We had a wonderful night tonight. Celebrating my better-half’s birthday is always a treat and she didn’t let me down. We went out for dinner and she absolutely consumed a gigantic steak and all of the fixings. She had a tough day at work and I could tell she was exhausted but all I had to do was mention the word steak and she was ready to go.
I don’t know whether any of you’ve had the opportunity to eat at a Texas Roadhouse restaurant but I highly recommend it. I love a good steak as much as the next guy but there are times when other dishes call to me. Last night as I was perusing the menu I found something I wasn’t expecting and I had an OMG moment. I love steak but instead ordered some good old down home country fried chicken with a white sauce that was to die for. This is no lie, I ate until I couldn’t eat another mouthful and it was wonderful. While I was pigging out on the chicken my better-half was devouring a large chunk of cow. It sounded and appeared to be delicious. Of course since she was the birthday girl it was required by the restaurant staff that she be recognized with a rootin-tootin country “Happy Birthday”. They dragged her out of our booth and seated her on a saddle while the entire restaurant and staff hooted and howled and wished her a happy birthday. She was thrilled and I thanked God it wasn’t my birthday. Reminder to Self: Don’t go near a Texas Roadhouse on your birthday.
After a couple of drinks and that huge meal we made our way home, opened a few gifts, and then vegged out. I knew she was very tired and wasn’t going to last much longer. She only blew out the candle on her cake since neither of us could eat another mouthful of food. All in all we had a great time and celebrated the hell out of her birthday. She had an early day of work but still had enough energy left to talk to her children when they made their obligatory birthday calls from different parts of the country.
As always I’m a bit of a nighthawk and stayed awake for another few hours doing a little reading and little thinking. I’m on the verge of finishing the second Harry Potter book but it’s not near as good as the first one. Two thirds of the way through I started to get bored with the story but continued on because I had assurances from friends that each book gets progressively better than the last. I finally put Harry Potter off to the side and again attempted to read the book that has become my recent frustration. Satanic Verses by Salman Rushdie is the toughest book I’ve ever tried to read except for possibly the Talmud and the Koran. I discovered one thing last evening. I’m never going to finish this book because it is just so much bullshit and nonsense. I’ve had people brag to me about reading this book and I’ve come to the conclusion it’s more about their snobbery than reading anything of consequence. How in the hell this book created such a furor within the Muslim community is beyond me. In my opinion it’s highly overrated in every respect. So consider this my book club selection of the month and here’s my true feelings. Don’t read it, it sucks, it’s boring, it’s freaking stupid, and I hate it. There, I feel better already.
A good nights sleep and I’ll be ready for the week of pre-Thanksgiving propaganda to come.
I really try never to be a person who uses class-warfare tactics like so many people in this country do today. That puts me in a definite minority as reflected by Obama’s re-election. Everyone claims to hate negative campaigning but those same people allow it to effect their vote. People say they hate smooth talking, insincere politicians and then vote them back into office without a second thought. I’ve finally been forced to admit that people who feel as I do and live their lives as I do are losing the battle for this country. I see Obama’s plan working as he probably knew it would. He’s a master manipulator and uses ethnic issues and race better than most KKK members. I understand why the “have not’s” flock to his banner because of his divisive campaigning techniques that have convinced a majority of the country that without his government they are doomed. I suppose I’ll now be listed as a crank or someone who is no longer in touch with the rest of the country. That’s a label I wear proudly and always will. You may find this interesting so read on.
"The average age of the world’s greatest civilizations from the beginning of history, has been about 200 years. During those 200 years, these nations always progressed through the following sequence:
From bondage to spiritual faith;
From spiritual faith to great courage;
From courage to liberty;
From liberty to abundance;
From abundance to complacency;
From complacency to apathy;
From apathy to dependence;
From dependence back into bondage."
It doesn’t take a genius to determine where this country currently is on this road-to-destruction list, is it? I’d say we’ve just crossed over into “Apathy to Dependence”. Obama has steadily pushed, pulled, and manipulated the nation to the edge of this cliff and he’ll continues to push until we fall off. His next big challenge will be the rewriting of laws concerning term limits for the Presidency. He will certainly attempt to stay in office as long as he possibly can. Add that together with increased dependence on the government, voter apathy, and a loss by the younger generations of pride in their country, and here we are.
