I’ve used the term “Fake News” on a number of occasions over the last few years out of frustration with the Mainstream Media. It now appears that those same networks are getting their proverbial asses kicked and I have only one thing to say – KARMA BABY! It’s about effing time! Sometime ago I discovered a small book titled “Fake News” which probably would help explain why it’s so difficult for me to take most mainstream media types seriously. In my opinion news reporting should be something to help the public to become aware of problems, trends, and occurrences and how to deal with them. They should be the ultimate Public Service announcements which serve a useful purpose. This book was a treasure trove of truly stupid and sensationalistic headlines that make it difficult to take the reporters (news readers) seriously. I’ll list ten actual headlines to make my point.
ALBERT EINSTEINS QUOTE ABOUT LIVING A MODEST LIFE SELLS FOR $1.3 MILLION DOLLARS
SELENA GOMEZ CONFESSES HER BIZARRE CRUSH ON BARNEY THE PURPLE DINOSAUR
ZOO MEERKAT EXPERT SENTENCED OVER ASSAULT ON MONKEY HANDLER
IS IT POSSIBLE TO HAVE SEX WITH A GHOST – BRITISH WOMEN DOES AND LOVES IT.
KFC LAUNCHES DRUMSTICK BATH BOMBS THAT WILL MAKE YOU SMELL LIKE FRIED CHICKEN
CHUNKY RACCOON STUCK IN GRATE RESCUED BY FIREFIGHTERS
MAN ACCUSED OF PEEING ON FAMILY AT METALLICA CONCERT
POLE DANCING COULD BECOME AN OLYMPIC EVENT
SMALL TOWN CONNECTICUT ELECTION DECIDED BY COIN TOSS
PETA WANTS TO FLAVOR TOFU WITH GEORGE CLOONEYS SWEAT
We seem to be in a lull for sports activities since the Super Bowl ended except for maybe Caitlin Clark as she tears up the WNBA. Just to help ease the pain being suffered by all of you fans out there, here’s a short sports quiz on a variety of subjects. Let’s see how well you do and as always, the answers will be found below.
What sport was the first to be filmed – and who filmed it?
How many home runs did Ty Cobb hit in the three World Series in which he played?
What baseball player hit his only career homerun off his brother?
Why did Roberta Gibb Bingay wear a hooded sweatshirt to disguise her appearance in 1966 during the Boston Marathon?
In 1974 what sport banned all lefties from participating?
What baseball legend hit the first two World Series home runs in Yankee stadium?
Who was the only two-time winner of the Heisman trophy?
Who was the only man in major league history to bat over .400 during his official rookie season?
Who was the first American golfer to break 60 on 18 holes in a major tournament?
What immodest two-word statement was on basketball great Michael Jordan’s Illinois vanity license plate?
ANSWERS
Boxing in 1894 by Thomas Edison, None, Joe Niekro in 1976 against his brother Phil, Women were banned prior to 1972, Polo, Casey Stengel-1923, Archie Griffin – 1974 and 1975, Shoeless Joe Jackson-.408 in 1911, Sam Snead-1959, RARE AIR.
Should a poor family and their cow be blamed for the great Chicago fire? Unfortunately, history is usually recorded by people involved in a catastrophe who have been fed unsubstantiated rumors and innuendos. The O’Leary’s cow was oddly enough a falsely accused scapegoat. Here is additional information to help defend and finally exonerate that poor innocent cow.
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On Sunday night, in Chicago, October 8, 1871, a fire broke out in the barn behind the O’Leary family’s home. Over the course of the next two days, the fire destroyed more than 2000 acres of the city, including the business district. Fatalities were estimated at 250, with approximately 100,000 people losing their homes and businesses. Mrs. O’Leary kept a few cows for milk to sell to her neighbors and she took most of the heat for the fire. Even as the fire raged, rumors were spreading that Mrs. O’Leary had been in the barn when one of her cows kicked over a lantern which ignited the hay. In fact, the lady and her husband were in bed at the time.
Investigators blamed the fire on extremely dry weather conditions, strong winds, and wooden streets and sidewalks. The slow response of overworked firefighters was also held responsible. Unfortunately, the story of Mrs. O’Leary and her cow wouldn’t die, forcing the O’Leary family to eventually leave the city taking that poor innocent cow with them. History can be so unfair.
Today I felt like breaking with my long-held tradition to avoid discussing religion. This will be my gift to all of you believers out there. These facts are interesting and at times ridiculous. Get down on your knees say a prayer or two and drink a large glass of holy water. Let’s get started.
A Bible published in England in 1632 left out the word “not” in the seventh commandment, making it read “Thou shalt commit adultery.” It became known as “The Wicked Bible.”
The first Bible to be published in America was in the language of the Algonquian Indians.
The New Testament was originally written in Greek.
At six cubits and a span, Goliath’s height was somewhere between nine feet, three inches and eleven feet, nine inches.
In February of 1964 evangelist Billy Graham broke his lifelong rule against watching television on Sunday – to see the Beatles first appearance on the Ed Sullivan Show.
