It’s said that most geniuses are borderline crazy. Herre are a few facts that might interest you.
MARK TWAIN
Mark Twain was born in 1835 in the year when Haley’s Comet could be seen from Earth, and fulfilling his own death prophecy, he died in 1910, the next time the comet cycled near the Earth, 76 years later.
The Museum of Modern Art in New York City hung Henri Matisse’s painting Le Bateau upside down for 47 days before an alert art student noticed the error.
Poet Ezra Pound wrote The Pisan Cantos while imprisoned in a U.S. army camp in Pisa, Italy. He had been arrested for treason because he had broadcasted Fascist propaganda from Italy during World War II. Eventually judged insane, Pound spent 12 years in a Washington D.C. mental hospital before finally returning to Italy.
Novelist Edgar Allan Poe was once a student at the U.S. Military Academy at West Point. Poe flunked out in a particularly spectacular way. An order came for all cadets to show up for a full-dress parade “wearing white belt and gloves, under arms.” He followed the order all too literally, appearing wearing nothing but a belt and carrying his gloves under his naked arms.
EZRA POUND
Robert Lewis Stevenson (1850-1894) wrote Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde, a book of 60,000 words, during a six-day cocaine binge. He was also reported to have been suffering from tuberculosis at the time.
British writers Aldous Huxley and C.S. Lewis both died on November 22nd, 1963, the day of John Kennedy’s assassination.
American author Norman Mailer once stabbed his wife and then wrote a novel about it called An American Dream.
Both William Shakespeare and Miguel de Cervantes, who was considered by some to be Shakespeare’s literary equivalent, died on the same day: April 23, 1616.
Do you consider yourself a truthful person? As a young person I thought I was always truthful but as I aged, I discovered just how wrong I was. There have been many times that I used exaggeration to make a point clearer and more interesting but in fact that is actually being somewhat untruthful. I think I can safely say that everyone at one time or another plays fast and loose with the truth for any number of reasons. Here is a collection of comments and quotations about the truth that make a great deal of sense.
“The trouble with stretching the truth is that it’s apt to snap back.” Anonymous
“Truth is such a rare thing; it is delightful to tell it.” Emily Dickinson
“The man who speaks the truth is always at ease.” Persian Proverb
“If you speak the truth have a foot in the stirrup.” Turkish Proverb
“Truth is the anvil which has worn out many a hammer.” Anonymous
“Everyone loves the truth, but not everyone tells it.” Yiddish Proverb
“Men occasionally stumble over the truth, but most of them pick themselves up and hurry off as if nothing had happened.” Winston Churchill
“Craft must have clothes, but truth lives to go naked.” Thomas Fuller
“Truth is heavy; few therefore can bear it.” Hebrew Proverb
“Seldom any splendid story is wholly true.” Anonymous
And finally, a quote from one of my favorite people: Mark Twain
“When in doubt, tell the truth.“
And here’s one of my own:
“Always tell the truth and do the right thing regardless of the consequences.”
I just thought today would be a good day to congratulate the Philadelphia Eagles for one of the greatest games I’ve ever had the pleasure of watching in recent years. I’m a dyed-in-the-wool Steelers fan and I’m supposed to hate the Eagles no matter what. The hell with that, they looked unbelievable and unbeatable. The cherry on top of the game was Saquon Barkley becoming the greatest running back in the NFL. No true sports fan can ask for more than that. I won’t even mention all of the ridiculous half-time hip-hop BS because it was an insult to America. I don’t understand why we still wonder why the rest of the world has such a low opinion of us. I’ll end this rant on sports by offering many kudos to the Philadelphia team along with a friendly warning; the Steelers will be back next year and hopefully they’ll remember how it feels to be the reigning champs and play accordingly.
Today’s post is something that’s apparently popular to my readers because every time I post a quiz the responses have been excellent. As anyone that reads this blog knows I’m not a religious person, but today’s quiz is going to test your knowledge about religion. I’m not claiming to have all these answers, but I’ll bet you don’t either. As always, the answers will be shown at the bottom of the post.
Who was the only Englishman to become Pope?
How tall was Goliath, the Philistine giant slain by David with a stone hurled from a sling?
What language is Jesus believed to have spoken?
What was the first town in the United States to be given a Biblical name?
What does the word “amen” really mean?
According to the Bible, how many pearly gates are there?
According to the Bible, on what day did God divide land and water?
How many people were on Noah’s Ark?
How high were the walls of Jericho before they came tumbling down?
In what language was the New Testament originally written?
ANSWERS
Nicholas Breakspear who was Pope Adrian IV, “Six cubits and a span” or 11’9″, Aramaic, Salem-Massachusetts, “So be it”, 12, On the third day, 8, 21 ft, Greek
It’s another cold and miserable day here in Maine and I have no plans to leave the house at all. It goes against my common sense to go outside and freeze my ass off for no good reason. What better way to make a cold and miserable day a little more pleasant than to read some truly interesting yet captivating dirty jokes. Let’s get started.
