Archive for the ‘trivia’ Tag
I’m feeling in a very ‘limericky’ state of mind this morning. It’s cold, gray, and nasty so a day sitting at the computer is called for. After perusing through my achieves I decided on a few fairly clean limericks based on accidental deaths or injuries. Rather than be off color I decided on weird and these got it covered and then some.
*****
There was an old lady named Crockett
Who went to put a plug in a socket.
But her hands were so wet
She flew up like a jet
And came roaring back down like a rocket.
*****
There was a young fellow named Weir,
Who hadn’t an atom of fear.
He indulged a desire
To touch a live wire
(‘Most any old line will do here!)
*****
Said a foolish young lady of Wales,
“A smell of escaped gas prevails.”
Then she searched with a light,
And later that night
Was collected in seventeen pails.
*****
A certain young man of great gumption,
‘Mongst cannibals had the presumption
To go – but alack!
He never came back,
They say ’twas a case of consumption.
*****
WELCOME BACK TO A 1960’S SENSE OF HUMOR
In the past I’ve been criticized for being somewhat unhappy with almost every organized religious group. I calmly sat by quietly accepting quit a number of less than Christian comments. They didn’t make me angry as you might think but in fact they made me smile. They just convinced me and others that I was probably accurate in my opinions. Today I will further defend my position by quoting some fairly well known individuals. They, like everyone else have opinions on damn near everything.
- “Science without religion is lame, religion with science is blind.” Albert Einstein
- “If men are so wicked with religion, what would they be without it?” Benjamin Franklin
- “In all ages, hypocrites, called priests, have put crowns upon the heads of thieves, called kings.” Robert G. Ingersoll
- “An archbishop is a Christian ecclesiastic of a rank superior to that attained by Christ.” H.L. Mencken
- “Religion is induced insanity.” Madalyn Murray O’Hair
- “Unlike Christianity, which preached a peace that it never achieved, Islam unashamedly came with a sword.” Steven Runciman
- “The Catholic faith is confession on Saturday. Absolution on Sunday. At it again on Monday.” H.G. Wells
- “If I had been the Virgin Mary, I’d have said, “No!” Stevie Smith
*****
So many people, so many opinions. As the old saying goes, “Opinions are like assholes, everybody’s got one.” It remains a truth regardless of what religion or lack of religion you believe in.
ENJOY YOUR SUNDAY, YOU SINNERS!
I thought I would supply all of my female readers with a few interesting historical facts from the early days of women’s rights. These women were the steppingstones that your gender walked on to get where it’s at today. Enjoy the history lesson.
- To prove that girls could master such subjects as mathematics and philosophy without detracting from their health or charm, Emma Hart Willard founded the Troy (NY) Female Seminary, in 1821.
- Not until 1932 was a woman elected to the Senate. She was Hatty Caraway, Arkansas Democrat. The first appointed woman senator was Rebecca Felton, a Georgia Democrat, in 1922.
- No woman held a Presidential cabinet position until 1933, when Francis Perkins became Secretary of Labor and she served a dozen years. Before her appointment in Washington, Ms. Perkins was an industrial commissioner for New York State.
- Mercy Otis Warren ( 1728 – 1814), at a time when women rarely played any part in public life, she became a propagandist for the US revolutionary cause, a confidant of John Adams, and an admired ally of most of the Massachusetts rebel leaders. She was a pioneer feminist who argued that women’s alleged weaknesses were due simply to inferior education.
- At a time when the education of girls in most prominent families which concentrated on needlework, music, dancing, and languages, Aaron Burr insisted that his daughter, Theodosia, learn serious subjects rather than ornamental ones “to convince the world what neither sex appears to believe – that women have souls!”
- For founding a birth-control clinic, in 1917, Margaret Sanger was jailed for a month in a workhouse.
ENJOY YOUR WEEKEND
MALAPROPS: A variety of verbal miscues from Grade
School, High School and College Examinations.
- Johan Sebastian Bach wrote a great many musical compositions and had a large number of children. In between he practiced on the old spinster which he kept up in the attic.
- The government of Athens was Democratic because the people took the law into their own hands.
- Solomon, one of David’s sons, had 500 wives and 500 porcupines.
- People have sex, while nouns have genders.
- The American colonists won the Revolutionary war and no longer had to pay for taxis.
- The bowels are A, E, I, O, U, and sometimes Y.
- He worked in the government as a civil serpent.
