets after them.” Bill Vaughn
“You have set up in New York Harbor a monstrous idol which you call Liberty. The only thing that remains to complete the monument is to put on its pedestal the inscription written by Dante on the gates of Hell: “All hope abandon, ye who enter here.” George Bernard Shaw
“St. Laurent has excellent taste. The more he copies me, the better taste he displays.” Coco Chanel
“Everyone wants to understand painting. Why don’t they try to understand the singing of the birds? People love the night, a flower, everything which surrounds them without trying to understand. But painting – that they must understand.” Pablo Picasso
“There are moments when art attains almost the dignity of manual labor.” Oscar Wilde
This next section concerns a prolific contributor to every subject imaginable: Anonymous. I truly enjoy these mean and nasty unidentified criticizers.
“Critics are the stupid who discuss the wise.”
“An architect is two percent gentleman and ninety-eight percent renegade car salesman.”
“The Eiffel Tower in Paris is the Empire State Building after taxes.”
“A modern artist is one who throws paint on a canvas, wipes it off with a cloth, and sells the cloth.”
“They couldn’t find the artist, so they hung the picture.”
“Poetry is living proof that rhyme doesn’t pay.”
“Dancing is the perpendicular expression of a horizontal desire.”
I thought I’d start this year with a most interesting writer and poet, Edgar Allen Poe. I was introduced to him in high school way back in the days of covered wagons and wild Indians (that was sarcasm). His poetry was spooky, dark, and mysterious which drew me to it immediately. What 15-year-old kid wouldn’t love that? As with most school systems of the time they offered only a few of his writings for classroom work and discussion. The Raven stands as one of his greatest works and we were required to read and memorize certain passages to get a passing grade and then we moved on to other things. My second Poe favorite was Anabel Lee. A love story for the ages except Anabel doesn’t long survive the experience. The flow of his words in that poem grabbed me immediately and I was able to quote some of its passages for years and occasionally still do.
As I aged and was able to read more about Poe and his strange approach to life, the more attention I began to pay to poetry in general. I still think that actual world class poets are few and far between, but Poe was the real deal. Along with Emily Dickenson they are my two favorites. I especially liked Poe because he wrote what he felt and really did nothing to pander to the masses. In my opinion that’s what gives his works real meaning and weight.
Another of Poe’s works has slowly over the years made its way to the top of my favorites list, even more so than the Raven and Anabel Lee. I stumbled on to it quite by accident years ago and it has become one of those rare things that periodically calls to me to be read again. As with all of Poe’s poetry it’s best read while wrapped in a warm blanket on a dark and stormy night by candlelight.
I heard the bells on Christmas Day Their old, familiar carols play, And wild and sweet The words repeat Of peace on earth, good-will to men!
And thought how, as the day had come, The belfries of all Christendom Had rolled along The unbroken song Of peace on earth, good-will to men!
Till ringing, singing on its way, The world revolved from night to day, A voice, a chime, A chant sublime Of peace on earth, good-will to men!
Then from each black, accursed mouth The cannon thundered in the South, And with the sound The carols drowned Of peace on earth, good-will to men!
It was as if an earthquake rent The hearth-stones of a continent, And made forlorn The households born Of peace on earth, good-will to men!
And in despair I bowed my head; “There is no peace on earth,” I said; “For hate is strong, And mocks the song Of peace on earth, good-will to men!”
Then pealed the bells more loud and deep: “God is not dead, nor doth He sleep; The Wrong shall fail, The Right prevail, With peace on earth, good-will to men.”
I’ve been blogging now for more than fourteen years, and I’ve tried to be as interesting as possible as I spread as much useless informationthat I could find to as many readers as possible. Initially I spent my first four years writing a political blog that was interesting, but all of the lame and badly written death threats from either side of the aisle convinced that I was wasting my time. Since the changeover to a more easy-going and friendly blog, blogging has returned to being fun. Now it’s time for another sidestep from my normal routine to an even friendlier and more fun format. “HUMOR”. It’s probably one of the few areas that almost everyone can enjoy whether it’s from jokes (both clean or dirty), limericks (both clean or dirty), humorous trivia, or any other means to help you grin, smile, laugh, and lighten your day. I’ll give it a go for the remainder of this year with the hope it will keep you coming back for more.
