Abraham Lincoln lost five different elections prior to becoming a United States president.
There are 13 letters in the Hawaiian alphabet.
The only word that begins and ends with the letters “und” is the word underground.
Due to contrasting gravity, a person normally weighing 200 pounds on earth will weigh just 76 pounds on Mars.
Recycling one glass jar will save enough energy for three hours of television.
A tsunami can move at the same speed as a jet plane.
You could fit almost 900,000,000,000,000 footballs into the Grand Canyon.
Rio de Janeiro means River of January.
Sometimes when you are sleeping, your brain is busier than when you’re awake.
The left and right sides of your body are controlled by the opposite sides of your brain.
In Japan you can buy square watermelons, specifically created to stack more easily in supermarkets.
Wild lions usually do not kill more than 20 times a year.
Crocodiles along the banks of the Nile River are accountable for over 1000 deaths per year.
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And last but not least some information that I hope our
current generation of scientists are paying attention to.
1. The First Law of robotics is a robot may not injure a human being or, through inaction, allow a human being to come to harm.
2. The Second Law of robotics is that a robot must obey any orders given to it by human beings, except where such orders would conflict with the First Law.
3. The Third Law of robotics is that a robot must protect its own existence as long as such protection does not conflict with the First or Second Laws.
My father, a former USN sailor, absolutely loved Bermuda. His ship made numerous stops there during the war and he told me on many occasions how he wished he could live there. I’ve never been lucky enough to visit Bermuda but it certainly looks like a wonderful place. Here’s a short historical story you might enjoy.
Fact: Bermuda has a robust history of pirating.
Seven supply ships sent out for Virginia in June 1609. It was the maiden voyage of the London Companies flagship Sea Venture, the first British merchant vessel designed to transport passengers. Battered for days by a hurricane, the fleet was scattered, and construction flaws caused the Sea Venture to leak badly. Spotting land, company Adm. Sir George Somers deliberately steered the ship onto the reefs, enabling his crew and passengers to escape. Stranded on a desert island, the survivors built two boats and finally reached Jamestown nine months later.
Based on that shipwreck, England laid claim to Bermuda, which was incorporated into the London Company’s charter. And a later account by Sea Venture survivor William Strachey reached England and became the inspiration for William Shakespeare’s final play, the Tempest.
Fact: Rainwater captured from the roofs of its buildings is Bermuda’s only source of fresh water.
A poem of Bermuda:
wings catch the wind’s plea, ancient calls across the miles, new lands greet the sun.
Limericks are the best. I’ve been reading them for years and writing a great many of my own. My limerick archives go all the way back to 1879. I did discover that posting some of those really old ones requires a bit of a rewrite. Some of the profanities back then were just gratuitous and actually detracted from the overall entertainment value. I may have softened the language a little but they’re still a fun read. Todays selections are related specifically to younger women. Don’t complain to me about the content, the people who wrote these have been dead a very long time.
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A bather whose clothing was strewed
By winds that left her quite nude,
Saw a man come along,
And unless we are wrong
You expected this line to be lewd. (1944)
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A lady athletic and handsome
Got wedged in her sleeping room transom.
When she offered much gold
For release, she was told
That the view was worth more than the ransom. (1944)
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There was a young maid from Madras
Who had a magnificent ass;
Not rounded and pink,
As you’d probably think,
It was gray, had long ears, and ate grass. (1940)
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I’m tempted to post a few of my own limericks but unfortunately they’re very rude and sexual explicit. I may rewrite them someday but not today. Instead I offer up a rather lame poem of mine written about my first sexual experience, to show all of you what a freaking romantic I’m not. LOL
I’d like once again to share some lovely poetry by the worlds children. These poems are sweet and heartfelt which isn’t unusual when written by the pure of heart. I hope you enjoy them as much as I have. The topic for today is PEOPLE.
It’s been a hectic week with life once again getting in the way. I thought a few tidbits of unusual trivia would keep everyone interested and entertained for a few minutes. Now I can return to my life such as it is.