ISN’T EDUCATION WONDERFUL?
- A horse divided against itself cannot stand.
- The climate of the Sahara desert is so hot that certain areas are cultivated by irritation.
- Charles Darwin wrote The Organ of the Species.
- When a baby is born, the doctor cuts its biblical chord.
- The Greeks invented three kinds of columns: Corinthian, Doric, and Ironic.
- Brigham Young led the Morons to Utah.
THANK GOD I NEVER TOOK UP TEACHING
It’s hard these days tell tell if what we’re being told is true. Most companies and politicians have developed lying and fake news to new levels of confusion. We spend more time trying to determine if what we’re being told is a lie while the question we originally asked never gets answered. That’s always the grand plan for prevaricators of all kinds, misdirection and the parsing of words and phrases. It’s become an ugly art form for some people. Today’s post contains “true blue” facts collected from my archives with no manipulations or fake and misleading information. Here we go.
- The telephone has been one of the most profitable inventions in the history of the United States.
- One million threads of fiber optic cable can fit a tube 1/2 inch in diameter.
- In 1956, Johnny Mathis decided to record an album instead of answering an invitation to try out for the US Olympic team as a high jumper. It turned out to be a fortuitous choice.
- One ounce of pure gold can be made into a wire 50 miles long.
- President John Quincy Adams started each summer day with an early morning skinny-dipping in the Potomac River.
- America’s modern interstate highway system was designed in the 1950s during the Eisenhower administration. It’s primary purpose was not to enhance casual driving over long distances but to provide for the efficient movement of military vehicles if and when necessary.
- The human eye blinks an average of 3.7 million times per year.
- Terminal velocity for a human being is approximately 124 mph. To reach this speed, you would have to fall from a height of at least 158 yards or about 1 1/2 football fields.
- The Bible contains 32 references to dogs, none to cats.
- The word “nerd”comes from Dr. Seuss, who first used the term in his 1950 book If I Ran the Zoo.
I hope you’ve enjoyed reading this information that has not been edited, exaggerated, or just plain covered in BS. Real truths are much more interesting than most of the nonsense we’re being fed by corporate American and the politicians.
Quote for the Day
“IT IS SAD TO GROW OLD BUT NICE TO RIPEN”
Brigitte Bardot
It’s officially Fall here in Maine. The temperature has fallen and the winter clothing and extra blankets have been unpacked. I’m sure there are snowblowers all over the state being readied for what is sure to be coming. If that doesn’t depress you a little then nothing will. Today’s post contains limericks written in the late sixties and early seventies and should be considered poetry of a sort. They’ve even been categorized to make it easier for me to choose. Today’s theme will be “Virgins”. Enjoy!
*****
There was a young girl named Anheuser
Who said that no man could surprise her.
But Pabst took a chance,
Found Schlitz in her pants,
And now she is sadder Budweiser.
*****
There was a young fellow name Gluck
Who found himself shit-out-of-luck.
Though he petted and wooed,
When he tried to get screwed
He found virgins just don’t give a fuck.
*****
There was a young fellow named Sweeney
Whose girl was a terrible meanie.
The hatch of her snatch
Had a catch that would latch.
She could only be screwed by Houdini.
*****
A religious lassie named Claire
Was having her first love affair.
As she climbed into bed
She reverently said,
“I wish to be opened with prayer.”
*****
HAPPY MONDAY – HAVE A GREAT WEEK
Since I’m a bit of a “foodie” I thought I’d do a little research about food. I started my day watching an oldie-but-goodie, an episode of the original Iron Chef program from Japan. I now know everything I need to know about the preparation and consumption of pork belly. Let’s get on with this . . .
- Did you know that the cereal Post Toasties was originally named Elijah’s Manna. The name was changed in 1904 after objections were received from the clergy.
- The country of Norway consumes more spicy Mexican food than any other European nation.
- The literal meaning of the Italian word linguine is “Little tongues”.
- Margarine was originally called “Butterine” when first marketed in England.
- The top two selling spices in the world are pepper (top seller) and mustard.
- Peter Cooper, best know for inventing the locomotive “Tom Thumb”, also patented in 1845 a gelatin treat later marketed as “Jello”.
- There are 12 flowers embossed on an Oreo cookie, four petals on each.
- The standard pretzel shape was created by French monks in 610 a.d. and made to resemble a little child’s arms in prayer.
- Canned herring are called sardines. The process for canning originated in Sardinia where herring were first canned.
