A few days ago I was listening to a stand-up comic on-line making jokes about the cost of women’s products he found in his wife’s vanity. He claimed to be utterly shocked that she spent $80.00 for a small vial of some magic ointment that would make her feel younger and better about herself. He made me laugh a lot but then I got to thinking. How did those products develop and where? Todays post may help you understand where it all started and who is to blame. LOL
Cosmetics and Makeup – 8,ooo years ago in Egypt.
Eye Makeup -4000 B.C. – Again from Egypt
Rouge, Face Powder, Lipstick – 4000 B.C. from the Greeks
Beaty Patches & Compacts – 17th Century Europe
Nail Polish – Pre-3000 B.C. from China
Creams, Oils, Moisturizers – 3000 B..C. from once again those damn Egyptians.
The Mirror – 3500 B.C. from Mesopotamia
Hair Styling – 1500 B.C. from Assyria
Cold Cream – 2nd Century from Rome
Modern Hair Coloring – 1909 from France
Wigs – 3000 B.C. – again from Egypt
Hair Pins – 10,000 Years Ago – from Asia
Hair Dryer – 1920 – Wisconsin, USA
The Comb – Pre-4000 B.C. from Asia and Africa
Perfume – Pre-6000 B.C. from the Middle and Far East
I decided today would be a good day to introduce all of you to “limerick time-travel”. This collection of limericks were created prior to 1900 so the wording may sound a bit strange. It just goes to further show that human beings while separated by more than 100 years write their limericks about all the same stuff. He we go . . .
💥
1879
There was a young man of Berlin
Whom disease had despoiled of his skin,
But he said with much pride
“Though deprived of my hide,
I can still enjoy a put in.”
💥💥
1878
There was a young lady of Rheims
Who was terribly plagued with wet dreams.
She saved up a dozen,
And sent to her cousin ,
Who ate them and thought they were creams.
💥💥💥
1870
There was a young lady named Tucker
Who, instructing a novice c*ck sucker,
Said, “Don’t bow out your lips
Like an elephant’s hips,
The boys like it best when they pucker.
💥❤️💥❤️💥❤️💥
And here’s a favorite from the year of my birth – 1946.
The Bible is the most stolen book in the world despite its message containing the commandment “Thou shalt not steal,”. It’s a fact! Not only is it stolen from book stores and libraries it is also shoplifted in large numbers from just about anywhere. In it’s blatant attempt to teach and scare the hell out most Christians it also finds it necessary to describe in great detail many of mans most questionable habits. Todays post will test your biblical trivia knowledge concerning one of my favorite topics, “prostitutes”. The answers will be listed below.
Who went on a killing spree when their sister Dinah was treated like a prostitute?
Where did the prostitute Rahab live?
What judge of Israel was a prostitutes son?
What prophet did the Lord tell about two prostitutes named Oholah & Oholibah?
What character in a parable wasted his money on prostitutes?
What epistle warns Christians against patronizing prostitutes?
According to Jesus what prophet had prostitutes and tax collectors as followers?
Who ordered his daughter-in-law Tamar burned because she had acted like a prostitute?
What king served as judge when two prostitutes fought over a child?
Who had a vision of a prostitute with a city’s name engraved on her head?
✝️✝️✝️
BONUS:
According to tradition, what follower of Jesus had been a prostitute,
though the Bible does not refer to her as one?
✡️✡️✡️
Answers
Levi & Simeon (Genesis 34:25-31), Jericho (Joshua 2:1-6), Jephthah (Judges 11:1), Ezekiel ((23:1-21), The Prodigal Son (Luke 15:30), 1 Corinthians (6:15-16), John the Baptist (Matthew 21:32), Judah (Genesis 38:24), Solomon (1 Kings 3:16), John (Revelation 17:5), BONUS Mary Magdalene
As most readers are aware I’m not what anyone would consider religious. I was raised as a Catholic but wandered away from it at a very early age. I have no problems with people who believe but my problems are with any “organized religions”. Once a religious movement of any kind become embroiled in politics, I disregard it completely. I’m a big believer in “self” but I’ve never received mystical tablets from on high or been visited by angels or by God or by supposed visions. I find those claims to be disingenuous and preposterous..
