Archive for the ‘winter’ Tag

01/14/2025 “HUMAN ODDITIES”   1 comment

How about a few strange trivia facts. After all this blog isn’t called Every-Useless-Thing for nothing. Here’s a small collection of useless things for your enjoyment.

  • One pound of peanut butter can contain up to 150 bug fragments and 5 rodent hairs.
  • Roughly 100 people die every year from choking on ball-point pens.
  • Some scientists view love in terms of addiction. One study discovered that monogamous pairing is based in the same region of the brain as drug addiction.
  • Studies show that 87 percent of people fear getting trapped in dull conversations at dinner parties.
  • A retired teacher in California once admitted that he taught for 17 years without knowing how to read or write.

  • There is a real neurological disorder called Alien Hand Syndrome (AHS). It causes the sufferer’s hands to move independently, without control of the action.
  • The acid in your stomach is so powerful that it can dissolve a razor blade in less than a week.
  • You can find 20 million microscopic animals living on a square inch of human skin.
  • More than 90 percent of women have asymmetrical breasts.
  • On any given day, approximately 400 million people across the globe will have sexual intercourse, which means that about 4,000 people are probably having sex right now.

THE HUMAN MIRACLE – NOT

01/11/2025 “ODD U.S. HISTORY TRIVIA”   Leave a comment

Well, it’s 2025 and I’m off to a good start. I’ve completed my New Year’s resolutions and thrown a little poetry your way. Not too bad for the first week of a new year. Since it’s freezing cold here in Maine and I’m stuck in the house and becoming a little disgruntled with this winter weather, I thought some morbid historical celebrity trivia was needed. Here ‘s the quiz . . .

  • What colonial patriot, author and inventor is buried at Christ Church in Philadelphia? Ben Franklin
  • What twentieth century president was born, raised, and buried in Hyde Park, NY? FDR
  • What famous pioneer and scout has his home and grave located in Taos, New Mexico? Christopher “Kit” Carson

  • What much loved western comedian’s home, birthplace, and grave can be visited in Claremore, Oklahoma? Will Rogers
  • Samuel Wilson’s grave is in Troy, NY. What U.S. symbol was he the original of? Uncle Sam
  • What is unusual about the large bust of Abraham Lincoln located near his grave? His bronze nose is very shiny because so many visitors rub it for luck.

  • What nickname for an Iowan resident honors the Sauk Indian chief Black Hawk? Hawkeye
  • What notable achievement of Thomas Jefferson’s life did he not mention when he created his own tombstone? President of the United States
  • Who is buried in Grants Tomb in Manhattan? Mrs. U.S. Grant and her husband.

β„οΈβ›„πŸŽΏ

ANOTHER DAY IN PARADISE

01/09/2025 “2025 RESOLUTIONS”   Leave a comment

I was really disappointed with my terrible showing on the 2024 New Years resolutions. Barring any unforeseen catastrophes I hope to do much better in 2025. I admit that my bout of laziness during those warm summer months didn’t help. I just had too many distractions!

*** HERE THEY ARE FOR 2025***

Read at least 100 books by years end (more if possible).

Complete at least four illustrations for use as gifts for next Christmas.

Complete one sculpture using a technique I haven’t used before.

Show more patience to my better-half’s retirement adjustments.

Attempt to write some serious poetry that’s worth reading.

Continued monitoring of the grandsons for new and exciting cuss words. (Minimum of 1)

Continue to ignore all of the weird and bizzare health tips from the Internet. (This one is too easy.)

I plan on being more serious about completing the resolutions this year. I’ve always set goals for myself for most of my life with a great deal of success. This will be a lot more fun because the only person looking over my shoulder these days will be ME!

CHALLENGE YOURSELF

01/04/2024 “ODD EUROPEAN HISTORY”   Leave a comment

I’m a lover of all things historical. I’m always on the lookout for books and reference material concerning not just the history of the United States, but of the world. Like it or not the history of the world in its entirety is much worse than this country ever has been. Here are a few examples of that history.

  • The Olympic Games of 1916, scheduled to be held in Berlin, were cancelled due to “global unpleasantness.” Thats just another world for WWI.
  • The medical officer at the Birmingham prison in 1918 recommended that any condemned men be supplied with at least a dozen cigarettes a day.
  • In 1920, King Alexander of Greece, uncle of the Duke of Edinburgh, died after being bitten by a pet monkey.
  • In 1921 in Russia, while reporting on the famine, Arthur Ransome found an old woman so desperate for food she was reduced to cooking horse dung in a broken saucepan.