- When the Birdseye company first introduced frozen food in 1930, it was called “Frosted Food”. The name was changed shortly thereafter to “Frozen”.
Now you know. I also strongly recommend taking some time to visit the Roku Channel and the Iron Chef program. I loved it way back in the day and it still remains an all time favorite.
EAT, DRINK, AND DO MARY
🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡
It seems that this cold snap and the end of Summer is having a bad effect on almost everyone. So, for all you grumpy and pissed off people let me amuse you with a few really stupid newspaper headlines. They might just force some of you to smile.
ASTRONAUT TAKES BLAME FOR GAS IN SPACE
CHILD’S STOOL GREAT FOR GARDEN USE
COLD WAVE LINKED TO TEMPERATURES
BLIND WOMEN GETS NEW KIDNEY FROM DAD SHE HASN’T SEEN IN YEARS
MAN, SHOOTS NEIGHBOR WITH MACHETE
😮😮😮
COURT RULES BOXER SHORTS ARE INDEED UNDERWEAR
BITING NALS CAN BE A SIGN OF TENSENESS IN A PERSON
CHILDS DEATH RUINS COUPLE’S HOLIDAY
IF STRIKE ISN’T SETTLED QUICKLY, IT MAY LAST A WHILE
FARMER BILL DIES IN HOUSE
🫤🫤🫤
Cheer up people. Things could be much worse.
There’s only 81 shopping days left to Christmas.
Living in Maine has given me a great appreciation for monitoring the weather. Our winter here starts in late October and extends itself to the end of April, a full six months of snow, sleet, and cold. If you’re not a lover of miserable weather, I recommend you never move here. Today’s posting contains random weather tidbits you haven’t likely heard before. Enjoy!
- Lightning strikes the earth of hundred times every second, from the 1800 thunderstorms in progress at any given moment.
- Rain contains vitamin B-12.
- Observations of increased rain after US Civil War battles led to abortive experiments with weather control. Cannon volleys were fired into the clouds in order to induce rain.
- Nearly 100 pollution-filled, weather-beaten years in New York have done more damage to Cleopatra’s Needle – a granite obelisk covered with hieroglyphics – than did 3500 arid years in Egypt.
- 17 1/2 inches in circumference and 1.67 pounds in weight: that’s the size of the largest hailstone known to have fallen in the United States. It struck during a severe storm at Coffeyville, Kansas, in September of 1970.
- In 1816, there was no summer in many areas of the world. In parts of New England, snow stayed on the ground all year. Crops there and in Europe were ruined. Volcanic dust from the corruption of Tomboro in Indonesia that blocked the rays of the sun has been blamed.
- In living memory, it was not until February 18, 1979, that snow fell on the Sahara Desert. A half-hour storm in southern Algeria stopped traffic but within a few hours all of the snow had melted away.
- Residents in a small village in Scotland schedule their television viewing according to the tides. At low tide, the nearby mudflats absorbed the broadcast “waves”. Thank God for cable.
- On June 10, 1958, a tornado was crashing through El Dorado, Kansas. The storm pulled a woman out of her house and carried her 60 feet away. She landed, relatively unharmed, next to a phonograph record titled “Stormy Weather”.
- Due to friction with the surface of the planet, the wind retards or accelerates the spin of the Earth very slightly. A peak in the seasonal slowing of the planet is most evident during the northern winter.
C’MON WINTER
I’m not a huge sports fan but many people are. I’m strictly a baseball fan and have an interest in only one or two football games a season. Surprisingly many of our most famous celebrities played sports of one kind or another in their younger days. Check these sports fans out.
- Matthew Perry – Ranked teenage tennis star at age 13 in Ottawa.
- Kurt Russell – Left acting for Minor League baseball in 1971.
- Queen Latifah – Power forward on two state championship basketball teams.
- Richard Gere – Won a gymnastic scholarship to the University of Massachusetts.
- Tommy Lee Jones – Was a champion polo player.
- Keanu Reeves – Voted MVP on his high school hockey team.
- Billy Crystal – Attended college on a baseball scholarship.
- Jack Palance – Was once a professional boxer.
- Sarah Michelle Gellar – Was a highly placed competitive figure skater.
- Chevy Chase – Once worked as a tennis professional.
A guess there were a few surprises on that list but it’s nice to know that under all of that Hollywood nonsense lives a bunch of regular sports loving folks.
FALL SPORTS ARE HERE
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