Archive for the ‘Bitch & Complain’ Category
‘At least the sunflowers are doing well.’
We been receiving a fair amount of rain in recent weeks which was certainly needed to keep the garden healthy. It just seems to me to be “too little, too late”. This years garden has not been as good as we’d hoped but regardless we learned a few valuable lessons. A different approach will be taken next year to eliminate a repeat of this years mediocre performance.
We’ve had some successes and a few failures this year. Most of my jalapeños and other hot peppers have flourished except for the Ghost peppers. I was hoping to harvest the seeds from them but It isn’t looking good. I also planted a number of bell peppers of different colors and none of them are doing well. The better-half had a few of them planted in containers on the deck and they seem just fine. That tells me either the soil in the garden is lacking or I haven’t watered enough.
The cucumbers are a mix of good and bad. I planted three varieties of pickling cukes but they were either mislabeled or I’ve simply been ripped off. Pickling cukes are advertised as being smaller than the norm making it easier to slice and pack them into jars. Only about a third of the ones I planted this year have been the correct size. It’s frustrating and annoying as hell not to get exactly what you thought you paid for.
Our first planting of radishes were awful. They were hollow and pulpy and inedible. We’ve since planted a second batch which will hopefully be ready in a few weeks.
‘We have a million of these.’
Our healthy zucchini plants are doing extremely well as you can see. The better-half will be shredding as many of them as possible for freezing. We’ll be having zucchini bread all winter and that’s always a good thing.
Earlier this year when I was explaining about all of our problems with the visiting skunk, I was really happy when most of the plants that were dug up survived. It’s apparent now that the trauma and stress from the skunk damage ruined any chances for us to have what we’d consider a really successful garden.
I’ll begin the harvesting and drying of the herbs this week because in another month or so this years garden will be coming to an end. We’ve already had discussions for next years garden plan and a soil test will first on the list of things to do.
LIVE AND LEARN
I think I’ve developed a real dislike for making pickles. It’s a chore I’m expected to do every summer but I’ve lost some of my motivation this year. It all started last night when I placed forty pickling cucumbers into a lime bath. The lime is absorbed into the skin and helps keep the finished product a little crunchy. I went to bed last night thinking about stupid pickles and everything I needed to do today. Gather the jars, get the pots, mix the pickling syrup, and pick the jalapenos and other hot peppers from the garden. Here’s the table at 7:30 am.
Next is the fun part (sarcasm). A double wash in clean water to remove the excess lime and then slicing all of the cucumbers and peppers into usable sizes. I’m normally good enough with the knife to only cut myself once or twice. You just can’t make pickles without a little bloodletting.
The worst part of making pickles is the packing of the slices into the jars. I was bored enough at the start but this always annoys me somewhat. Without my better-half available to assist the process takes what seems like forever.
Once the jars are packed then the lids and bands are added. To insure a proper seal the jars are then placed into a boiling water bath for ten minutes. Once that’s done they’re set aside to cool. As they cool you can hear a loud click from each jar as the seal is set. Then they’re labelled and stored on the pantry shelf.
‘Today’s Finished Product’
The following is a partial list of what we’ve produced so far this summer from both the garden and other sources (berry patches, eggs from neighbors etc.). We aren’t bragging (maybe a little) but we do want to show how much can be harvested from a medium sized garden with a little compost and a lot of TLC. This list will increase as the summer progresses and once I start cutting and drying the herbs. Here goes.
2015 Summer Production
25 Pints of habanero B & B pickles
13.5 Quarts of Black Bean/Corn salsa
3 Pints of Tripleberry jam
8 Pints of Strawberry/Rhubarb jam
3 Pints of Strawberry jam
8 Pints of Blueberry jam
12.5 Quarts of Four Bean/Corn Chili
13 Pints of Habanero Dill Pickles
2 Quad Berry/Rhubarb Tarts
4 lbs. Diced and Frozen Rhubarb
3 Loaves of Chocolate/Zucchini Bread
3 Loaves of Spice Zucchini Bread
6 lbs. of Fresh Pea Pods
5 lbs. of Cherry Tomatoes
3 lbs. of Jalapeño Peppers
4 lbs.. of Assorted Hot Peppers
9 lbs. of Fresh Zucchini
10-15 lbs. of Assorted Lettuces
MORE TO COME!