Today started out reasonably well. For a change I slept in till nine and when I awoke found my cat asleep at my feet. That explained why he hadn’t been nagging me for his breakfast. My better-half surprised both the cat and me by getting up early and feeding him. NICE!
I made the journey into the dark recesses of my man-cave and posted my blog without too much editing. NICE AGAIN!
My better-half loudly entered my man-cave without written permission to let me know we’d be going shopping in ten minutes. OKAY BUT NOT SO NICE.
We arrive at the supermarket and all of my nice feelings started to fade. The place was packed with people all scurrying around which led me to believe that another “world ending” storm of “biblical proportions” might be approaching. My better-half who monitors weather reporting religiously immediately set me straight and we continued on the shopping safari. NOT NICE.
As always I was minding my own business and cruising the aisles when I made a wrong turn and my worst nightmare was realized. Just so you know I’m a bit claustrophobic. Not only was I trapped by groups of shoppers but someone nearby was really stinking up the place. I’ve smelled my share of BO but OMFG this was more than a little offensive. I pinpointed the man in question fairly easily because ten other customers were desperately trying to get the hell away from him in state of panic. He looked relatively normal, was nicely dressed, and appeared well groomed. To quote a M*A*S*H episode, “if you took a rotten egg and put it in a dirty sock and hid it under your bed for a week” would just about cover this guy’s aroma. His one obvious handicap was his own lack of a sense of smell. REALLY NOT NICE.
I escaped finally and finished my shopping but when I spotted that dude heading for the checkout register I gave him all the room I could. He made his way through the checkout line and stopped at the cashier. The faces being made and the nasty looks he received were blatantly obvious but had no noticeable effect on him. We made it back to our car and drove away. OKAY BUT STILL NOT NICE.
Arrived home. NICE!
This is my day for doing a little thinking and enjoying my few hours of quiet time. 2012 has been an interesting year for me primarily because of the pregnancy of my better-half’s daughter and the birth of her first child. It’s the first time in many years that I’ve had the pleasure of watching someone close to me develop for the full nine months and then to be present in the hospital for the birth of the child. Watching her steadily increasing size was interesting but the thing that really grabbed me was the movements of the baby during that last trimester.
I recall a sunny afternoon on our deck last summer where she and I were enjoying the day and as we were speaking I could see her shirt moving as the baby reacted to her voice. She then proceeded to push on her belly to move him around a bit to make things more more comfortable. I haven’t been closely involved with any pregnant women for more years than I care to think about and I was surprised by my own reaction. I told her that it was creepy and gave me goose-bumps. I then asked how it really felt to feel that little body moving around inside her. She gently took the time to explain to me in some detail what she was feeling and how excited she was about the upcoming birth. It takes a lot to touch me but she did. To see her so happy and excited moved me more than I thought possible. Just a short time ago she was a young, inexperienced college student trying to find her way in this world. Just a few short years later she’s a teacher, a wife, and soon to be a mother. Amazing. As we were sitting in the waiting room in the hospital a few months later I thought about that moment on the deck and just smiled. She was now in the birthing room going through something I could never experience or understand and she couldn’t wait to get there.
Our new little man made his grand entrance on schedule and he’s doing exceptionally well at the grand old age of four weeks? I’m really looking forward to the day when he and I can sit on that same deck and I can tell him this story.
And one more thing before I go. If we men were responsible for child bearing and had to go through nine months of what most women do, the planet would be free of human beings. Just saying.
Well, we’re ten days into the month of November and it’s hard to believe that just a few short weeks ago I was sitting on my deck wearing a T-shirt and shorts and enjoying the warm weather. In my attempt to be optimistic I refuse to think that for the next long, boring, and weather beaten five months I’ll be housebound.
