Archive for the ‘shopping’ Tag
I’m sitting up in my bed and the electric blanket has been resurrected once again. The nights are chilling down dramatically as reflected by my new morning wardrobe. A heavy robe, wool socks, sweat pants, and an extra cup of steaming hot coffee. Things like that can only be properly appreciated while sitting up in bed at a minimum of level 4 on the electric blanket. Just saying.
Last night no one really wanted to cook the evening meal so we made a trek to the Maine Mall to window shop, eat some almost nutritious food at the food court, and possibly spend a little money. Forgetting that it was a Saturday night was mistake number one. The place was packed with large numbers of rude people all rushing around, pushing, shoving, and generally being ridiculous. I also realized something else as we walked around observing many groups of teenagers huddled here and there looking for things to do. I’m truly glad I’m not married and don’t have any young daughters to worry about.
Any parent that permits their daughter to loiter around any mall just boggles my mind. If any daughter of mine insisted on hanging out at a mall with her friends I’m afraid of what my reaction might be. I can see myself in a tacky disguise scurrying around the mall, hiding behind plants, just to keep an eye on the activities of her and her friends. There are way too many unthinkable possibilities just waiting to happen in this kind of atmosphere.
I was in dire need of a few new T-shirts and was intent on finding some. We visited a store called ‘The Hot Topic’ where we seemed to be a little out of place. It’s very much like a ‘Spencer’s’ without all of the sexual paraphernalia. My better-half and I were the only people in that crowded store over the age of 25. I made my way to the back wall because I’d been told they have offer quite the collection of T-Shirts made with images of vintage rock groups.
I decided some time ago to make a few changes to my boring wardrobe. I concocted a few new rules to help make my life a little easier when it comes to making a personal fashion statement.
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No more white T-shirts of any kind. Being as clumsy as I am makes white t-shirts a nightmare. Everything I eat eventually leaves it’s mark somewhere on the front of the shirt..
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No more stupid or cute sayings on my shirts. It make me either look stupid or uncute.
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Buy only T-shirts about classic musical groups. There aren’t any current groups I’d allowed to be displayed on this body.
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No more extra-large shirts. I’m now just a large and proud of it.
I found a few shirts (see the photo’s) I absolutely loved, made my purchases and we headed to the food court.
It’s a place with long lines, plastic sporks, and borderline delicious foods. There were representative kiosks from most Asians cultures as well as many of the standard American calorie and fat factories. We pigged out on a selection or two from Arby’s because the lines for Chinese food were too damn long.
I think it’s quite possible the decline of this county was part of a well planned attack initiated many decades ago by the Chinese. I’ll bet years ago they decided as a first step towards invasion to build as many Chinese restaurants as they could in the US and get a large majority of the population addicted to their food. If by chance over the next decade we begin to see Islamic restaurants springing up everywhere it could mean only one thing. Eventually this country will be the prize that goes to the winner of the Chinese/Muslim food wars.
With indigestion in our near future we left the confines of the mall and headed home. That Arby’s feast was so good it keep coming back up all night reminding us just how good it really wasn’t.
Lesson learned, no more fast food from the food court.
What’s your morning routine? For most of my life I’ve had a routine and I stuck to it regardless of the day, the month, or the year. It also was flexible enough to change when necessary to fit my always changing lifestyle. I have to say that my routine these days is by far the best it’s ever been.
I’m sitting in a nice warm bed and into my second cup of coffee while watching and listening to one of my favorite chick flicks, Return to Me. My better-half has left for work, the cat has been fed, and I just finished off a bowl of crunchy cereal covered with berries and almond milk. Now it’s time to write this posting before I finally roll out of bed and officially start my day.
With Fall now rushing upon us and Labor Day behind us, we decided to make our farewell visit to the nearby tourist trap, Old Orchard Beach. We expected much smaller crowds because many places close up for the season just after the Labor Day weekend. It was warm and sunny and the crowds were even smaller than we anticipated.
We were both surprised to see that the vast majority of shops and restaurants had already closed their doors for the year. I’d intended to do some shopping at a certain store but because it was on the grounds of the amusement park it was fenced off and locked up. That’s what I get for delaying my visit to avoid the crowds. Another casualty of my claustrophobic need to avoid large groups of insane people.
The beach was almost as empty as everything else. Just a few die-hard beach people refusing to accept the fact that Winter is fast approaching.
