As I was rummaging through my collection of books I discovered one I forgot I had. It was buried beneath a pile of other useless information. It’s called Uncle John’s Bathroom Reader and I gave it a quick read. Being a former cop and an employee of the Maine Criminal Justice System, I tend to read things about the courts and laws before anything else and I’m glad I did. The Bathroom Reader made me aware of some strange and ridiculous laws from around the country. Here are just a few.
The law prohibits barbers in Omaha, Nebraska, from shaving the chests of customers.
In St. Louis Missouri, it’s illegal for you to drink beer out of a bucket while you’re sitting on a curb.
In cotton Valley, Louisiana, law forbids cows and horses from sleeping in a bakery.
The maximum penalty for double parking in Minneapolis, Minnesota, is working on a chain gang with nothing to eat but bread and water.
In the state of Alabama, it’s illegal to play dominoes on a Sunday.
In Las Vegas Nevada, it’s against the law to pawn your dentures.
If your 88 years of age or older, it’s illegal for you to ride your motorcycle in Idaho Falls, Idaho.
In California, it’s illegal to hunt whales from your automobile. It’s also against the law to use your dirty underwear as a dust rag.
It’s illegal to sleep with your boots on in Tulsa, Oklahoma.
In Natoma, Kansas it’s illegal to throw knives at men wearing striped suits.
These 10 items are mild compared to some of the others I’ve seen over the years. We Americans are great at passing a law after law but very lax in eliminating silly crap like this from the rolls. I’m going to make an effort to finds a few that are even crazier than the ones you just read.
Here is your daily collection of somewhat interesting useless information. Read, learn, and pass it along to friends, family and coworkers. I’m sure they’ll appreciate receiving them as much as you do receiving it from me. LOL
Too much coffee can kill you. A lethal dose of caffeine for the average adult is approximately 10 grams, or the equivalent of drinking between 50 and 200 cups of coffee in rapid succession.
The largest human cell is the female ovum. The smallest is the male sperm.
Mosquito repellent doesn’t repel mosquitoes. It only blocks their sensors so that they don’t know you’re there.
Members of the U.S. Congress are the world’s highest-paid legislators.
The bristled toothbrush originated in China around the year 1498. The bristles, fixed to a bamboo or bone handle, were neck hairs from Siberian boars.
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One of the holiest Christian holidays is named after a pagan goddess. The word Easter derives from the Anglo-Saxon goddess Eostre, who governed the vernal equinox.
In 1659, the Massachusetts General Court ordered a five shilling fine to be paid by anyone caught celebrating Christmas. The ban was revoked in 1681.
In his role as James Bond, the super spy, Sean Connery wore a toupee to hide his receding hairline.
Artists have more sexual partners. Researchers suggest that creative people excel at attracting mates, acting on sexual impulses, and doing more than their share of ensuring species survival because they often display “schizotypal” characteristics which are the positive side of schizophrenic personality traits.
Wedding rings date back thousands of years. The ancient Romans and Egyptians both believe that a vein called the vena amoria ran directly from the ring finger to the heart.
I’m feeling in a very ‘limericky’ state of mind this morning. It’s cold, gray, and nasty so a day sitting at the computer is called for. After perusing through my achieves I decided on a few fairly clean limericks based on accidental deaths or injuries. Rather than be off color I decided on weird and these got it covered and then some.
Any day that starts with a visit to an Oncologist is a day that has to get better. Doctors still give me the willies even after all of my cancer related BS. I got a clean bill of health but I still have to go through their annoying little requirements each time I visit. Screw it, no more doctors talk. Let’s smile just a little with a few retro bumper stickers to get started today. Welcome back to the 60’s and 70’s.
EAT YOUR HEART OUT. I’M MARRIED.
LIFE’S TO SHORT TO FEEL GUILTY
BUMPER STICKERS ARE JUST NOT ENOUGH
I’M SO BROKE I CAN’T EVEN PAY ATTENTION
GOD IS COMING AND SHE’S PISSED OFF
Look Out Ladies – Here I come.
I think I had one or two of those on my 1973 orange Gremlin. I sure miss that car. And just for the hell of it here is a rather lengthy epithet from a fine poet in Wolverhampton, Straffordshire, England. I’m guessing this was written sometime between 1845-1855. It’s obvious that the author was no Longfellow.
I thought I would supply all of my female readers with a few interesting historical facts from the early days of women’s rights. These women were the steppingstones that your gender walked on to get where it’s at today. Enjoy the history lesson.
To prove that girls could master such subjects as mathematics and philosophy without detracting from their health or charm, Emma Hart Willard founded the Troy (NY) Female Seminary, in 1821.
Not until 1932 was a woman elected to the Senate. She was Hatty Caraway, Arkansas Democrat. The first appointed woman senator was Rebecca Felton, a Georgia Democrat, in 1922.
No woman held a Presidential cabinet position until 1933, when Francis Perkins became Secretary of Labor and she served a dozen years. Before her appointment in Washington, Ms. Perkins was an industrial commissioner for New York State.