Today is a day of odds and ends. I first went to the granddaddy of all retailers, Walmart, to pick up a few things and to enjoy a reasonably nice day. Walmart as usual is a freaking zoo. Just pulling into the parking lot is an adventure where all those years of amusement park bumper cars finally paid off. It’s a Friday morning in November at 7:15 am and I was hard-pressed to find a decent parking spot. The lot was full, people wandering everywhere, and none paying the slightest attention to the moving vehicles. It was a good morning to play “idiot hockey” and test the reflexes of all the late night partiers stumbling into the Dunkin Donuts inside the Walmart. They were pretty nimble and were still moving quickly enough to avoid a vinyl bumper up their ass. I guess I’m showing my lack of patience but I really don’t care. The only thing worse than a discourteous driver is a discourteous pedestrian and I’m surprised and shocked that more of them aren’t seriously injured on a regular basis. Oh well enough of my complaining it’s time to get into the store, do my shopping, and get the hell out.
The store was fairly crowded with the normal oddballs and yahoo’s roaming around and giving us other humans something to talk about. I needed a few dietary supplements so I wandered over towards the pharmacy. As I’m walking down the aisle near the condoms I overhear two women in a rather heated discussion about which ones were the best? Should we get ribbed or lubricated? You can’t buy that size, he’s not that big. This went on for a few minutes and I found a label to read on a nearby product because I didn’t want to miss anything. I had to chuckle a few times and try not to be too obvious but my presence didn’t seem to faze them at all. They were reading the box descriptions out loud to each other, comparing notes, and laughing hysterically. Gone are the days when we men were forced to sneak into drugstores and buy condoms on the QT. I suppose it’s only fair these days that I’m occasionally required to buy feminine hygiene products for my better-half.
I thought about those ladies and their conversation all the way home. I’ve never been a big fan of condoms and when possible I wouldn’t use them. Fortunately for me when I was acting wild and crazy STD’s weren’t as a big an issue as they are today. All I had to do then was determine if the woman I was pursuing was on the pill or not. If not, I proceeded on to the next possible partner. The way things are these days I wouldn’t attempt sex with a any partner unless I wore a body condom. Bearing all that in mind when I got home I decided to do a little research on condoms. I have a fairly extensive library of books containing tons and tons of totally useless information and trivia. It took me about 10 min. to find what I was looking for and I’m making it available to you free of charge. You just can’t have enough information about condoms.
Condoms have been with us much longer than you might have imagined. Condoms are supposedly named after the apocryphal,”Dr. Condom”, or Conton, who is supposed to have made them for Charles II, out of lamb’s intestines, which were dried and then well oiled. The mail sheath, however, had been around long before the time of Charles II. Before the time of Christ, the Chinese made them with oiled silk paper (the first lubricated condoms). It is rumored that Roman soldiers would make condoms from the muscle tissue of their defeated foes. By mid-evil times, the spread of syphilis increased the use of condoms greatly. In the 1800s condoms were made from animal intestines that were soaked in an alkaline solution, scraped, disinfected with the vapor of burning brimstone, washed, insulated, dried, cut to approximately 7 inches, and fitted with a ribbon on the open end. The Catholic Church wasn’t too crazy about this prophylactic profusion and in 1826 Pope Leo the XIII condemned their use. Despite the objections of his Holiness, condoms were here to stay!
Making this detailed history of condoms available should be considered my November public service announcement.
You’re very welcome.
Well the first winter storm has come and gone with no appreciable damage to our home or property. It’s been sleeting and raining off and on for most of the night but the plus side to that is the snow will be gone in a short time. It’s a reasonably good start to the 2012/2013 winter when we’ve had 4 inches of snow which required no shoveling.
I spent most of my evening yesterday lounging with my better-half watching a little TV. I’m not sure who’s responsible for giving television the nickname “boob tube” but they certainly hit that nail right on the head. I was reading and TV watching and finally finished the first Harry Potter book. A short time after my better-half went off to bed I turned off the “tube” and opened up book number two. It was an enjoyable read but it didn’t last very long. I become so relaxed when I read that if I’m not careful I can easily doze off. My solution is to sit in an uncomfortable chair in an uncomfortable position and just read. I stay awake longer and in the long run read much more.
Today’s a new day and I’ve got a lot of errands to run and a list of tasks that need to be taken care of. I was happy to finally receive yesterday afternoon a really nice set of wood carving tools that I ordered from Amazon a week or so ago. I like carving but without the proper tools it’s just a waste of time and energy. I spent an hour or two on an old piece of wood learning what each tool will do and what they won’t do. It may take me a little time to get the feel for these tools but I think any carvings that I do in the future will be much cleaner and crisper than in the past. I may actually try to do something I’ve been wanting to do for quite some time and that is to attempt wood block printing. It’s been a number of years since the last time but it’s a little like sex and bicycle riding, you never forget the basics. That will be another one of my winter projects for this year and should keep me busy in January and February.