In the mid-1960’s I was serving with the Army on the DMZ in South Korea. I often explored the country on my off-time and discovered a small Buddhist temple in a rural area on the side of a mountain in central South Korea. The monks there spoke broken English and I spoke broken Korean which made for some interesting conversations. Over the months they were able to communicate to me what I later discovered were the basic beliefs of Buddha. Not colored by politics or government restrictions but truths on how to live a good and wholesome life created by inner peace and self-control. That’s when I became what many would consider me to be a half-assed Buddhist. I learned to appreciate Zen and the power of meditation without shaving my head or wearing orange robes or lighting my self on fire to make a political point. Have I always been successful in finding that inner peace – absolutely not, but I keep trying. Here are a few pearls of wisdom from the man himself.
“Do not dwell in the past, do not dream of the future, concentrate the mind on the present moment.”
Buddha also explained that all human suffering is caused by desire – for comfort, possessions, power, sex, love, or even life itself. Knowledge of ourselves comes from contemplating on three basic facts:
Nothing in the universe is lost. Even though you will die your constituent parts will remain part of the universe.
Change is constant, so any happiness based on things outside of ourselves is an illusion.
Every action has a consequence – a reminder that everything we do affects others.
Buddha was something of an agnostic and I’ve always seen myself in that way. In my humble opinion each of us is our own God. Look inside yourself to find and see the truth.
I’m a life long Pittsburgh Steeler fan thanks to my father and grandfathers. It was black and gold all the time beginning at the age of 4. That’s when I finally realized what football was and how important it was for family unity. No matter what, you stayed loyal to the team. I learned a large and varied collection of interesting cuss words over the years as we sat and listened to the games, especially during those seasons that the team wasn’t particularly successful. I relished the 1970’s and the four Superbowl wins and managed to maintain my sanity though a couple of decades of so-so football.
Todays post is my offering to the real Steeler fans out there who just can’t get enough information on the teams colorful history. Here are ten trivia questions to test your “fandomness” (I made up that word so no smart-ass comments about my spelling). As always, the answers will be listed below. Enjoy . . .
What future NFL coach was the offensive coordinator with the Steelers from 2007-2011?
Whose 89-yard touchdown pass to Dwight Stone in1991 was the longest pass thrown at Three Rivers stadium?
In 2001 , which Pittsburgh linebacker was named NFL Defensive Rookie of the Year?
In 2011, Ben Roethlisberger threw the longest touchdown pass in franchise history. Who caught the 95-yarder?
Which receiver made 217 appearances for the Steelers between 1998 and 2011?
The Steelers set a franchise after starting the 2020 season with how many consecutive wins?
Which Steeler legend is the author of a 2021 book called “Heart and Steel”?
Which tight end, which was drafted by the Steelers in 2015, shares his name with a famous wild west outlaw?
Since the AFL/NFL merger, only two Steelers quarterbacks have thrown for more than 400 yards in a game. Big Ben is one, who is the other?
Eight of Troy Polamalu’s 35 interceptions were against what team?
BONUS QUESTION
Which running back rushed for 161 yards from 22 carries and caught a
48-yard pass in his first career start for the Steelers against the Titans in 2005?
🏈🏈🏈
Answers
Bruce Arians, Neil O’Donnell, Kendrell Bell, Mike Wallace, Hines Ward, 11 Wins, Bill Cower, Jesse James, Tommy Maddox, Cleveland Browns, BONUS – Willie Parker
I thought today I would post a few sports related limericks. I need to cheer up a little after finding out the NFL morons put the screws to Coach Belichick. They couldn’t find a way to beat him on the field so they they took their cheap shot by denying him a first ballot entry into the Hall of Fame. If they had any balls at all they’d step forward and explain their reasoning. We need to know just who these stupid vindictive bastards are.