The original name of Scrabble was “Lexico“. It was later called “Criss-Cross” before eventually becoming Scrabble.
During WWI sauerkraut was called “Liberty Cabbage” by the Americans. Hamburgers were called “Liberty Steaks“.
“Meetinghouse” was the WWII Allied codename for Tokyo.
The spacecraft Gemini 3 was nicknamed the “Molly Brown” by the astronauts Grissom and Young because in 1961 it sank upon reentry.
Alvin Karpus AKA “Old Creepy” was arrested by J. Edgar Hoover and sentenced to serve time in Alcatraz. He spent 26 years there from 1936-1952, more than any other inmate.
“Professor Tigwissel’s Burglar Alarm” was the first comic strip to appear in a newspaper, the New York Graphic, on September 11, 1875.
Betty Boop’s pet dog was named “Pudgy“.
The 1948 tune by Muddy Waters, “Rollin” Stone“, inspired the name of the rock group, the Rolling Stones.
Steve Trachsel was the Chicago pitcher who gave up Mark McGwire’s 62nd homerun in 1998 in Busch Stadium.
“A Wild Hare” was the 1940 Warner Brothers cartoon in which Bugs Bunny first said, “What’s Up Doc?”
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One of My Fav’s
“Manhattan Melodrama” was last movie watched by John Dillinger at the Biograph
Theatre in Chicago in 1934 just minutes before being gunned down by FBI agents.
Now that Easter has come and gone, things can get back to normal (scary thought). What better way to follow up an Easter celebration than with a posting of a few rude and borderline bawdy limericks. I would rate these four limericks PG because I certainly wouldn’t want to shock any of those innocent children out there as well as the many prudes who love to comment on them. Here we go.
Today is as good a day as any to be silly. Here are fifteen quotes from a group of somewhat silly people. I do suspect some of them aren’t as silly as they seem to be.
“Always look out for Number One and be careful not to step in Number Two.” Rodney Dangerfield
“Men are superior to women. For one thing they can urinate from a speeding car.” Willl Durst
“Men are nicotine-soaked, beer-besmirched, whiskey-greased, red-eyed devils.” Carry Nation
“Every time I look at you, I get the fierce desire to be lonesome.” Oscar Levant
“Women with pasts interest men because they hope history will repeat itself. Mae West
“Condoms aren’t completely safe. A friend of mine was wearing one and got hit by a bus.” Bob Rubin
“This gum tastes funny.” Sign on a condom machine.
“It’s OK to laugh in the bedroom so long as you don’t point.” Will Durst
“Sometimes a cigar is just a cigar.” Sigmund Freud
“Formula for Success: Rise early, work hard, strike oil.” John Paul Getty
“I had plastic surgery last week. I cut up my credit cards.” Henny Youngman
“The toughest part of being on a diet is shutting up about it.” Gerald Nachman
“I’m not a vegetarian because I love animals; I’m a vegetarian because I hate plants.” A. Whitney Brown
“Your medical tests results are in. You’re short, fat, and bald.” Ziggy
“My grandmother’s brain was dead, but her heart was still beating. It was the first time we ever had a Democrat in the family.” Emo Philips
I don’t know about you, but the last week of news seems to have taken over any and all discussions about everything. Today is as good a day as any for a break from the landslide of BS from the liberal left. I’ll supply all of you with some bawdy humor to take the edge off of all the whining and crying I’ve been hearing. Turmoil is exactly what this government needs but we mustn’t let them destroy our sense of humor along with it. If these jokes make anyone smile then that’s a “mission success” for me.
It was his wedding night, and the minister finished undressing in the bathroom and walked into the bedroom. He was surprised to see that his bride had already slipped between the sheets. “My dear,” he said, “I thought I would find you on your knees.” She said, “Well, honey, I can do it that way too, but it gives me the hiccoughs.”
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Here’s one for my fellow retirees.