Well, I’m finally dressed with my camera in hand and I’m out the door in five minutes. I need to make a quick stop at a local business that supplies me with winemaking equipment. We have three batches of wine underway and it won’t be long before the bottling will begin. I’m in need of corks and a few other odds and ends. I’ve been experimenting this year with my wines and I’ll find out soon enough if it worked. I’m a huge fan of Gin but drinking too much of it is not a good idea. I decided to gather the ingredients used to make Gin and attempt to create a Gin Wine. I had juniper berries shipped in from California and in combination with other herbs and spices made a three gallon batch. Making wine is always an adventure because you never really have any idea how it will turn out even if your following a good recipe. This experiment has Gin’s aroma but it’s the taste that has me concerned. Our other batches of Blueberry and Triple Berry (Blueberry, Blackberry, and Strawberry) are in their final stages and I’ve given them my first taste test. So far so good.
I’m out the door, let the day begin.
It looks like this is going to be another day of surprises for me. I woke up bright and early this morning and stumbled from the bedroom barely conscious. The house was chilly, the cat was hungry, and my kidneys were screaming. Being the organized guy that I am I immediately prioritized. I turned up the thermostat, kicked the cat out of the way, and headed for my favorite room of the house. It was still dark as hell but as I walked past our large picture window I couldn’t have been more surprised. Four inches of freaking snow piled up on the deck and everywhere else. It’s what I get for not paying attention to the weather forecasts over the last few days. These inconvenient and inevitable weather changes are a pain in the ass but we must roll with the punches. My immediate response to the snow was to get a cup of coffee and make a beeline for my nice warm and toasty bed. I did feed the cat on the way only because I knew he’d nag me to death to get fed if I didn’t.
I slide back under the covers, turned on the TV and guess what, no satellite signal. I can’t ever seem to get a damn break. We hadn’t lost power, thank God, but looking out the window I could see a shimmer of sleet and immediately knew why the signal had been lost. Effing ice build up on the dish requiring my personal touch. I sat for a moment hoping against hope the damn thing will recover on it’s own. Fat chance. I was being forced to leave my warm snuggly bed to venture out into the cold cruel storm. I threw on a robe, grabbed a broom, and made my way to the door. Shit!
You must realize I’m an accident waiting to happen when there’s snow or ice anywhere nearby. I’ve fallen so many times in my life it’s ridiculous. In the last twenty years I’ve fractured my knee, thrown out my back, and fell to the driveway directly on top of my hand breaking my little finger. With a record like that it’s no wonder I’m extra careful at all times. I got to the door with my broom and unfortunately for me the only pair of available shoes were a pair of Crocs made for summer beach wear. Being a good soldier I put my bare feet into those stupid Crocs, opened the door and stepped out into the snow. Believe me when I tell you it was freaking cold. I only took a few steps before balance became an immediate issue but thank God for the broom. That stupid broom turned from a cleaning device to a walking stick and saved my ass from a tumble. I knocked the snow and ice from the satellite dish and safely returned to the house. I was really proud of myself for avoiding an injury but I’ve got to remember not to get too cocky. This was just the first in any number of snow storms and we have four more months of winter before I’ll feel safe again.
I love Winter and the change of seasons but these are perilous times for me and all of the other really clumsy people out there.
I guess I must be suffering from post election withdrawal. It’s such a relief to have the election and all of the associated nonsense over with. So I’ll start this day enjoying my breakfast of eggs, bacon, toast, and coffee. I guess as long as the simple things I enjoy stay the same it helps me deal with the bigger things that suck. I stayed up late last night reading more of Harry Potter and occasionally surfing to Fox News to check on the election returns. Needless to say I slept in a little later than usual this morning because I knew what I was going to wake up to.