  • In 1923, Coco Chanel set the trend for tanning when, on a Mediterranean cruise, she inadvertently allowed herself to go brown in the sun. The fashion world immediately assumed it was the chic thing to do.
  • In 1927 during a London run at the Little Theatre, an adaption of Dracula, caused 29 people to faint requiring a nurse to be on hand at all showings.
  • In 1936 during his brief period as king, Edward VIII once avoided an awkward interview by jumping out a window in Buckingham Palace and running away to hide in the garden.
  • In 1938 having just returned from Munich and bringing “peace for our time”, Prime Minister Neville Chamberlain requested an update on the long-tailed tits nesting in the Treasury building.

BE GLAD YOUR HERE

01/02/2025 “2024 NEW YEARS RESOLUTIONS”   1 comment

Earlier this year in September I posted an update of my New Years resolutions. I only listed five items this year rather than my normal ten because I’m old, lazy, and distracted by damn near everything. Here is my final tally for 2024. I have to say it’s a little disappointing. See what you think.

READ MORE THAN 100 BOOKS

This is a big “INCOMPLETE”. After checking with Kindle and my home library I missed my target by two books. I’m currently reading book number 99, but I won’t get it finished until sometime in January (it’s a large tome).

TRY TO BE A LITTLE FRIENDLIER TOWARDS THE REST OF THE WORLD

This was the hardest one for me. I’m claiming a big “COMPLETE” because I feel I discovered a simple solution on how be friendlier to the rest of the world. I’ll just limit my contact only with people who I like and those that like me back. That has vastly improved my “niceness” profile because the people who dislike me never get to hear from me.

KEEP DUNKIN’ EXPENDITURES TO LESS THAN $40.00 A MONTH

I claim a big “COMPLETE” on this one. Fortunately for my wallet, my better-half retired this year. I’ve been freed from those constant coffee runs to Dunkin Donuts to feed her coffee addiction. That leaves me approximately $400.00 a year to feed my favorite addictions for a change.

COMPLETE EIGHT PAINTINGS OR PRINTS

This resolution was another “INCOMPLETE”. I finished only five prints so far due to a two-month bout of absolute laziness. I’ll certainly improve this next year, I hope.

LEARN AT LEAST FOUR NEW CUSS WORDS FROM MY GRANDSONS

This is another “INCOMPLETE”. I was only able to come up with one new cuss word that I overheard when my two grandsons were having a private conversation. I was eavesdropping like any good adult should do but I’m still not sure which one of the boys said the magic word “shitster”. I have no context for that word, but I sure liked the sound of it. Being a “shitster” is probably way better than being a gangster. At some point I may ask the boys for clarification but first I may use the word during a conversation with their parents when they’re close enough to hear me. LOL

πŸ˜’TWO OF FIVEπŸ˜’

HOW DID YOU DO IN 2024?

12/31/2024 “HAPPY NEW YEAR”   Leave a comment

Well, it’s New Years Eve once again. This was a fun holiday when I was in my teens and twenties but these days not so much. I never really understood what the big deal was and still don’t. It’s just a day and night made for drinking, carousing, and avoiding sobriety check points. I hope none of you become victims of that stupidity and cause an accident that may harm yourself and others by drinking and driving. In my years as a police officer, I made a point of not working on this holiday. I took the day off and then occasionally drank too much, caroused too much, and got really stupid. I managed to survive but only just.

This year I’m housebound and safe from the fits of holiday stupidity. Please be safe . . . and not too stupid. I wouldn’t want to be reading about any of you on “the day after”. Let me bring a few smiles to your lips before you decide to begin your celebration by taking a little trip to the 1980’s for some occasionally rude and hilarious humor.

  • If the shrimps come in on a shrimp boat, how do the crabs come in? On the captain’s dinghy.
  • Why did Miss Piggy miss her last concert? She had a frog in her throat.
  • What happens when you moon in bumper-to-bumper traffic? You wind up with your ass in a jam.
  • What’s the difference between a counterfeit dollar bill and a skinny girl? The counterfeit bill is a phony buck.
  • What’s the definition of a real lady? Someone who doesn’t smoke, doesn’t drink, and only curses if it slips out.