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So, this elderly couple were sitting in their tiny flat on the lower east side when the husband said, “Doris, we’re in bad shape. Inflation has eaten up our Social Security check. The next one isn’t due until next week and we’ve got no money for food.” “Could I do anything to help?” she asked. “Yes” he said. “I hate to see you do this but it’s the only way. You’re going to have to go out and hustle your ass on the street.” “Me?” she said. “At the age of sixty-five?” “It’s the only way,” he said. Resigned to the situation, she went out into the hot night. She came staggering early the next morning. “How did you do?” asked the husband. “Here,” she said, “I’ve got four dollars and ten cents.” “Four dollars and ten cents,” he said. “Who gave you the ten cents?” “Everybody,” she exclaimed.
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And finally, one for our law enforcement community.
Would you consider yourself a superstitious person? Most people don’t think they are but when questioned further the truth always comes out. Superstition comes in a number of forms but today I want to talk about the number 13. We are a technological people creating devices and accomplishments that boggle the mind. Why is it that there are no buildings in this country with a 13th floor. That fact is absolutely ridiculous for a modern country leading the world in so many areas. Here are some other examples of how stupid and superstitious we really are.
The fear of the number 13 or “triskaidekaphobia” seems to have been around a long time. Viking mythology claims thirteen guests were seated at Loki’s Valhalla feast. Also, there were thirteen attendees at the Last Supper.
Friday is also considered an unlucky because it was day of the crucifixion. It is claimed that Adam and Eve also ate the forbidden fruit on a Friday. That would surely make Friday the 13th a double whammy.
Winston Churchill, former British prime minister, never traveled on a Friday the 13th unless absolutely necessary.
Graham Chapman of Monty Python fame arranged to be buried on the 13th hour of Friday, October 13th, 1989.
Benny Goodman and former vice-president Hubert Humphrey died on Friday the 13th.
Months that begin on a Sunday will always have a Friday the 13th.
On March 13, 1992, a violent earthquake in Turkey killed more than a thousand people.
In 1972 on a Friday, a plane crashed in the Andes without food and water compelling the survivors to turn to cannibalism to stay alive.
On Friday, October 13, 1307, King Philip IV of France ordered the arrest and torture of all members of the Knights Templar on charges of heresy.
German bombs hit Buckingham Palace on Friday, September 13th, 1940, during World War II.
To say I’m pleased about the current situation in our country is the biggest understatement of my life. I’m not going to list all of the wonderful things I’ve been seeing and hearing because it would only get me inundated by hateful trolls of the liberal persuasion. This is a country that leads and has always been a source of “firsts”. It has always been the “first” to initiate programs and to do many things that the rest of the world just loves to endlessly talk about. Here’s what a little bit of my research found out about some other “firsts” here in the good old U.S. of A.
The world’s “first” underwater tunnel., the Holland, opened in 1927 in New York under the Hudson River.
Tiros I was the “first” weather satellite launched.
Rev. John Mitchell of Oklahoma, in 1909, organized the “first” troop of the Boy Scouts of America.
In 1958 the “first” commercial jet service, National Airlines, began regular flights between New York and Miami.
In 1995 the Walt Disney company released Toy Story, the “first” film entirely computer-generated.
In 1799 a 12-year-old North Carolina boy discovered gold for the “first” time.
In 1909 Admiral Robert Peary was the “first” man to reach the North Pole.
In 1927 Time magazine’s Man of the Year was Charles Lindbergh for his “first” solo transatlantic flight to Paris.
In 1914 the city of Cleveland installed the “first” traffic light.
The famous four-word phrase, UNITED STATES OF AMERICA, was used for the “first” time in York, Pennsylvania in 1777.
Admiral Robert Peary
I could have listed many more ‘firsts”, but I think I’ve made my point. We Americans began as over-achievers when we landed in Plymouth and hopefully it will never stop. Let’s now be the first major power in history to clean up the mess of our Federal Government and begin to once again overachieve.
everyuselessthing.com 