A woman in her 40’s went to a plastic surgeon for a facelift. The surgeon told her about a new procedure called The Knob in which a small knob is placed on the back of the woman’s head and can be turned to tighten up her skin to produce the effect of a brand-new face lift. Of course, the woman Immediately wanted The Knob. Over the years the woman tightened the knob when needed, the effects were wonderful, and the woman remained young looking and vibrant. After 15 years the woman returned to the surgeon with two problems. “All these years, everything has been working just fine. I’ve had to turn the knob many times and I’ve always loved the results. But now I’ve developed two annoying problems: first, I have these terrible bags under my eyes and The Knob won’t get rid of them.” The doctor looked at her closely and said honey those aren’t bags; those are your breasts. She said, well, I guess there’s no point in asking about this goatee.
Q. What’s the difference between oral sex and anal sex?
A. Oral sex makes your day; anal sex makes your hole weak.
A guy takes his wife to the Doctor. The doc says, well it’s either Alzheimer’s disease or AIDS. “What do you mean?” the guy says. “You can’t tell the difference?” “Yeah, the two look a lot alike in the early stages. Tell you what you should do, drive her way out into the country and kick her out of the car, if she finds her way home, don’t screw her.
The man returns from the tropics feeling very ill. He goes to see his doctor, who immediately rushes him to the hospital to undergo tests. After the tests are completed, the man wakes up to the ringing of a telephone in his private room at the hospital. On the other end of the line, the doctor explains, “We’ve received the results back from your tests. and found that you have an extremely nasty STD called G.A.S.H., which is a combination of gonorrhea, AIDS, syphilis, and herpes. “Oh my God” said the man, what am I going to do?” “Well, we’re going to put you on a diet of pizzas, pancakes and pita bread.” Will that cure me?” asks the man curiously. Well, no, but it’s the only food we can get under the door.
I was sure that the title of this post would draw some immediate attention. It’s well known that this country is addicted to all things sexual. Our TV shows, news programs, and advertisements are filled with sexual content. Sex can also be great fun if done properly and our laws are what helps the society determine that. It’s totally a judgement call but thanks to our colorful history beginning with those god-fearing Pilgrims, sexual matters can be monitored, and the local citizenry makes the determination as to what is considered proper and legal behavior. That’s when things get a little strange. Here is a list of laws addressing sexual behavior from all areas of the country and it doesn’t get much stranger than this. You be the judge.
In Harrisburg, Pennsylvania – It is against the law to have sex with a truck driver in a toll booth.
In Willowdale, Oregon, its unlawful for a husband to talk dirty to his wife during sex.
In Clinton, Oklahoma it is illegal to masturbate while watching two people having sex in a car.
In Newcastle, Wyoming it is illegal to have sex in a butcher shop’s meat locker.
In Ames, Iowa, there is a law against drinking more than three slugs of beer while lying in bed with a woman.
In Kingsville, Texas, there is a law forbidding two pigs from having sex on airport property.
In Ventura County, California there is a law forbidding cats and dogs from having sex without a permit.
In Washington DC, there is a law against having sex in any position but face to face.
In Alexandria, Minnesota, it against the law for a man to have sex with his wife with the stink of onions, sardines, and garlic on his breath.
In Tremonton, Utah, it’s against the law to have sex in an ambulance.
This is a perfect day for a truck load of silliness. First let’s look over some truly stupid and published newspaper headlines.
CHILD’S STOOL GREAT FOR USE IN THE GARDEN
SOVIET VIRGIN LANDS SHORT OF GOAL AGAIN
DEALERS WILL HEAR CAR TALK AT NOON
ENRAGED COW INJURES FARMER WITH AX
MAN RUN OVER BY FREIGHT TRAIN DIES
Next are a few actual classified ads that made me smile.
😁😁😁
Joining nudist colony, must sell washer & dryer – $300.00
Tired of cleaning yourself? Let me do it.
Dog for sale: eats anything and is fond of children.
Used Cars: Why go elsewhere to be cheated? Come here first.
Man wanted to work in explosive factory. Must be willing to travel.
Quotes and Malaprops from actual high school and college exams on the subject of Music Appreciation
😜😜😜
The principal singer of nineteenth-century opera was called the pre-Madonna.
Agnes Dei was a woman composer famous for her church music.
A trumpet is an instrument when it is not an elephant sound.
When electric currents go through them, guitars start making sounds. So would anybody.
Just about any animal skin can be stretched over a frame to make a pleasant sound once the animal is removed.
And finally, a serious quote from a serious Playboy playmate, Barbie Benton.
