Today is the day for weird shit. I’ve always been a huge fan of it and I’m about to pass a little of it your way. See what you think!
The average 200-pound human carries between two and six pounds of bacteria.
It would take over one million mosquitos to drain the blood from a single human being.
A chicken (Mike the Headless Chicken) once survived almost two years after having its head cut off. He became famous and toured the country. He was fed through an eyedropper.
Butterflies taste with their feet.
You can generally tell the color of a chicken’s eggs by the color of its ears.
The Absolute Weirdest
A substance secreted from a beaver’s anal gland is used in artificial vanilla flavoring.
The horned lizard can shoot blood from its eyes as a defense mechanism.
Female Koalas have two vaginas.
Marijuana and the hops for making beer come from the same plant family (Cannabaceae).
When a worker bee mates with the queen bee, its penis explodes.
The animal with the longest hibernation period is the frog.
The average weight of a cumulus cloud is 1.1 million pounds. Water vapor is quite heavy.
Almost 90% of all humans on earth live in the northern hemisphere.
There is a species of turtle that can breathe through its butt.
There are more bacteria cells in the human body than actual human cells. Some scientists believe as many as ten times more.
I received this list many years ago from a very close friend. Where he came by it, I don’t have a clue. Someone obviously put a great deal of thought into it, and I guess that’s a good enough reason for me to pass it on. Do I agree with everything on it, NO WAY! But again, it’s not just about me. It’s a bit of a long read but you never know, you might find a pearl of wisdom or two in it.
INSTRUCTIONS FOR LIFE
-Eat plenty of whole rice. -Give people more than they expect and do it willfully. -Learn by heart your favorite song. -Don’t believe anything you hear and do not sleep as much as you would like to. -When you say, “I love you”, say it truthfully. -When you say, “I’m sorry”, say it with eye contact. -An engagement period of 6 months is crucial before marriage. -Believe in love at first sight. -Never mock others’ dreams. -Love deeply and passionately. You may get hurt, but this is the only way to live life to the fullest.
-Deal with discontentment, fight fairly but do not offend. -Do not judge others because of their relatives. -Talk slow, think fast. -When someone asks you a question you do not want to answer, smile and ask: “Why do you want to know?” -Remember that the greatest love and the greatest successes also hold many risks. -Call your mom. -Bless a person who has just sneezed. -When you lose, do not lose the lesson. -Remember: Respect for yourself, respect for others and responsibility for your actions. -Do not allow a small disagreement to hurt a great friendship.
-When you notice you have made a mistake, take the appropriate steps in order to correct it. -Smile when you answer the phone. Those who call can “hear” your smile. -Marry the person you love talking to the most. When you get old, conversation will be important more than anything else. -Spend some time alone. -Accept change with open arms; yet do not give up your values. -Remember that sometimes, silence is the best answer. -Read more books and watch television less. -Live a good, honorable life. Later, when you grow old and remember the past, you will enjoy them once more. -Believe and trust god, whomever / whatever you conceive God to be, but securely lock your car. -An atmosphere of love at your home is most important. Do all that you can in order to create a calm home full of love.
-Do not bring back the past. -Read in between the lines. -Share your knowledge. It is the way to live forever. -Be gentle with our Earth planet. -Pray. Prayer has incredible power. -Never interrupt someone who flatters you. -Take care of your problems. -Do not trust a man or a woman who do not close their eyes when you kiss them. -Once a year, visit a place you never did before. -If you make a lot of money, channel it so as to help others while you are alive. This is the greatest satisfaction a treasure can reward you.
-Remember that sometimes, not getting what you want is being very lucky. -Learn all the rules, and then break some. -Remember that the greatest relationships are the ones in which the love between two people is greater than the need one has of the other. -Judge your success in light of what you had to give up in order to obtain it. -Relate to love and to the kitchen completely.
Well, it looks like winter is finally fading away. What does that mean to most of us? Warm weather and lots of sports. Today I want to combine your love of sports with my love of limericks. Here are four limericks concerning golf and baseball. Enjoy!
I’ve been called a sarcastic SOB more times than I can count, and those comments came from friends and family. Here are a few excellent examples of sarcasm for those of you who are sarcastic and those of you who wish you could be so absolutely wonderful. Enjoy!
Conservative – Someone who hates liberals because they have, at least once, seen themselves naked.
Hangover – A condition that makes figuring out who is next to you in bed this morning take anywhere from 5 minutes to a lifetime.
Indictment – Something that has been handed down every 20 minutes since roughly 1986.
In-law – A person who has the right to tell you how to live your life conferred upon him or her by marriage.
