Well yesterday was when the ever-so-lame Earth Day was celebrated. I’ve never celebrated this day the same way I don’t recognize or celebrate Kwanza. All of you so-called “Greenies” out there can get as excited as you’d like but not me. My concern for the environment is ongoing every day and not just on one day. Many people are truly “Green” but they’re in the minority. The majority of citizens when polled all love Earth Day but ask them again a week later. They aren’t quite that serious about it as they’d like everyone to believe. It’s become a social stigma not to beat the environmental drum.
This is a partial repost from April of 2013 to show that my opinions remain unchanged. Here are a few facts about how Earth Day was started and by the POS who was responsible. Read and learn you “Green” fools about one of your demi-gods who cared more for the planet than the life of an innocent women.
I’ve been around since the inception of Earth Day by Ira Einhorn and his half-assed hippy movement and while some of the initial ideas were valid concerning abuses of the environment it has now evolved into a semi-religious movement with goals and political aims that go way too far and are harming the country. Everything green becomes more important than life itself. The movement has no respect about another person’s property rights, their jobs, or the devastating effect many of the stupid EPA laws have had on unsuspecting citizens and businesses.
As in any political movement you must look at the leader for his ideas and credibility. Einhorn to me is just a stone-cold killer who thinks the laws of society don’t apply to him.
Ira Samuel Einhorn, a.k.a. “The Unicorn Killer” (born May 15, 1940), is a convicted murderer, and American activist of the 1960s and 1970s. He is now serving a life sentence for the 1977 murder of Holly Maddux.
How many Earth Days has “Holly Maddux” missed since she was beaten to death by Einhorn, stuffed into a trunk, and stuck in a closet. It took more than twenty years to find, arrest, return him to this country, and convict him.
To quote the murderer: “Underlying the themes of Earth Day is a call for mankind to align itself with nature, and against itself, enlisting human beings to take part in a battle that seeks to place humanity under the control of an enlightened elite, one that values the interests of nature above that of people.
If you’re interested and want more information about Einhorn and Earth Day, just click here to learn more about the case:
I decided today to prove once and for all that this blog is fair in the things that it posts. I’m a sports fan when it comes to baseball (Pittsburg Pirates), and I’ve been accused on a couple of occasions that I’m biased towards the teams I like and not so much against the teams I dislike. I know that’s a shock for all of you since none of you would ever do things like that, but I do. Today I’m going to push back a little by telling you a story about one of the Pittsburgh Pirate’s more infamous players and how he earned that reputation. This post is all about Dock Ellis and his famous or infamous no-hitter.
Ellis was, as major league pitchers go, a bit of an odd duck. He wore hair curlers during pregame warm-ups, and according to the baseball records he only stopped when the commissioner of baseball demanded that he do so. In 1974, while pitching against the Cincinnati Reds he hoped to motivate his team by taking aim at the other team’s players – literally. In the first inning alone, he beaned three players (including Pete Rose) before throwing a pitch behind the Hall of Fame catcher Johnny Bench’s head, after which he was promptly removed from the game.
On July 12, 1970, the Pirates had just finished a two-game series in San Francisco and were enroute to San Diego. Since it wasn’t Ellise’s turn to pitch, he spent the day in Los Angeles with some friends, relaxing and dropping acid (LSD). Due to scheduling changes the Pirates had an unscheduled doubleheader in San Diego that afternoon when an extra game was added. Ellis was expected to take the mound and he rushed to catch a shuttle and make it to the ballpark just in time for his game. Through the nine innings he pitched, he struck out six batters, walked eight, but gave up no hits and won 2-0 (a rare and unusual no-hitter). The following quote was later offered up by Ellis in a book where celebrities tell their real-life stories of addiction and recovery. Here’s the quote.
“I can only remember bits and pieces of the game, I was psyched, I had a feeling of euphoria. I was zeroed in on the catcher’s glove, but I didn’t hit the glove too much. I remember hitting a couple of batters, and the bases were loaded two or three times. The ball was small sometimes, the ball was large sometimes, sometimes I saw the catcher, sometimes I didn’t. Sometimes, I tried to stare the batters down and throw while I was looking at them. I started having a crazy idea in the fourth inning that Richard Nixon was the home plate umpire, and once I thought I was pitching a baseball to Jimi Hendrix, who to me was holding a guitar and swinging it over the plate. They say I had about 3 or 4 fielding chances. I remember diving out of the way of the ball I thought was a line drive. I jumped, but the ball wasn’t hit hard and never reached me.”