Mercy Otis Warren ( 1728 – 1814), at a time when women rarely played any part in public life, she became a propagandist for the US revolutionary cause, a confidant of John Adams, and an admired ally of most of the Massachusetts rebel leaders. She was a pioneer feminist who argued that women’s alleged weaknesses were due simply to inferior education.
At a time when the education of girls in most prominent families which concentrated on needlework, music, dancing, and languages, Aaron Burr insisted that his daughter, Theodosia, learn serious subjects rather than ornamental ones “to convince the world what neither sex appears to believe – that women have souls!”
For founding a birth-control clinic, in 1917, Margaret Sanger was jailed for a month in a workhouse.
I love reading limericks written in a totally different time and place. Today’s selection is from the war years in England. Even with all of the violence and mayhem going on they took time to maintain a sense of humor. Thank god for sex and it’s related activities, it’s all they had.
Johan Sebastian Bach wrote a great many musical compositions and had a large number of children. In between he practiced on the old spinster which he kept up in the attic.
The government of Athens was Democratic because the people took the law into their own hands.
Solomon, one of David’s sons, had 500 wives and 500 porcupines.
People have sex, while nouns have genders.
The American colonists won the Revolutionary war and no longer had to pay for taxis.
The bowels are A, E, I, O, U, and sometimes Y.
He worked in the government as a civil serpent.
ISN’T EDUCATION WONDERFUL?
A horse divided against itself cannot stand.
The climate of the Sahara desert is so hot that certain areas are cultivated by irritation.
Charles Darwin wrote The Organ of the Species.
When a baby is born, the doctor cuts its biblical chord.
The Greeks invented three kinds of columns: Corinthian, Doric, and Ironic.
It’s hard these days tell tell if what we’re being told is true. Most companies and politicians have developed lying and fake news to new levels of confusion. We spend more time trying to determine if what we’re being told is a lie while the question we originally asked never gets answered. That’s always the grand plan for prevaricators of all kinds, misdirection and the parsing of words and phrases. It’s become an ugly art form for some people. Today’s post contains “true blue” facts collected from my archives with no manipulations or fake and misleading information. Here we go.
The telephone has been one of the most profitable inventions in the history of the United States.
One million threads of fiber optic cable can fit a tube 1/2 inch in diameter.
In 1956, Johnny Mathis decided to record an album instead of answering an invitation to try out for the US Olympic team as a high jumper. It turned out to be a fortuitous choice.
One ounce of pure gold can be made into a wire 50 miles long.
President John Quincy Adams started each summer day with an early morning skinny-dipping in the Potomac River.
America’s modern interstate highway system was designed in the 1950s during the Eisenhower administration. It’s primary purpose was not to enhance casual driving over long distances but to provide for the efficient movement of military vehicles if and when necessary.
The human eye blinks an average of 3.7 million times per year.
Terminal velocity for a human being is approximately 124 mph. To reach this speed, you would have to fall from a height of at least 158 yards or about 1 1/2 football fields.
The Bible contains 32 references to dogs, none to cats.
The word “nerd”comes from Dr. Seuss, who first used the term in his 1950 book If I Ran the Zoo.
I hope you’ve enjoyed reading this information that has not been edited, exaggerated, or just plain covered in BS. Real truths are much more interesting than most of the nonsense we’re being fed by corporate American and the politicians.
It’s officially Fall here in Maine. The temperature has fallen and the winter clothing and extra blankets have been unpacked. I’m sure there are snowblowers all over the state being readied for what is sure to be coming. If that doesn’t depress you a little then nothing will. Today’s post contains limericks written in the late sixties and early seventies and should be considered poetry of a sort. They’ve even been categorized to make it easier for me to choose. Today’s theme will be “Virgins”. Enjoy!
I thought today might be a good time to address the “gouging” that’s been going on with food prices. I thought the oil industry was the champion gouger of all times but once again I was mistaken. I should have known that once it started with gas prices it would eventually spread to damn near everything else. Blame it on inflation or President Biden or on the many business men who seized on an opportunity to put it to the American public once again.
Yesterday I had the misfortune of doing the food shopping for the week. It will be a cold day in hell when I pay $5.50 for a dozen medium sized chicken eggs. I won’t list all of the things that pissed me off but trust me, there were dozens. With that thought in mind I’d like to time travel back to the “good old days” to do some comparison shopping. Welcome to the late 1940’s.
The average salary for a full time employee was $2900.00 and the minimum wage was a whopping $.40 an hour. I’m sure we’d all like to see prices like this again.
Bread (lb) $.14
Bacon (lb) $.77
Butter (lb) $.87
Eggs (1 dozen) $.72
Milk (gal) $.44
Potatoes (10 lb) $.57
Coffee (1 lb) $.51
Sugar (5 lbs) $.47
Gasoline (gal) $.26
Movie Tickets $.36
Postage Stamps $.03
Car $1250.00
Single Family Home $7700.00
Who is to blame? It’s a long list heavily populated by hundreds of politicians and thousands of loyal American businesses and corporations. As always, the regular guy gets stuck paying for their errors in judgement and sheer stupidity. Hooray for love of country and patriotism (sarcasm off).
everyuselessthing.com 