We made our way to The Pier and the local Irish Pub. They were open for business and apparently trying to rake in as much money as they could from any straggling tourists. The prices were too high but the food was almost as good as the cold beer or so says my live-in beer expert. I had the vodka tonic which wasn’t all that bad either.
We ended the evening with our mandatory visit to the Arcade for my better-half’s minor obsession with Skee Ball. Don’t ask me why she has it, I just don’t know. We walked around for twenty minutes or so and decided to call it a night. The Summer is over, Fall is beginning, and we’ll be shoveling the white stuff all too soon.
Just so you know the little guy on the right is me. A little bit taller and always keeping an eye out for trouble. And in my humble opinion a whole lot cuter too.
This has been a better week than I expected. The weather has been beautiful with lots of sun and temperatures in the low eighties. The better-half’s schedule is finally cooperating and her days off fell just perfectly. We packed up our cameras and headed to Kennebunkport, Maine for lunch and a short shopping spree as she searched for a Father’s Day gift for her Dad.
It’s little early for the normal crowds of tourists but it’s obvious that the summer is nearing. Traffic was moderate but as always finding parking is a huge pain in the ass.
Before the advent of the Bush family to the national scene this place was just a small quaint little town on the water with a small harbor full of lobster men’s boats. Now it’s THE place to go in southern Maine for all of the Bush family admirers. Everything Bush all of the time.
We decided that lunch at Federal Jacks was in order. Federal Jacks is located on the main drag directly adjacent to the harbor. It’s a great restaurant and also the original microbrewery responsible for the Shipyard line of beers. We took a seat on the deck of the second floor and ordered drinks and a light lunch. Here’s the view from our table.
“Black Bean Chili and Chips”
It’s low tide so the smell of the ocean and fish fill the air. Some of us like that but many others like the schmo at the next table do not. It’s the the ocean dumb ass, get over it. Go play tourist at the Grand Canyon where you can enjoy the aroma of hot sand. Brother!
We walked through a number of shops until my better-half found that special gift for Dad. We decided not to spend the entire day there because it’s quite likely we’ll be back a few more times before this summer is over.
There you have it, another day in this northern paradise. If you visit Kennebunkport in season there is one problem you’ll be forced to contend with. A small town, limited space, thousands of people and unless you pay there will be:
Just a friendly warning.
“Spring Has Definitely Arrived”
Yesterday was one of those days I look forward to every year. My better-half and I both love this time of the year regardless of the work involved. It was a day spent traveling around southern Maine visiting nurseries and buying the plants needed to complete this year’s garden. We like making a day of it and we visit as many nurseries as necessary to find the plants we’ve decided to grow.
For many years now we’ve shopped at a small nursery or what once was a small nursery along the border of Maine and New Hampshire. In the intervening years that nurseries reputation has spread and it’s no longer considered little. Healthy plants should be the goal of any nurseryman or woman and these people are the best. We tend to find their plants healthier and produce better than those purchased elsewhere. We spent at least an hour roaming through their greenhouses and making our selections. We picked up a few jalapeño and cayenne pepper plants and a selection of herbs to replace many of the ones that didn’t survive the winter.
We found some beautiful cherry tomato plants that should keep us in salad tomatoes until Fall. Those kind of tomatoes are also added to our vegetable mixes and canned. There’s nothing like having a selection of tasty garden veggies in the middle of a cold and snow covered February.
“The Rhubarb is Up”
We purchased a number of pickling cucumber plants that should deliver many dozens of cukes for making our Bread & Butter and Dill pickles as well as sweet and hot relishes. If this year’s production is as good as last year we’ll be very busy come September.
One of the items my better-half desired was a licorice herb. It’s leaves have a heavy licorice scent when heated. I personally like fennel or star anise for that flavor but I’m keeping an open mind for now. It would be a nice surprise if this new plant were easier to grow than the others and tasted better. We found the plant at our fourth nursery we visited and were very pleased. That plant can be difficult to find but certain nurseries are known for carrying the more unusual plants and we know them all.
“The Sprinkler’s are Installed”
It made for a really pleasant day and we returned home tired but happy to have found everything we were looking for. We should also have an excellent selection of herbs to harvest and dry this year to fill our requirements for the winter. Another week should get us past the danger of frost for this year and all of the new plants will be planted and left on their own to flourish for a month or two.