Starbucks . . . what can I say about Starbucks? Something good? Something bad? I have it . . . something sarcastic, of course. As most of you are aware I’m not their biggest fan. The only accomplishment that Starbucks can claim as their own was to increase the price for a simple cup of coffee from $.10 a cup to prices well north of $3.00 a cup. Thanks a lot Starbucks!
My dislike of Starbucks is directly related to the area of the country from which it sprung. I passed through the northwestern section of this country in the mid-sixties on my way overseas and then again upon my return. I’ll never forgive or forget the shabby treatment most of us servicemen received from the left leaning liberal residents of the area.
That being said let me tell you about my visit to Starbucks yesterday. I was dragged out into the heat of the day to accompany my better-half running errands. She stopped for a quick hair trimming and I was left sitting in the car sweating my ass off. It was either sweat and be miserable in the car or go into the nearby Starbucks and be unsweaty and just as miserable there.
I ordered my “Grande” coffee which for you normal people out there means a “Large”. I guess it hurts less when you’re handed a “Grande” coffee and charged $3.50. Seated next to me were a foursome of young ladies that appeared to be in their early or mid twenties. I noticed them immediately because only one of them had blue hair and the total number of piercing for the table was less than ten. Shocking!
They were getting a little boisterous in their support for those Greenpeace heroes attempting to block a river in Oregon by hanging off a bridge and floating below in the river on their kayaks. Years ago I was an avid Greenpeace member but abandoned their organization when their goals and principles took a strong left leaning direction. These young ladies were fully in support of this blockade but didn’t see the obvious irony. Greenpeace is blockading an oil ship from passing as they sit in the middle of the river in plastic kayaks. They must have forgotten that those cute little plastic boats are made from plastic, a petroleum bi-product. How ironic and hypocritical at the same time, a liberal specialty.
“They should try this logo, it might increase their market share.’
I didn’t engage them during their group rant but I did laugh out loud a couple of times. It’s good that they have a sympathetic company like Starbucks that supplies them a place to hang out and support all of the tremendously unimportant liberal causes . . . of course at a price, $3.50 a Grande.
Every summer about this time I donate one day of my time to the making of dill pickles. I’ve loved dill pickles for most of my life and if I do say so myself, I make one helluva pickle. Mine are a bit different from the store-bought variety since I pickle the cucumbers in a dill brine accompanied by a selection of sliced habanero’s and jalapeno’s. The results have the best dill flavor I can supply with enough heat to make your head sweat.
My better-half isn’t a big fan of the dill flavor so I’m relegated to making one small batch each summer that will usually last me most of the winter. I have a couple of other people in the area who are also big fans of dill and I make enough to keep them supplied as well.
The process begins with a 48 hour bath for the cucumbers in lime water. This will help keep the pickle slices crisp after the canning process has been completed. While the cukes are soaking I slice up a sufficient amount of habaneros and jalapenos to add to the mix. I was able to pick up a package of fresh dill yesterday and I’ll place a small sprig in the top of each jar. It’s mostly for decoration purposes but in addition to that I also add dried dill to the brine.
After the cucumber slicing, dicing, and jar packing, the final product is covered with dill brine and capped. Then into a boiling water bath to help seal the jars and to precook the pickles. Then it’s on to the cooling rack for a few hours and here’s the finished product.
Thirteen pints of some truly hot and tasty dill pickles. Good for any occasion or you can just sit and eat a jar while watching a movie. If possible and if we have a good supply of cucumbers I may make a second batch of Kosher Dill pickles later this fall. It’s a totally different flavor of dill and I love it as much as these.