💥
I was told by a football-mad chum
He’d been badly mauled in a scrum.
One poor ear, I hear,
Ended up in the beer,
And his teeth in a quarterback’s bum!
💥💥
A golfer, employing a wedge,
Chipped his chip-shot behind a thick hedge.
But he hadn’t been seen,
So he strolled to the green
And dropped a new ball on the edge.
💥💥💥
A basketball player named Small,
Who was actually fourteen foot tall,
Could score just by standing
And putting his hand in
The basket and simply dropping the ball.
💥💥💥💥
There’s no-one so dreadful as Bender,
For batters whose bodies are tender.
He gets on their nerves
With his murderous curves
That demand either death or surrender.
🏈🏈🏈🏈🏈
I trashed the NFL because of their mistreatment of Belichick. That was coming from a life-long Steeler fan whose teams regularly had their asses kicked by Belichick. Good is just good and admiration lasts forever.
❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️
GO STEELERS & PATS AS LONG AS THEY AREN’T PLAYING EACH OTHER
Am I a Steeler fan – Hell YES! Am I a fan of the NFL in general – HELL NO! Like any other large and money drunk organization it has slowly become corrupt to the point of ridiculousness. It’s not the players but the legions of hanger-on’s making millions of dollars for themselves and effecting the game in more way’s than I even realize. I keep hearing about how unfair some of the officiating has become and the powers-that-be are investigating. How about a little transparency for all of us dumb-ass fans. I want to know the results of the investigations and what corrective measures that were taken. For sure I’m not “holding my breath” on that happening.
Now that my rant has been completed I’ll be posting information that might interest the true Steeler fans out there. I’ve obtained a book recently with trivia facts about the team I’ve never heard before. I find it interesting that this book was published by a true British Steeler fan – Chris Bradshaw and I’m reasonably sure he’s no relation to Terry. This first quiz concerns only questions concerning Big Ben. Answers will be listed below. Let’s get to it . . .
In what year did Roethlisberger make his debut withe the Steelers?
How old was Ben when he won his first Superbowl?
Roethlisberger was the fourth quarterback to win 100 of his first 150 NFL starts. Who were the other three?
Roethlisberger made a cameo appearance in which 2012 superhero movie?
Ben was one of four quarterbacks taken in the first round of his NFL Draft class. Name the other three.
What is Ben’s middle name?
Roethlisberger threw for a franchise-record 522 yards during a 2014 win over which AFC rival?
With which pick of the NFL draft did the Steelers select Big Ben?
What is the most touchdown passes that Ben has thrown in a single regular season?
Ben started his rookie season as the third-string quarterback behind which two veterans? Who are they?
🏈🏈🏈
Answers
2004, 23, Terry Bradshaw, Joe Montana, and Charlie Batch, The Dark Knight Rises, Tom Brady, Eli Manning, and Philip Rivers, Todd, Indianapolis, 11th – Pick 19, 34, Tommy Maddox & Charlie Batch.
I’ve been told for many years by a host of dog loving family members, neighbors, and assorted experts that “dogs are a mans best friend“. I think in some cases that’s true based on my years of experience with my father who raised and trained beagles. Our house was constantly filled with herds of puppies and I had the misfortune of shoveling a few thousand wheelbarrow loads of dog sh*t as one of my many disgusting chores. I’ve owned a few dogs over the years but finally came to realize and admit that I’m quite simply a “cat person“. I still like dogs but only if they’re someone else’s. Todays post is primarily for all of you dog lovers out there and includes a few of my favorite dog jokes which don’t require me to shovel anything.
What do you call a gathering of Pomeranians at a bar? YAPPY HOUR
What’s a dogs favorite wine? PLEASE, PLEASE, THROW MY BALL.