Our last purchase next week will be a large number of really fragrant marigold plants. We’ve learned over the years to plant them in and around the gardens to keep the critters away. Apparently small animals and even deer have a real aversion to those flower and their strong odor. If that doesn’t work then I may be forced to go the high-tech route. I have a neighbor who installed a system last year that has a motion activated sprinkler. If visited in the middle of the night by deer or other animals the sensors detect the animal and shoot a blast of water at the trespassers to scare them off. It sounds too good to be true but I’ll keep an open mind. We’ll just have to wait and see.
This morning is rainy and gray but the plants need the water and I need some time to loaf. We’ll be back at it soon enough. A few hours on the X-Box today should clear my head nicely.
Today is my ninth day living in this one-legged hell my life has become. I’ve learned a few valuable things in these nine days and I thought I’d share them with you.
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First, don’t break your damn leg. I know it’s a bit simplistic but sometimes you just need to be told the obvious.
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Second, hope and pray your relationship is solid because it will be tested. I’ve become somewhat irritable and difficult or at least that’s what my better-half has been screaming at me.
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Third, prepare yourself for the realization that all it takes is a small bone in your leg to break to turn you into a giant dependent ball of human flesh.
I was raised to be as independent as possible and have spent my entire life just that way. I hate relying on anyone for anything. I’ve had a few times in my life where I was laid up for a day or two but nothing like this. Six to eight weeks of sitting on my ass and stumbling around the house being unable to do a damn thing. It’s incredibly frustrating to say the least. My better-half remains supportive but realizes I’m quickly going out of my mind with cabin fever.
I’ve improved my walking abilities with these crutches but it’ll never be enough to make this situation bearable. Since I’m unable to carry coffee and walk on crutches at the same time it took a day or two for me to solve that problem. A sealable carry-mug that fits nicely into my pocket was the solution. I can now walk/hop/drag a leg to the kitchen, retrieve some coffee, and return to my chair. It sounds stupid I know but it’s a major accomplishment for me.
Thank God for my X-Box and IPad. Those two devices are the only things keeping me from going bat-shit crazy. I’ve always spent a lot of time on the X-Box but now it’s totally out of control. I’m afraid I may be developing a serious case of X-Box thumbs. The IPad has allowed me to connect with hundreds of other addicted Scrabble fanatics to play Word HD with Friends. A great little App that allows me to continuously play multiple games with people from around the country. The time really flies by very quickly when I’m focused in those games.
I received some good news on my follow-up visit to the orthopedist today. The leg is healing properly and no surgery will be required. I’m to spend the next two weeks doing things much the same as I’ve been doing. That news raised my morale a bit and hopefully in two more weeks I’ll be permitted to put some weight on the leg which will really jump start this recovery.
One other quick note. My better-half suggested a trip to Walmart today to pickup a few items and somehow strong-armed me into riding on one of their infamous electric carts. I put up a good fight but there was no talking to her. For years I’ve bitched and complained about certain people on those carts blocking aisles and being a general nuisance to other shoppers. Well, today I joined the elite ranks of the Walmart Disabled Shoppers Group. I was hoping for a Walmart hat or T-shirt but sadly I was out of luck. They wanted to give me a pair of pink sweat pants that had “JUICY” on the ass but I declined. Pink just isn’t my color. It clashes way too much with my purple sweatshirt and my orange Budweiser baseball cap. That’s my official Walmart shopping outfit.
We’re headed back home now where I’ll enjoy another afternoon of Scrabble, Tiger Woods 2011, and really bad TV. I must have done something really terrible in a past life to deserve this karmic ass-kicking.
I worked for two retail companies for a total of nineteen years which makes me something of an expert. I continue to be amazed at the poor hiring practices used by most retailers. They hire on the cheap and expect the world of those same inexperienced and poorly trained employees. Walmart is the largest retailer around and the stories from their stores are amazingly bizarre. They are just the tip of a gigantic and costly iceberg.
All of us have tales to tell about the odd, strange, and stupid behavior of cashiers from almost any chain or store you can think of. It has forced many companies to create cash register systems that are more and more complex. Their thought process is to make the registers so smart that it takes the guesswork out of the hands of the cashiers. It’s a great idea but doomed to failure. All that solution gives the store is an expensive and complex computer checkout system run by an eighteen year old inexperienced dumbass.