  • Why did they name the new feminine hygiene spray SSY? Because it takes the PU out of pussy.
  • What happens when a guaranteed condom breaks? The guarantee runs out.
  • What’s 138? Dinner for four.
  • When do you know you’ve had the world’s best head? You have to pull the sheet out of your ass.
  • What’s the difference between frustration and panic? Frustration is the first time you find out you can’t do it the second time, and panic is the second time you found out you couldn’t do it the first time.

BE CAREFUL OUT THERE

12/28/2024 “X-MAS FOOD COMA”   Leave a comment

Christmas is gone . . . thankfully. I love all the presents, and I love all the decorations (if I’m not forced into putting them up), but my downfall is all the damn food. I’m what you might call a “taster”. I love tasting everything and this year was the worst since last year. I swear we had enough food for twenty people but unfortunately, there were only seven of us. That means that I’ll be eating reheated holiday leftovers for at least the next two weeks. Also, let’s not forget the large influx of food anticipated on New Years Eve and again on New Years Day. I have absolutely no willpower and I’ll probably be found dead with a large slab of lukewarm ham hanging out of my mouth. With that cheery thought in mind, I’ll be posting a few tidbits of trivia about food as I sit here eating blueberry donuts and cherry lifesavers.

  • Animal Crackers were introduced in 1902 as a Christmas novelty item and packaged with a string for a handle. It made it easier to hang them on the Christmas tree as an ornament.
  • Coffee was officially recognized as a Christian drink by Pope Clement VIII in 1592.
  • Most of the egg rolls sold in grocery stores in the United States are actually produced in Houston, Texas.
  • The American city that consumes the most ketchup is New Orleans.
  • Eighty-seven percent of whole milk is water.

  • Miss Piggy of Muppets fame was once quoted, “Never eat more than you can lift.”
  • The term “Surf & Turf” was coined by gastronome Diamond Jim Brady and was first served to him at a waterfront restaurant in Brooklyn, NY, in the late 1880’s.
  • The name Lorna Doone was the name given to a shortbread cookie in 1869 based on a novel by the same name.
  • Baskin-Robbins introduced an ice cream, Lunar Cheesecake, in 1969 to commemorate the moon landing.
  • Salsa overtook the ever-popular ketchup as the top selling condiment in 1991.

BRING ON NEW YEARS, I’M NOT TOO AFRAID

12/26/2024 “GOODBYE CHRISTMAS”   Leave a comment

Don’t get me wrong, I don’t really dislike Christmas, but I certainly dislike the never-ending and relentless commercialization of what is supposed to be a religious celebration. I have to credit Amazon for doubling down on the holidays like never before because they’ve made it entirely too easy for people to overspend which in turn requires me to discipline myself like never before. Just too many gadgets, too many commercials and an endless supply of scammers who may be the hardest workers of all during the holidays. For every email I get from friends and family members, I get 100 from scammers and spammers. I’ve slowly been turned into a paranoid person like never before. It feels good to have the holiday over so I can get back to what I call normal (and I use that term loosely).

The post today will be taking a sharp left turn from the holidays to celebrate three things I love: poetry, young children, and Winter. Here are a few samples of great poetry by a few up-and-coming young poets.

By Gilliam Humphrey, Age 10, New Zealand

Winter stalks
At a steady pace.
Being sullen in choosing
The weather of tomorrow
The sour, chilly breeze
Sweeps the showery sky
The pods of rain
And minced mud
Bring forth a wintry day.

❄️❄️

By Thea Boughton, Age 11, United States

Fluttering helplessly

Buffeted, the bewildered starling

Pecks and shivers.

πŸ‚πŸ»πŸ‚πŸ»

By Harji Patel, Age 11, Kenya

It was a silent day, the trees didn’t move

Nobody bowed to the wind, the sun didn’t rise

The cold breeze blowed.

It was a naughty day that didn’t wake!

β›„β›„

By Diane Hill, Age 11, England

Slowly melting, slowly dying

My heart drops with the drips

The long finger of ice stretches out

And its tears roll off its tip.

🎿🎿

By David Lippu, Age 13, United States, a Haiku

First snowstorm romp . . .

Her puppy’s wet kiss

Froze on my sister’s glowing cheek.

❄️❄️❄️

A GREAT WAY TO START THE NEW YEAR

(Special Thanks to Richard Lewis)

12/24/2024 “A KOREAN CHRISTMAS”   2 comments

The following story took place in Korea in 1967. It was my first Christmas without family and friends, and I really felt that loss. Here’s my story of how a few Korean friends helped make that Christmas one to remember . . .