* * * NEWS FLASH * * *
Today is a big day for us. Today is our Independence Day from cable TV. All of the companies equipment has been removed and will be shipped back in a few days. The account was closed after the typical games these companies insist on playing. They offered me a 50% reduction in my monthly rate if I would reconsider and stay with them. I asked only one question. If they could afford to do that so easily now it must mean they’ve been overcharging me for years. We agreed to disagree and that was that. Good-bye, Good Luck, and get the hell out Dish Network.
* * * HOORAY FOR US * * *
It’s a Saturday morning in Maine in July. It’s rained through the night and everything is wet and bright green as you’d might expect. The downside is that it’s 6:00 am and my better-half has awakened me because of our planned trip to a nearby church festival. I was informed that it’s critically important that we arrive before 8:00 am before all of the good stuff is gone at the Flea Market. Just as a point of information the “Flea Market” is nothing more than the basement of the church filled to the rafters with crap. If I chose to be politically correct it could be called antique, vintage or preowned but that would be stretching the meaning of those words to the limit. Imagine thousands and thousands of objects discarded by hundreds and hundreds of people scattered across forty of fifty tables, in side rooms, and even outside in tents. The great majority of the items are priced at a dollar or less and even then it’s a rip-off (in my humble opinion). I understand it’s money raised for a church charity so overcharging for crap is accepted and expected.
It was so crowded with crazy people I could barely move around. I felt pressured and obligated to buy something because this flea market was being run by a friend and former co-worker. I dug down deep into my moth infested pocket where I found two one dollar bills. I decided on a purchase which I would present to my better-half on her birthday. I imagine every women in the world wants, needs, and desires a beautiful yet tacky Betty Boop toilet paper roller.
After that purchase I fled the scene and returned to the fair for some greasy and unhealthy fair food. There was plenty to go around.
‘Salted, greasy, unhealthy, and almost delicious.’
‘Hot sausage sandwich, peppers, onions, and a butt load of cholesterol.’
‘Chicken anyone?’
With my belly full I made a bee line for the tent where the books were being sold. I try to buy a sufficient number to carry me through the upcoming winter but the selection wasn’t as good as in previous years. I purchased a few but disappointed there weren’t more.
No real fair or festival fails to have the obligatory Disney presence with Mickey and Minnie posing for pictures with the kids. I asked cute little Minnie to sit on my lap for a picture but she adamantly refused. Nobody likes a prudish and fake mouse and she was really mean too!
My better-half made a number of trips to the car with her arms loaded with just about everything. She bought food, toys, raffle tickets, and enough other crap to fill my trunk and backseat. I was more than a little happy to see that church in my rear view mirror as we pulled away.
Another three and a half hours of my life I’ll never get back.
‘My New Workout Buddy’
I had a great workout yesterday. Normally I’d spend forty-five minutes on the treadmill and all the while watching some ridiculous television rerun. I’ve been doing my workouts every other day for the last year and a half but as time goes by it becoming more of a boring task than a healthy approach to my life. On top of that I’m tired of hearing myself bitching and complaining about it endlessly. I’ve discovered over the years that I have the uncanny ability to annoy even myself and not just others.
With the upcoming cutting of my TV umbilical cord I’ve begun taking steps to prepare myself for what I’m sure will be a certain amount of withdrawal from my life-long television addiction. It will difficult I’m sure but absolutely necessary.
‘I’d judge that as a 9.5’
I’ve turned away from my exercising in front of the television to embracing an old love . . . music. I’ve never considered turning to music on the treadmill because I’ve always loved music and hated mandatory exercise. Mixing the two seemed somehow wrong. I was forced to rethink my entire approach to these things because cable television is making me insane.
I’ve had an IPod full of thousands of songs for years but have used it sparingly. I’ve always disliked wearing ear buds because the accompanying loss of hearing of my surroundings makes me wary and uncomfortable. Yesterday I jumped on the treadmill, put in my ear buds, and turned on my IPod. The silence of the world was replaced for the first twenty minutes by those politically incorrect Dixie Chicks who pissed me off years ago as they did a large segment of the country. I still love their music but detest their political naiveté.