Here are a few stories I’ve found that make my point and then some.
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A cashier noticed that a man never signed his name on the back of his credit card. She informed him that she could not complete the transaction unless the card was signed. When he asked why, she explained that it was necessary to compare the signature on the credit card with the signature he’d just signed on the receipt. So he took a pen and signed the credit card in front of her. She carefully compared that signature to the one he signed on the receipt. As luck would have it, they matched.
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A young girl went to a local Taco Bell and ordered a taco. She asked the individual behind the counter for "minimal lettuce." He said he was sorry, but they only had iceberg.
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A woman was at the airport, checking in at the gate, when the airport employee asked, "Has anyone put anything in your baggage without your knowledge?" She said, "If it was without my knowledge, how would I know?" He smiled and nodded knowingly, "That’s why we ask."
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At a good-bye lunch for an old and dear retail coworker who was leaving the company due to "down-sizing," the store manager spoke up and said, "this is fun. We should have lunch like this more often." Not another word was spoken. Everyone just looked at each other like “deer in the headlights”.
These problems exist across the board with every type of retailer. Kids who can’t make the proper change even after the register tells them the proper amount. I could make a twenty minute shopping trip to any store and have at least one good story to tell about employee screw-ups. If you can imagine how many errors are being made on a daily basis in this country, it gets a little scary.
This should be considered your PSA (Public Service Announcement) for today. Keep your eyes and ears open when shopping because not all mistakes cost just the company money. You could be losing money every time you shop if your not paying attention. Check your receipt before you leave the store for any obvious errors. Companies are notorious for putting prices on a sign near the product but forgetting to update the UPC system. It costs us millions of dollars every year and that’s a conservative estimate.
Buyer Beware!
Yesterday I was out and about running errands and enjoying the sunshine and cooler weather. It was a perfect day to people watch and I dedicated a large portion of my time to doing just that.
It always amazes me just how much interaction with others occurs while waiting in line at register checkouts. For me these checkouts seems to have taken the place of those good old water cooler conversations of the past. Being in line forces us to allow others into our private zone where conversation and observation are almost unavoidable. Normally this circumstance is a pain in the butt but yesterday it was a little different.
The store was jammed with people. Tourists as always were underfoot and it seemed like every household in the state had family members grocery shopping. Kids were running around, people chatting in the aisles, and a general air of enjoyment which I thought was a little unusual. As I stood in the checkout line the women directly in front of me was placing her purchases on the counter while her daughter (2 or 3 years old) sat quietly in the shopping cart. She was sitting there in her cute little dress and she was people watching as well. Young babies are notorious for flirting and this little girl was no different. She was looking around and smilingly at everyone while she waited patiently for her Mom to checkout.
For some reason she turned quickly around and began to stare at me. I looked back and smiled but she just continued staring. She seemed fascinated by my mustache and started feeling her own upper lip with her finger. All of a sudden she began to laugh. You know that kind of infectious laugh that seems to move from person to person in a group and eventually everyone is howling. This tiny little girl couldn’t stop laughing. I know I can be funny looking but she just laughed loud and long and before I realized it everyone in our line and the adjoining lines were laughing as well. The more we laughed the more she laughed and I have to say it was one of the more pleasant moments I’ve experienced in many months. More than a few of us in the general vicinity were laughing so hard we were crying. As her mother pushed their cart away that little sweetheart was waving and laughing all the way out the door. Everyone was waving back and smiling and as she disappeared from sight we began talking together about how cute she was.
It was like the earth stood still for just a moment and all our defenses had evaporated. We came together as a group and shared a special moment. I’m sure that many of the people standing near that child will remember that experience for a very long time, I know I will.
At what age do we lose that child-like wonder that made that little lady so damn innocent and real. An emotional genuineness we could all use a great deal more of. A person could change the world forever if he or she could find a way to bottle and sell that. I hope that little girl holds onto that honesty and sincerity for many years to come but I suspect that won’t be the case. After she’s been exposed to the realities of life for a few years she’s sure to becomes more jaded and politically correct and I feel bad for her already.
For a moment she was a bright light that created a special moment in time that our select group of people was lucky enough to witness and be a part of. Every time I think I about it I can’t help but smile again.