“Joke of the Day”
A farmer sent his 15-year-old son into town and, as a birthday present, handed him a duck. “See if you can get a girl in exchange for this,” he said. The lad met a prostitute along the way and said, “It’s my birthday and all I’ve got is this duck. Would you be willing to fuck? “Sure,” she said, “I’m sentimental about birthdays. And besides, I’ve never owned a duck.” Afterwards, she said, “Do you know for a 15-year-old boy, you’re quite a good lay. If you’d like to do it again, I’ll give you back your duck.” “Sure,” said the boy. When his pleasurable work was through, he left the village to return home. While he was crossing the main street in the village, the duck suddenly flew out of his hands and was hit by a passing beer truck. The driver of the truck felt so sorry for the boy and gave him two dollars. When he got home, his father asked, “How did you make out?” The son said, “I got a duck, a fuck, a duck for a fuck, and two dollars for a duck.”
In keeping with the new format here is the “Limerick of the Day” which should pay homage to a former lecherous President and his BFF:
Many years ago, I started this blog, and I chose its name very carefully. I fully intended then and still continue now to supply all of you with as much useless information as I can possibly find. Today I’d like to test the trivia knowledge of all of you fans of celebrities and Hollywood. This information was gleaned from a long-lost trivia book I stumbled upon in an old trunk I’ve had in storage for years. The first printing of this book was in February of 1975 at a total cost per copy of $1.25. I consider myself a trivia aficionado but the answers to these retro-Hollywood questions left me clueless. Maybe you’ll have more luck.
Name one of the two actresses who starred as the singing and dancing Dolly Sisters in the 1945 movie of that title? Betty Grabel was Jenny and June Haver was Rosie
What comedian appears in “Whistling in Brooklyn,” “The Fuller Brush Man,” and “Susan Slept Here”? Red Skelton
What does W. C. Fields give away in the comedy film “The Pharmacist”? Large vases.
What was cowboy sidekick George (Gabby) Hayes known as when he appeared with Bill Boyd in the Hopalong Cassidy movie series? “Windy”
What is Shirley Temple’s middle name? Jane
What is the title of the movie in which Charlie Chaplin falls in love with a blind flower girl? “City Lights”
Who portrays the “Invisible Man” in the 1933 movie of that title, and what is his occupation? Claude Rains played the role of a mad scientist named Griffin.
In the original MGM movie “The Champ” tells the story of an old prizefighter and his young son. Name the actors who played the two roles. Wallace Beery and Jackie Cooper, respectively.
During World War I, Humphrey Bogart served in the U.S. Navy. His ship was shelled, and this caused what to happen to him physically? It caused his upper lip to be partially paralyzed, resulting in a tightly set mouth and a lisp.
What longtime star, whose career began in 1925, was actually named Billie Cassin and was also known on the stage as Lucile LeSueur? Joan Crawford
Once again, it’s time for a small collection of somewhat strange riddles from my favorite raunchy decade the 1980’s. That decade wasn’t near as bad as the 1960’s but it’s a damn close second for raunchiness. Enjoy this short retro trip down mammary lane . . .
Why is a virgin like a balloon? One prick and it’s all over!
Why was the bisexual prizefighter undefeated? He could lick anyone!
Why do girls fart after they pee? They can’t shake it, so they blow it dry!
How can you tell if Dolly Parton forgot to wear her bra? There are no wrinkles in her face!
What did Adam say when he woke up and was missing a rib? “Something smells fishy around here!”
What does the Lone Ranger do in the men’s room after a big meal? Take a dump, take a dump, take a dump dump dump!
What do you call oral sex in a national park? Old faceful!
What’s a prophylactic? A planned parent hood!
What’s the definition of trust? Two cannibals having oral sex!
How many lesbians does it take to screw in a light bulb? Four. One to screw it in, and three to discuss how it’s so much more gratifying than with a man!
The internet has become famous for anonymous facts claiming to be true as well and out-and-out fake news and scams of all kinds. Here are ten facts that are surprising and amazingly TRUE.
More tickets were sold to see the movie Gone With the Wind in theaters than people living in America at its release.
John Lennon signed the official paperwork formalizing the split of the Beatles while staying at a Disney World hotel.
Yoda from the movie Star Wars, cookie monster from Sesame Street, and Miss Piggy from the Muppet Show were all voiced by the same person.
The leading role in the movie Forrest Gump was originally offered to John Travolta.
Leonardo DiCaprio didn’t draw the sketch of Kate Winslet in Titanic, but director James Cameron did.
Gene Roddenberry originally wanted Patrick Stewart to wear a wig for his iconic Star Trek role as Captain Jean-Luc Picard.
Stephen Spielberg submitted Schindler’s List as his final project for film school.
Brad Pitt’s first acting gig was dressing up as a giant chicken.
The NFL, NBA, and MLB have all had one player win the championship MVP while playing for the losing team.
Violet Jessop was the one passenger who was aboard both the Titanic and its sister ship the Britannic when they were sunk.
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