Dock retired from Major league baseball after the 1979 season and turned over a new leaf. He became a drug addiction counselor and passed away in December of 2008 at the age of 63.
I think today I’ll keep this post rather short. I’m actually celebrating the fact that after two and half days of having no electric, no Internet, no phone service, and just generally cold and crappy weather, the storm has ended, and things are beginning to normalize. This ice storm destroyed most of southern Maine by damaging trees, adjacent homes, and dangerous conditions for any traveling. We have trees down everywhere and there’s still a few hundred thousand people in Maine with no power. I guess I got lucky that my street was repaired only after we sat in the dark and cold for two days. This is the second such storm in as many months totaling eight solid days of no utilities Internet, power, etc. etc. etc. It just brings home the fact that we rely on technology for damn near everything. Unfortunately, it’s also the first thing to fail.
I’ll probably be spending a great deal of time in the next few days trying to clean up the property because in my backyard alone I have three trees down and they have to be removed. I know that sounds bad but compared to most of the neighbors in this area I got off with minor damage. I thought I had all of the contingencies covered with storm preparation by installing a generator to carry the load when the electric goes out. Unfortunately, when the generator was supposed to kick in and turn on the electric it failed to work. Trying to find service people during a storm crisis is ridiculously difficult but I did get lucky. I made one call requiring that I travel 2 miles from my house, stand on my car roof and wave my hands in the air to get a signal in the midst of all this chaos. I guess I have to believe in miracles because within a half an hour of making that call, I returned home to find the electrician, his son, and a truck load of parts in my driveway. They dismantled my generator and immediately corrected the problem. As I write this, I’m still amazed. Things like that almost never happen but I’m certainly glad they did.
After all of that aggravation the power was fully restored this morning and now the cleanup begins. I hope and pray there are no more surprise spring storms showing up. Nothing good comes of these storms except if you own a Home Depot or Lowe’s, then you’re making a damn fortune. More to come in the next day or so and hopefully I can get this blog back to normal by then. Meanwhile . . . .
A young playboy took a blind date to an amusement park. They first went for a ride on the Ferris wheel. When the ride was over, she seemed somewhat bored. “What would you like to do next?” he asked. “I want to be weighed,” she said. So, the young man took her over to the weight guesser. “112 lbs,” said the man at the scale, and he was obviously right. Next, they took a ride on the roller coaster. After that, he bought her some popcorn and cotton candy, then asked what else she would like to do. “I want to be weighed,” she said again. I really latched onto an odd one tonight, thought the young man, and using the excuse that he had developed a headache, he took the girl home. The girl’s mother was surprised to see her home so early, and asked, “What’s wrong, dear, didn’t you have a nice time tonight?” “It was “Wousy,” said the girl.
Q. Why is air a lot like sex?
A. Because it’s no big deal unless you’re not getting any.
When Ralph first noticed his penis was growing longer and staying erect longer, he was delighted, as was his wife. After several weeks his penis had grown to twenty inches. Ralph became quite concerned as he was having problems dressing and even walking. So, he and his wife went to see a prominent urologist. After an initial examination the doctor explained to the couple that, though rare, Ralph’s condition could be fixed with corrective surgery. “How long will Ralph be on crutches?” the wife asked anxiously. “Crutches? Why would he need crutches?” responded the doctor. “Well,” said Ralph’s wife coldly, “you are going to lengthen his legs, aren’t you?”
Q. What’s the difference between a lesbian and a Fritz cracker?
A. One’s a snack cracker, and the others a crack snacker!
I’ve been a baseball lover my whole life. I have a hard time watching baseball games these days because it’s always been more fun to play than to watch. Thank God for highlights provided on the Internet which makes watching much more pleasant. I was born in the Pittsburgh area and was required to be a rabid Pirates fan by my father and grandfathers. Unfortunately, the team has been a serious disappointment for the last twenty or so years. I still follow the team but not too closely anymore. Maybe that would change if the management of the team ever decides to pry open their fat wallets and spend a little extra money for next level players.