What are a dogs three favorite drinks at the bar? A MUTTINI, A COSMOPOODLETIN, AND AN AVALANCHE FOR ALL THOSE ST. BERNARDS OUT THERE.
A man went to visit a friend and was amazed to find him playing chess with his dog. “I can hardly believe my eyes!” he exclaimed. “That’s the smartest dog I’ve ever seen.” “Oh, he’s not so smart,” the friend replied. “I’ve beaten him three games out of five.”
Dogs will come if you call them. Cats take a message and get back to you.
My Favorite Dog Haiku
The sound of dog treats
Shaking inside their box
It’s like the angels singing.
A police officer and his K-9 partner were sitting in a parked police van on the side of the road. A little boy looked in the back of the van, then came around to the officers window and knocked. The office rolled down the window. “Is that a dog you’ve got back there?” the boy asked. “It sure is.” the policeman replied. The boy looked back at the van, then back to the officer. “What did he do?” asked the boy.
I’ve noticed in recent years that many people are questioning the value of a college education. I agree with that but not entirely. If you’re majoring in a useful subject that will help improve your life and that of society – DO IT! If your majoring in some lame-ass course that teaches you to spot acne forming on the asses of transgendered people – JUST STAY HOME. I’m a college grad who majored in Design and Commercial Art and I’ve never held any job even remotely related to it. Todays blog entry is proof that college degrees and college education are only as good as the student permits them to be. These items are called “malaprops” (meaning “inappropriate”) misstatements taken from actual high school and college exam papers. Sadly, they’re all true. Read on …..
Samuel Morse invented a code for telepathy.
Louis Pasteur discovered a cure for rabbis.
Pharoah forced the Hebrew slaves to make bread without straw.
Moses led them to the Red Sea where they made unleavened bread, which is bread made without any ingredients.
Christmas is a time for happiness for every child, adult, and adulteress.
Good punctuation means not to be late.
Don’t is a contraption.
Adam and Eve wore nothing but figments.
Columbus discovered America while cursing about the Atlantic.
The first book of the Bible is the book of Guinesses.
And last but not least My Fav.
If a pronoun is a word used in place of a noun, a proverb is a pronoun used in place of a verb.
I realize that it may be a little too early to be posting on this subject but what the hell. Every year I tease myself by listing a number of resolutions for the new year. My success rate leaves much to be desired but occasionally I actually DO complete a few. I’m posting early because my rate of success this year has been dismal. I’d blame some of it on my better-half who just completed her first year of retirement. To say she’s been a huge distraction is an understatement – goodbye to my wonderful days of PEACE & QUIET. Here’s my list for 2025 and all my lame excuses.
Read at least 100 books by years end(more if possible). If I finish reading my current book by years-end I will have read only 88 books. FAILED
Complete at least four illustrations for use as gifts for next Christmas. COMPLETED
Complete one sculpture using a technique I haven’t used before.FAILED – Due to my total lack of interest and laziness. Maybe this coming year I can get it done.
Show more patience to my better-half’s retirement adjustments.COMPLETED – I’ve shown more patience than ever before but I have a long way to go to satisfy her.
Attempt to write some serious poetry that’s worth reading.FAILED – Completed a few poems and a couple of limericks but I wasn’t happy with the less than adequate results.
Continued monitoring of the grandsons for new and exciting cuss words.COMPLETED – This may have been the easiest one to complete. It’s official, and thanks to day care, school, and some family adults the “F-Bomb” has been released. I’m so proud!!
Continue to ignore all of the weird and bizarre health tips from the Internet.COMPLETED – Thanks to all you internet experts and your misguided and incorrect medical BS.
My final tally was disappointing – 4 of 7 completed. I still have a few weeks to give a great deal of thought for my resolutions for 2026. It’s good to set goals even if you’re reasonably certain they won’t all be met.
everyuselessthing.com 