This little breakfast nook of ours is on the second floor overlooking the road that passes by the house. We seem to be on the route for a continuing stream of bicyclists, runners, and soccer moms with their kids and dogs. It’s an easy way for me to people watching from a safe distance without alarming anyone. People these days are very nervous, and rightly so.
I’ve noticed one thing in recent months about the runners that jog by here. They all look like they want to die with their red flushed faces and wobbly knees. I thought running was supposed to be a good thing. All I’ve ever heard from the obsessed runners that I know is how this huge rush of endorphins surges through their skinny yet healthy bodies. I hate to be the one to tell them that I can also get a huge rush of endorphins by smacking myself on the hand with a hammer. Truth be told I’d rather have the smack with that hammer than to be running all over God’s creation. Let me tell you a story I was told from my late father a few years ago. Listen to the story and then get back to me about how healthy jogging can be. Here we go.
My father worked a blue-collar job all of his life and for most of those years his job was extremely physical so he never was into lifting weights, hitting the gym, or running. His boss’s name was Mr. White and he worked primarily in an office position that required almost no physical activity. Mr. White lived a few miles from our home and every morning as my dad was driving to work he’d see Mr. White jogging along in his cute little running outfit. He’d give my Dad a nod or a wave and continue on down the road. Now you must understand this, Mr. White was not overweight or in need of bodybuilding and appeared to be a healthy individual who was using running for stress relief. One morning as my father’s work day began he was called to the office and told that Mr. White had passed away. He asked under what circumstances and was told that Mr. White had been found lying along a road approximately a half mile from his home, dressed in his jogging outfit, and dead from a heart attack. What’s the moral of the story you ask. That’s an easy one for me, don’t freaking jog.
I’m not criticizing those people who love running but I just thought it was ironic as hell that a guy that appeared to be as healthy as Mr. White dropped dead while jogging. You can be sure of one thing, you’ll never see me running along a road anywhere unless there’s a guy close behind me with a gun. Just saying.
I’m rambling on and on because I truthfully don’t want to get off my ass and do anything today. Maybe another coffee and some loud kick-ass music might do the trick. We’ll see.
Here’s a short blurb on last nights election results. My congratulations to the biased media in this country that spent four years campaigning and propagandizing for Obama. They ignored their constitutional responsibility to be fair and balanced and to be a serious political watchdog for the rest of the citizenry. Another first for America, the first Main Steam Media President.
Did you hear that? I just felt a huge thud as the power shifted from the political parties and electorate to the MSM. Now we finally know who the actual power brokers really are.
Good job America. Manipulated and screwed but still stupid enough to be cheering about it. You get what you deserve and brother do you deserve this President.
Well it’s election day, aren’t you excited? I don’t think so because I don’t know anybody that is. I’ve listened to talk radio today, local news on both radio and TV, and everybody’s “shoveling it” hard and fast. The liberal stations are telling me that Obama is the man and he’s going to kick Romney’s ass. The conservative stations are saying that Romney is the man and he’s going to kick Obama’s ass. If I had my druthers I’d like to take them both out behind the woodshed and kick both their asses.
The last two years has been been unbearable with the constant stream of biased propaganda from everyone under the sun. First off, both candidates should all be arrested for felony Criminal Annoyance and sentenced to 20 years locked in a cell with each other. That just might be what “cruel and unusual” is all about.
I’m not getting too excited until later this evening when the only thing that really matters takes place. The vote count. Everyone’s reciting poll results which are just so much hogwash. The polls always seem to reflect the opinion of the pollster whether liberal or conservative. If as many people in this country are as tired of the constant polling as I am, they’ll lie to any pollster just to be ornery. I’ve been polled a number of times by telephone over the last few years and I absolutely lied through my teeth every damn time. The vote is a secret in this country and I’d like to keep the tradition alive. I’m not telling a soul who or what I’m voting for or against, it’s none of their damn business. It’s a freaking secret ballot.
If I have one more person talk to me like I’m a some idiot wrapped in a moron and try to explain to me why the way I want to vote is incorrect, I could be persuaded to violence. So if there’s anyone out there who’s reading this who enjoys making phone calls for candidates and visiting homes to irritate the residents, here’s a little bit of advice. Stay the hell away from my home and don’t think about calling me again. You’ve spent two years preaching to me and I’m “burned out”.
everyuselessthing.com 