(Not PETA Approved)
“I believe that minks are raised to be turned into fur coats and if we didn’t wear fur coats, those little animals would never have been born. So is it better not to have been born, or to have lived for one or two years to have been turned into a fur coat. I don’t know.”
It’s just another weird and wonderful week here in Maine. So far, we’ve had a snowstorm, then an earthquake, then a windstorm, then some rain, and a dose of black ice for good measure. It’s no wonder I hate to leave the house. Today’s post is yet another visit through the “limericktime tunnel“. These limericks were probably compiled sometime in the mid 1970’s and then published in the early 1980’s. I love looking back to search for a few interesting and funny gems that need to be redistributed to the newer generations. Enjoy!
This will be a fun post but not if you’re a germophobe. I can deal with just about anything, but these items still have the ability to make my skin crawl just a little. If I had to sit around and obsess about bacteria and mites infesting my body like my better-half does, I would lose my mind. Hang onto whatever you like to hang onto, this ride might get a little bumpy.
Itchiness in humans is contagious. Watching someone else itch makes your brain think it’s experiencing an itch, even when it’s not.
The average bed is home to 10,000,000 dust mites.
It goes without saying that every day you inhale thousands of you own skin flakes since you lose approximately 40,000 flakes per minute.
Your skin contains billions of individual bacteria.
The most common bacteria found in your belly button is of the same species that make your feet smell.
There are mites that live in your hair follicles, eyelashes, and eyebrows. They walk around on your skin at night before returning to their hair follicles during the day.
Tapeworms inside humans have been measured as long as 20 feet.
Fungi thrive on the protein keratin found in hair, nails, and skin.
Men and women fart approximately the same amount each day, a half-liter of gas a day.
Did you know that defecaloesiophobia is the fear of painful bowel movements.
(Did you know?)
FART IS ONE OF THE OLDEST WORDS IN THE ENGLISH LANGUAGE
Another freezing cold day here in Maine. I don’t feel as bad about it as I normally do because I can spend my day watching videos of the folks down south enjoying the snow with their families. My favorite so far came out of south Louisiana where the roads had been closed to car traffic. One genius soul braved the snow squalls and rode down the main street of his town on a swamp air boat. Too cool for school! Today’s quiz will be about artists, a favorite topic of mine. Answers will be listed below.
The “Gibson Girl” made famous by artist Charles Dana Gibson, was what woman?
Fulton, Missouri, has a thirty-two-foot sculpture titled “Breakthrough“. What cold war relic does it commemorate?
If you wanted to see a lot of paintings of dogs, what midwestern city would you visit?
What famous female painter started painting because her fingers had become too stiff for embroidering?
What great artist signed his pictures with a sketch of a butterfly?
What great French sculptor’s works are featured in a Philadelphia Museum?
Grant Woods famous painting, American Gothic shows a farm couple, with the man holding a pitchfork. What relation are the man and woman?
What huge outdoor sculpture was created by Gutzon Borglum?
What president’s much visited statue in D.C. was sculpted by Daniel Chester French?
Californias most famous cemetery has several large reproductions of famous religious paintings. What is the cemetery?
Answers
Gibsons wife, The Berlin Wall, St. Louis’s Dog Museum, Grandma Moses, James Whistler, Rodin famous for “The Thinker“, Father and Daughter, Mount Rushmore, The Lincoln Memorial, Forest Lawn in Glendale.
I’m not much of a celebrity lover. I’ve been able to live a great life without knowing about their tattoos, their favorite foods, or when they lost their virginities. I’ve met a few over the years and wasn’t all that impressed because they’re just folks like the rest of us. As I was recently going through a few books I found information about some celebrities that really brought it home just how down-to-earth they really are. As a child I was bullied for two years by a fat neanderthal with an IQ of ten who outweighed me by at least 60 pounds. It made my life miserable for a time until I grew eight inches taller, put on an additional thirty-five pounds, and then got even. I feel for anyone who has been put in that position, including celebrities. Here’s a list of some famous folks and the nicknames they were forced to deal with.
Kate Moss – Mosschops, Kate Winslet – Blubber, Rebecca Romijn-Stamos – Jolly Blond Giant, Victoria Beckham – Acne Face, Geri Halliwell – Pancake (flat chested), Elle Macpherson – Smelly Elly, Jeff Goldblum – Bubwires (braces), Justin Timberlake – Brillo Pad, Robert DiNiro – Bobby Milk, Nicole Kidman – Stalky, Gisele Bundchen – Oli (short for Olive Oyl), Britany Spears – Boo Boo,
Some of the celebrity nicknames were mild and a few others were just plain mean. We’ve all had to deal with nicknames as we grew up. I dealt with the name Crazy Legs for a year or two and then Hazelnut after that. My all-time favorite and longest-lasting nickname was of course, Smart Ass, which seemed to be every one’s favorite. It was last used as recently as yesterday and has over the years become a badge of honor for me.
everyuselessthing.com 