‘President Bush’s Fav’s’
The next twenty-five minutes were consumed by the late darling of the British Isles, Amy Winehouse. I love her brash lyrics and low and sexy sound. She made the remaining time fly by and I actually found myself totally entranced by her music and my memories of her. It was wonderful.
I guess I accomplished three things yesterday. I kicked my TV habit, I had a kick-ass workout, and I began a new love affair with my IPod and Ms. Winehouse.
To quote one of Amy’s lyrics, "Where is my moral parallel?". My answer is the same as hers . . ."I have none."
FADE TO BLACK
All of us folks who love blogging seem to have that secret wish to be a published and recognized writer. We read the classics as students and are told by our teachers what great and wonderful authors they were. What they failed to explain was that these same incredible writers had private lives that were all too often a nightmare.
I’ve spent my life hanging out with creative types and have been amazed. I’ve found myself speechless at times after really getting to know them and seeing them for what they really are, just plain old, screwed up, and faulty human beings like everyone else. Without their creativity they’d be an average Joe with all the normal problems and complaints. Unfortunately that creativity gene has the bizarre ability to turn normal run-of-the-mill problems into absolute disasters. Boozing, drug use, and all too often an early and tragic death.
With that being said I thought I’d offer up some words of wisdom from some of our more creative celebrities. This is my lame attempt to show them as just regular folks with a huge twist. Let’s go . . . .
-
“Listen, everyone is entitled to my opinion.” Madonna
-
“I wish men had boobs because I like the feel of them. It’s so funny, when I record I sing with a hand over each of them. Maybe it’s a comfort thing.” Baby Spice
-
“The only way to get rid of temptation is to yield to it.” Oscar Wilde
-
“I say no to drugs. But they don’t listen.” Marilyn Manson
-
“I don’t want to achieve immortality through my work; I want to achieve immortality through not dying.” Woody Allen
In college I found myself living in a small community of artists of all types. We remained separate from the rest of the school for a number of reasons. First we dressed a little differently, we saw things a little differently, and we didn’t give a damn what other people thought about us. I wish I would’ve had the good sense to write down a few of the more profound quotes they offered up as we sat around drinking wine and smoking a fat one. We solved all the problems of the world but couldn’t remember any of the solutions the next morning. How ironic! Keep reading . . .
-
“Tragedy is when I cut my finger. Comedy is when you walk into an open sewer and die.” Mel Brooks
-
“If I had a choice of having a woman in my arms or shooting a bad guy on a horse, I’d take the horse. It’s a lot more fun.” Kevin Costner
-
“It’s like when I buy a horse. I don’t want a thick neck and short legs.” Mickey Rourke, on his ideal woman
-
“My advice to you is get married. If you find as good wife you’ll be happy; if not, you’ll become a philosopher.” Socrates
-
“Where the hell is Australia, anyway?” Britney Spears
I could go on but I think I’ve made my point. Creative types normally spend a good part of their lives “out there” on the very edge of “the box” and occasionally fall all the way out. I’ve been called creative for most of my life and it never seems to be all that complimentary. It’s always “He’s very creative, but a little strange.” For most of us that’s our badge of honor and we wear it proudly.
Long Live the Strange!
It’s a gray day once again after having a few days of bright sunshine. The better-half is at work and the cat and I are doing as little as possible. Over the last few days I’ve been spending time familiarizing myself with Netflix. It was a little cumbersome at first but it didn’t take long to get the hang of it. I was told by a long time Netflix user the danger of “binge watching” and I thought she was kidding. She wasn’t! I now can see just how that can happen because its happening to me already.
As I’ve posted in the recent past, I’m preparing to finally disconnect myself from cable TV once and for all. I’m sick of the continuously rising costs and the hundreds of channels of garbage programming I’m forced to pay for.
I’m making the most of this Netflix free trial for the next month and the more I use it the better I’m liking it. I’ll be signing up for HULU Plus and their free trial next week to checkout the the TV shows they offer. If I’m satisfied with HULU I’ll be terminating my Dish cable service early in August. It’s been a long time coming and I can’t wait.