I’m also big into trivia and as I’m surfing the net or reading books, I constantly look for baseball trivia. Fortunately, or unfortunately some of the greatest stories were from the early years of the game before rule changes that made it impossible for players to show much emotion. The current whinny umpires are a tad too sensitive for my liking and really need their moms to show up and hug them. Those nasty baseball players are just soooooooo mean and they apparently hurt the poor umpires’ feelings. Just step-up guys and grow a pair!!! If it’s too upsetting for you – get the hell out of the business. They are one of the reasons that will eventually cause the league to turn over all umpiring duties to computers.
Here are a few trivia facts for you for a taste of baseball at its best.
One of the most popular baseball players of the 1880’s was a catcher-outfielder named Michael Joseph “King” Kelly, who played for Cincinnati, Chicago, New York and Boston. Kelly was a good hitter and a great baserunner. When he tried to steal a base his fans would shout, “Slide, Kelly, Slide!” This phrase was soon printed in the newspapers and made Kelly famous. Kelly was also an alert ballplayer who was always looking for a way to get an advantage over the other team. One day, when he was sitting on the bench, an opposing batter hit a high foul ball that none of Kelly’s teammates would be able to catch. Kelly leaped off the bench and went after the ball. At the same time, he was shouting to the umpire, “Kelly now catching!” Kelly caught the ball, but the umpire refused to allow the catch. “It’s not against the rules,” Kelly declared. “It says in the book that substitutions can be made any time.” The umpire still wouldn’t call the batter out. But Kelly was right. That winter, a new rule was written into the book. Because of Kelly’s alert play, the new rule said that a player could not enter the game while the ball is in play.
On August 13, 1910, the Pittsburgh Pirates played the Brooklyn Dodgers. After nine innings the game was tied, but darkness stopped play. The nine-inning statistics showed that each team had scored 8 runs on 13 hits and committed 2 errors. Both clubs had sent 38 men to the plate, with both sets of fielders credited with 27 put-outs and 12 assists. There were 5 strikeouts recorded against each team, and each side had given up three walks. It was the evenest game ever played.
One day in a Southern League game a batter for Knoxville smashed a long, high fly to center field. Arnie Moser, the centerfielder for Nashville, ran all the way to the scoreboard. The ball was over Moser’s head, and he leaped for it but missed. The ball hit the scoreboard and came down. Moser also hit the scoreboard but did not come down. His belt had caught on a wooden peg, and he was hanging helplessly on the fence, unable to chase the ball and get it back to the infield. Moser’s teammate left-fielder Oris Hockett came racing over to back-up the play. “I’m stuck! Get me down!” yelled Moser. Hockett looked up at his friend, looked for the ball, and looked at the runner rounding second base. He had to make a choice quickly. “Get me down!” yelled Mosier again. “Wait a minute”! hollered Hockett. He picked up the ball and threw it back to the infield to keep the runner from scoring. Only then did he go back to the fence and help get Arnie Moser off the scoreboard peg.
It’s another gray and rainy day here in Maine. We had a bit of sunshine yesterday and I had my first hour of deck time without freezing my ass off. But unfortunately, today things have returned to what is normal for March. I just needed something today to make me smile and these jokes were just what the doctor ordered so I thought I’d share them with you.
😁😁😁
A trucker had driven his fully loaded rig to the top of a steep hill and was just starting down the equally steep other side when he noticed a man and woman lying naked in the center of the road, making love. He blew his horn several times as he was bearing down on them. Realizing that they were not about to get out of his way, he slammed on his brakes and stopped just inches from them. Getting out of the truck, madder than hell, the trucker walked up to the two, still in the road, and yelled, “What the hell’s the matter with you two? Didn’t you hear me blowing my horn? You could’ve been killed!” The man on lying on the highway, obviously satisfied and unconcerned, looked up and said, “Look, I was coming, she was coming, and you were coming. You were the only one with brakes.”