I’ve talked a great deal over the years about my experiences while serving in the Army. As with any young man or woman serving outside of this country, being away from home and family during the Christmas season for the first time is difficult.  In my case I was not only away from family, but I was also in a non-Christian country that seemed to be more than a little primitive to me.

Their religion was primarily Buddhist, and the Christmas holiday meant very little to them. They at times pretended to understand but that was motivated entirely by their desire to make money from visiting Americans.

At the time I was stationed in an area that was primarily populated by rice farmers living in small villages that dotted the northern countryside. There were no paved roads and most villages only had electric power for a few hours a day.  For those of us from the United States it was like traveling back in time a hundred years.

I was living almost full time in a local village and actually had my laundry taken by a local woman to a nearby river where it was beaten on the rocks with wooden paddles and soap.Β  That certainly took some getting used to for me.Β  My Korean friends seemed totally befuddled by the entire Christmas holiday bro-ha-ha and sat politely and silently as I tried to explain it to them. They were interested in my stories of Christ and the Magi, but the virgin birth story had them all giggling a little.

Regardless I was determined to have a Christmas celebration so I asked a few of my them for their help in putting up a Christmas tree.  They agreed to help but weren’t exactly sure what I was up to. As that project was progressing I had a little old mama-san ask me through an interpreter why would any sane person put a tree inside their home. I was hard pressed to answer her because I didn’t know the reason either. They continued to humor me as I explained other peculiarities that they couldn’t quite grasp.

A week or so later with two Korean friends I hiked up a nearby mountain near a small Buddhist temple to find a tree. We ended up dragging back the sorriest looking bush you could ever imagine, set it up in my hooch, and started to decorate it as best we could. There was a hand-made star on top of the tree (my doing) and a number of pieces of charcoal tied to the branches with twine (their doing). I never had that fully explained to me, but it was what they wanted to do. It had something to do with good luck or good pregnancy or something. Since we had no electricity, they suggested placing candles in and around the tree, but I nixed that idea immediately. The last thing I needed was to burn down my hooch and a portion of the village when my little, dry, and nasty looking tree, burst into flames.

I had some GI decorations I made from C-rations that looked stupid as hell, but the villagers loved it. Later we ate most of the decorations and drank a bottle of really cheap brandy that I’d brought along for the occasion. I presented them each with a small gift of candy and got a little kiss on the cheek from everyone.

It wasn’t pretty and it wasn’t sophisticated, but it was heartfelt. Looking back over the years it remains one of the best Christmases I’ve ever had. It also helped endear me to the villagers and them to me. The following Christmas they even arrived with a strange collection of ornaments for my tree and couldn’t wait to once again hear my holiday stories.

즐거운 μ„±νƒ„μ ˆ

12/21/2024 “CHRISTMAS SILLINESS”   Leave a comment

πŸŽ„πŸŽ„πŸŽ„

With only a few days left until Christmas, I thought a little humor was needed to help calm the nerves of all you Christmas elves. I’m sure you’re exhausted from all the shopping, wrapping, and dealing with the excitement of your children and family. Today’s post is just a little humor to lighten the mood. I’ll be saving my best Christmas post for Christmas eve.

This is a corny joke but what the hell, it’s Christmas:

Three men died on Christmas Eve and were met by Saint Peter at the pearly gates. “In honor of this holy season,” Saint Peter said, “You must each possess something that symbolizes Christmas to get into heaven.” The first man fumbled through his pockets and pulled out a lighter. He flicked it on. This represents a Christmas candle, he said. Saint Peter then directed him through the pearly gates. The second man reached into his pocket and pulled out a set of keys. He shook them lightly and said, “These are Christman Bells”. Saint Peter immediately passed him through the pearly gates. The third man started searching desperately through his pockets and finally pulled out a women’s red thong. St. Peter looked at the man with a raised eyebrow and asked, “And just what do those symbolize?”
The man replied, “They’re Carols”.

Nothing like a sweet Christmas kiss.

πŸŽ…πŸ»πŸŽ…πŸ»πŸŽ…πŸ»

Christmas History Tidbit

In the sixteenth century, many Christians gave up the Catholic faith and became Protestants. The rejection of Christmas rituals was done to allegedly to keep the religion pure. Later, in 1647, a law was passed by Parliament abolishing Christmas altogether. Some believers felt that the law went much too far. There were times when entire congregations were arrested for celebrating Christmas.

⭐⭐⭐

JUST GOES TO SHOW THAT YOUR CHRISTMAS COULD BE WORSE