Rent – A monthly occurrence that demonstrates how readily one can get blood from a stone.
Slacker – A term that attempts to draft an air of coolness onto being a lazy bastard.
Slut – A vexing example of the inherent sexism still running rampant in our society, slut is a word for which there is no male equivalent; and certainly not one that even comes close to implying the same level of skankiness.
Swearing – Use of profanity. A vulgar and coarse way of expressing oneself that comes in really handy for everything from bumping one’s head to ending a long-term relationship.
Implants – Things that even when you discover are fake, somehow doesn’t really matter.
Hallmark – A company that has made untold millions off the fact that it’s a bitch to come up with something nice to say about the people you love.
Grandparents – A couple of old farts who have decided to give you all the unconditional love they quite obviously withheld from your parents.
Daughter – One’s female descendent. Fated to grow up and leave you for some worthless douche bag.
Commitment – 1. The act of binding oneself to a specific path, usually as regards a relationship with a romantic partner. 2. Consignment to a mental health facility. 3. There may be no difference between one and two.
Chaos – A state of extreme disorder. Captured perfectly in nature by the contents of a woman’s handbag.
Chaste – Morally pure; decent. A quality known in the dating scene as a waste of your time and effort.
“A truly great man is ever the same under all circumstances; and if his fortune varies, exalting him at one moment and oppressing him at another, he himself never varies, but always preserves a firm courage, which is so closely interwoven with his character that everyone can readily see that the fickleness of fortune has no power over him.”
In my years of working in corporate America, I made it a point to read his writings, especially “The Prince”. I couldn’t have survived as long as I did without it. Machiavelli has always had a bad name and to be “Machiavellian” is to be totally unscrupulous and cunning. But one thing most scholars are in agreement about: however bad his influence may have been, the real Machiavelli was not the wicked figure of popular tradition.
I thought today we might talk a little bit about food and drink. Just a little bit of trivia concerning some of our favorite consumables and some not so favorite. Don’t read this before you eat your lunch, it might put you off a little bit.
To make 1 pound of honey, bees must tap an average of 2 million flowers and fly more than 50,000 miles.
In ancient times oranges, not apples, were known as the” Fruits of the Gods”.
Some fast-food hamburgers are made of only 12% meat.
More than 45% of Americans eat fast food once a week.
To burn the calories consumed while eating a McDonald’s Big Mac, large fries, and a large soda, you must walk briskly for seven straight hours.
The US FDA allows pizza sauce at fast food restaurants to contain a maximum of 30 fly eggs per 100 grams, or 15 fly eggs and one maggot per 100 grams.
Each day McDonald’s feeds more people than the entire population of Spain.
Worcestershire sauce is created by dissolving the whole anchovies in vinegar, until the bones melt.
Lemons contain more sugar than strawberries.
Honey is the only natural food that does not rot. Theoretically honey could sit for 1 million years and remain completely edible.
On average there are more than 1200 calories in movie theater popcorn if you include the butter topping. That’s the equivalent of the calories in one pound of baby back ribs or two McDonald’s Big Macs.
M&Ms are the top-selling candy in the United States. Second is Reese’s peanut butter cups and third is the Snickers bar.
In China, the most popular use of ketchup is as a condiment for fried chicken.
The French government banned ketchup in its primary schools in 2011, fearing it would encourage children to develop Americanized taste preferences.
No more than two rodent hairs, or 29 gnawed kernels, can be shipped in a pound of popcorn.
I’ve been something of a music collector involving music primarily from the 50’s, 60’s, and the mid 70″s. The amount of music produced after the 70’s leaves me unimpressed. You take all of the Rap, Hip Hop, and Country Western and have a huge bonfire. I’m certain it would be a beautiful sight. A lot of you will disagree vehemently and that’s your prerogative. To each their own.
As I was reading some music trivia publications last week, I found the following list. The 50’s, 60’s, and 70’s had their issues as well with weird bands of every sort. That’s only normal for the music business at its core. Let’s see how many of these groups you remember.
Afghanistan Banana Stand
Berth’s Mule
Buddy Whatshisname and the Other Fellows
The Color Fred
The Disappointed Parents
The Well I’m Sure I Left It There Yesterday Band
Me First and the Gimmee Gimmees
The Naugahyde Chihuahuas
Question Mark and the Mysterians
She Stole My Beer
Stop Calling Me Frank
The Tortillas You Wanted
I can honestly say that I’ve only heard of two of these bands and that is Question Mark and the Mysterians and Afghanistan Banana Stand. I don’t know of any songs either might have released but for some reason I know their names. As for the rest I haven’t a clue. If you know, let me know.
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