When W.C. Fields was caught glancing through a Bible, he explained it with, “Looking for loopholes.”
The only domesticated animal not mentioned in the Bible is the cat.
Brigham Young, the famous Morman leader, married his twenty-seventh, and last wife in 1868.
Sonny and Cher, at the start of their careers, appeared in Bible advertisements for the American Bible Society.
Moses was 120 years old when he died. Methuselah lived to be 969 years old, according to Genesis.
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My favorite all time religious trivia fact.
LOL
On November 29, 2000, Pope John Paul II was made an honorary Harlem Globe Trotter.
Being a blogger allows me to cover many areas of our society and to be as truthful as I can possibly be. The government would like everyone to think that we’re all equal, but we aren’t. We still have different classes of individuals based primarily on the amount of money they have or don’t have. Is it fair? No! Will it ever change? Again NO! If it does change, I’ll never live to see it and I doubt seriously if my grandchildren will either. Maybe once the AI Singularity occurs things could change but who knows how? Human beings adapt to their circumstances in weird ways. Give a poor person 10,000,000 dollars and he/she will change dramatically. After a time, they will likely become a bit elitest and arrogant when dealing with people beneath them (monetarily). Today’s post will supply you with a few examples of extremely rich people talking about their lives and being totally unaware that the rest of us aren’t well-to-do.
“Until the age of 12 I sincerely believed that everybody had a house on Fifth Avenue, a villa in Newport and a steam-driven, ocean-going yacht.” Cornelius Vanderbilt Junior
“I have had no real gratification or enjoyment of any sort more than my neighbor on the next block who is worth only half a million.” William K Vanderbilt, who was worth 200 million when he died in 1885.
On a visit to the Holy Land in 1887, Edmund de Rothschild, upon seeing the Wailing Wall in Jerusalem for the first time, commonly inquired if it might be for sale.
During the 1890s, when William Randolph Hearst’s New York Journal was engaged in a nasty circulation war with Joseph Pulitzer’s World, an accountant warned Hearst that he was losing $1 million a year. Hearst thought for a moment and replied, “At that rate I can only last another 30 years.”
After her sentencing . . . to a four-year prison term, Leona Helmsley spent 4 days in a private room at New York Hospital, a hospital to which she had pledged $33 million. The doctors there were very concerned about our health. Her personal doctor declared there would be a “fatal determination” if Leona had to go to jail. No one I have met knows what a “fatal determination” actually means wrote Dennis Dugan of Newsday.
And finally, a quote from my favorite sarcastic wiseass: Mark Twain. Who continues to show his concern for us poorer folks and a little sarcasm for the wealthier.
“I wish to become rich so I can instruct the people and glorify honest poverty a little, like those kindhearted, fat, benevolent people do.”
Well, I’m sitting here in Maine expecting the fourth snowstorm in the last few weeks and freezing my butt off. I really can’t go outside because I’m not a snow bunny, so I sit here at the computer trying to decide what to post. Everyone knows that I love limericks, so I thought I’d take it one step further than usual and attempt to locate a few limericks written prior to 1900. I found a few but needless to say the language is a little coarser than usual. I’m posting them as originally written but I recommend you keep them out of the hands of children. These four limericks were written in the 1880’s.
I just thought today would be a good day to congratulate the Philadelphia Eagles for one of the greatest games I’ve ever had the pleasure of watching in recent years. I’m a dyed-in-the-wool Steelers fan and I’m supposed to hate the Eagles no matter what. The hell with that, they looked unbelievable and unbeatable. The cherry on top of the game was Saquon Barkley becoming the greatest running back in the NFL. No true sports fan can ask for more than that. I won’t even mention all of the ridiculous half-time hip-hop BS because it was an insult to America. I don’t understand why we still wonder why the rest of the world has such a low opinion of us. I’ll end this rant on sports by offering many kudos to the Philadelphia team along with a friendly warning; the Steelers will be back next year and hopefully they’ll remember how it feels to be the reigning champs and play accordingly.
Today’s post is something that’s apparently popular to my readers because every time I post a quiz the responses have been excellent. As anyone that reads this blog knows I’m not a religious person, but today’s quiz is going to test your knowledge about religion. I’m not claiming to have all these answers, but I’ll bet you don’t either. As always, the answers will be shown at the bottom of the post.
Who was the only Englishman to become Pope?
How tall was Goliath, the Philistine giant slain by David with a stone hurled from a sling?
What language is Jesus believed to have spoken?
What was the first town in the United States to be given a Biblical name?
What does the word “amen” really mean?
According to the Bible, how many pearly gates are there?
According to the Bible, on what day did God divide land and water?
How many people were on Noah’s Ark?
How high were the walls of Jericho before they came tumbling down?
In what language was the New Testament originally written?