Well, today was the Fourth and for a change the weather was absolutely perfect. Ninety degrees with a slight breeze along the shore to keep things just cool enough. We made our way to the town of Old Orchid Beach late in the morning and found the place already jammed with tourists. The beach was packed with thousands of people and if the car license plates we saw were accurate most of Massachusetts and Quebec had moved in for the holiday weekend.
The local business people decided to start early gouging as many visitors as possible with a new and higher parking lot charge, $25.00 for the day. Since last year the cost was between $10.00 and $15.00 we decided to find a parking spot in town on the street and to feed the parking meters. A huge pain in the ass but at the end of the day we saved about $15.00. Luckily we found a spot only two blocks from the beach so our walk wasn’t too bad.
We dropped our blanket under the Pier out of the sun and started snapping pictures in between trips into the water to cool off. We’ve been coming here for years and it was as crowded as we’ve ever seen it. After an hour or so we decided a meal or snack was in order. We trekked back to the car and did a quick strip tease on the street to change out our wet clothes. Thankfully the foot traffic in the area was light so my better-half’s rear half didn’t scare anyone too badly.
We ended up sitting on the shaded deck of the Surf 6 Club for a few refreshing drinks and a nosh of onion rings and chicken fingers. We met a few visiting tourists and were able to chat and have a great time. The band started playing at eleven am and were pretty good. They were playing not only for the customers of the club but for the hundreds of people nearby on the beach.
The OOB Pier extends out into the ocean for at lease three hundred yards and is covered with small shops and eating establishments. We worked our way to the end of the Pier for a a quick drink at the “Pier” bar and to take a few more photos of the beach goers from a different angle. The place was packed with tourists and everyone seemed to be enjoying the atmosphere and the dozens of bikini wearing female customers. We stayed only a half hour because we had to go and to feed the parking meter.
Next was the better-half’s favorite thing, shopping. We started hitting the shops to look through the tons of touristy junk with really unbelievably high prices. She was forced by her shopping addiction to make a few purchases and then we were off to the Arcade. She kicked my ass playing Air Hockey and followed her victory with a little Skee-Ball. We then strolled over to the amusement park.
We agreed that the cost for tickets on the rides was ridiculous so we took lots of photographs and just walked around enjoying the atmosphere. We hit a few more of the smaller shops in town as we made our way back to the car. The nicest part of these visits is that we live only seven or eight miles away and we returned home in short order.
Lounging on our deck and enjoying the cool breeze and a cooler drink was a perfect ending to a great day. The better-half just couldn’t stop herself from peppering the yard with firecrackers and Roman Candles. That was her extremely loud way to celebrate the country’s birthday. I was also pleased to see so many of the people in town and at the beach wearing red, white, and blue swim suits, head ware, t-shirts, and beach equipment. The meaning of the holiday wasn’t lost on most of us and that was nice to see.
We both hope your day was as nice as ours. Happy Birthday America!
I’ve mentioned in the past that my better-half works for Lowes Home Improvement. She’s worked there for a number of years and is what I would consider an honest and loyal employee. That being said she then becomes a huge target for my sarcastic wit. I worked in big box retail for a lot of years myself so I know exactly which of her buttons to push to make her a little crazy. I’m dedicating this posting to her and all of the other loyal slaves at Lowes.
I’ll be supplying her with a number of copies of this that she can distribute amongst her cashiers and service desk employees. After all knowing your customers is the best way to develop those in-demand customer service skills. Read and learn girls!
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You’re in the middle of a few spring projects: putting in a new fence, yard cleanup, putting in a new garden. You’re hot and sweaty, covered in dirt, lawn clippings, and paint. You have your old work clothes on. You know the outfit — shorts with the hole in the crotch, old T-shirt with numerous unknown stains on it, and an old pair of tennis shoes.
Right in the middle of these projects you realize you need to run to Lowes for supplies. Depending on your age you might do the following:
In your 20s: Stop what you’re doing. Shave, take a shower, blow dry your hair, brush your teeth, floss and put on clean clothes. Check yourself in the mirror and flex. Add a dab of your favorite cologne because, you never know, you just might meet some hot chick while standing in the checkout line.
In your 30s:
Stop what you are doing, put on clean shorts and shirt. Change your shoes. You married a hot chick so no need for much else. Wash your hands and comb your hair. Check yourself in the mirror. Still got it. Add a shot of your favorite cologne to cover the smell.