😹😹😹
Q. How do you get four old ladies to shout “Fuck”?
A. Get a fifth old lady to shout “Bingo”.
🤪🤪🤪
The rescue squad was called to the home of an elderly couple for an apparent heart attack. When the squad got there it was too late because the man had died. While consoling the wife, one of the rescuers noticed that their bed was a mess. He asked the lady what symptoms the man had suffered and if anything had precipitated the heart attack. The lady calmly replied, “Well, we were in bed making love and he started moaning, groaning, thrashing around the bed, panting, and sweating. I thought he was coming, but I guess he was going.”
😂😂😂
Q. How do you make 5 pounds of fat look good?
A. Put a nipple on it.
😉😉😉
Two guys are camping. They are having a little conversation, when all of a sudden one guy yells, “I just got bitten by a snake on the tip of my penis.” The other guy says, “Don’t worry, I’ll go into town and ask a doctor what to do.” So, the guy goes to the nearest town and after 30 minutes finds a doctor. He asks the doctor, “Doctor, my friend just got bitten by a snake. What should I do?” The doctor says, “All you have to do is suck the poison out.” So, the friend returns to the campsite where his friend is lying on the ground whimpering. He asks, “So what did the doctor say?” The friend says, “I’m sorry but the doctor says you’re going to die!
🙂🙂🙂
Q. What’s the ultimate rejection?
A. When you’re masturbating and your hand falls asleep.
It seems to me that celebrating leap year every four years makes no sense. It’s not a holiday, just another extra day they (unknown person or persons) had left over so they stuck it in February. It seems that history looks at leap year as 366 leap days and thus damns the entire year with all of this “leap” nonsense. After looking into the history books, leap year is nothing to be proud of. The following list tells you about some of the wonderful things that’ve happened during a leap year. I don’t see anything on this list that requires a celebration.
1204: the Fall of Constantinople, collapse of the Byzantine Empire.
1232: start of the Spanish Inquisition.
1400: A black plague epidemic rages, killing one in every three Europeans.
1572: St. Bartholomew’s Night happens – the mass murder of the Huguenots in France.
1896: Japan’s most devastating tsunami.
1908: the fall of the Tunguska meteorite (Tunguska event).
1912: the sinking of the Titanic.
2020: global coronavirus pandemic.
There are a few things you should avoid during a leap year, so say the so-called experts.
Life Changes Should Be Postponed
Do Not Change Jobs
Financial Difficulties
DoNot Start a New Business
Do Not Buy a Home
Tell Noone About Your Future Plans.
Do Not Adopt Pets
If Older Do Not Buy Your Funeral Clothing in Advance
All Leap Year Travel Should Be Postponed
Try Not to Plan a Pregnancy or Childbirth in a Leap Year.
On top of all these dire warnings here are a list of people born during leap years. It appears some are good, some are bad, and some are worse.
Julius Caesar
Leonardo da Vinci
Isaac Levitan
David Copperfield
Vladimir Putin
Pavel Durov
Mark Zuckerberg
After reading this post you should realize that to be safe during a Leap Year you should never leave the house because everything you do or think could be dangerous. I find it ironic that during the pandemic we were required to stay in the house and limit contact with the rest of the world. It’s even stranger that 2020 was the year that Covid-19 turned into the monster that terrorized the planet. It wasn’t slowed down all that much by all of these lame and useless Leap Year warnings or by the numerous ineffectual government requirements. Just more utter nonsense.
I thought I’d start the day off by being a wise ass. Let me set this up by explaining that I detest Country & Western music. I’m not entirely sure why but I do. My better-half is addicted to it resulting in hundreds of hours that I’ve spent gritting my teeth and cringing over the constant barrage of alleged music spewing from Alexa. I’ve been requesting for months my need for a really expensive noise-cancelling headset. Like my dad always said, “Wish in one hand and sh*t in the other, see which one fills up the quickest.” That means if I really want a noise cancelling-headset, I’ll be buying it myself. To further explain my dislike of C & W music let me supply you with a number of song titles from that genre and then ask yourself this question, “Is this real music or just a poor parody much like something from Weird Al Yankovic.