I think I’ll be doing a little shopping tomorrow at Best Buy. I need one additional ROKU device to adapt my last TV to video streaming. The costs for these devices are minuscule compared to the amount I’ll be saving each month. I just love having extra money in my pocket instead of theirs.
I should have no problem getting through the winter months this year with lots of books to read, a huge selection of TV programming, and more movies than I could ever watch.
It’s time for me to return to my desktop computer, my laptop, iPad, smart phone, and TV because I can now video stream on all of them. I’m deep into the storyline of the series, Marco Polo, with five episodes remaining. Then I can begin watching episodes of an old TV series, The Finder, one of my all-time favorites. It’s back and I’ve got it.
Add to that a bottle of good Sangria, a bag of tortilla chips, and a quart of my salsa and I’m in heaven. I’ll also be saving $645.00 in the first year that will pay for my annual car insurance, a year’s supply of cat food, and the occasional bottle of brandy. It can’t get much better than that.
With warm weather finally arriving the garden is almost out of control. Many of the plants that were previously damaged by my marauding skunk have recovered. Almost every pepper plant of which there are many are now blooming and others already have jalapeños that are ready to be harvested.
The newly installed fence has completely stopped all of our little woodland friends from nosing around at night but there are indications that one of them has been testing the fence, trying to find a way in. I could see tracks in the dew on the grass where the skunk has completely circled the garden checking every inch of the fence. If he keeps this nonsense up I may be forced to remove him permanently. I was hoping I could avoid bloodshed but maybe not.
The better-half’s flower gardens are in a constant state of color and are looking gorgeous. She has such a large variety of flowers that there always seems to be something blooming somewhere on the property.
After a two year wait I’ve begun to harvest my rhubarb. During the better-half’s jam making frenzy last week it was used for the first time to make strawberry/rhubarb jam. I had some of the finished product for breakfast yesterday and it was well worth waiting for. It’s amazing that such an ugly plant can taste so damn good.
Last evening we had guests for dinner which I prepared on the grill. The better-half’s dessert was a rhubarb/strawberry/blackberry/blueberry crisp. It was even more delicious than it sounds. A nice big piece of that crisp with a huge dollop of Kool-Whip. It just doesn’t get much better than that.
At the rate the garden is growing we’ll soon be very busy with pickle making and canning. Without a doubt this will be a year where everything exceeds all of our expectations.
I’m writing this mid-year review of my New Year’s resolutions and it seems I’m doing a little better than I’ve done in the past. Just as an FYI, here’s a copy of the disclaimer I used after completing my review of 2014’s resolutions.
“Four completed out of seven seems pretty good to me but I need to improve that next year. I’d really like just once to complete all of them but I always seem to get sidetracked with other stuff. I may need a few easy ones for 2015 that won’t require me to work so hard. With that thought in mind here is my new list.”
Here we go with this year’s results, so far.
A: COMPLETED, I actually increased my time to forty-three minutes per session.
A: COMPLETED, This one was easy.
A: COMPLETED: This one was even easier.
A: COMPLETED, Believe it or not I’ve been extra good with this. With the birth of a second grandson I will now remain F-Bomb free for at least another year and a half.
A: COMPLETED, and still going strong.
A: INCOMPLETE, It’s hard to break this one semi-bad habit but I’m trying.
A: INCOMPLETE BUT IMPROVED, I no longer feel the least bit tempted to prance even after receiving a number of rather nice emails from my anonymous admirers.
A: INCOMPLETE, I have a few new scars but he really deserves being messed with.
a: INCOMPLETE, I’m averaging just over 400 and I hope to make up some ground this summer.
So far this year I’m well on my way to accomplishing five resolutions out of nine. I’ll be working hard for the next six months to get my numbers up and in line with my predictions (eternal optimism is not my strong suit).
If I ever complete all of my resolutions in a given year it will be an effing miracle and the world will come to an end.
everyuselessthing.com 