In your 40s:
Stop what you are doing. Put on a sweatshirt that is long enough to cover the hole in the crotch of your shorts. Put on different shoes and a hat. Wash your hands. Your bottle of Brute is almost empty, so don’t waste any of it on a trip to Lowes. Check yourself in the mirror and do more sucking-in than flexing.
In your 50s:
Stop what your doing, put on a hat, wipe the dirt off your hands onto your shirt. Change shoes because you don’t want to get dog crap in your new car. Check yourself in the mirror and swear not to wear that shirt anymore because it makes you look fat.
In your 60s:
Stop what you are doing. No need for a hat any more. Hose the dog crap off your shoes. The mirror was shattered when you were in your 50s. You hope you have underwear on so nothing hangs out the hole in your pants.
In your 70s:
Stop what you are doing. Wait to go to Lowes until the drug store has your prescriptions ready too. You don’t even notice the dog crap on your shoes. The young thing at the register stares at you and you realize your balls are hanging out the hole in your crotch.
In your 80s:
Stop what you are doing. Start again. Then stop again. Now you remember you need to go to Lowes. You go to Wal-Mart by mistake. You went to school with the old lady greeter.
In your 90s & beyond:
Something for my garden? Where am I? Why am I reading this? Did I send it? Did you? Who farted?
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My mission for today has been accomplished. As always, you’re welcome.
I must be losing my touch. As I’ve always made clear to one and all, I hate shopping. I also realize that a certain amount of it must take place whether I like it or not. I’ve slowly developed over the years into a standard male shopper as described on many occasions by women. First I determine what I need, then I look at the cost, then I travel to where it’s available, and then purchase it. Not much fooling around or standing in the aisles trying to decide about the color, size, and price. I do that before I get there, buy the thing, and get the hell out of there.
Many men have been criticized many times for this kind of shopping by our female counterparts. They seem to think that any way but their way was somehow incorrect. It’s useless to argue with them because as well as being the all-time best shoppers, they’re also always right about everything. It’s a heavy burden to bear but they manage to pull it off perfectly. Just ask any women and she’ll explain it to you in great, great detail.
I have been searching for a certain product for what seems like forever and I’m at my wits end. I’ve searched on-line and found dozens of the item but at a cost that is ridiculous once the shipping and handling charges are added in. Once on-line shopping was eliminated as a possibility I proceeded to find a local vendor for what I hoped would be a cheaper price. I’ve talked to a number of them so far with no luck. I thought by buying local I could eliminate the shipping expenses and still get a decent price. I couldn’t have been more wrong.
All I’m looking for is an simple 18 inch glass circle at least one quarter inch thick. I guess the simpler an item is the more difficult it can be to find. That makes no sense to me but it appears to be the reality of my situation. With each negative result I’m slowly being pushed into considering a method of shopping I’m not all that comfortable with, flea markets and yard sales.
For more than a few years I’ve been included in my better-half’s shopping forays into hundreds of garages and homes in southern Maine as she digs through the cast off items of their owners. I’ve always been a little put off by that but she seems to thrive on it. To me it’s like shopping at a Goodwill retail store. I have serious issues with shopping anywhere where a lot of my own things may be for sale. It’s just creepy.
I visited a few of the big box stores today with no luck. They’ll sell you a square piece of glass in a second but ask for a round piece and it’s like the end of the world. They get that stupid look on their faces and begin their song and dance on why they don’t have them available. I also visited a number of other retailers and again had no luck. My last resort was a local glass company who advertises every kind of glass known to man and they’ll cut it to order. On-line I would have been charged approximately $25.00 for the item and an additional $23.00 to ship it. This local retailer offered me what he considers to be his best deal. I can have my simple piece of 18 inch glass for a mere pittance, $51.00.
I have that nagging suspicion in the back of my mind that I’m being manipulated. The bottom line for me is this. I’m not paying fifty bucks for an eighteen inch piece of glass regardless of the seller. I didn’t think it could happen but I’m left without a solution to my problem. My better-half must be subconsciously laughing her ass off because she already knows I’ll be requesting her help in finding this thing. I see thousands of other people’s things in other people’s garages that I’ll be forced to paw through in my search for this piece of glass.
Ugh!
everyuselessthing.com 