ANSWERS
Nicholas Breakspear who was Pope Adrian IV, “Six cubits and a span” or 11’9″, Aramaic, Salem-Massachusetts, “So be it”, 12, On the third day, 8, 21 ft, Greek
It’s another cold and miserable day here in Maine and I have no plans to leave the house at all. It goes against my common sense to go outside and freeze my ass off for no good reason. What better way to make a cold and miserable day a little more pleasant than to read some truly interesting yet captivating dirty jokes. Let’s get started.
A woman in her 40’s went to a plastic surgeon for a facelift. The surgeon told her about a new procedure called The Knob in which a small knob is placed on the back of the woman’s head and can be turned to tighten up her skin to produce the effect of a brand-new face lift. Of course, the woman Immediately wanted The Knob. Over the years the woman tightened the knob when needed, the effects were wonderful, and the woman remained young looking and vibrant. After 15 years the woman returned to the surgeon with two problems. “All these years, everything has been working just fine. I’ve had to turn the knob many times and I’ve always loved the results. But now I’ve developed two annoying problems: first, I have these terrible bags under my eyes and The Knob won’t get rid of them.” The doctor looked at her closely and said honey those aren’t bags; those are your breasts. She said, well, I guess there’s no point in asking about this goatee.
Q. What’s the difference between oral sex and anal sex?
A. Oral sex makes your day; anal sex makes your hole weak.
A guy takes his wife to the Doctor. The doc says, well it’s either Alzheimer’s disease or AIDS. “What do you mean?” the guy says. “You can’t tell the difference?” “Yeah, the two look a lot alike in the early stages. Tell you what you should do, drive her way out into the country and kick her out of the car, if she finds her way home, don’t screw her.
The man returns from the tropics feeling very ill. He goes to see his doctor, who immediately rushes him to the hospital to undergo tests. After the tests are completed, the man wakes up to the ringing of a telephone in his private room at the hospital. On the other end of the line, the doctor explains, “We’ve received the results back from your tests. and found that you have an extremely nasty STD called G.A.S.H., which is a combination of gonorrhea, AIDS, syphilis, and herpes. “Oh my God” said the man, what am I going to do?” “Well, we’re going to put you on a diet of pizzas, pancakes and pita bread.” Will that cure me?” asks the man curiously. Well, no, but it’s the only food we can get under the door.
I was sure that the title of this post would draw some immediate attention. It’s well known that this country is addicted to all things sexual. Our TV shows, news programs, and advertisements are filled with sexual content. Sex can also be great fun if done properly and our laws are what helps the society determine that. It’s totally a judgement call but thanks to our colorful history beginning with those god-fearing Pilgrims, sexual matters can be monitored, and the local citizenry makes the determination as to what is considered proper and legal behavior. That’s when things get a little strange. Here is a list of laws addressing sexual behavior from all areas of the country and it doesn’t get much stranger than this. You be the judge.
In Harrisburg, Pennsylvania – It is against the law to have sex with a truck driver in a toll booth.
In Willowdale, Oregon, its unlawful for a husband to talk dirty to his wife during sex.
In Clinton, Oklahoma it is illegal to masturbate while watching two people having sex in a car.
In Newcastle, Wyoming it is illegal to have sex in a butcher shop’s meat locker.
In Ames, Iowa, there is a law against drinking more than three slugs of beer while lying in bed with a woman.
In Kingsville, Texas, there is a law forbidding two pigs from having sex on airport property.
In Ventura County, California there is a law forbidding cats and dogs from having sex without a permit.
In Washington DC, there is a law against having sex in any position but face to face.
In Alexandria, Minnesota, it against the law for a man to have sex with his wife with the stink of onions, sardines, and garlic on his breath.
In Tremonton, Utah, it’s against the law to have sex in an ambulance.
This is a perfect day for a truck load of silliness. First let’s look over some truly stupid and published newspaper headlines.
CHILD’S STOOL GREAT FOR USE IN THE GARDEN
SOVIET VIRGIN LANDS SHORT OF GOAL AGAIN
DEALERS WILL HEAR CAR TALK AT NOON
ENRAGED COW INJURES FARMER WITH AX
MAN RUN OVER BY FREIGHT TRAIN DIES
Next are a few actual classified ads that made me smile.
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Joining nudist colony, must sell washer & dryer – $300.00
Tired of cleaning yourself? Let me do it.
Dog for sale: eats anything and is fond of children.
Used Cars: Why go elsewhere to be cheated? Come here first.
Man wanted to work in explosive factory. Must be willing to travel.
Quotes and Malaprops from actual high school and college exams on the subject of Music Appreciation
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The principal singer of nineteenth-century opera was called the pre-Madonna.
Agnes Dei was a woman composer famous for her church music.
A trumpet is an instrument when it is not an elephant sound.
When electric currents go through them, guitars start making sounds. So would anybody.
Just about any animal skin can be stretched over a frame to make a pleasant sound once the animal is removed.
And finally, a serious quote from a serious Playboy playmate, Barbie Benton.
(Not PETA Approved)
“I believe that minks are raised to be turned into fur coats and if we didn’t wear fur coats, those little animals would never have been born. So is it better not to have been born, or to have lived for one or two years to have been turned into a fur coat. I don’t know.”
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