I’m, Gonna Hire a Wino to Decorate Our Home” David Frizzell
“She’s Actin’ Single (I’m Drinkin’ Doubles)” Gary Stewart
“Now I Lay Me Down to Cheat” David Allen Coe
“She got the Goldmine (I Got the Shaft)” Jerry Reed
“You’re the Reason Our Kids Are Ugly” Loretta Lynn
“I Cheated Me Right Out of You” Moe Bandy
“The Lord Knows I’m Drinkin'” Cal Smith
“You’re Out Doing What I’m Here Doing Without” Gene Watson
“Divorce Me COD” Merle Travis
“I’m the Only Hell (Momma Ever Raised” Johnny Paycheck
In my younger days I considered myself a scratch golfer. I played with many of my friends, family, and people I worked with for years and always had a great time. I thought today I’d lighten things up a little with some golfing jokes. I’m sure all of you golfers out there will appreciate these three jokes but I can honestly say they can’t compare to the experiences I actually had with my friends and family. Enjoy . . .
One day a man came home from work and was greeted by his wife dressed up in a very sexy nightie. “Tie me up,” she purred, “and you can do anything you want with me.” So, he tied her up and went golfing.
So, there are three golfers, (Bob, Max and Ted) who are looking for a fourth. Bob mentions that his friend George is a pretty good golfer, so they decide to invite him for the following Saturday. “Sure, I’d love to play, says George, but I may be about 10 minutes late, so wait for me.” So, Saturday rolls around. Bob, Max, and Ted arrive promptly at 9 AM and find George already waiting for them. He plays right-handed and beats them all. Quite pleased with their new fourth, they ask him if he’d like to play again the following Saturday. “Yeah, sounds great”, says George. “But I may be about 10 minutes late, so wait for me.” The following Saturday, again, all four golfers, show up on time, but this time George plays left-handed and beats them all. As they’re getting ready to leave, George says, “See you next Saturday, but I may be about 10 minutes late, so wait for me.” Every week, George is right on time and plays great with whichever hand he decides to use and every week, he departs with the same message. After a couple of months, Ted is pretty damn tired of this routine, so he says, “Wait a minute, George. Every week you say you may be about 10 minutes late, but you’re right on time. You then beat us either left-handed or right-handed, what’s the story? “Well,” George says, “I’m kind of superstitious. When I get up in the morning, I look over at my wife. If she’s sleeping on her left side, I play left-handed, and if she’s sleeping on her right side, I play right-handed.” “So, what do you do if she’s sleeping on her back?” “Well . . . That’s one of days I’ll be 10 minutes late.”
A man constantly and continuously talked only about golf. His angry wife threatened to leave him if he didn’t talk about something else. She: “Let’s talk about sex.” He: “I wonder if Tiger Woods got laid last night?”
During the 80’s life was pretty interesting. I was traveling a lot, meeting a lot of people, and generally enjoying my life. But it wasn’t all fun and games as compared to the lifestyles we have currently. Anyone identified as a Millennial then would have lost their effing minds. Political correctness was a rare thing and having a sense of humor required a thick skin. I’ve come upon in recent months a number of collections of humor from the 1980’s and for all of you Millennial’s out there, buckle up, the rides about to get a little bumpy.
When should you start playing with yourself in a restaurant? When there’s a sign that says, “First come, “first served!”
What would calla liberal who’s overweight and perverted? A bisexual built for two!
What did the surgeons say to the guy who wanted to do his own operation? ”Suture self!”
Why should you always travel with a sixpack in the wintertime? In case you have to leave a message in the snow!
What’s the harshest penalty for bigamy? Two mothers-in-law!
What would you call a drink made out of orange juice and milk of magnesia? A Phillips Screwdriver!
What’s a wool diaphragm? A sock in the puss!
What’s a sanitary pad that girls can wear while dancing? Diskotex!
Why are erections like elections? It can get really stinky around the polls!
When is premature ejaculation a serious problem? When it occurs between “hello” and “what’s your sign?”
My Fav:Why do farts smell? So deaf people can enjoy them, too!
everyuselessthing.com 